Disclaimer: I do not own the His Dark Materials series.
A/N: Hi, everybody! Thanks for checking out my story. This is a story about Asriel, Marisa, and everything else in between. It's a story about love - though a strained, complicated sort love - and it explores a side of Asriel and Marisa that we've never really seen. It'll be a multi-chapter piece, and this is just the start of Asriel and Marisa's romance.
It's not connected to it, but I also am the author of Luxurious Lies. So, if you like that story, you may like this one, too.
Please sit back, relax, read, and review! Have a good one!
o1.
No. No. Absolutely not.
As she took in the woman's curled black hair and dark green eyes, which shimmered oh-so-perfectly at the men standing all around her, Marisa felt her blood start to boil. This woman - no, girl - was wearing a strapless gray dress that cut off at just below her knees. Her panda daemon was perched prettily at her legs, his face tilted up toward the other humans. In a lot of ways, she looked tremendously like Marisa, but with a cruel laugh, Marisa determined that this girl wasn't anywhere as pretty as her. Marisa was superior.
Indeed, though she captured everyone's attention, the girl just didn't have it. She seemed to cleaned up well enough and was able to carry on a conversation, but what other qualifications did she have? Was she married to anyone important? Was she a student at a renowned school? Was she some sensational super star with some sensational influence? Was she anyone of recognizable worth in the highly-toxic public sphere?
Of course not.
In the end, she really was a glammed up nobody. Marisa sat quietly by herself in the corner of the room. Edward was off parlaying with some Magisterial officials, and Marisa couldn't help but overhear the woman's conversation.
"Oh gentlemen, you flatter me," she was saying, the hint of a laugh flecked into her high-pitched voice. "Asriel told me you'd all be kind, but I never thought I'd get so much attention over some silly old article."
"It's not silly at all, my dear!" rasped an old man. "Experimental theology can use all of the insight and research it can get, and you've certainly contributed a considerable finding!"
So she was studying experimental theology. Marisa wrinkled her nose and let out a breath of frustration. The golden monkey climbed from the back of the sofa to her shoulder, chattering in her ear. She probably just started at St. Sophia's. She's obviously new since we don't know her. There's no way she's done any substantial work. She probably hasn't even passed her test to be admitted to the Royal Arctic Institute!
"Tell them how you first got into it all, Vanessa." Marisa's heart skipped a beat and her insides squirmed as Asriel came up from behind her, one hand on her waist and his other on his wine glass. "I'll bet they've never heard a story like yours."
That was it. Uncrossing her legs and standing up, swinging the monkey onto her right shoulder, Marisa picked up her clutch and made her way over to the other end of the room, taking care to detour right by them. A few people looked up and uttered their greetings, those sappy, pathetic smiles on their faces. When Marisa was directly beside Asriel and the girl, she turned her head to stare directly at him.
Gray eyes met blue, and for a short instant, Marisa sensed everything she'd ever felt about him. The monkey gripped her shoulder as she remembered his wide, arrogant smile and his large, tender hand. She felt herself shudder as she remembered the way he stared at her like she was the only person in the universe. There was something almost resembling hysteria threatening to overwhelm her, and as she looked away to gaze instead at Vanessa, whose eyes were crinkled in the midst of a laugh, Marisa felt something even stronger fight its way through her system.
Marisa Coulter hated her. She hated the way she smiled, the way she dressed, the way she talked. She hated everything about her, particularly the way she leaned comfortably into Asriel's embrace. Marisa couldn't believe how anyone could choose someone so strikingly ordinary as Vanessa over someone as extraordinary as herself. As she finally turned away, aware of his eyes watching her, she couldn't believe how this man could completely and entirely crush her heart.
Before we can get to the core of the affair, we must start from the very beginning. So naturally, we must start from the first of what was Asriel and Marisa.
Glancing down at his watch, which ticked and hummed at an alarmingly loud volume, Asriel threw aside his newspaper and downed the rest of his coffee. It was rather weak, but that was to be expected of a low-ranked hotel adorned with poor service and second-hand merchandise. Asriel left the mug right there on his desk as he rounded the corner, grabbed his coat, twisted the doorknob, and left without a sound, his daemon right on his trail. If it were up to him, he'd never come back, but he unfortunately had a string of research presentations he had to suffer through.
Asriel was a tall, broad-shouldered man with long hands, large feet, dark golden hair, and a generally bigger build to his frame. Not a fat frame, of course, but simply large in appearances. This might make one feel self-conscious since people were always so intimidated and threatened by bigger people, but for Asriel, he realized he could use it to his advantage. His snow leopard daemon had lush, silky fur and neat, bright patches of white on her chest and her paws. Her eyes blazed golden rays of unflinching tawny. People were afraid of Stelmaria as there were rumors that she ate whole human carcasses when she and Asriel were in the North. The thought made Asriel laugh, and he cuffed her on the shoulder blade. Stelmaria was fierce, but she was as tender and loyal as a daemon could be.
When they reached Jordan College, Asriel already felt himself sigh and grow weary as he watched all the old men in their finely-pressed suits gather to exchange hands and heartless greetings. Typical academia. Looking down at his own tweed blazer and thin dress shirt, he felt rather underdressed, but he really didn't care. Dressing up was for snobs, and Asriel was an explorer. Stelmaria lashed her tail, and as the pair took a moment to calculate their next move, the unexpected happened.
She had long, beautiful dark hair that was curled and pinned partway up. Her eyes - shining faintly in the lamplight - were a deep shade of the clearest of blues. She wore a cedar-colored fur coat atop a sparkling beige dress that was tucked to the side with a broach, and her face was splashed with just the right amount of makeup. Stelmaria saw her first since she was looking out at the hallway. Her eyes were trained on a handsome golden monkey clinging to the woman's shoulder, his face and paws stained onyx while the rest of his body shimmered gold.
As she entered the room, her eyes slowly swiveled to meet his. It was if some kind of anbaric charge surged through him. Moving toward her, Asriel felt this strange, inexplicable sensation surge through the pit of his stomach. Stelmaria felt it too, and as they stopped to greet her, taking in her curves and her milky skin, they realized that they'd never been more taken with a woman.
"Hello," she mused, her voice quiet and even as she continued to gaze at him.
"Hello," he repeated, dipping his head and reaching out for her hand. She extended it, and as Asriel brushed his lips against the soft, smooth surface, he took in a sweet scent that was intoxicating yet somehow oddly metallic. He'd never smelled anything like that before, and though the sheer force of it somewhat disturbed him, he felt like he could never get enough of it.
"Are you one of the presenters tonight?" Her tone was light and casual. She seemed thoroughly intrigued.
"Not quite," Asriel responded, finding himself torn between an opportunity to brag about his research and an opportunity to find out more about this woman. He wondered why she was there in the first place. It was a very scholarly convention composed of the brightest and (unfortunately) most sexist pigs in the industry. Even more importantly, though, he wondered if she was accompanied and who her companion was. "I'm not slated to present tonight, but I am set to travel to the North in a month. I'm here to get the overview of the college's existing work so that I can build upon with my own research."
"The North?" she echoed, her eyes suddenly bright. "How exciting… Will it be your first time?"
"No, it'll actually be my third. I've done a couple preliminary searches over the past few years, but this will be my first full-fledged research assignment."
"What is the focus of your research?"
"Experimental theology with a concentration on Rusakov theories."
Her eyes locked with his, and Asriel found himself lost in their shimmering blue depths. He wanted to skip beyond the small talk and get directly to who she was and if she wanted to get a drink afterwards, but before he could do so, a man slipped between them and placed his hand on her waist. "Are you ready, my dear? We're about to start."
Without a word, she nodded and then proceeded to turn around, allowing the man to usher her forward. The golden monkey glanced back at them, and Asriel felt a small smile play at the corner of his lips. Stelmaria rested her head against his knee, and he found himself feeling oddly elated. Giddy, even.
Later, as the conference came to a close, he saw her moving toward the refreshments - alone. Stelmaria watched from her perch near the table as the lady and the golden monkey came up to fill their coffee cup. As she set her cup down, she began to fiddle with the creamer.
"I never did catch your name." The woman paused to look over at him, her eyes flickering in the reflection of the nearby fireplace.
"Asriel," he said quickly, feeling his smile return and his heart start to race. "Asriel Belacqua."
"I'm Marisa Coulter." She held his gaze for a millisecond before pouring her coffee and then turning back around, returning to the man with the steam-pressed tuxedo and the chameleon daemon.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Over the past few weeks he saw her every now and again. She'd be at the library checking out a book or at one of the colleges talking to some scholar. Though their eyes met every time in a sort of strained, distanced recognition, they never spoke a word to one another. She'd flash him a smile, a light, fleeting smile, but nothing more. He'd return it to find her turn away to focus back on her task or back on her companion. Her presence alone was oddly comforting, so Asriel didn't mind.
The next time he actually talked to her was at the Royal Arctic Institute, where Asriel was scheduled to present his preliminary findings at the bi-annual Northern Research Conference. He had put together meticulous records of the Aura's elements and functions, perhaps more so than any other scholar, and the Institute had gladly asked him to share his findings before he went away the North. He'd be leaving for Svalbard the next week, so it was perhaps that which gave him to courage to go over to her.
She was standing by the Skraeling exhibit while peering into the glass, her daemon sitting with his arm crooked around her right leg. This time she wore a frilly white blouse with a matching skirt, and she had her hair down, curled to rest fashionably on her shoulders.
As he approached her, Asriel reeled his brain for something to say. It'd be pathetic to just approach her and be utterly speechless, but he didn't want to ramble either. He didn't know why, but there was just something different about her. They'd only talked for a few minutes at the Jordan conference and he'd only watched her from afar since then, but he felt an odd urge to impress her. As Stemaria prowled along next to him and brushed his leg slightly, he felt something stir in the center of his chest that almost resembled nervousness.
She sensed him coming before he was able to reach her, and she turned around to greet him, smiling.
"Asriel," she said, taking a moment to look at him. Asriel thought he caught her eyes flick quickly up and down. "How lovely to see you again."
"And you as well." He dipped his head to her, feeling his chest grow tighter and tighter at this formal flattery. A part of him softened as she extended her hand and let it linger within his. "How have you been?"
Naturally, he didn't really want to break the ice and chit-chat through pleasantries. One part of him wanted to get to the chase about who that man at the conference was, and another wanted to be so bold as to reach out and feel her hair.
She seemed to sense some kind of impatience coming from him, so she took a step closer and lowered her voice. "Aren't you leaving for the North soon? How long will you be gone?"
Stelmaria let out a puff of air, and Asriel felt his eyebrows rise. What was that supposed to mean? Why did she care?
"I leave next week," he answered, still trying to figure out where this was going. He couldn't help but glance down at her chest and her waist, and though he tried to hide it, he was sure she noticed. "I'll be gone for three months, and I might like to see you when I return." He didn't know what made him say it, but by the way the golden monkey inched closer to Stelmaria and the way Marisa's eyes glittered at him, he was starting to think that maybe he wasn't so bold after all.
"I might like to see you as well," she replied, her mouth forming to reveal her perfectly white teeth encompassed by her rosy red lips. "But three months is a while, and I'm not sure what my husband's agenda will be like."
Husband? Agenda? Asriel found his heart starting to race, and he loved the way she kept up with his coyness and provided that tantalizing allure that made him want to just wrap his arms around her. He didn't particularly like the fact that she was married, which he had already suspected, but it all somehow came together to make the entire thing thrilling.
"Maybe it'll work out, but maybe it won't." He shrugged his shoulders, watching her out of the corner of his eye. He thought he saw the corner of her lips twitch for a moment.
"Only time will tell," she sighed, glancing down at her watch and then bending down to gather her daemon. Her hair fell from out behind her ears as she did so, and a fresh, sweet scent raked Asriel's nostrils. He also fixed his eyes on her center as she lowered herself, but he diverted his gaze as she came back up and pretended to be looking behind her at the Skraeling exhibit.
She stroked the monkey's ears a moment as she looked at him, biting her lip slightly, and she then moved to walk past him, pausing when she was standing beside him.
She was standing very, very close. Asriel felt the side of her chest just barely touching his shoulder. Her mouth was close to his ear, sending warm breaths tingling down his spine, and her scent enveloped him more than ever and made him close his eyes in a sudden swirl of bliss. "Good luck with your research, Asriel. I hope you gather enough for another conference."
