I don't own any part of the Star Wars franchise. All rights to Disney, Lucas, etc and so forth.
AU: My first foray into SW! Well, not my first if we're being honest, but I don't think an OC AU I wrote back in the seventh grade counts. Anyway, hope you enjoy it: the organ duet au nobody asked for. Pure, bizarre fluff. Cheers!
The leaves were just beginning their metamorphosis, trading in their brilliant, bright, every-shade-of-green for the startling jewel tones that heralded Autumn. It was early yet for there to be crunching piles of leaves underfoot, early still for the halos of gold and red that were determined to surround the quad, but the trees hadn't seemed to have gotten the memo. Neither had the woman who was clearly frolicking through said piles, staring up at said leaves, and lifting her arms above her head to whoop and then throw herself into the still green grass that was softened by the offerings of the trees above her.
Ben wondered if he'd ever been young enough to enjoy something so simple. He had vague recollections of riding on someone's shoulders, reaching into a canopy of orange and gold above his head...maybe even delighting in the shower of leaves over the unlikely pair as he'd shaken the branches.
But it was honestly all a blur and he had better things to do with his limited rehearsal time on his alma mater's campus than make-believe memories because some silly underclassman had inspired an insipid fantasy of family and Fall.
That sobering thought didn't stop him from turning back to the quad once he'd closed the trunk of his car, however. It didn't stop him from observing the woman and her friend who had joined her and was now tickling her face with one of those golden leaves. He felt anger at himself for his own foolishness rising up and, unable to quell it, he turned away again and stomped all the way to the chapel.
The music in his hands wasn't going to practice itself.
"Tickle tickle tickle!"
"Finn, stop!"
Rey's friend pulled away, hands up and face innocent as he dropped the offending leaf over his shoulder.
"Who, me? I'm not doing anything."
Rey giggled again and let herself relax back into the grass and leaves. Her stomach felt deliciously sore from all the laughter and she could feel the corners of her eyes relaxing. It had been one of the worst midterm weeks she'd ever had, so to sit here, watching patches of bright blue filtered through fluffy white clouds and waving branches decorated with golden yellow and red-orange leaves was peace itself.
Finn sat beside her, propped up on his hands, and watched the clouds and trees with her.
"It's an early Fall," he murmured.
"Yeah," said Rey. She sighed and felt Finn's eyes on her.
"Feel any better?" he asked. He'd had some of the same exams she'd had and he knew how much more stressful her double major in mechanical engineering and environmental sciences was compared to his single computer engineering.
"A little," she admitted. Then she rolled over unexpectedly and propped up on one elbow to look up at him. "What are you doing for Thanksgiving this year?"
"Driving across country to visit Bea, probably," he replied. "Want to come?" He hesitated, then said in a sly tone of voice, "She said her brother has leave this year."
Rey wrinkled her nose. It was no secret she'd had a crush on Poe Dameron once upon a time, but he was, like, a decade older than her, and she said as much. Finn laughed.
"That didn't stop you checking out schools for aerospace engineering degrees, did it?"
"Yeah, and look what I did with that!" she exclaimed, reaching over and smacking him on the arm.
Finn gave a hearty laugh and smacked her shoulder in return. "Come on, I'm just teasing."
Rey grumbled back at him and flopped onto her back again. She felt Finn settle down beside her and she'd just closed her eyes to enjoy a catnap when a shadow passed over her face. Her eyes snapped open again and she saw a pair of legs clad in shabby corduroys ending at an oatmeal colored sweater and above that, a ratty beard…she realized it was her advisor.
"Doctor Luke!" she exclaimed, but she didn't sit up right away and watched him bend slightly at the waist to look her in the eye.
"Good afternoon, Rey. I've been looking for you. I've had a rather strange request…"
Rey sat up.
"I won't play it!"
The red-haired composer leaned nonchalantly against the organ console as the irate performer crunched the music in one hand and waved it as menacingly as one could wave sheet music. Hux didn't blink, however. In fact, he was tempted to yawn, but he didn't want to lose his organist entirely.
"It's part of the program. It's a world premier. You have to play it. You've known you'd be playing it for weeks."
"You hadn't arranged it as a duet weeks ago!"
"You can stand to share your console with another organist for two performances, Ren." Hux's careful use of the man's stage name didn't seem to mollify him in the slightest.
"I don't play duets!" Ben roared and the hand that was waving the music around wildly opened, leaving the sheet music to scatter angrily in the drafty chapel and float back down around their figures like money in a bank explosion.
Hux took a deep, steadying breath, and stared Ben straight in the eyes before he bent at the waist to begin collecting the music. When he straightened back up, he found a red-faced, furious, and embarrassed musician staring back at him, the remaining papers thrust out before him. Hux took them and carefully shuffled the music back together, tapping the sheets on the console twice to even them out. He looked back at Ben, whose arms were now crossed like the petulant child prodigy he'd been and frankly, still was.
"You'll play this one, Ren," he finally said, his voice loud and clear in the excellent acoustics of the round space. "Or do I need to speak to the dean?"
Ben's nostrils flared and then he snapped back around and began stomping away from the organ, away from Hux.
"Where are you going?"
"To talk to the dean myself," he growled over his shoulder.
"Ren!" Hux yelled after him. "Be careful your personal issues don't get in the way of what's best for the university!"
Ben flipped him the bird.
Rey rushed around her room like a lunatic, throwing shoes and clothes around as she searched for those precious items she hadn't bothered to use in over two years. Finn stood in the doorway watching for a few minutes before he stepped inside, caught her firmly with his hands on her shoulders, and looked her in the eye.
"Slow down," he said. Rey stared back at him, eyes wide, then nodded and tried to take a deep breath.
"Now try to think of where you put them when you moved in."
"Finn, I've lived in this room for two years. I can't remember that far back. I can barely remember everything I crammed for last week!"
Finn smiled and shook his head. "I know how long you've lived here. I helped you move in, remember?"
"Well...but I…"
"They would've gone in your closet, right?"
"Yes, but…"
Finn moved Rey aside and walked over to the closet. He scanned the messy, covered floor and it made him smile. When Rey had first moved into this suite with him and one other roommate, she'd only owned exactly what she'd needed. A week's worth of clothing, a small basket with her toiletries, a photo of a man and woman he could only presume were her family, and one set of bedclothes. And…
"Ah ha," he said, grinning, and reached onto the top shelf, beyond Rey's line of sight. When he brought his hands back down, he was cradling a pair of soft, black mary janes with a smooth tan sole and small, firm heel.
"I must've put them up when…"
Finn nodded, handing the shoes over to her. She held them to her chest and gave a shuddering breath. Without warning, Rey felt Finn wrap her in a warm hug.
"Want me to go with you?" he asked.
"Nah. You have a Skype date with Bea, right?"
Finn shrugged, but Rey saw the small smile playing about his lips. She smiled in response.
"I'll be ok," she said firmly. "Go talk to your one and only."
Finn gave her another hug. "I'll swing by the chapel in an hour and we can go get dinner," he said, and was rewarded with another bright, brave smile.
"That's a promise," Rey replied and she waved as they parted ways at the door of their suite. Finn walked backwards for several seconds and saw the way her shoulders hunched again as she moved further down the hall. His expression grew doubtful, but just as he stopped, his phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket and checked the number, then opened the call.
"Bea!" he exclaimed, his voice happy even as he thoughtfully watched Rey continue to walk away, her form growing smaller and smaller.
"No, no, this is fine," he replied to Bea's cheerful greeting. "I have time now. We have a date, after all, don't we?"
A smile broke over his features at the bashful mutterings coming over the phone's speaker and with one last glance down the hall, he turned and continued in the opposite direction.
The door to Leia's office swung open so hard that it crashed into the wall behind it and rattled violently on its hinges. A tall, dark, and angry presence swept in after it.
"Here we go," she muttered to herself.
"First that obsequious, soulless carrot plans the entire concert and has the gaul to put Webber, of all the twentieth century composers he could've chosen - and I use the term composer very loosely - on the program and then he rearranges it without telling me as a duet and that imbecile of a dean you hired had the audacity to tell me that the program can't be changed! Does no one on your staff know who I am?!"
Leia wanted very much to rest her head in her hands, or even reach into the drawer where she kept her scotch for "special" occasions. Although surely, her somewhat estranged, world's premier organist of a son visiting her office counted as special?
Leia cleared her throat and waved at the chair in front of her desk - the chair into which her son was already folding his large frame. She closed her eyes briefly and when she opened them again, there was a crinkle of a smile at the corners.
It was there because of a stress headache, but Ben didn't need to know that.
"I'm sure everyone on the staff knows who you are, Ben," she replied in the familiar, scratchy voice he'd grown up hearing in his head at every turn. Ben snorted, but he took in the large, framed photo of himself and his mother that hung on the east wall of the president's office. There was a photo of himself, his mother, and his father hanging right next to it. He felt something in his chest constrict painfully and he glared at Leia for good measure.
"Well they're doing a shitty job of showing they know it."
"Just because they aren't pandering to your every whim?"
"Mom."
"Ben," Leia replied, her tone bitingly short, but a gentle smile betrayed her. "It's nice to see you. Were you even going to stop by my office to say hello, or are you only here under imagined duress?"
"He put fucking Lloyd Webber on the program!"
"Yes, because everyone hates twentieth century French organ music, but they love musicals. Remember who your audience is, Ben. You knew you'd be playing something far below your pay grade when you agreed to do this concert."
Ben huffed and crossed his arms again and Leia was painfully reminded of his sixteen year old self, throwing tantrums in an office not unlike the one they were in now, demanding more challenging music, better audiences, better everything.
Now he had it, but did he have anything else? She'd wanted so much for her baby boy. So much…
"Thank you," she murmured and he glanced at her, his expression almost scornful...suspicious.
"For what?"
"For coming back here. For agreeing to the performances. It means the world to me."
To see you again, she wanted to add, but knew she could only push him so far. He'd never handled his emotions well before. He handled them even more poorly now, if that was possible.
For a second, Ben Solo looked utterly gobsmacked and it was the most beautiful, precious sight in the world to Leia Organa-Solo, president of a small university that had birthed this world-class musician. She smiled at him and to her surprise, he smiled back at her. It was small, uncertain, and he flicked his eyes to the window just a moment after he'd given it, but it was a smile just the same.
"Mom," he repeated, but it held far less of the ire it had just minutes ago, and was filled with far kinder emotions. Leia reached into her desk drawer.
"Scotch?" she asked innocently.
Rey nearly ran into the tall, red-haired man holding sheet music at the entrance of the chapel and she began apologizing profusely the minute she realized it.
Hux hoped Ren wouldn't eat her alive.
"You must be the organist?" he offered and Rey nodded shortly, closing her mouth against the remaining apologies on her tongue. She looked for something to say to fill the void as the man eyed her up and down. His gaze was almost pitying and she found she didn't like it.
"Doctor Luke found me a little while ago. I was sorry to hear about Mitaka," she said. "I'm Rey Smith."
"Armitage Hux. Composer in Residence." He shuffled the papers in his hands and then held out one hand to her.
Rey moved her shoes to one arm and took the proffered hand, giving it a firm shake.
"Come with me. Doctor Skywalker said you were the most promising student he'd had in over a decade. Not since Ren himself, he told me." Hux looked over his shoulder at her as Rey followed him into the chapel and up the stairs toward the organ console. "But I understand you stopped playing?"
"Yes, but he stayed on as my advisor. I'd decided to switch one of my double majors and I wasn't going to be able to stay on as a music student, taking lessons as an extracurricular. The credit schedule was too much."
"But you've kept up?" Hux was starting to sound a little concerned and Rey regarded him warily.
"Practicing?" Rey wondered how much she should admit. This was last minute, it was a bigger deal than anything she'd done up till now, save the funeral two years ago, and her advisor's reputation was on the line now, too. She decided to fib.
"Oh, yes," she gushed, and Hux faced forward again. Rey took the opportunity to hurriedly brush the layer of dust from the tops of her shoes.
She'd played scales from time to time, still listened to the old albums and lessons occasionally, and every now and then would break out her old concert pieces...but it was all just for fun. It wasn't serious. She wasn't serious.
That thought brought her up short. Why had she agreed to this so suddenly that afternoon? Why hadn't she been able to turn down her advisor and those damned, pleading blue eyes of his? She stifled a groan and scrunched her nose up, sending a quick prayer heavenward.
"Do I have time to warm up?" Rey asked as they came abreast of the magnificent, four manual console.
Hux sniffed, looking about disdainfully. He picked up Ren's empty coffee cup from earlier and gave her a short nod. "I expect you have a few minutes, at least. Ren hasn't returned yet. I'll see if I can find him."
Rey thanked him, then stood there, shifting her weight from one foot to the other and glancing from the organ to Hux and back. He started to open his mouth, clearly to ask her what was wrong, and she gestured to him before he could speak.
"I sort of need the music," she said. She was strangely gratified to see a bright red blush creep up the man's neck, across his cheeks, and into his hairline. He handed the scrunched and smoothed papers over to her quickly, then turned and walked away without another word.
"Thanks," she called after him. He lifted a hand in response and kept walking. Rey looked back at the organ, then at the papers in her hands. A giddy feeling spread over her.
Lloyd Webber. Something fun. Thank God and all the saints for something she could play.
With a considerably lighter heart, Rey turned and sat down on the bench, toeing off her sneakers and peeling off her socks in order to slip her feet into her precious, treasured organist shoes.
Ben met Hux at the door of the chapel and was attempting to bypass him with as little acknowledgement as possible to no avail. The composer had stopped him from passing by gripping his upper arm so hard that he hissed at the pressure.
"Let go," he practically growled and the composer blinked at him, a slight sneer sitting on his lips.
"Have you been drinking?"
"No." Yes, but it was my mother's scotch and she's the president of this pathetic school, so what's it to you? Ben had to stop himself from making a complete fool of himself again. Time had done nothing to lessen his anger with this place, but he'd at least learned to mostly control himself. For instance, instead of ripping up the arrangement earlier, he'd merely thrown it around. That was an improvement to what he might've done even five years ago.
Instead of explaining any of that to Hux, Ben settled for sneering in return.
Hux closed his eyes briefly as if he could will this day away.
"Whatever, Ren. Just try not to scare away your duettist. She's practicing right now."
The pronoun set off alarm bells.
"She?"
"Yes, she," Hux snapped. "Mitaka has been puking his guts out for three days and I didn't think you'd want to be anywhere near that, so I arranged for a replacement."
Ben felt his controlled anger begin to bubble back up to the surface.
"You never said-"
"We didn't know until today. The idiot thought he'd be well by now and he clearly isn't. So this performance is already not going according to anyone's plan and I'd appreciate you fucking falling into line, Ren!" Hux barked out.
For once, Ben was silent. He took a deep breath, held up his hands, palms out, and took a careful step back from Hux. He could do this. He could do this.
God, his mother owed him an entire bottle of scotch.
Hux blinked at him again, looked very much as if he wanted to keep yelling, and instead turned and walked back inside the chapel. After a moment, Ben followed him.
In the quietude of herself and the keyboards, Rey found she was truly at peace. She'd always known the organ was the only place she'd ever find that elusive sense of home, but she simply hadn't been able to bring herself to return to the console - especially not this console - after what had happened.
But what did happen, ran a stray thought through her mind, causing her fingers to stumble - almost! She caught herself before those digits betrayed her and swept them along the part as it was written for her. As if it had been written for her.
What happened, she told herself firmly, was life. People came into one's life and left it, always. Sometimes quickly, sometimes after a long stay. But they always left.
The part resolved into a gentle, familiar melody and Rey felt her heart expanding in her chest, giving rise to the heady moments when a musician knows - when she knows - that she is performing without flaw, without fumble, allowing the music to usher out into space in its most perfect, most expressive form. When the music is not only being performed as written, but as imagined by the hands and mind that first dreamed it.
Rey came to the last page of the section she was working on and allowed the harmonies to trail off into the silence...and heard a slow clap sound directly behind her. Startled, she snatched her hands and feet away from the organ. Then she whipped about, searching for her unexpected audience.
Whatever her audience had been expecting, it had not been her, she was quite certain of that judging by the intense gaze the dark-haired man standing immediately to her left was giving her. Unnerved, Rey turned from him and found the composer - Hux - sitting across the chapel from them, in one of the lower rows of seats. His upturned face was smiling, albeit tightly, and he was leaning forward, his clasped hands resting on the seat back in front of him. Ah. So he'd been clapping. She offered a small smile in return.
"Bravo. That was glorious, exactly as I imagined your part. Now if only Ren can play along and manage not to suss it all up, we'll be set for the first concert."
"Tomorrow, right?" Rey asked and Hux nodded, but they were interrupted by a snort from the left. Rey glanced over and wanted very much to ask the clearly royal douchebag what his problem was, but he spoke first.
"There's a preview at the reception at the President's home tonight," Ben told her. He said it in an extremely patient tone of voice. Rey bristled.
"Forgive me for pointing it out, but President Solo doesn't have a four manual organ in her home."
Ben's eyes narrowed in...anger or humor, Rey couldn't tell, and he spoke again. "Exactly. Should make playing this arrangement interesting."
Hux stood up. "This arrangement is being premiered tomorrow night! There isn't going to be a fucking preview. You're playing another piece on your own at the president's home, Ren. Stop being an asshole and practice the piece while you have your duettist or I'm going to hire her to play the entire concert and tell you to go jump in the bloody river!"
Ben huffed and rolled his eyes. "Calm down, Hux. I was only making a joke. I just brought up the reception in case my duettist - I'm assuming you have a name, Miss…?"
"Rey," she bit out.
"...in case Miss Rey would like to come to it. After all, she's performing this weekend as well. There's no reason she shouldn't enjoy the spotlight while she can."
Hux stood there silently glaring at Ben for what felt like a very long moment indeed, to Rey. Then he slowly exhaled the breath he'd been holding, closed his eyes, opened them again, and forced a smile even tighter than the one he'd had just seconds before the exchange. Rey found she was very worried for his cheek muscles.
"Fine. It was extremely hilarious, Ren. Consider us all amused. Now fucking practice. I'm going to take a break and by break I mean I'm going to go smoke an entire pack of cigarettes. Then I might scream for a few minutes. By the time I get back, I want to hear the arrangement in its entirety. Understood?"
"Fine," Rey and Ben said, echoing one another. Hux turned on his heel and made his way down the rows of seats toward the doors, complaining loudly about pretentious, dickwad musicians who think they own the earth the entire way. Rey watched the composer leave, until he disappeared from view. When she turned back to the organ, Ben was already sitting on the other end of the bench, putting his shoes on and arranging his music around hers.
She tried to consider him clearly, unbiased, but all she could think about was how much more handsome he was in person than in the photos President Solo had of her son, and she discovered she was completely unprepared for those intense, dark eyes and black hair frothing about his forehead, cheekbones, and collar. She arranged herself back onto the bench and tried to compose her thoughts some, lingering on what Doctor Luke had told her when she was just a lowly transfer student to the university…
Ben Solo, aka Kylo Ren, the premier organist in the world, a child prodigy who grew up at this small university and reached for the stars and so much more. To her, he was the poor little rich boy who gave up loving parents and a close home life for the sake of ambition...but that wasn't entirely fair. He had a gift, that much was true. She could remember listening to some of the recordings the university still had of his student recital days and they were breathtaking.
Doctor Luke had told her, in those early days, that she had a gift to rival Ren's.
But then everything had changed and the music had just...stopped.
Fingers snapping in front of her face brought her back to reality and she glanced over at Ben, who looked gently amused...and maybe a little irritated.
"I'm sure wherever you just went is far preferable to spending an hour on an organ bench next to me, but the sooner we rehearse the sooner you can return to it."
"I wasn't - I'm not -" Rey felt an uncomfortable flush creep up her neck as she tried to explain herself and the irritation in Ben's face grew exponentially.
"I was joking again, Miss Rey," he said. "But we should get to it."
He suited his actions to his words and lifted his hands to the manuals he would be playing.
"I believe Hux marked in the music who would be pulling which stops and arranging the voicings?"
"Yes," Rey replied quietly, feeling cowed. She didn't like feeling cowed. In fact, she could count on one hand the number of times she'd allowed someone to make her feel small and stupid since she'd left what one could loosely term her home and come to this university.
Straightening her back, she stretched her legs out along the pedals and felt for her starting position. She wasn't the same height as him by any means, but she also wasn't some shrinking flower next to him. She glanced at him one more time and made sure her gaze was steely. She could be a trained professional about this, even if she wasn't one. Doctor Luke believed in her.
Besides, it was one stupid medley. She could do this. She was made to do this.
Then they hit the opening strains of the piece together and Rey felt the way his strong limbs brushed hers as they smoothly worked their way through the piece and a strange tingling sensation suffused her fingertips. Her breath worked its way high into her chest and for the briefest moment it felt like flying as they tangled and wrestled with one another over the pedals and their hands flew along the keys and she dared one glance at him…
...and found he was looking right back, triumph in his gaze.
Rey was so startled that she lost her place, caught one of his legs at the wrong moment, and went tumbling backwards off the bench.
When Hux returned to the chapel half an hour later he met a handsome African-American man at the doors.
"Excuse me, you're not here to page turn, are you?" he asked. "I wrote the arrangement without any need for one. The performers should be able to -"
"Not at all," the man said, smiling and holding out a hand. "I'm Finn, one of Rey's friends. I told her I'd meet her after her practice."
"Oh. Well, in that case, would you care to come inside? I'm Hux, Composer in Residence. I'm just checking on them. I need to make sure Ren hasn't devoured her whole."
Finn gave him a horrified look and Hux wanted to reassure him, he really did. Instead, he opened the door for him.
"After you," he murmured.
Finn gave a nervous laugh and walked into the building. He and Hux could hear the closing strains of Music of the Night and Finn grinned, despite his nerves for his friend.
"Doctor Luke didn't say it was a piece from Phantom!" he exclaimed. "Rey has got to be eating this up." He turned to Hux eagerly, missing the politely disdainful wrinkle of the man's nose. "She loved this show when we were kids. Always wanted her own Raoul to come and take her away."
"Raoul? In my experience it's the Phantom who usually wins over the hearts of young girls."
"Not Rey," Finn scoffed. "She…" He trailed off and gave the other man an uncertain look. Hux was a veritable stranger, after all. Rey would probably not appreciate Finn's sharing her life story with the man. "Anyway, she just thought he was the more appealing of the two. Take away the score and what kind of story do you have? The Phantom is kind of a psychopathic dick, isn't he?"
Hux raised and eyebrow and sniffed some, then turned his attention back to the performance, clearly bored of the conversation. That or he was a fan of the Phantom. Finn sat down and leaned back in his seat, allowing himself to relax some and soak up the music. They looked good up there, he had to admit. He couldn't see everything, but he could see their straight backs, their hands crossing over from time to time, their feet and legs vying with one another over the pedals. The tension of the performance was in their forms and despite their differences in height and size, at times it was difficult to tell which feet belonged to whom. The man - Kylo Ren, Doctor Luke had called him - began to pull away from Rey a bit as the music shifted. He was playing the closing chords of Music of the Night, but Rey…
Her position shifted and a hauntingly sweet rendition of Raoul and Christine's theme, All I Ask Of You, sounded above Ren's final notes. The final page reached, the pair each held their keys down, their feet sliding gently along the pedals, and then, at the slightest nod from Ren, they lifted both pairs of hands and feet off of the instrument.
Finn blinked once, twice, then bounded to his feet and began clapping and whistling. The pair of performers stayed motionless for a moment more, then it was as if Rey shot from her place on the bench.
Finn watched as the other performer's shoulders seemed to sag before he turned from the console as well. He cupped his hands around his mouth.
"Rey, that was brilliant!"
He was rewarded with a bright smile as his friend practically ripped off her organ shoes and worked her sneakers back onto her feet, no socks, she was in such a rush to leave.
"Looks like they might actually pull it off," Hux murmured, startling him. Finn turned toward him and gave him a wide smile.
"That's Rey for you," he said. "She can do anything."
"Thank God for that," Hux remarked cryptically, then he was starting up towards the console, passing Rey and giving her a pleased nod.
Rey, for her part, seemed to ignore everything except Finn and was at his side in seconds flat since finishing the piece.
"Dinner?" she asked breathlessly, clutching her organ shoes to her chest.
"Do you want to leave those here?" Finn pointed to the shoes.
Rey glanced down, then back up toward the organ. The concert organist seemed to feel her gaze and looked down at her quite deliberately. Rey whipped back around and shook her head.
"Nah. Let's go," she said. "You promised me dinner."
Finn laughed. "On the meal plan," he pointed out.
"It's still food!" Rey sang and the pair of them walked from the chapel, joking together as they went.
Hux watched Ben watch them and cleared his throat.
"You should go eat, too," he said. "The reception tonight is just finger food."
"I'm not hungry," Ben replied.
"I know a decent cafe not far from the campus."
"Not hungry," Ben grunted again, squishing his feet into a sad looking pair of loafers.
"Fine," Hux snapped. "Starve. Just don't scare that woman off, whatever you do, because I can promise you that Mitaka isn't even as good as she is and he's been taking lessons consistently for four years."
Ben straightened up and glared at him. "She isn't even taking lessons?"
Hux realized his mistake and closed his mouth, then shuffled a few pieces of sheet music around in his hands. He looked back at Ben.
"Does it matter, Ren?" he dared ask.
Ben positively scowled at the other man, but instead of saying anything more, he slammed his organ shoes into a bag, shoved the remainder of his music into his satchel, and then left.
Hux watched him go and started to reach into his pocket for his pack of cigarettes. He realized his hands were shaking, gave up, and sat down heavily on the bench of the organ.
How in hell had he gotten into this mess, Hux asked himself. He'd never even composed for the bloody organ before.
Next time someone in the leadership of this stupid university decided they needed to have a fundraising concert with a world famous musician, he was going to tell them to hire outside talent. Then he would tell them to get permission from Hal Leonard for their stupid arrangements.
Then he'd make sure he was on sabbatical for the entire debacle, or he'd go jump in the stupid river himself.
"Mom."
Leia wasn't sure when her son's whining had grown so endearing, but it must have at some point because she wasn't even trying to get him to be quiet. Instead, she was floating along from one clump of people to the next, making small talk and encouraging noises about donations to the university while Ben followed behind her like the people-shy stray dog he was. His preview of the concert had gone well on the small console in her home - the console he'd learned on as a young boy - and she was going to take full advantage of it.
"Ben, have you met the Humpernicholls?" she asked, earning a stifled groan and glare from her son before he pasted a tight smile on his face and greeted the older couple. "They are great music enthusiasts and patrons of the arts here. They're considering how much they can give for the renovations to the east wing of the music building. They've been following your career since you were knee-high."
The bland couple wearing their best Lord & Taylor started in on their great plans and it was all Ben could do not to bolt.
"We'd actually like to dedicate the new wing -"
"It's not a new wing, dear -"
"New enough. Anyway, we'd like to dedicate it in your honor. Several of our friends are organ enthusiasts and we thought a fund, so they could be part of the project, would be just the thing…"
Leia stood back, gratified that her son was behaving himself and actually schmoozing. Confident he wouldn't mess this up for her or the university, she was just starting to eye the bar again when she felt his hand at her elbow, gripping it tightly. She suppressed a laugh and caught the glint in his eye.
If I have to suffer this, so do you, it read clearly. She raised a brow at him and then motioned across the room to one of the students working the bar. The girl caught her signal and lifted a tumbler and the good scotch. Leia gave her a curt nod and turned her attention back to the Humpernicholls. In seconds, there was a student in the catering company's signature black dress pants and white button down, pressing a tumbler with two fingers' worth of scotch in it into her hand.
Leia turned her head slightly to thank the student and felt Ben let go of her elbow. The student went ramrod straight and Leia took her in. A smile broke across her face.
"Rey! I haven't seen you in ages. How are you? Oh, have you ever met Ben?"
Rey was stiff as a board, her eyes wide, and Leia had a sinking feeling. She kept the smile on her face and faked it anyway. "Clearly you have," she supplied in a teasing tone. Rey seemed to shake herself out of it and Leia hesitated to turn around and see what the expression on her son's face was.
"We...met." Rey's voice was this side of strangled.
"I see you were planning on being here all along," came Ben's deep voice from over Leia's shoulder.
Leia began to feel thoroughly confused. "Wonderful, so you know each other," she said. "Why don't I just…"
The hand at her elbow was back and the grip was tighter than ever. Then the Humpernicholls stepped in and saved the day.
"Rey?"
"As in Rey Smith, the substitute organist for the duet that's premiering tomorrow evening?"
Leia felt all astonishment and glanced from Rey, to the couple, to her son, and back again.
"I'm missing something," she said. Ben looked at her smugly and her sinking feeling multiplied.
"So Uncle Luke didn't tell you that Mitaka came down with the flu and Miss Rey is his substitute?"
"I'm just the president," Leia offered as cheerfully as possible. She lifted her glass. "Better finding out late than never."
The Humpernicholls laughed and Leia added a fiercely whispered aside to her son. "You're staying after and I am going to hear all about this."
"Suits me," Ben bit out, then turned back to the older couple, all smiles once again.
Rey looked from one to the other, chin tucked in a fit of nerves and eyes darting this way and that. Leia smoothly moved to her other side - after firmly shaking Ben's hand off her elbow - and brought her forward some. She kept a hand at her back, running it up and down in a soothing motion.
"Rey is one of our university's more talented musicians, although it's more of a hobby for her. What are you majoring in again, dear?"
"Engineering and Environmental Science," she replied and Leia felt the girl beginning to relax some. She rested her hand on one of Rey's shoulders and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
"There. It just proves how valuable the arts and music, especially, is here at our university. When we can have students in completely unrelated majors - hard working students like Rey, here, or any of the students who are helping to cater tonight - come together for a performance the way she has, and even excel at it…"
"Oh, I see exactly what you're saying," gushed Mrs. Humpernicholl.
Leia continued to schmooze on behalf of Rey and Ben and the entirety of the university's performing arts studies, giving Ben just the out he was looking for to take Rey away from the crowd and pick her brain.
Rey allowed herself to be dragged only so far - an alcove in the main hallway, toward the back of the house - and then she yanked her arm from his grasp.
"I'm here to work, thank you very much."
"And I'm here to be served," Ben replied snidely. Rey wrinkled her nose.
"You're disgusting."
"And yet we played that organ like we were made for it," he hissed, ready for a good fight. "So imagine my surprise when I find out that not only are you not taking lessons, you're not even some kind of arts major! You're in the fucking engineering department and are some kind of hippy-dippy tree-hugger!"
"And you're an ambitious, self-absorbed prick who can't stand that maybe someone doesn't have to dedicate her whole life to an instrument in order to be able to use the gifts God gave her!"
Ben pinched his lips together and stared at her, his chest heaving with the effort of not yelling at her the way he wanted to, of not…
"You need a teacher," he finally said, his lips working as if the words were distasteful.
Rey would've reared back, but there was no where to go in the small space. She settled for poking a finger into his chest.
"You need to let this go."
"Why?" he argued. "I don't care if it's my uncle, or the chapel choir director, or, or…"
"Or you?" Rey supplied accusingly.
Ben shook his head stubbornly.
"Or the man on the fucking moon!" he nearly shouted. "You just can't let something like this -" He grabbed her hands and held them up, practically shaking them in her face. " - go to waste working on environmentally friendly energy sources, or whatever the fuck it is you're hoping to do with your stupid double major! You are so talented, more talented than I ever would have been without the hours I spent in practice. Why can't you see that?"
"Talent doesn't feed mouths!" Rey exclaimed, snatching her hands away from him as if his touch burned her. "Talent doesn't pay the bills, or put a roof over your head, or, or…"
"It can. When you have it like you and I do, it can buy you a house, a car, a full pantry. It can buy you anything you desire. It can buy you...an island, for God's sake!"
"Stop! Just...stop!" Rey's voice dissolved into tears and Ben stood back suddenly, awkwardly. He hadn't meant to make her cry. He hadn't meant to...but ever since that afternoon, when they'd first played and she'd looked right at him and he'd known a sense of belonging he'd never felt before, sitting at his instrument with another person on the bench beside him, he hadn't been able to think of anything else.
And when she'd tumbled from the bench and he'd caught her and helped her back up and she'd practically been shaking with how nervous she was, but she'd still played so beautifully…
And if he was really being honest with himself, the moment he'd seen the joy on her face at playing fucking Lloyd Webber and he'd recognized her as the woman from the quad earlier...he knew he needed her, or something, someone, like her in his life.
He just wasn't sure what that meant...and now he was mucking the whole thing up.
He stepped further away from her and shuffled through his pockets. Finding what he was looking for, he offered Rey a handkerchief. She looked at him through her fingers and then lowered her hands before tentatively reaching forward and taking the scrap of fabric from him.
"A handkerchief?" she murmured in disbelief and Ben shrugged.
"Please accept my apology, Miss Rey," he replied. "This was…"
"Rude?"
He allowed a something that might have been a sad smile. "I'm sorry."
Rey seemed to steel herself against something - maybe her emotions - and shook her head. "Never mind. Let's just get through this weekend and we don't have to see each other ever again."
He mumbled something that might have been agreement. Rey gave the handkerchief back to him, unused, and wiped her hands along her cheeks. Then she offered him a tremulous smile of her own and was gone.
Ben felt the something in his chest constrict again and found his eyes drawn to a picture sitting on one of the shelves of the alcove they'd been in: himself astride his father's shoulders, small arms stretched up to a shower of golden-orange leaves.
Leia found him still standing there forty minutes later as the party was winding down, nursing his own glass of scotch. She settled in beside him and bumped shoulders with him as best she could, from her height. He glanced down at her, expression glassy.
"What number?" she asked, a little surprised.
Ben knew exactly what she meant and lifted his glass to observe it and try to think.
"Five?" he wondered.
Leia sighed and took the glass from him. She set it down on a passing student's tray and then linked arms with her son. "Walk with me."
Ben went with his mother. His gait was stiff and his mouth felt even stiffer under the weight of all the words he wanted to say to her, but couldn't.
"You know your father would be so proud of you right now?" she murmured, drawing closer to him.
He raked a hand up through his hair and tugged on the ends harshly before letting his hand fall.
"I know," he said and his voice was hoarse.
Leia looked up and out the screen door they'd come to. There was a nip in the air and she thought it would probably do her drunk son a world of good. Pushing the door open, she stepped out and drew him alongside her. He stumbled a little over the sill of the door, but came to a stop as the bracing air hit his face. She watched him close his eyes and breathe deeply. Then she let the other shoe fall.
"But what he'd really want to know - and so do I - are you happy, Ben?"
Ben opened his eyes and stared up at the clear, star-filled sky. Instead of replying, he asked about the girl - the woman - and Leia knew the answer to her question was no.
"How do you know Rey Smith?"
Leia smiled a little and stared up at the sky with him. "Oh, Rey joined us about two years ago. She was a transfer from a community college out in the mid-west. She was majoring in...engineering and music education, I believe?"
Ben snorted and Leia ignored him.
"Luke was over the moon about her. Said she had more talent in her pinky toe than you did in your whole foot."
"He always was mixing up his metaphors," Ben sighed. Leia grinned a little.
"But why don't you ask me what you really want to know?" she asked softly, gently. Ben looked down at her, his face half-lit by the porchlight.
"All right," he said smoothly, far more smoothly than he should have for being half-drunk. Leia wondered suddenly and tried to stamp out the curl of hope that filled her stomach. She waited for the rest of his thought patiently.
A brisk breeze kicked up some of the leaves across the yard and Leia sighed a little. The cool wind felt good against her drunkenly heated skin. Ben did the same and she smiled a little to herself. He would always be her son. He couldn't escape his heritage, no matter how far he ran.
Oblivious to the sentimental tripe running through his mother's mind, Ben went on and asked the question he really wanted to: "Why did she change majors?"
Leia looked up at him, unsure if he was prepared for the answer she was about to give him.
"Your father," she said simply.
Ben stiffened again and swallowed hard.
"Because...of Dad?" His tone was incredulous as he tried to work out this new puzzle. Then the timeline began to click into place and he had his answer.
"He was close to her," he said and it wasn't a question. Definitely not a question. Leia shrugged.
"Luke brought her into the family. You know your uncle. And Han - your father - I always imagined he saw a little of you in her. The organ, the smarts, the...well. He took to her." She paused, then added gently, "It's hard not to take to her."
Ben let out a strangled laugh and suddenly he was crying and his mother was holding him and everything seemed so pointless, but so poignant and so damned hopeful despite it all.
"I'm sorry, Mom," he sobbed. "I'm so sorry. I should have been here. I always knew I should have been here. The minute you called me I should have come home and I didn't and I'm so fucking sorry!"
"Oh, Ben."
The tone of her voice made him cry harder and it was just the two of them, wrapped in old memories and making a new one until the crash of dishes from inside the house startled them from their reverie.
They stood together under the stars quietly for a few minutes, Ben hastily wiping at his face with the handkerchief Rey had rejected and his mother rubbing her hand along his back in the same soothing motion she'd bestowed upon Rey earlier that evening.
"I have a hard touring schedule this season," Ben finally said, his voice scratchy and thick with tears.
Leia nodded. "I know, Ben. And I am so thankful you took the time to come back home. I really am. Not just for the concert, but for any kind of visit, if you ever want -"
He interrupted her. "That's what I'm trying to say."
Leia looked at him, puzzled. He gave a noisy sigh and the words came out in a rush.
"I mean...I won't have time for a while, but maybe...maybe I can squeeze in another trip home, if you'll have me."
Leia stared at him wordlessly. She'd prayed for her son, for this moment, for so long. Now that it was here, she realized she was completely out of words. Out of words, but not out of actions.
She hugged him suddenly, tightly, and continued to smooth one hand down his back. She heard him catch his breath and after a few seconds of inaction on his part, she felt his arms go around her and then he was curling over her and hugging her back as if his life depended on it.
And so, perhaps, it did.
The first concert went off without a hitch and the premier of Hux's arrangement of the Phantom medley helped the performers to draw the standing ovation for which the composer had hoped.
Unfortunately for Ben - or perhaps fortunately for everyone involved - Rey ran off almost as soon as the bows had been taken. There was no more chance for apology, no opportunity for brushing fingers, for making innocent conversation that might lead to more someday.
The pressure constricting Ben's heart was almost growing too much to bear and it was with relief that he found Rey alone at the organ console the next afternoon. She was clearly preparing for the second concert that was just two short hours away and he allowed her the space for a few minutes. He found he was content to just listen - not even announcing himself - and enjoyed the sight of a musician coming home to her instrument after months, no, years, away.
In truth, she'd come to the chapel hoping to find him, but she would never tell him that. She wasn't about to admit that hearing him play his solo pieces yesterday had shaken her, that something in the way his hands and feet moved over the beautiful instrument called to her and she'd felt it so deeply that she'd gone back to her dorm and spent half the night crying into her pillow. That she hadn't even been able to share her feelings with Finn because he had no idea how she was being torn in two, how this stranger had swept into her life two days ago and upended all her careful plans for herself, for her future, just by playing a stupid instrument. Just by being his stupid self, with his stupid face and stupid hair and stupid, stupid, stupid -
"Are you practicing, or attempting to murder the organ?"
Rey's hands crashed down on the manuals in a cacophony and she snapped her head around to see him sitting nearby, hands folded neatly in his lap, expression a mixture of amusement, contrition, and outright desire.
It made her angry to see her own emotions reflected so clearly in his face and she swung her legs around the bench, ready to tear the shoes off her feet and just get away from him.
"I was just fooling around," she growled. "You can have it. Don't worry, I'm just an amateur. I know my place."
There was an exasperated sound to her left and she looked up to see he'd gotten up and was standing right next to her now. He put his hands over hers, stilling them, and she gave a start.
"I would never…" he paused and tried again. "You are not an amateur. A little untrained, but never an amateur. Not with a talent like yours."
Rey's eyes grew wide at the tenderness in his tone and she tried to move away from him.
"Why are you doing this? I'm no-one."
"No. Never that," he replied vehemently and Rey frowned, trying to fight the wave of emotion she felt at someone so powerful, so sure of his place in the world, treating her like she was somebody.
"I'm sorry," he continued when she didn't respond. "I'm a little out of...practice, if you will. Dealing with people has never been my forte."
He smirked a little at his own musician's pun and Rey felt her lips curl up automatically in response, even while she let out a soft groan.
"Sorry," he repeated and Rey shook her head.
"You come by it honestly," she replied and Ben knew she was thinking of his father. Instead of following that line of thought, he decided to keep the conversation light. If he was right, if he did this well enough, there would be time for the serious conversations.
"The terrible humor or the dealing with people?" he queried instead, his heart in his throat as he aimed for adequately light-hearted.
"Both," she shot back and was gratified to see him smile. Butterflies erupted in her stomach and she shifted away from him, suddenly nervous again.
"I...I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your performance," she said in a rush and Ben was reminded of his own nerves from the night of the reception.
"Thank you," he replied, taking the compliment at its face value. Ordinarily he would have shrugged it off, claiming superiority by the baseness of the arrangements and selections on the program. But he felt sure that would have ruined this moment with this woman and he didn't want to ruin any other moments, if he could help it.
Rey eyed him suspiciously, as if she knew what he was thinking, or was uncertain of this sudden change of character.
"Why are you doing this?" she repeated softly and Ben huffed a little before walking around her to sit on the organ bench. He reached down and drew off his shoes slowly, almost thoughtfully, in order to put on his organ shoes.
Rey felt the butterflies multiply as she waited on his response until they made her feel positively lightheaded. Until her feet didn't know what to do with themselves, she'd shifted her weight so many times. Finally he looked up at her.
"I don't want you to be afraid of me," he murmured and damn him, but Rey could only see his lips and those hands, she felt so blinded and out of sorts.
"I'm not afraid," she argued, although she wasn't entirely sure what he meant in the first place.
"It's ok to admit it," he replied. "I feel it too."
"Feel what?" she asked, breathless. Now her lips were dry and her heart was beating too fast. She tangled her fingers in themselves and leaned toward him just a little, the organ bench pressing into the very tops of her thighs.
He gazed at her very seriously for a moment and she stared right back and it was as if a strange electricity crackled and filled the air surrounding them. Then he was leaning towards her in return and that dark hair was swinging forward, brushing his collar, brushing his cheeks, and those dark eyes were fluttering closed and she barely heard his final response before their lips met.
"Playing with you. It's like coming home."
Rey Smith, orphan. Rey Smith, girl who crushed on a brave military pilot once upon a time. Rey Smith, who picked up the organ, of all instruments. Rey Smith, who wanted only to learn to do something useful. Rey Smith, whose heart was broken by losing the first father figure she could remember. Rey Smith, who'd lost her music...and then regained it.
Rey Smith, who helped Ben Solo come home.
Rey Smith, who helped Ben realize he was Raoul when he'd felt like the Phantom for so long.
Ben wasn't sure how he'd ever survived before he'd met her. He never had to question how she'd survived, that much was obvious. It was himself that was the puzzling part of their equation. The unknown. Fortunately, Rey had a mind for impossible equations and fixing broken things.
Rey didn't change her majors, but she did perform with her husband regularly. It was years before she agreed to marry him - she was still young when they met, after all. Finn and Bea and Poe were at the wedding, and Armitage Hux, and so was Doctor Luke, and President Leia, of course.
Then one day, many years after that first performance, long after the university's music department had grown tenfold due to a successful partnership with Kylo Ren leading the helm of a new performance program, President Organa-Solo's home was blessed once more with young voices and eager hands and smiling faces. As she observed her beautiful grandchildren and their beautiful parents, her heart was full and her spirit was content.
Not bad for a small-town university, she mused. Her glance fell on a familiar picture - her son riding her husband's shoulders, surround by falling leaves.
Not bad for a long ago dream of family. Not bad at all.
Fluff!
