A Series of Unfortunate Events
Summary: Post-GSD. In which a bachelor's party was destined to go downhill from the start…
Disclaimer: I do not own GS/GSD.
A/N: This series was inspired by The Hangover movies trilogy. I'd always wondered how the crew would celebrate a bachelor's party. It has been tossing around in my mind for the past few weeks after watching a rerun of GS/GSD. This is my first attempt on writing a GS/GSD fanfic. I hope you all enjoy it!
Warning: This chapter has not been fully edited yet. Please excuse any grammatical errors.
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"So what are your plans, Kira?"
Kira glanced away from the reports before him to find a familiar Black Coat blonde grinning mischievously at the White Coat Commander. "Plans for what, Dearka?" the commander inquired, curiously. The brown-haired Commander was currently in his office reviewing documents that his colleagues, most notably Yzak, had practically dumped on top of his desk. Courtesy of Shiho, Yzak's subordinate, who had graciously delivered them to his office earlier this week. If he'd known that being a commanding officer was to be stuck behind a desk twenty-four-seven, he'd gladly turn this job down earlier.
Currently lounging comfortably on the guest sofa with long legs on top of the coffee table was Dearka Elsman. A black coat captain who has the tendency to escape to his office for confinement when trying to get away from his overbearing commander. It was unsettling at first, since the blonde would come in unannounced. But overtime Kira had gotten used to his presence in which the blonde would sometimes aid him when he would come across puzzling matters at hand. The tanned blonde preoccupied himself by flipping through an old magazine aimlessly. He was about to retort until a newcomer interrupted abruptly.
"What he meant was your plans for your bachelor's party," a new and irritated voice piped in. "So this is where you've been hiding, Elsman." The man glared daggers at his second-in-command.
Speaking of the devil. "Good morning, Commander Joule," Kira greeted politely. His companion responded with a nod and a grunt.
The familiar man clad in a similar attire with Kira strolled inside with ease and handed his colleague a folder in which Kira automatically complied receiving with an incoherent grunt in dismay. Yzak Joule was well known to be a slave driver amongst the commanding officers. It's still a wonder to Kira how the Joule Team could handle such a hot-tempered man as their leader. Kira could never fathom the idea of being the underling under Yzak command for he was too grateful to be in the same ranking as the Joule heir was.
Dearka shrugged indifferently, immune to his commanding officer's hot-tempered attitude.
"I'm surprised Yzak understood my subtle question," Dearka coaxed, smirking in which he received another glare from his silver-haired commanding officer. "But yes, Kira, you are getting married this weekend, right?"
Kira gave his friend an incredulous look. "Of course I'm getting married this weekend, but I just don't see the necessity of having a bachelor's party," he reasoned as he continued to look over the files before him.
The Black Coat Captain gave the brown-haired Commander a ludicrous look. "Y-you, what? You don't want one?"
"Why would I need one?"
"Dude, it's tradition! A bachelor's party is a party where the groom can do whatever he wants! There's no restriction during the day, all you need to do is have fun and live life to its fullest!" Dearka explained exasperatedly.
Yzak scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Correction; a bachelor's party is stag night held for the groom shortly before he enters marriage, to celebrate his 'last night of freedom'. It is also common that it is a last-ditch attempt to lead the groom into temptation before the wedding and to make sure he is fully committed to his marriage proposal. In other words, it's a night when the groom can be unconditionally forgiven to commit any adulterous actions before marrying. I agree with Kira, it is an absurd tradition and it's a wonder that it's still being uphold till this day."
Dearka ignored the silver-haired Commander and waved his hand dismissively. "Don't listen to Yzak. He's just a bitter person—"
"Are you asking to be demoted, Elsman?!"
"—tell you what? Let me plan your party. I promise you, you won't regret it," the blonde guaranteed, grinning from ear to ear.
"You'll definitely regret it," Yzak muttered incoherently, probably recalling an exploit from the past that did not go according to plan.
Kira gave him a skeptical look. "I appreciate the offer, Dearka, but I don't know…"
"Oh, live a little Kira! Besides, judging from the looks of it, your face is screaming to get away from the pile of junks on top of your table," his blonde friend pointed out. Kira grimaced. It's true. Sitting down behind a desk and having to go through documents after documents endlessly was not a pleasant job. If he were to have it his way, he'd be where the mobile suits were located and have his ways with those machines.
"Well…"
"Don't give in to his tactics, Kira!" His silver-haired friend argued. "Dearka's ideas had always gone wrong at the end! This fool thinks that his mastermind plans are flawless when we all know that they're not!"
The blonde gave his friend a flat look. "Well, thanks for being such a good friend, Yzak."
"Don't trust Dearka when it comes to planning," Yzak concluded, giving his companion a warning look.
"Kira, c'mon! Just one day. We'll invite Athrun, too! The more the merrier."
The brown-haired Commander looked from one friend to the other in confusion. He wasn't so sure whether or not he should be agreeing to Dearka's idea. Truth be told, he had never thought about going through such troublesome thing of having a bachelor's party before his wedding day. It wasn't because he dislike them, it was more of the fact that he had been working restlessly for the past few months that the thought of having a stag party never popped up in his mind. Miraculously, he and Lacus had managed to find a day when both of them were free just to perform the ceremony. In addition, his supposed honeymoon, according to Lacus, was only to last about three days—three days and two nights at Orb—and in the last day they were to go back to PLANTs to continue with their duties respectively. Unlike Yzak who seemed to be enjoying the mountain pile of work commanders are deemed to accomplish and oversea, Kira felt antipathetic towards his duties.
"Maybe Dearka's right," the words came out of his mouth before he could process them.
Both of his companions—who were bickering at each other—stopped to look at their brown-haired friend.
"Say what?!" Both Yzak and Dearka bellowed simultaneously. The former with disbelief while the latter with enthusiasm.
Kira sighed. Dearka's right; perhaps what he needed was a break. A break from all of this endless breeding stacks of papers that were around him and his duty. It's too late to take back his words now anyways. The Black Coat blonde was practically shinning with excitement in his eyes. "Alright, Dearka. You win. Let's have a bachelor's party," Kira sighed in resignation.
Dearka cheered with a fist pump while his silver-haired friend frowned. "Kira, you're making a terrible mistake. Perhaps you should overthink this once more..."
"Oh quit being such a joy kill, Yzak. Kira already agreed." The tanned blonde smirked victoriously. "Wait till I get a hold on Athrun."
"But, Dearka. You may have my permission," Kira began, halting his blonde friend's short-lived celebration. "But you need to get permission from Lacus before you do anything."
Dearka frowned. "But why? It's your party, not the Chairwoman's."
His silver-haired companion scoffed. "Well, good luck convincing the Chairwoman in allowing her groom to go to a strip club."
Kira frowned at the mention of the idea. "Please, anything but that place. If Athrun were to come with us, Cagalli will have our heads." All three elite soldiers shuddered. Although Yzak is the male form of a hot-tempered being, Cagalli is in a whole different category as a female. They would rather be going to a battlefield than opt to go against the blonde princess.
"Fine, no strip club," the blonde dejectedly agreed. "Anywhere but there should be fine, right?"
Yzak shook his head. "Trust me, she's going to say that all of this is a horrible idea."
The charming blonde winked at his two commanding officers. "Oh trust me, guys. She's going to think that this is a wonderful idea."
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"I think it's a wonderful idea."
Two pairs of eyes almost bulged out of their sockets while another pair twinkled in delight.
"What?! You're kidding right? Please tell me you're jesting." Yzak protested, eyeing his leader with questionable eyes.
The pink-haired former songstress turned chairwoman merely laugh at Yzak's horrid expression. "No, Yzak-san. I'm not kidding. I believe Kira, Dearka and you should have a break. Fortunately, Dearka made an exemplifying idea of having a bachelor's party as your day off."
"Lacus," her fiancé began, "are you sure? It's fine if I don't have one."
Lacus smiled at him reassuringly. "I'm sure. I'm sorry that you've been busy these past few months, Kira. I believe Dearka's idea of you having a bachelor's party is a grand idea."
"You've got to be kidding me," the Joule heir muttered bitterly. He cannot believe that the Chairwoman actually agreed to go along with Dearka's ludicrous plan.
"You know, Yzak, since you're against this whole idea from the start you don't have to come," Dearka reasoned, slightly smirking.
The silver-haired Commander glared at the blonde in annoyed. "Yeah right. One of us has to make sure the groom actually shows up for his wedding day so I'm coming with."
"Speaking of party, have you had your bachelorette's party yet, Lacus?" Dearka inquired with interest.
The Supreme Council Chairwoman merely smiled in secrecy. "Well yes, as a matter of fact, I did."
Three pairs of eyes looked at their leader in astonishment. "You did?" They parroted simultaneously.
"Where?" The Elsman heir wondered out loud. His other two companions nodded with the same wonder.
"If you want to know, why don't you ask Miriallia? She was there."
At the mention of his Natural girlfriend, Dearka's eyebrows shot up. "W-what? She was? When was this?" Trying to recall his memories of when his girlfriend had not been with him.
"And Shiho was there, too," Lacus added, looking over at Yzak. The oblivious silver-haired Commander merely gave a questionable look, clearly missing the innuendo that the pink-haired was implying. When did Hahnenfuss have to time to actually be sociable he thought to himself.
Lacus chuckled and got up from her seat. "Well then, if that's all boys, then I'll be on my way." She pressed the intercom and immediately two ZAFT officers clad in green uniform entered her office, ready to escort their leader to her next destination.
Before she departed, she turned to look at the three elite officers and winked at them. "Have fun at the party. But I can assure you that my bachelorette's party was wilder than what your party is going to be like." With that, she left the three officers in wonder. Her fiancé was wondering just how wild her party was and the other two were forming a scheme to coax their counter partners on where and when the party actually took place.
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Side Story:
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Ever since his encounter with the Supreme Council Chairwoman, Dearka Elsman, heir to the prestigious Elsman family of the PLANTs colony Febuarius, was left in deep wonder the rest of his day. His mind was in turmoil for which the consequences was not unfathomed by his subordinates around him. He had not been listening to a briefing earlier with the other ZAFT black coat captains (he had made a fool out of himself when they called him out and he yelled "a male strip club!" out loud in which his colleagues gave him questionable looks in response to his outburst). He absentmindedly poured a generous amount of salt to his black coffee instead of sugar (in which he spit out the vile liquid from of his mouth and unknowingly spat it at his assistant). And finally, he had signed a grand total of twenty five documents not with his name but with his Natural girlfriend's name (his assistant blandly pointed out to him when he was about to sign the twenty sixth document. Of course he was forced to go back through the signed documents and white out the name to put his signature instead). All in all, he was having a bad day thanks to the words of a certain pink-haired chairwoman.
Finally, here he was, sitting on top of a stool while resting his chin with one hand and elbow and arms on top of the kitchen counter. His girlfriend was currently attempting—keyword, attempting—to make a presentable and edible dinner for the both of them tonight. Tonight, it was her turn to spend the night over at his apartment and she vehemently asserted in making their dinner in which he begrudging complied with her wish.
"Hey, Millie," he finally called out in attempt to ease his cycling mind off of.
"Yeah?" his girlfriend replied, not taking her eyes off of the conspicuous cooking that she was presently stirring. Dearka twitched (was that a gooey bubble that he just saw?).
"I was wondering…"
"About what?" Miriallia inquired.
"Did you went to Lacus's bachelorette's party?" He finally mustered up the courage to ask.
The former head of Archangel's CIC finally stopped her stirring to look at her Coordinator boyfriend. "How did you know about that?"
He shrugged nonchalantly. "So is that a yes?"
The brunette shrugged back and continued on with her cooking. "Yes, why?"
She's not giving in easily, he thought bemused. Well, she was after all, immune to his charm.
"Where exactly did you go? As a matter of fact, when did you go and why wasn't I informed of it?"
"What's with all these questions?" She retorted back. Why indeed?
"I…well you see, Kira's having his bachelor's party soon, so I was thinking…"
"…Yes?" She pressed on.
"If you have any ideas where we should go. I mean, I was placed in charge of the planning." It was true, he was in charge. But to coax his lovable girlfriend on where and when she went he just had to play along.
Miriallia quirked a brow up. "They put you in charge?" It was rather a statement of disbelief.
Dearka frowned. "Why is everyone thinking that it's a bad thing to put me in charge?"
"Dearka, there's a reason why you're Yzak's second commander. He's in charge; and you're not."
The tanned blonde frowned once again. "That's mean."
"It's the truth. As much as you're an elite soldier, your charismatic personality is nowhere good as Yzak's leadership," she explained, slight smiling.
Way to bruise his ego, he thought bitterly.
"And to answer your question, I went last Saturday. It was the only free time Lacus has besides her upcoming wedding."
Dearka began to ransack his memory of the events that happened last Saturday. Besides being stuck in his office on a weekend, he poked fun on Yzak, trained some new leaf subordinates that were fresh from the Academy, went through three gruesome meetings…
"Wait a minute, didn't you say that you were visiting your parents that day?" he queried, remembering her hasty explanation on going back to Earth that Saturday. His girlfriend responded with a shaking head.
"No, I said that I was going to Orb that day," she corrected him.
"Yeah, to visit your parents," he countered.
"I never said I was going to visit my parents…" she trailed off, ambiguously. The tanned blonde frowned. "You lied to me?"
"No, not exactly, I just exempted the fact that I was going to a bachelorette's party," she meekly smiled, in which her Coordinator boyfriend's frown deepened. She sighed exasperatedly. She turned off the stove and walked towards him to peck his cheek.
"I'm sorry I was being vague," she apologized with a small smile. He was still frowning in which she coaxed him with a peck on the lips.
He gave her a small smile as her compensation. "Fine, you're forgiven. But where did you go in Orb?"
She shook her head once more. "That, my dear, I won't tell."
His frown returned and she sighed once again. "If you're worried that I went to a male strip club, I can assure you I didn't." Her boyfriend protest, but she knew him too well. He was lying through his teeth.
"Other than that, I assure you what we did was legal. We did not break any laws. We simply had fun," she assured him.
"Yeah, a bit too much from what I've heard," he mumbled quietly.
"Are you implying that I cheated on you?" She finally asked with a quirk brow.
"No!" He retorted immediately. Yup, he's lying once again. Who would've known that the great Dearka Elsman was a jealous man indeed?
Miriallia chuckled. "I know, I was just teasing. You know I won't."
"I know that. I'm sorry for making it seem as if I don't trust you." He shyly smiled. She pecked him once more before attending to her cooking again. "You're forgiven. Now, let's eat."
She placed a bowl in front of him that contained his so called 'dinner'. Surprisingly, it looked presentable. Nothing seems to be undercooked or overcooked. Everything looks like how the food she was attempting to make should look like. But what he grudged was the tasting part.
"Well? What do you think?"
Dearka nodded in approval. "It looks good." In which he received a swat on the arm.
"Well come on now, go on and taste it," she cajoled him, eagerly. With that look on her face, Dearka didn't have the heart to say no to her. She was rather very persuasive with facial expressions and him with his words (although she was mostly immune to his charms by now).
He hesitantly picked up the spoon that was placed beside his bowl and gulped. Perhaps this time she prevailed. It won't hurt him anyways just to try now could it?
He scooped out a generous amount of the nourishment and slowly ascend it closer towards his mouth. Once the content was inside his mouth, he began to chew slowly. His girlfriend was looking at him with high hopes and gleam in her eyes.
Unfortunately, the moment he swallowed the content, his facial expression drastically changed. His face turned green and immediately, he puked out the content before it ever reached his stomach. He coughed and a glass of water was immediately placed before him. He quickly chugged down the liquid, getting rid of the vile taste and finally gasp.
A moment of silent fell between the couple.
"Sweetheart," Dearka began after regaining his breath, "I implore you to let us have dinner outside, call in a takeout order, or better yet, let me do the cooking from now on."
Miriallia frowned and sighed in resignation. "That bad?"
Dearka nodded vigorously, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Yes, if you want us to live, don't ever get close to the stove ever again."
His girlfriend rolled her eyes at his dramatic statement and placed both hands up in surrender. "Okay fine, you win. I'll go get the takeout menu…"
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A/N: And there you have it ladies and gentlemen! The first chapter! Honestly, my favorite part was writing the interaction between Millie and Dearka. They're just too cute! It's a shame that their short-lived romance was not explored. I just hope that if the Gundam Seed franchise were to have a sequel, Dearka and Millie would become a couple then. Besides Dearka being my favorite character to write, I love Yzak! His explanation of bachelor's party was taken from Wikipedia (hehe). Next chapter is the start of the boys' adventure! In addition, I'm going to write a story of how Yzak coaxed Shiho into telling him where she went for the party! Until next time! Let me know what you all think about this by reviewing!
