Objects at rest, objects in motion by Roo
A/N Gen /Angst
Spoilers: Switchman, siege, killers, the debt.s1.
Summary: Blair and Jim POVs- Early days, coping with having to live and work together.
Blair POV
Okay, so I've got me a Sentinel. Agreeing to help the guy deal with it seemed like an easy thing. Okay, not easy- since when do I do easy? And it's not as if Jim's totally on board here, which makes things…. difficult. Perhaps my first clue that my life had irrevocably changed and were about to get 'interesting'- was the demented bomber on the bus. And the little lady in charge happened to be one of Jim's old Peru buddies little girl. I got to see a photo of Jim's unit, but nothing specific about Peru. And Jim, of course, said nothing. Typical.
Then there was the day the police HQ got taken over by armed militants and I killed a guy with a vending machine. All that and I got my paperwork started and got my observers pass. Quite a day.
Helping Jim should have been easy after that. That whole thing with Danny Choi and Beverley didn't help though. A death and then he was losing sensations and his hearing going on the fritz? Man, I was wandering around in the dark with that one for a while. But we coped.
And I now can't get much closer…or further apart, now that I'm living in his spare room. About that, I mean, how was I to know there was a meth lab next door and that it would explode like that? Still, I lost stuff, but at least Jim and I were okay. The place had been huge, cold and a bit ratty, but it was mine. All mine.
How many more times can I apologise for the mess Larry made? I have to admit that Jim sure had me going there for a second, when he told me Larry had broken back into the apartment and was watching TV. I couldn't resist asking "what programme?" It made Jim smile and that was good to see after the last few hectic days sorting out gang hotspots and preventing all out warfare.
I know he worries about me. It's apparent in the gruff way that he says "Keep sharp, Chief". I think he even likes me most of the time. He just doesn't chatter like I do. He knows about Naomi and some of the places we lived, but I know nothing about his family at all. They could all be dead or live around the corner for all I know. I need to know what makes Jim tick. And if don't know about his upbringing how do I assess how he came to be and why he reacts like he does? And I can't approach it from the other angle either. He certainly won't open up about his eighteen months in Peru. I need to give it time. I just know there's important useful stuff locked tightly in that sharp brain of his. Jim pretends to be dumb, but he makes connections faster than many Professors on the campus. And you need a lot of smarts to be in the Rangers and in the police force.
So, sharing Jim's apartment, which is very nice by the way, is okay so far. A little too white and impersonal for my tastes, but I might not be here long so I won't say anything. I've done the whole nine yards, sharing apartments- houses thing, many times before. Trust me, it always degenerates into who buys the next toilet rolls, milk and take out and let's not forget the washing up rota either. I've come to realise that Jim may be in a league of his own with colour coded food boxes and cleaning up in the shower and kitchen. Jim was in the Army, so maybe some of these issues stem from that part of his life. Or maybe he really is that anal about everything. Maybe his dad was like that too...if only I knew.
Having said that, Jim allowed me a week to sort myself out and that passed three days ago and nothing's been said. No boxes piled in the lobby or anything, or not yet at least. Not like when I lived with Amy…but that's another story and whatever she told you– it isn't true! I have been looking for somewhere else but what with finishing the Larry project and other stuff there hasn't been any time. I do have a school schedule to keep to, even though it looks like I'm running everywhere. I mean Jim has a routine too, one that's punctuated by dead bodies, but he's got things to do just like me.
House routines, now those I seem to be disrupting big time. I can't help it if I get so caught up in something that I'm still writing or on my laptop until 2 am. And, yes I like World music played loud to feel the rhythm on the soles of my feet.
We've had a few good evenings watching TV, cooking a meal, normal stuff. It feels good and I think we have a bond. And then something happens and he gets all tetchy and pissed off. Jim has much to learn about people skills. Maybe that's why he and Carolyn….no, I don't know the details so I shouldn't assume or judge. But I know what I've observed at Major Crimes bullpen. They probe their comfort zones, not sure what reaction they will get from each other. They divorced- so it ended, but how badly? Still a few sparks to light a few flames, I wonder? Hmmm, romancing a Sentinel. That could get…interesting…oh to be a fly on the wall, for that one!
So, my Sentinel isn't the most open person to tell me how he feels, what he sees, and what he makes of the world around him- the Danny/Beverly incident being a case in point. But at least I think I can support him, offer theories and solutions. Seems to have worked so far, when I was flying by the seat of my pants, and he didn't seem to realise.
I've made a few suggestions, as to replacement products in the home. Things he seems to be now allergic to. Sometimes I'm sure it's a stress thing too. Remember what happened when his friend Danny Choi died and we got kicked off the case by Simon? Hard work, late nights, crap food makes for an itchy, headachy blob of a Sentinel. Not to mention that on-off vibe with Carolyn sending him in a tailspin. But don't tell him I said that!
Anyway, we need to talk. Better to get it out into the open- ask him outright how much longer I can stay. Like grown up people. I will, just as soon as I've sorted my laundry down here in the bowels of the apartment block. Get some dinner on, maybe watch some TV. Cool. Of course, I'll be disappointed if he says go by the end of the month. Been there done that. Sooner or later, though, I get the urge to just chill out in one spot for a while.
And this feels good… so far.
I'm not saying it will be easy.
Since when did I ever do easy?
SSSSSSSSSSS
Jim POV
You won't notice I'm here, he assured me. Right. That was before I knew what Larry could do - like Houdini his cage and trash my place and then escape into the wild blue yonder. As if I really needed that extra hassle during a tough investigation, which could ignite at any time into street gang warfare.
It all ended well, but I think the best bit was Sandburg holing up in the old lady's place and the other oldsters shaming the young bloods. That I would like to have seen.
And then Larry broke back in. Life gives you lemons- you make lemonade. We stuck him back in his cage and tidied up the loft. Sandburg managed to finish his project and the Barbary ape was needed elsewhere. At least I think that's what happened, I wasn't around all the time, so I can't be sure of the details. There were a few days when I wasn't sure what I'd come back to at the loft. Didn't stop Sandburg from apologising every other minute, which almost drove me to locking him out on the balcony for a day or two. I even got as far as unlocking the door…
I've lived with people before. But bunking Army style is nothing like the Sandburg Effect. It's difficult to explain. Even living with Carolyn was different of course. We were in love, at first, and then married. And it was cosy for a while before the rot set in, and the arguments started. We discovered that we were just too different personalities to live together. We managed to part before it got nasty and the divorce could have been a lot worse.
Blair Sandburg is different. A free spirit. Talkative, obsessive…caring. He has his own code, like me. And yet….he can be irritating at the same time. But what else could I do the other week? The guy's apartment had just blown up. Okay, it was a flea pit with rats in the inner walls from what I could see and maybe the explosion was a good thing- but it was his. And we were lucky not to get injured in the blast or over dose on meth fumes.
So now he's with me. Back up, there a second. Yeah, he is with me. Official observer, accredited pass and all. That's what the outsiders see, but Simon knows that he's helping me get to grips with this Sentinel business. Sandburg's so excited by it that he literally bounces. Me, personally, I'd rather live without it. But apparently I can't turn it off now I'm back online. How about that? And after Danny dying in my arms and losing touch and hearing for a bit, maybe it's just as well the guy is on hand in case something else weird happens to me.
Too late, weird lives with me now. Am I some freakish throwback? And I certainly don't think of myself as superior- just different. I look in the mirror and I see the same face as before staring back. I am still me, aren't I? Sandburg could explain it all I expect. Trouble is, once he gets going, it's hard to stop him. Endearing and aggravating as hell. Like some energizer bunny with super batteries. But I guess that's just the way he is- enthusiastic, relentless- in some ways he's like me- looking for clues and finding answers. I think that's why he likes the cop thing. And I have to admit that he does come out of the left field with some of his ideas – but they work and we get results and everybody's happy. Especially Simon and that's not always easy to achieve.
Sometimes things just build up and everything just sucks. We're overloaded at work. I'm tired. I've had headaches all week, snapping at everybody. Until Sandburg found out (someone snitched), and saw a pattern. I was okay at home but not at work. Sick building syndrome or something, sounds lovely. Anyway that's how we're covering the irritating sub vocal noise the building AC makes. Seems the maintenance schedule for the building is way behind, the paperwork lax and lawsuits not withstanding- it should be fixed by the time I next report for duty.
Maybe that's why my skin feels tight and itchy as well? Or is this something else? I hate this. I've been a tough Army Ranger, lived in the jungle for eighteen months and now I break out in a nasty rash just because someone shouted at me? I don't think so. But Sandburg will probably say yes. Guess I'd better mention it before I stop breathing and he has to stick me with an Epi pen. Yes, we've had that kind of conversation. Like I said, weird is normal. Whatever the problem is with the laundry detergent, we'll figure it out together.
And today Carolyn cornered me. Does she want another meal…a date? Why? Should I? Tempting, even though I know it's bound to end in tears. We were pretty good for a while. She still remembers that scorching kiss we had during the Switchman case. I'm not mentioning this to Sandburg - babe magnet though he appears to be. That would be too much at this point in time. I mean he might not be here in the loft much longer. I know I can be pretty prickly to live with and that box room is very small. However it is kind of nice to have someone else around the place. I'm going to let him stay if he wants to. I'll have to set a few ground rules though. I'm not saying it will be easy, but sometimes the best things in life are hard won.
Feel the fear and do it anyway.
End
