A/N: Saw this pairing on deviantart and felt like writing a fic randomly about them mkay?


Patty had been watching her for a while, seeing her attend social events alone—all dressed up with somewhere to go, but nobody to go with. Ever since Ms. Krabappel and Principal Skinner had broken up, she was once again all alone. And it wasn't just a normal "alone"; the woman was clearly getting more desperate. But it wasn't a pathetic sort of desperate; at least that is not how Patty saw it. She could tell that behind that desperation, there was a very worn down woman—one who had a lot of pain behind her and inside her now. Patty wished she could do something to make sure Edna did not have any more pain ahead of her, either.

"You're watching her again," Selma muttered to her sister as they sat at a table at the back of the room. They were at a dinner theatre or something or another. Patty didn't remember, nor did she really care. They only came to events out of boredom or because Selma was hoping she would find a man.

Patty grunted. "I can't help it. Just look at her, Selma. She looks so sad and lonely…"

"And beautiful," Selma finished for her.

"I didn't say that."

"But you were thinking it. I can see you ogling over there," her twin chuckled. "Why don't you go talk to her?"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I'm old and ugly; she's young and good looking."

"Patty, we are not that much older than she is, and you are beautiful. Now go talk to her before I have to push you over there."

Patty gulped and stood up, walking over to where Edna was sitting along with Ms. Hoover. Elizabeth noticed Patty first and nudged Edna. She looked up, confused. "Can I help you?"

"Hello, Edna," Patty said, feeling embarrassed and awkward suddenly. "I just wanted to talk, I guess…" She was going to kill Selma if this ended badly.

"Hello," Edna offered a smile. "Patty, isn't it?" She knew she was one of Marge's sisters, but she mixed them up sometimes. When Patty nodded, Edna offered the seat across from her.

After an awkward silence, Elizabeth told Edna she was going to get them drinks, leaving her alone with Patty. "So…" Edna tried to think of something to say. This was strange for her; she did not really know Patty and had no idea why she had wanted to talk to her.

"Look, I'm just going to cut to the chase because I am no good at casual conversation," Patty said. "I've been watching you for a while. I can see that you are broken, you're lonely…I want to help you."

Edna was a little freaked out that Patty had been "watching" her, but she was still confused. "That's very kind of you, Patty, but I don't see what you could do to help me…" she chuckled a little. She felt she was broken beyond repair.

"You only get one chance with Edna Krabappel," Patty continued, feeling her heart race a bit, "and I would like my chance."

Edna suddenly understood and felt her face blush. "I…"

"Look, I know you don't know me that well, and you probably think I'm really weird for coming over here like this, but…" She glanced over at her twin helplessly and then buried her face in her hands. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come over here. I'll leave." She started to get up, but Edna stopped her.

"No, wait." Edna had been thinking. The woman obviously did care about her; she wanted to help her. Why should she turn her down? What would it hurt to give her a chance? It was easy to turn men down, but there was something about Patty that made her unable to turn her down. She calmly wrote her number down on her napkin and slid it over to Patty. "Call me." Seeing Patty's face light up, she smiled a little. "Just don't tell anyone about this."

Patty nodded. "Nobody will know but you and me…and Selma," she added.

Edna shrugged. "Eh, alright. Now go on," she waved her hand away. She would rather not Elizabeth see them talking in this manner.

Patty grinned and nearly skipped back over to her table, she was so happy.

At another table, Homer and Marge sat. Homer was resting his face on his hand, bored. "Marge, can't we go home soon?"

"Homer, we just got here fifteen minutes ago," Marge replied. "Hey, I wonder what Patty was doing over by Ms. Krabappel?" She had noticed her older sister talking with Edna, and she was curious as to why, but didn't want to pry. It just seemed strange.

"Who knows? Patty is a lesbian, you know," Homer moved his index finger in a circular motion, pointing at his head.

"She's a lesbian; that doesn't mean she's crazy. Stop it, Homer," Marge pursed her lips.

Patty had refused to release any details to her sister until they were in their car afterwards.


"Tell me!" Selma insisted as she drove them home. She knew it was good news from the way her sister was grinning from ear to ear.

"There isn't much to tell, but I got her phone number," she presented the napkin.

Selma snatched the napkin from her sister, viewing it. "Nice handwriting," she muttered.

"Selma, watch the road, would you?" Patty took back the napkin and folded it carefully, placing it inside her purse.

After a little silence, Selma smiled. "I'm happy for you, sis."

"Thanks." Patty did not know where this would go, but she was glad to know she was going to get her chance with Edna. She would have to be careful, though. She did not want to blow it.

She did not want to call her too early, but she also did not want to call her too late so she waited two days, and then called the woman in the late afternoon.

"Hello?" Edna answered.

"Hello, Edna. This is Patty."

"Hello, Patty."

Patty could see her twin sister out of the corner of her eye staring at her with a huge grin. "Selma, stop it!" she barked, and then suddenly getting embarrassed, said to Edna, "I am so sorry about that!"

"No need to be sorry," Edna laughed. "You act as if I'm some sort of queen you're humbling before."

"You kind of are." The words came out of Patty's mouth before she could stop them. I have got to stop being so blunt, Patty thought to herself, mentally hitting her hand to her head.

However, it flattered Edna. "I am?" Patty could not see, of course, but Edna was blushing a little. She had never been flattered by a woman before, but Patty was off to a good start. She didn't even know if this was a good idea or not in the first place, but what could it hurt? All the men had failed her so maybe it was time to try women. She never knew herself to be attracted to women, but the way Patty was so interested in her kind of excited her.

"Mhm. You're just so beautiful and sad, and I want to make you happy." There they went again—words spilling out before she could stop them.

Edna smiled. "You are so sweet. Why don't you come over to my apartment, and we can talk some more?"

"I would like that."

"Come to 82 Evergreen Terrace around seven. We can have dinner. Mind you, it won't be much."

Once they hung up, Patty let out an unintentional squeal, making Selma laugh. "I don't believe I've ever heard that sound come from you."

"Sorry," her sister blushed. "I'm just so excited. I have a date with Edna Krabappel! What do I wear?"

"You only have one nice dress," Selma shrugged. "But you're just going over to her apartment, Patty. Do you really need to dress up?"

"Yes. I must. Everything has to be perfect. If I blow this one chance, I blow everything!" Patty started pacing around the living room, muttering to herself. "Do I offer her my smokes? No…everyone has their own preferences. What about something to drink? Aha!" She suddenly started rummaging for her wallet.

"Patty, what are you doing?" Selma raised her eyes, confused.

"Going to the store! Be back soon!" The woman ran out the door.

Selma sighed and leaned back in her arm chair. She hardly understood why Patty wanted to make everything perfect for Edna. She liked to be the receiver herself. But she guessed she couldn't see Edna being the one to offer much so she supposed someone had to do it. Selma didn't want to admit it, but she was a bit jealous. She always got jealous when Patty found someone, even though it had not been many times it had happened. It was usually Selma who found someone, but it always ended badly.


Upon arriving at Edna's apartment, Patty was invited in. "Here," she presented the bottle she had brought. By the surprised look on Edna's face, she figured she had blown it already. Good job, Patty. She probably thinks you're out of line, bringing this on a first date.

However, to her surprise, Edna swiped it out of her hands. "Wow, that's expensive! Give it here." She blushed a little at her outburst and set the bottle down with a little laugh. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

There was another one of those awkward silences, and Edna said, "You are certainly dressed up for this little dinner date."

"I could say the same for you," Patty couldn't help but grin. Edna said such a thing about Patty, yet she was wearing quite a revealing dress. "You look really nice," she said honestly.

"Well, thank you. So do you. Please, sit down." Patty obeyed and sat down at her little card table. "I'm sorry I don't have fancy food." She set a TV dinner in front of Patty.

She smiled. "This is just fine, Edna. There is no need for you to apologize. Food is food. I am just so honoured to be here at all."

Edna blushed a little and sat down across from her. They ate in silence for a few moments before she picked up the bottle and asked, "Would you like some wine with your microwave dinner?" Edna laughed, feeling a bit pathetic.

"A bit, I suppose," Patty replied. As she watched Edna pour, her eyes widened. "That's enough!"

"Sorry, force of habit."

"You drink often?"

"With just about every dinner," she laughed again, but then sighed. "Oh, I'm so pathetic."

"You are not," Patty answered her quickly. "You have just been through a lot."

"Yeah. I have. Man after man, failure after failure…Now look at me—I'm dining with a woman. Ha!" Patty shifted a bit uncomfortably. "Ah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. It's just...I never thought that I would be in this situation."

"I understand. I know it is different. Kind of like when I went out with Principal Skinner. Now that was different!" Patty laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

"Ha! Poor Seymour. How did that even happen?"

"Well, he was set up with Selma, but he took more of a liking to me. Boy, was Selma mad…"

They continued to chat, and Edna continued to drink—though for once not out of sadness. Patty did not drink much; she mostly watched Edna. It amused her watching her loosen up and become more flirtatious.

"You know, there's something about you I find so sincere, Patty. All of the guys I've been with just didn't seem sincere. Well, Seymour did, but he was no good at commitment!"

"Strange; he was in quite a hurry to ask me to marry him," Patty muttered.

"Are you serious?" Edna asked.

"Yeah, we'd hardly been dating, and he presents this expensive stone!"

Edna suddenly burst into tears and went over to the couch, carrying the bottle with her.

Patty's eyes widened. "That was not the right thing to say, Patty!" she scolded herself. She rushed over to Edna and sat beside her, patting her back. "There, there. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"It's not your fault," Edna sighed, continuing to cry quietly. Patty glanced at the bottle, seeing a great deal was gone and gently took it from Edna, putting it on the kitchen counter. She came back over and continued rubbing the woman's back, trying to console her.

Finally, in desperate attempt to cheer her up, she started singing, "Grey skies are gonna clear up, put on a happy face…"

Edna started laughing after a moment. She sat up and smiled as Patty continued singing. She was touched. She'd never had someone cheer her up in such a way. "Less singing, more kissing," She grinned, pulling Patty close suddenly, kissing her.

Patty was so surprised, but she was not going to let this chance go. Tipsy or not, Edna was kissing her, and she was going to make the most of it. Patty leaned in further, kissing her back. Edna kissed Patty more strongly, forcing her onto her back, causing Patty to moan a little. She couldn't believe this was happening. Even if this did not work out in the end, it would all have been worth this one moment.


"Hello? Oh, hi Marge," Selma said when she answered the phone.

"Hi. I didn't want to pry, but I'm just curious…What was Patty doing talking with Ms. Krabappel the other night? I didn't even think they knew each other."

Selma sighed. "Well, I wasn't supposed to tell anyone, but Patty has had feelings for her for a while and confessed to her that night. She's at her apartment tonight having dinner, actually."

Marge was a little surprised. "Wow, really? Edna? Patty?" She could not think of anything intelligent to say at the moment.

"Yes. I am quite happy for her," Selma said, though she was really burning with jealousy. It was getting rather late, and her sister was still out with her date while she was stuck at home with nothing but MacGyver reruns.

"Aw, Selma," Marge said sympathetically. "You'll find someone some day."

"I said I was quite happy for her," she repeated herself gruffly. "Anyway, she's been gone for three hours now. I'm getting a little worried."

"Oh, my! Must have turned out to be a good date!" Marge laughed, but then stopped and said, "I'm sure she'll be home soon, Selma. Try not to worry! I'm so happy for Patty, though! It's so exciting! Never would have suspected Edna would go for that, but hey!"


"My word! This is the most interesting I've heard in a while!"

"Mom, are you listening to phone conversations again?"

Mrs. Lovejoy squeaked, having been startled by her daughter's voice. "Of course not!"

Jessica Lovejoy simply rolled her eyes and left the room. She knew what her mother did. How else did she know half the secrets of people in town? Gossip didn't just travel to her, she found it herself.

"Don't lie, Helen," her husband said, walking into the kitchen and sighing. "I told you to stop doing that. It's not even legal!"

"I can't help it," Helen said simply. She suddenly reached for the telephone and started dialing the first person that came to her mind. She froze, however, when Timothy's hand touched her own.

"Helen," he said calmly.

"But I just have to tell someone! Patty Bouvier is at Edna Krabappel's apartment on a date! She's been there for three hours! Three hours, Timothy! What if they're kissing or something? Oh, the scandal!" She went on dramatically.

Reverend Lovejoy's jaw dropped. "My God. Don't spread this shameful gossip, Helen. Just pretend you did not hear it."


Meanwhile, back at Edna's apartment, both women were relaxing against the couch with their freshly lit cigarettes. "Wow," Edna breathed.

"Wow, is right," Patty marveled.

Edna slid her hand down Patty's thigh to her knee, resting it there, causing Patty to shiver pleasantly. "Glad I shaved," Patty said with a laugh.

Edna chuckled. "I think I like this secret love affair idea. I like the mischievous feeling."

"I don't get why it has to be secret…" Patty did understand a bit, but she didn't like it too much. "Are you ashamed of me?"

"No, no, that is not it at all…I just…I'm not ready to let it be known yet."

"Alright," Patty smiled. "Anything to make you happy. That was my intention from the beginning—to help heal what the cruel world has destroyed. I want to make you whole again."

Edna blushed a little. "I don't know if I'm fixable, but you certainly put a smile on my face."

"Good." Patty kissed Edna's cheek and then glanced at the clock. "Holy smokes! It's late. I should get home. Selma is probably going nuts."

"You and your sister are really close, huh?"

"Of course. We're twins," Patty smiled. They kissed once more, briefly, before Patty made her way back home.


Once Patty got home, she slipped inside the apartment quietly, figuring Selma would be asleep at this hour, but she was wrong. She found Selma sitting up, still in her chair, watching MacGyver. She held one cigarette and beside her were two empty cartons. "It's about time you showed up."

"I'm sorry. It turned out to be a really good night." Patty smiled.

"Clearly," Selma said simply, putting out her cigarette.

"Selma…" Patty started to say, but she was interrupted.

"Be careful with her, sis. You know how she's been with other men. Her relationships don't normally last long."

"First off, I'm not a man. It's different."

"Is it really any different?"

"And secondly, it is not her fault. She is the victim, not the other way around."

"I'm just worried for you, sis."

"No, you're not. You're only jealous." Selma blushed and fidgeted a little. Her sister knew her like a book. "And to think, you are the one who wanted me to go talk to her."

Selma sighed as her sister left the room. She really did want Patty to be happy; she couldn't explain why she got so jealous at times like these. She was just so tired of being single.


Edna and Patty continued seeing each other in secret, or so they thought. In actuality, the whole town was slowly starting to find out about the lovers.

Bart, naturally, was the first one to taunt his teacher about the matter. He walked over to her desk upon walking to class one morning and said, "Come on, Edna, you can do better than my Aunt Patty."

Edna felt her face turn pale. "How did you know about that?" she whispered urgently.

"Oh, please, Ms. K, the whole town knows!" The boy laughed as he walked to his seat.


And that proved to be true the following Sunday at church. Sitting in the service, she felt everyone was staring at her and judging her. She even saw a few people look at her and shake their heads. After a while, all she could comprehend of the sermon was the repeated words "sinner" and "damned" and "Hell" and she felt as if the reverend were directing towards her the whole time. She even saw his glances at her from time to time.

Without thinking, she jumped up and said, "Alright! I don't know how everyone knows about Patty and I," she shot a glare at Ms. Lovejoy—who only smiled—figuring she was the culprit, "but I do not see what the big deal is. Nobody can help who they love."

Everyone was quite shocked that Edna had interrupted service, but nobody was as appalled as the reverend. However, he merely pursed his lips and sighed, sitting down to wait until she was finished.

Edna continued. "Patty is a better person than most of you men I have slept with!" She said this shamelessly, though she received many gasps and wide eyes. "She makes me happy. What is wrong with that? I admit, I was surprised, myself, finding I had an interest in another woman, but there is nothing wrong with this…" She walked over to Patty and kissed her to make a point, surprising her and shocking most of the church audience.

"Not in the church," Reverend Lovejoy whispered.

"Think of the children!" his wife screeched.

Ned Flanders was covering Rod and Todd's eyes, and then he spoke up. "I have to disagree with you, Edna, but I am not going to judge you. That's for a vengeful God to do," he copied the words of his late wife with a little smile.

Edna stayed sitting beside Patty now, and said, "You can continue with your sermon on Hell fire and damnation now, Reverend."

"Thank you," he sighed, getting up and returning to the pulpit. "Where was I? Oh yes…Sinners who are not forgiven will be damned…."

As they were walking out of the church, Edna could hear people still talking about her. It seemed her speech was for naught. She overheard Agnes Skinner say to her son, "Seymour, now you've been with two of those lesbians! You need to find yourself a real woman!"

"Mother, it does not make either of them any less of a woman."

"Don't talk back to me! When we get home, you're going to your room!"

"Yes, Mother," Seymour sighed, getting in the car.


Though Edna was trying not to let all the chatter bother her, it worried Patty because she knew it was her fault. She was also starting to notice how down her sister was. She had been a bit blind to it before, so wrapped up in her own happiness, but now she was starting to see. She always left Selma home alone so she was even more lonely than usual. Every time she left to go see Edna, she felt terrible. Selma would tell her it was okay and to go on, but Patty knew it wasn't okay. It broke her heart to see Selma so down.

Patty knew she had a decision to make. She was going to take Edna some place really special; she wanted this to last because this was probably going to be the last place they went together.

She took her to the movies, dancing, and lastly, a fancy restaurant. She used up all of her and Selma's extra money for two months, but she figured it would be worth it.

"Wow, you've really spoiled me tonight," Edna chuckled, smiling brightly.

Her smile was killing Patty. That smile was what was going to make this hard, but she knew what she had to do.

"Yeah, well, I wanted you to have one really special night," Patty replied as she walked Edna to her doorstep.

"Just one?" Edna chuckled, and then her smile faded. "Wait…" She looked to Patty, concerned, as she stopped at her door.

"Edna, when I first saw you, you were broken, and I wanted to fix that, but I'm only making it worse. Everyone is talking about us and seeing you as shameful. It is all my fault."

"Patty, don't worry about that, please," Edna insisted.

"And I started to realize after a while that you remind me a lot of my sister. She's getting older, desperate for a man, had many failed marriages…It's painful for me to even watch, and now I've made it worse. I'm always out with you, and she's at home lonely and jealous of me. It's not fair to her at all. If there's anyone I need to be trying to keep whole, it's her."

"But you can't be a man to her," Edna said, confused.

"No, but I can be a sister to her. Choosing myself over her is selfish, and I can't believe I'm just realizing that now."

Edna sighed. "Well, I admire your dedication to your sister. You seem very close. You're so kind to her, and she's lucky to have you for a sister."

"Actually I've been less than kind to her lately, and I need to go fix that." Patty smiled a little.

"Can I at least get a kiss goodbye?" Edna bit her lip.

Patty chuckled and pinned Edna against her front door, kissing her softly for a few moments. "Goodbye, Edna Krabappel. Thank you for my chance with you."

Edna chuckled a little to herself, watching Patty leave, but then she sighed, going back into her apartment. Alone again, she thought helplessly. What else is new, though, Edna?


When Patty walked in her apartment, she saw Selma lying on the couch, pretending to be asleep. "I know you're not asleep, Selma."

Selma sat up and laughed a little. "How was your big date?"

"It was the most wonderful night of my life."

"I'm happy for you."

"I think you'll be happier to know that I broke up with her."

"What?! Why would you do that? Are you stupid?"

"I suppose I am. I gave up a dream girl for my twin sister because it was killing me to see her so sad and lonesome."

Selma was silent a moment. "You gave up your love again…for me?"

"Yeah," Patty responded simply.

"You are an idiot," Selma shook her head, but the next thing Patty knew, her sister's arms were around her in a tight hug.

Patty smiled and hugged her twin back. "I also spent two months' worth of our money," she said casually.

"Patty!"

"Hey, I did this for you, remember?"

"Idiot," Selma muttered, hugging her tighter.