Hi everyone! My name's Lulu. I am starting this fic because I am a HUGE KukaixYaya fan. We need more KuYa fics! Anywaysss, please don't flame, but do give me constructive criticism:) Looking forward to see your review!
Disclaimer: Shugo Chara does not belong to me. (or else I'd have Kukai end up with YayaT_T)
It was years ago that she thought she could desperately hold onto him and bring him back. But in the end, she still failed. He left her all alone.
Yuiki Yaya was a nice girl: cute, preppy, girly. Everyone thinks that she constantly needs attention and will never grow up. But all things are not as they seem. The first time she realized that she was different from others was when she saw the darkness in herself. She wondered why she cried alone in the night, why nobody seemed to understand her, and why she had thoughts of stop existing in this sad, dark world. The babyish front, or even Pepe's existence, are protective layers of her, meant to hide her dark self. She still thinks that Pepe's birth is due to desires to hide her ugly self and to have a facade that people will like. Yaya's depression worsened when Tsubasa came into existence. The tiny part of her that hoped her parents would one day understand her pains shattered. Her parents paid less and less attention to her, since Tsuabasa was still a baby and needed more time devoted to him to be taken care of.
However, everything changed when she was chosen to be a part of the Guardians as the Ace chair in the beginning of third grade. She met him- Souma Kukai. His smile brightened up her world, her heart, her existence. For the first time in nine years of her life, Yaya felt like she could be saved. She desperately clung to him while keeping her darkness bottled inside, still afraid that he would abandon her if he saw the disgusting thoughts she had. Despite her pretense, Yaya believed that Kukai could lead her out of the darkness that seemed to live within her.
That hope also ended as a disappointment. When Kukai left for middle school, Yaya still stubbornly thought at first that nothing will change between them. Kukai will still be warm and welcoming. He will still be her best friend, her only saving grace. But the major barrier formed between their friendship, Utau. Hoshina Utau, or Tsukiyomi Utau is a beauty, model, and idol. She is every teenage girl's role model, and the object of desire of every teenage boy. Kukai, not an average boy, unexpectedly fell in love with Utau and is in a relationship with her. He told Yaya that he loves her competitive spirit and the fact that she lacks many feminine aspects in her personality. These words hurt Yaya and seem to reject everything she was. Her true self, which society rejects, and her pretense, which her best friend rejects. She wanted to be girly and happy for his sake. She wanted to be the the best friend she could be.
"What's wrong, Yaya?" Kukai asks naively, never realizing that he has hurt the fragile girl. He is still embezzled with love and it is easy to see that his mind is drifting back to Utau. When his attention turns back to her after five minutes, he frowns at her bowed head. "Oh right, I nearly forgot to ask you, but how are things going? Are Rikka and Hikaru doing well? Lately I haven't really paid attention to you, huh. Sorry 'bout that." He gives her an apologetic smile, knowing how Yaya loves attention.
"Yaya's okay, you know Kukai." She surprised him by replying calmly, with a smile on her face. He wonders why she didn't throw a tantrum like she usually did when he didn't pay attention to her for days, but quickly dismisses his thoughts at the sight of her smile. Yaya knows that nothing can last forever, but she honestly does not want her relationship with Kukai to become distant. Today is the first day of the last month in her elementary school life, and so she decides to end things with Kukai. She decides to run away for their distance, because she doesn't want to be hurt. He abandoned her for Utau and that is what is important. She is selfish like that and she understands, but hates herself for it. "I guess I still couldn't take it in the end," she mumbles.
"Hmmm. What did you say?" Kukai's looks at the screen of his phone, while typing on the phone's keyboard.
"Nothing~" Yaya says in a sing-song voice. She peeks at his phone and is once again disappointed by the sight of Utau's name. "Ne ne~ Kukai! Walk me home, ok?" Kukai responds by ruffling her hair and they go happily on their way to Yaya's home.
"Bye." He says to her, but she knows they will not see each other in a long long time. She waves at him and his retreating back, while a lone tear falls out of her eye. Goodbye in deed, Kukai, she thinks. She still doesn't realize that the desperate measure she took to get away from him was due to love.
The next day after school in the Guardian's usual place, she is happily greeted by Rikka and nodded to by Hikaru. Yaya waves and thinks what an amazing pair the two will make. Pepe comes out of her bag and waves to Hotaru. Even though Pepe knows Yaya is not what her facade shows her to be, she doesn't know the extent of her depression. She knows that Yaya sends her to her egg every night to avoid something, but doesn't know what exactly Yaya is hiding from her. Pepe vows to help Yaya, but doesn't want to interfere with Yaya's personal business, because she also fears a Yaya that she doesn't know.
After the three of them are all comfortably seated, Yaya begins, "Rikka, Hotaru, I have an announcement to make." Her seriousness attracts both of their attention, since Yaya is almost never serious. Even Pepe and Hotaru stop and look at her. "As you guys know, next year I will be gone, so I am officially going to hand you the job of being the Guardians for next year. From now on, you will be responsible for all the scouting and organizing of the Guardians. As you know, since we couldn't find anyone with Shugo Charas this year, we are the only Guardians. But I am hoping you can find more before the start of next year."
"Wait. What?! But Yaya-senpai! There's still a month until you graduate, shouldn't you help us?" Rikka looks at her, bewildered.
"Of course you'll get help from Amu-chi and Kukai." Yaya smiles, "But Yaya's not going to stay for the graduation." The two second graders' eyes widen at the news Yaya just shared, not noticing her reverting back to referring to herself in third person.
"The where are you going?" Hikaru asks with a raise of his eyebrows.
"Hmmm. Yaya's going to the US! Hahaha! Isn't Yaya the coolest?" Yaya cheers as all the people and shugo charas, including Pepe look at her with shocked expressions. The usually emotionless Hikaru seems to be as equally shaken as Rikka. Yaya placates them both saying that her parents decided it for her and it can't be changed. As the two younger kids lament at her leaving, Yaya's eyes darker. One more life can't change how bad a person she is.
After the eventless day of greeting her school's students, Yaya heads back with Pepe to her house. She ignores Pepe's questions and worries and waits. She stays up until both her parents are home and goes downstairs to greet them.
"Mama, Papa, can I talk to you." She smiles as she asks. Her parents are surprised with her mature speaking style so sit as they urge her to go on. "I want to go to the US to study for Middle School," she says with a shaking voice, fearing she would be rejected. But still, she looks into her parents eyes. Her parents were, of course, shocked, but ask her why when they recover. "I want to be a successful person." Yaya knows what her parents want to hear, so tries to be a good girl.
Mr and Mrs Yuiki are touched that their little girl is finally showing signs of growing up. They previously worried about her attachment to being a baby, but are reassured by her little speech. "Why not?" Mrs Yuiki tells Mr Yuiki in their private conversation, "Our little girl is finally growing up, we should let her see the outside world. With that, Mr Yuiki is convinced and the Yuiki family immediately start the application process to a US middle school. They decided to let Yaya go immediately, so that she can get used to English.
"But what about your Elementary school graduation?" Mrs Yuiki asks Yaya worriedly.
"It's okay to miss it, Mama. My studies are more important." She says with a big smile. Her parents laugh at how mature she has become in a year and how they remember she fought with Tsubasa for their attention. In the end, they agree to let Yaya leave in a week after her application there was accepted and gotten a visa. Pepe doesn't say a word to her after this. She stays in her egg and wonders what on Earth Yaya was thinking.
Yaya likes her friends, Amu-chi, Rima-tan, Nagi, Kairi, and Tadase. But they ultimately weigh less in her heart than her pain when seeing Kukai. She knows she is selfish, so in an effort to reconcile with herself, invited them to a last meal- lunch in the cafe Shion works in.
