(A/N) Greetings, and welcome to The Lost and the Caged! I do hope you enjoy your stay. This fic is my pride and joy right now, so I decided to share it on this site, as well. I've posted up through chapter five over on AO3; I'll post the link below. On , I'll be posting one chapter per day until all five are up here, as well; after that, I'll be posting on both sites. However, if you really want to stay on top of things, follow my tumblr, .com 3

AO3 link: /users/Lightningpelt


For a long time, things went on as normal- I suppose we were blessed, in that regard.

However, civilization dissolved quickly enough once we realized what was going on.

... ... ...

Days Since the End of the World

Armin kept a tally on the wall of his room- we'd all forget, if he didn't.

Technically, I suppose the "world ended" several weeks before any of us were even aware of it. Wall Maria was breached at its Northernmost point, and it took that long for any of us in Shiganshina to find out. We had thought it was strange, of course, that the weekly batch of food from the fields had failed to show up, but that happened from time to time- it was nothing to get alarmed about.

Then, the rumors had begun.

A pair of the Garrison had rushed into town around dawn, shrieking about seeing Titans on the wrong side of the wall. The vast majority of the population had laughed it off- the Garrison were well-known drunkards, and Titans on the wrong side of Wall Maria were unthinkable. Only Hannes had really taken them seriously; I had, of course, but I was only a 12 year old child, and my opinion made little difference. Armin had as well, I discovered later, and had already begun to plan for the inevitable.

Then the alleged sightings got more frequent. At first everyone had thought they were jokes- copycats, mocking those first two, drunken guards. But as the days began to slip by, no one wanted to venture outside our own little Walls- not even to see what was holding up the food delivery. Armin began to take action around that time, already stacking the cards in our favor; he began to stockpiled food, and convinced us to do the same. We stashed it everywhere- his basement, his attic, our attic, our rooms… everywhere except for my basement.

Dad had promised to show me what was in the basement, when he returned from his trip to Wall Rose. But I was becoming more and more certain that Dad wasn't coming back; Mom, as well, was frantic, and it was getting harder to convince her to let Mikasa and I out of her sight.

And then, one day, Hannes came barging into our house. It was early dawn; the sun had only just begun to stain the sky pink, and it was a fluke that I was even awake. But I was awake; Armin had come over for some reason I can't remember just now, and so all three of us were in the living room when Hannes nearly broke our door down amid the surreal dawn light.

"The Titans...!" he gasped. "It's true! Wall Maria has fallen!"

Within a day, the whole of Shiganshina was in an uproar. Mom was numb; she simply sat, staring into the distance, occasionally murmuring my father's name. Again it was Armin who gave us something constructive to do. I was full of energy, ready to fight back, but I didn't know how; my friend, however, seemed to know the right thing to do, just like he always did.

"It's only a matter of time," he said, "days, probably, before society starts to collapse. Then it'll be every family for itself. We have to be prepared for that."

That was also the day that he started his tally.

Mikasa was hit harder than the two of us, I think; we, on some level- or at least I -enjoyed the adventure that had been presented to us. She, however, was losing her home all over again. We set up a camp in Armin's basement- gathering most of the food we had already collected, basic supplies like candles and blankets, etc.

We convinced my mom to move in with Armin and his grandfather, at least temporarily. "There'll be attacks," Armin had informed us shakily, "and lootings. We should all try to stay in one spot so that we can help each other. Humans are pack animals at their core- when society starts to crumble, that's what they'll revert to."

"Don't worry!" I had exclaimed, slapping Armin on the back and looping my arm around Mikasa's shoulders. "I'll protect you guys! I'll protect us all!"

I didn't take care of them alone- I wasn't ready for that, as much as I would've liked to think as much. Hannes stopped by our house once or twice a day; looked after us all. The Garrison was in total disarray, half its members deserting within the first few days. That left Hannes the most senior officer, and he tried to maintain control of the remaining troops. But by then the food was beginning to run out; people were hoarding it, like Armin had made sure we were already doing- he's the reason any of us survived at all.

People did indeed start to form packs, as Armin had predicted; his wall contained 17 etch-marks the day that Hannes rushed into our house, slamming the door behind him. Bullets shattered the wood in several places behind him, and Mom and Armin both screamed. Slumping to the ground, the head of the Garrison informed us that many of the early deserters had banded together; that they were attempting to take over the city. Even most of the Garrison who had remained loyal lacked the motivation to fight it; mad men with guns were the last thing the district needed.

"I'll fight them!" I cried. "Hannes, give me your gun! I'll fight them!"

"You will not," Mikasa said, grabbing a handful of my hair and drawing a yelp of pain from me. "Listen to what you're saying, Eren- you can't fight something like that."

"Mikasa's right, Eren," Hannes said sternly. "Leave this to the adults. We won't abandon you youngsters- we'll keep this town safe, even now, I promise."

"But I want to help!" I wailed, like the child I was. "Hannes, let me help!"

"You can help," he told me gently, kneeling in front of me, "by looking after your mother, Mikasa, and Armin. And by getting stronger, because one day I'll be grateful to have you by my side."

There were twenty two marks on Armin's wall the day that Hannes' body was strung up in the center of the city.

Even more terrifying was the simple fact was that it wasn't the deserters who had done it- it was the townspeople. They were hungry and frightened, and they thought that Hannes- who had taken on a position of responsibility from the beginning -had let them down. After his death, no one tried to stop the quick decent into chaos; no one tried to take control. I might have, had Armin and Mother and Mikasa not begged me not to. I hated my own weakness, but clung to the words that Hannes had left me with.

"Look after them. And get stronger."

True to Armin's predictions, all pretenses of an organized society were gone within a month.

... ... ...

Days Since the End of the World
52

My stomach was throbbing with pain- I hadn't eaten in days, and I hadn't eaten well in weeks. But I was used to the pain, by now, and I had priorities other than food.

Recon.

We called them the Deserters, as was their rightful title. They were one of the strongest gangs around, although there were others. They occupied a large territory bordering ours to the North and the West; it was a constant concern that they would try to take our base- which happened to he Armin's house. It wouldn't even be up for discussion if they knew about the food we still had stockpiled in the basement; we would all be long dead if they knew.

Our small "gang," although I really hated to think of us that way, consisted of my mother, Mikasa, Armin, his grandfather, and myself. Mikasa and I mostly went out on patrols like this, although sometimes Armin joined us; Armin's grandfather watched over the house. My mother had been in a useless state of shock for the past several weeks, ever since Hannes' death. We had established a territory that extended four houses in each direction from Armin's; that included my old house, and bordered on the canal- a valuable source of semi-clean water. It was hard to maintain; the Deserters bordered us on two sides, and a group that consisted mainly of older children (they called themselves the Street Rats) were on our third. The canal, however, made our fourth border easy to defend.

I peered across the rooftops; a boy named Jones was keeping watch directly across the street, and our eyes met. Jones was about my age, but far more experienced with street life, enough so that the Street Rats saw him as an asset. I stuck out my tongue at him, and he glowered back.

The Street Rats wanted Mikasa and I to join- very much, actually, so much so that they had agreed to accept Armin as well. It made sense, considering most of their members had been beaten senseless by the two of us at least once- usually in defense of said Armin. But I could never even think of leaving Mom; neither could Mikasa, and Armin was similarly devoted to his grandfather. So their offers went unheeded, and they kept testing our borders.

I licked my dry lips; Jones hadn't moved an inch, and neither would I. I examined him- emaciated, dirty, and hollow-eyed, he seemed worse off than any of us. If it wasn't for Armin's foresight, we'd certainly have starved already; as it was, we were managing to eek our a living, at least as of yet.

Jones was the first one to rise. But instead of turning and retreating, he leaped down into the street that lay between our two territories. He didn't advance, simply waited; watched me expectantly. Within a couple of minutes, I couldn't resist; I wanted to see what he had to say. So I jumped down as well, walking out into the street with all the confidence I could muster.

"Where's Mikasa?" was the first thing he asked.

"On the Deserters' border," I answered truthfully. "I can deal with the likes of you."

The boy smirked; looked down. "We've offered all three of you a chance to join us," he said. "Why are you resisting? When it comes down to us kids, the greatest numbers have the best chance of survival. We aren't armed like the adults are. It's only a matter of time before your little family is going to be wiped out, and then the Deserters will turn to us. If all of us kids band together, we might have a fighting chance."

I scoffed. "You expect me to abandon my mom?"

"I abandoned mine!" he retorted. "And she wanted me to! She knew that I would die if I kept trying to defend her; yours must know the same!"

"I'm not weak like you!" I screamed, rage bubbling up in me at the mere thought of someone abandoning their mother. "I'll protect her even if it does cost my life! I'm not afraid to die!"

Jones sighed; kicked a stone on the road. "We're going to have to take you out ourselves, then," he said, somewhat regretfully. "Consider this a gentleman's warning: if we want to survive, we need to beat the Deserters to your territory. And we want to survive."

"Fine," I growled. "You just try."

Wordlessly, Jones turned; was gone, vanishing up a drainpipe and bounding over rooftops. With a sigh, I did the same, retreating back into the heart of our territory; there was little more I could do to secure such an invisible border anyway. I glanced briefly around the street as I did so; a fleeting fancy to check some of the houses over again made me pause, but I knew we had already scavenged most of what was useful. My stomach growled furiously at me, but I strove to ignore it; hunger was a fact of life, and a weakness I couldn't give in to.

Gunshots rang out suddenly, far too near for comfort, and I looked up sharply; if there was one thing that Jones was right about, it was that we children weren't armed like some of the adults. In some ways, death by gun seemed preferable to the more animalistic ways people had resorted to, but I would prefer to avoid the question of how I was to die altogether. Ignoring the commotion that had sprung up several blocks away, I made for home; random violence wasn't something I could afford to become entangled in.

"Eren!"

I skidded to a halt, looking over at the small shape approaching quickly from my right. "Mikasa!" I called, surprised. "What's wrong?"

"You were late coming back," my adopted sister said, her face wan with concern as she grabbed for my hand. "I was worried something might have happened."

"Not really," I replied evasively, scratching the back of my neck with my free hand. As she continued to stare at me with those piercing eyes of hers, I finally admitted, "I just ran into Jones. He wanted to give us fair warning that the Street Rats are going to try to run us out."

"I'll kill them if they try," the girl growled instantly, and I hurried to calm her.

"We just need to keep them out, Mikasa, and we will! We don't need to fight them!"

"..." The girl didn't reply, but instead she tightened her grip on my hand. "Armin wants to talk to all of us about something. We should hurry back."

Nodding reluctantly, I jerked my hand away before following her across the remaining rooftops. "I'm not your kid brother," I muttered, but she didn't reply to that, either.

The two of us slipped into the attic window; we had barricaded the doors to make our base easier to defend if, worst case scenario, we found ourselves trapped inside. The whole house was arranged with that basic idea in mind- Mom and Armin's grandfather had their room on the first floor, while Mikasa, Armin and I slept on the second. The attic was mostly empty aside from a few traps designed to warn us of intruders, and our supplies were all stored in the basement.

We found everyone gathered in the living room, with Armin leaning against the front wall. My blonde friend looked pale and thin, thinner and more tired than either Mikasa or I. We knew that he hadn't been eating even the meager amount that we did; he said that he didn't need it, considering how often he went out patrolling or scavenging compared to us. We tried to convince him otherwise, but there was little we could do short of force-feeding him, which Mikasa had actually resorted to several times.

"What's up, dude?" I asked, trying to sound cheerful as I ruffled his hair and came away with a handful of the brittle strands. "Why the family meeting?"

"To discuss the future," Armin replied seriously, and then waited until all of us were seated. It was his habit to pace when he addressed us all at once, but he seemed to lack the energy required to push away from the wall.

"Oh?" his grandfather asked encouragingly, and Armin shot him a grateful glance.

"Shiganshina was never meant to he a farming district," he began steadily. "That's why food is running out so quickly. So far, the strongest groups have been getting by by scavenging and looting, but there's going to be an end to that- an end where everyone, regardless of strength or territory, starves."

I shivered.

"I'm assuming you're telling us this because you've thought of a solution?" Mikasa asked calmly, and the worn boy brightened slightly.

"Yes, I think so," he replied, eager and unsteady. "What we have to do is get some sort of farming program started- and for now, we should keep it to ourselves."

"Where?" I asked curiously. "There aren't any fields inside the Walls."

"The floorboards on some of the older houses, like the ones in this neighborhood, should be easy to pull up," he explained. "We can use the houses nearest to us so they're easy to protect, and open holes in the roof to let sun and rain in."

"Shall we start with two houses' worth?" Armin's grandfather asked, and the blonde boy nodded eagerly.

"I would think so. We can't overextend ourselves right now; it's hard enough to defend what little territory we have."

Mikasa glanced at me; we reached a silent consensus, by eye-contact, to keep Jones' threat to ourselves. Armin had enough to worry about; enough weight rested on his frail shoulders. We could deal with the Street Rats on our own if it came to a head.

"We also need to secure a horse or two, as soon as possible," the blonde continued, oblivious. "People still see their value as beasts of burden, but soon they'll all be killed for meat."

"What use would we have for horses?" I asked, confused; Armin cleared his throat nervously.

"If we want to survive long term- and I mean really long term, as in years down the road -we'll need to venture outside the Walls once or twice, at least. Horses are the only safe way to do that. But once they're gone inside the Walls, that's that- we're truly trapped."

My jaw dropped. "Outside the Walls? Armin, you're crazy!"

My blonde friend, despite his crippling weakness, glared back at me. "Am I, Eren? Think it through; in a year or so, easily half the population will be dead (more than that, if you take into account the percentage already dead). There are necessary resources that are only available Outside- livestock is one of my specific concerns, seeing as what little was kept in Shiganshina itself has already been slaughtered. If we want to survive, we need to let this city die around us, and then resurrect it as a completely self-sufficient entity; to do that, we need access to the farms outside the Walls."

"That's crazy!" I repeated. "'Let the city die around us?!' Armin, do you have any idea how many lives you're just... writing off?!"

"Regrettably, I do," the small boy replied, his voice quavering. "But I also know that sacrifice is necessary for change to occur- and change is going to occur whether we want it or not."

"Armin is just trying ensure our survival," Mikasa told me gently, laying a hand on my shoulder. "And I think his approach is the right one."

"Crazy...!" I grumbled once more, but then asked reluctantly, "Alright, so a horse or two. Where do you suggest we get these horses? They're valuable- they were insanely valuable, even before the Fall."

Armin shifted nervously. "The Deserters have amassed a small herd; they would be the easiest target."

"'Easiest... target?'" I repeated in shock. "Armin, are you even hearing yourself?!"

"We have to survive!" my blonde friend insisted. "We have to... and to survive, we have to take risks and make sacrifices!"

"... The Street Rats have a pair of horses," Mikasa said softly, startling us all. "I don't know how they managed it, but they have at least two. If we took their territory..."

"Don't sink to their level, Mikasa!" I snapped, beginning to panic slightly.

"Such is the world we now live in, Eren," the girl replied sternly. "I will not let us die for your ideals. I choose to trust Armin's theories; they've never let us down."

"B-But..." I tried again, although I knew I was on the losing side of the argument, "wouldn't it be better to try to get the whole district in on it? Those who've survived, I mean?"

"Hannes tried to unite this district," Mom whispered, and then curled up tighter in her chair. "Look what happened to him."

"So it's decided," Mikasa said, and I glanced at her with sick imploring. "We'll launch an attack on the Street Rats tomorrow; we'll take their horses, and all the supplies we can get our hands on. If we gain some of their land in the bargain, all the better." Then she looked straight at me, her eyes piercing and cold. "You and I must bear the brunt of the work, Eren; we can't afford to have you second-guessing it."

I opened my mouth to reply, but nothing came out. Then, I looked down. I knew it was necessary; I knew it was the only chance, long shot through it was, that we had at survival. I looked at Armin, so heartrendingly frail and yet stronger than me, in his willingness to do what it took; I looked at my mother, depending upon me.

"Grow stronger."

This wasn't what I had hoped to use my strength for, Hannes.

"Alright. I'll do it."

... ... ...

Armin brought up food from the basement that night; we all left the allocation of resources entirely up to him, even if it meant we didn't eat every day. That night he brought up a full meal for both of us, as well as a typical set of rations for Mom and his Grandfather. I had mixed feelings about eating what was, in those days, such a lot of food, but Mikasa saw the sense.

"We won't be able to afford weakness tomorrow," she said, and then shoved a piece of bread into my mouth. "Eat and gather your strength."

Armin didn't eat; he hadn't in god knew how many days. After I had finished, my stomach aching with the food, I caught him chewing on the bone I had left on my plate; it wasn't the first time I had seen him eating- or trying to eat -something that shouldn't have been fit for consumption. It was pathetic how much he thought he was worth, compared to us, when it was actually him that had kept us alive all this time.

I lay down beside Mikasa with mixed feelings; part of me knew that I should sleep, but my mind wouldn't shut up. I cuddled into my sister, pressing my back into her stomach; when Armin joined us, after a few hours of planning and preparation for the next day's attack, I pulled his emaciated body to me until his face was buried in my chest. We lay like that, huddled together on the thin mattress; soon both of my companions had fallen asleep, but I remained wide awake, staring into Armin's straw-like hair and remembering when it had been soft and golden.

No matter what I have to do, I'll protect you both... I vowed silently, tightening my grip slightly on his small body. ... No matter who I have to kill.

But even in that instant, I doubted myself- I doubted my strength, if not my resolve.

A whisper of sound caught my ear suddenly, and I stiffened beneath the blanket. Armin stirred, but didn't wake; Mikasa was still behind me. I lifted my head slowly, careful not to wake either of my companions; after a moment, however, that proved pointless.

"What?" Mikasa whispered, and I shrugged.

"I heard a noise from downstairs. I don't think it's anything to be worried about."

"Never assume," the girl replied, rising fluidly and picking up the knife she always slept with. I got up as well, tucking the blankets tighter around Armin as I did so.

"You think...?"

"I don't think anything," she informed me. "But there's simply no way to know, and we can't be too careful. Stay close to me, if you insist upon coming."

I did just that as she led the way down the stairs; we were halfway down when we heard the whispered voices, and it became horrifyingly clear that this was no false alarm.

"... no guard." That was the voice of Vincent- a Street Rat, and several years older than us. "How stupid can they be?"

"They're only kids," Jones' voice objected, "and there are only three of them."

"Guys, I found the adults' room!" called a third boy, Gustav, and I felt every muscle in my body stiffen. Mikasa edged forward, a firm hand on my shoulder to keep me from rushing past her.

There was the soft tramp of feet, then; this invasion was clearly more than just the three boys we had been able to identify by voice. Mikasa ghosted along the hall with me on her heals; we reached the kitchen just in time to see a shape vanish down the hallway, toward Mom's room.

I felt a sudden jolt of panic stop my heart; ignoring Mikasa's cry of protest, I shot forward, willing myself to be in time. I skidded into the room just as the lights flashed on; momentarily blinded, I back peddled; slipped; crashed to the ground with a soft splash.

Splash.

My whole being trembling, I looked down; stared in open-mouthed horror at the sticky red puddle I had landed in, flowing out from farther inside the room. Tears were spilling down my face as I looked up slowly; saw the Street Rats, frozen in surprise; saw the body of Armin's grandfather, sprawled limp on the ground; saw my mother.

"Mom!"

"Eren!" she shrieked, kicking out against the pair of children who held her. "Take Mikasa and run! Get out of here!"

Face twisting with rage, I charged forward with a roar; apparently overcoming their surprise, two of the older children came to intercept me; each grabbed one of my shoulders, holding me up off the ground as I screamed and flailed. I could see Vincent, blade poised over my mother's throat; Jones, wide eyes locked on me in something like pity; Mom, screaming at me to run.

Then, the boy on my left went limp; the one on my right faltered, suddenly supporting my whole weight, and my feet found the ground once again. As Mikasa pulled her blade from the fallen boy's side, I turned and punched the remaining one; heard a satisfying crack as blood spewed out from his nose, and he fell back. Without thinking, I flung myself toward Vincent; toward Mom.

The knife came down; her blood splattered across my face. Her screams ended in a sick gurgling; her body went limp.

And my vision went red.

"Pity about that, but it had to be done," Vincent said, but his voice was distorted in my ears. "Now, Eren, Mikasa, I hope you two will reconsider-"

He didn't get any farther; surging forward in a sudden and violent motion, I grabbed his wrist; twisted the blade in his hand so that it was buried up to the hilt in his own stomach. Mikasa screamed my name, but I had gone deaf; the Street Rats all took a collective step back as their leader fell, dead at my feet, his knife remaining in my hand.

"I'll... kill you...!" I gasped out, feeling my whole body shudder with the force of my conviction; my gaze kept flickering to my mother's dead eyes, her face twisted with her dying screams, and then back up to her killers. "I'll kill you... I'll kill you all!"

And that was the last thing I remembered until I woke with the dawn, sobbing in Mikasa's arms, the bodies of a dozen or so boys scattered around me and their blood soaking me through to the very bone.