A/n: yes this is random. yes i am insane. MUAHAHAHAHAHA. yay insanity.

once upon a time there was a brazilian cup of coffee

the cup of coffee's name was snape

snape was disliked by all the other cups of coffee because they were brewed in peru and he was brewed in brazil

basically, snape was the lowest of the low

but he had dreams

dreams that were ruined by some other certain cups of coffee (i won't say names...)

*cough*JAMES AND SIRIUS*cough*

anyway...one day snape the brazilian cup of coffee met a beautiful frappuccino named lily

everyone liked lily because she was the most delicious cup of coffee ever (haha that's what she said)

but snape was REALLY in love with lily

i mean REALLY REALLY

like, mr. burrito grande really

but snape didn't want to admit his love for lily because he was afraid some STUPID EFFING BUTT-HEADS WOULD BEAT HIM UP

...no, i do not have a bias

so instead he loved her in secret. he thought about her, dreamed about her, watched her, basically acted like a stalker, and wrote a poem for her that somehow ended up in an 8th grade language arts class

but then she got married. to james the doucheb--i mean--peruvian cup of coffee. then they had a little cappuccino of their own.

snape was sad. he still really loved that frappuccino...(and again, we're still talking about mr. burrito grande size love)

then lily died. snape was devested.

the same night, james died.

he danced on his grave.