***IT'S HERE!!! The sequel to screaming lessons is HERE!!! YAY DANCING LESSONS!!! (Or 'How to Enhance Your Dancing in 6 Simple Steps.' Same Fic…)***
(Idol Tour Bus. Danny and Adam are hanging out after a show.)
Danny: I just don't get it.
Adam: What?
Danny: Whenever I dance at a show, people shield their eyes and boo me…
Adam: Well…
Danny: Don't deny it.
Adam: Crap…
Danny: Then when YOU dance…
Adam: Don't give me details. I SEE the things that fans throw onstage.
(Silence.)
Danny: So how many bras do you have now?
Adam: I don't exactly know. I lost count at 57.
(Allison walks in.)
Allison: Hey, guys. Adam? Can I borrow a bra?
Adam: Yeah, sure.
Allison: Thanks.
(Katy bursts into the room.)
Katy: I KNEW IT! Those bitches…
Allison: I TOLD you…
Danny: What?
Allison: Well, Katy had a…theory…
Katy: FANGIRLS ARE GIVING YOU BRAS!
Adam: So? Why do you care?
Katy: BECAUSE I DIDN'T THINK OF IT FIRST!
(Katy throws a bra on Adam's bed then slams the door and leaves.)
Danny: Did you make sure she got her medication today?
Allison: What medication? Oh, I get it… Whatever. So what'cha guys talking about?
Danny: Yes I can!
(Allison laughs.)
Allison: Let's just say, if we had a crappy dancing contest, we all know who would win…
Danny: Bitch! There's no way in hell I'd win!
Allison: Danny's right.
Adam: Oh my Gokey!
Allison: Danny wouldn't JUST win, he'd win HANDS DOWN!
(Adam and Allison laugh.)
Danny: Oh fuck you both.
Allison: Now if it was a SEXY dancing contest…
Adam: I would win!
Allison: No you retard! That guy from America's Got Talent would win!
Adam: Bitch!
Katy: (from outside of room) DID SOMEBODY CALL ME?
Danny: Oh! Allie! You watch AGT?
Allison: No. Katy watches it, and I just saw a really cute guy on it!
Adam: David Hasselhoff?
Allison: No! Some dude named Hair-o or something…
Danny: Oh! Hairo Torres! I love him!
Adam: You do NOT know how gay that just sounded.
Danny: Coming from you, I really don't know how to take that.
Allison: From him, MAJOR compliment!
(Awkward silence.)
Danny: So how am I gonna make my dancing better?
Allison: Hey, do you remember that one time when Adam taught you how to scream?
Danny: NO! That was pure TORTURE!
Adam: That was fun!
Allison: I was thinking…
Danny: Oh, crap. She's THINKING!
Allison: Maybe Hair-o should teach you how to dance!
Danny: And how do we, hmm, I don't know, GET IN TOUCH with this guy! He's busy with America's Got Talent!
Allison: Well, we could talk to Angel and Caylee.
Danny: You mean that crazy obsessed fan girl who gave me crack, broke my heart, and ran off with that other guy?
Adam: (sarcastic) No, the other girls! Ugh…but if they know Hair-o…wait. How do they know Hair-o?
Allison: Katy gave Caylee two tickets and backstage passes to America's Got Talent. They were her "Sorry I tried to murder you" gift.
Danny: But why the hell would Katy say sorry? She didn't apologize for killing Sophia?
Allison: Apparently, she's changed.
Adam: I'm confuzzled.
Allison: She heard a rumor that Adam likes nice girls!
Adam: Shit.
(Silence.)
Danny: So, I say we call the crazy girls, get them to contact Hairo, then have him teach me how to dance so I don't suck anymore!
Allison: It's a plan.
Adam: I'll call Caylee.
Allison: And WHY do you have Caylee's number?
Adam: I'm not a stalker! She's my dealer.
Danny: THAT CRAZY GIRL SELLS YOU CRACK?
Adam: No! I was kidding, dumbass! I'm still not a stalker though!
Danny: Speaking of your crack dealer, I thought he had swine flu.
Adam: He sadly passed. POOR JORGEY! DAMN YOU MASS TRANSIT!
Danny: Oh. Mass transit?
Allison: Your crack dealer's name was Whore-Gay?
Adam: Yes. When he fully recovered from swine flu, he was let out of the hospital. On his way to the subway, he was RAN OVER BY A SUBWAY! OH WHY WHY WHY!
Danny: No comment.
Allison: Whore-Gay! Oh, god, the NAMES some people have!
