OWAAA! It's been a month and I'm still alive over here. I haven't updated in forever. I don't know if I should continue Pain and Loss and Demon's in the Snow is officially finished. I don't have the time to write smutty chapter porn for you guys sooo here's a new story about Matt that I wrote in my journal. I'll try to update as much as possible for you guys. Maybe I'll link the story to Pain and Loss, who knows. OH! This story does not have a title yet since it was a spur of the moment when I wasn't doing something in an abandoned house somewhere lol (still all I can say). Give me ideas please D; Contains Snapped!Canada, swears and death in another chapter.

April 30, 2012

There are times like this that make me think, "why am I still here?" It's a hard question to answer. I mean really, when no one even knows your name or if you exist, it makes you want to cease to be. Oh, if you didn't know, my name is Matt. I should be in my classes right now but what's the point? So I'm just going to sit here on the roof and tell you everything about what is Matt.

I'm 5'7", have blonde hair and blue eyes, a boy (obviously), in twelfth grade, and I have a twin brother. Did I mention he can't remember who I am? It's not like everyone ignores him. He's the "Almighty Hero" Alfred. Fucking Alfred. Always walking with the smug look on his face pisses me off. Sometimes I just want to bash his face in, just so I don't have to see it anymore. What? Is that so bad to want to off your twin? It's either kill myself or him. I do have the means for both. Desert Eagle, Berretta, multiple knives. Oh! Maybe leave either of us in the frozen tundra, with no shelter or suitable clothes, kilometres from civilization, just to freeze to death. What a way to go, huh?

Let's see more about me. I was born in Canada. This majestic shit-hole. It's either people fighting about the oil-sands in Alberta, the horrible wait times in hospitals, about something stupid about schools, or how we need a new premier (which we may soon). Ugh elections. Maybe I should just off this country. AND Alfred. Ha. Anyways, back to me. My only prized possession is my white polar bear. It's not actually white; color only has to do with what is only reflected back to us. So in reality, my bear is a mass of ugly color. Eh, I love him anyways. Kumopo? Whatever. Other than "idiot" (Alfred), I do have other family members. More like cousins, who seem like uncles. Francis and Arthur. One only recognizes me because he thinks I have his hair, and the other confuses me with the idiot. Fuck them. Oh I can see it now, if I die, Arthur would flip shit thinking it was "idiot", then "idiot" would come and he would think he was a ghost and flip shit again. That would be amusing to see.

Yes, I do have these tendencies to imagine what it would be like to kill something, someone or myself. Might be because of years of neglect, or cause I just damned well feel like it. I don't need your pity or "sympathy." Hm, the bell rang. Stupid bell ruining the moment. Oh well, it was inevitable to think I could stay up here all day, but they lock the doors when schools over. I guess I'll write more tomorrow.

-Matt