Title: In My Life (1/3)
Rating: PG
Spoilers: All seasons
Disclaimer: I do not own 30 Rock or any of the characters.
Summary: Liz moves on and Jack doesn't know what to do about this.
A/N: This is a really old fic, so obviously, key plot ideas are not reflected in this. I felt that going back and changing the minute details so they matched canon would have taken away from the overall story, so I kept them in. Title taken from the Beatles' song.
Liz sat on the closed toilet lid, staring down at the thin, plastic test. Of all the things she could be positive for, this was certainly one of the most interesting of them.
"Blurg," she remarked softly, though she felt the excitement bubbling within her.
Carol was long gone, maybe two weeks since they last seen each other, and it had been a month and a half since they last had sex. So, given this timeline, Liz figured that she was already at least two months along.
First things first: she needed to get this checked out to be absolutely certain. She made note to Google some obstetricians in the city to schedule an appointment, and then tried to remember the last time she'd had her monthly visitor. It had been nearly three months now.
Once things were confirmed, she became determined to make this the best thing to happen to her life. This was her jumping off point, and she wasn't about to let this last chance pass her by. She was going to be someone's mother, and she was going to be brilliant as someone's mother.
****
Avery gave birth to their daughter three weeks later. Jack had called Liz at two in the morning, sounding exhausted but enthused about his little girl. "She's gorgeous, Lemon. Absolutely perfect. Avery doesn't want people coming to see us until we're at home for a few days and settled, but she extended an invitation for you to be one of the first to meet the baby."
"Aw, Jack, that's nice of her. Congratulations," Liz replied sleepily before bidding farewell to her friend.
Four days later, Liz made her way to Jack's apartment. A housekeeper let Liz in and led her to where Avery and the baby were. When she walked into the room, Avery smiled weakly. "Liz," she stated simply. "Jack's on a phone call right now, but he'll be here in a few minutes."
The baby was sleeping in a bassinette. Liz, who had started to research anything and everything pertaining to babies and children, walked over to the bassinette and instantly noticed that there was a ribbon that had come loose next to the baby's head. "Oh!" Liz exclaimed quietly, "It looks like the ribbons on the bedding can come untied. That isn't safe for the baby."
Avery looked at Liz as if Liz had just spoken some foreign language. "I'll have Rosa look at the bedding later," she answered dismissively.
Liz, feeling a little apprehensive about having the baby so close to the ribbon, reached into the bassinette and pushed the ribbon away from the baby's head. She still wasn't comfortable with the situation, but she didn't feel as though she had any authority to do anything more. "So, what did you two decide to name her?" Liz asked awkwardly.
Avery took the baby out of the bassinette as another woman walked into the room. "We've decided to name her Bridget," Avery informed Liz before handing the baby off to the nanny named Rosa.
Liz felt sorry for the little girl, wondering how Avery could be so detached from her daughter when Liz couldn't bear the thought of parting from her unborn child once it was born. "Bridget, as in the character Renee Zellweiger played in Bridget Jones' Diary?" Liz asked as she sat down in one of the chairs Jack had in his office.
"No. Bridget as in Bridget Elizabeth Donaghy," Avery snapped.
Jack walked into the room, taking the baby from Rosa. "There's my sweet little future GOP supporter," Jack crooned in a baby voice before realizing that Liz was in his office. "Oh… Lemon, you're here. Interesting choice in apparel you have made today. I was not aware that they made clothing in that color."
Liz made a move to stand up. "Right… Jack… I'm gonna go now. Congratulations on Bridget, she's gorgeous," Liz remarked out of courtesy.
In actuality, Bridget didn't appear to have been blessed with any of the fortunate physical qualities of her parents, though Liz suspected that she might grow out of her… how to put it lightly… ugly stage.
"Lemon, do stay and have lunch with us," Jack insisted.
Liz shook her head. "Sorry Jack, I've got rewrites to do, and I haven't started yet."
"Rewrites?" Jack asked in interest. "It's only Tuesday. You're not telling me that your staff has managed to get that much work done in only two days."
"Something's come upon them," Liz quipped as she strode across the room and stopped at the door. "I appreciate your offer though."
Liz didn't know what had come over her. She would have normally stayed and had lunch; she loved food, after all. But there was something about this situation that left her feeling uneasy about the matter. Maybe it was the fact that Avery didn't seem concerned that her daughter's bassinette wasn't safe, or that the little girl was handed off to a nanny when there were two perfectly able parents available to take her. Maybe it was the fact that Jack was moving on with his life, Liz was moving on with hers, and somehow, with the way things were going, neither of them would be playing a major role in the other's life for much longer. Maybe that was it.
****
It was April when Jack came into Liz's office one afternoon in a tizzy. "I'm concerned about your clothing," Jack remarked as soon as he walked into the office.
Liz pulled her earbuds out of her ears and looked at him. "I'm sorry… but what? Why?"
"Stand up, will you?" Jack said as he beckoned to her.
Liz stood up and walked over to him. Jack plucked at the cloth of the shirt Liz had chosen to wear that day. "This…wait…" Jack pulled the shirt out a little more. "Liz?"
"Yeah?"
Jack pulled her shirt up and his eyes widened. "Please tell me that your metabolism has suddenly disappeared and you haven't changed your eating habits accordingly."
Liz snorted with laughter. She didn't know why this was her first reaction to this; she was due in two months, and this was the first that Jack had even noticed. Jack's face remained solemn in response to Liz's snort of laughter. "Liz…"
"I'm pregnant and due in two months… so, no not necessarily a drastic disappearance of my metabolism."
Jack lowered himself into the couch behind him, the shock not abating. "Why on earth… no… how on earth have you kept this to yourself?" he asked.
Liz sat down next to him. "I don't know… you've been pretty wrapped up in your own life, and you haven't been paying much attention to my staff, the show, my life, or me, so it's easy to miss."
"Easy to miss? Liz, I'm a pretty observant guy, and this is something that would be hard to miss. You're about to become a mother, and this is the first I've heard of this. Why didn't you tell me?"
"Like I said Jack, you've been pretty wrapped up in your own life. I mean, you've got a wife and a daughter to be running after now; I'm just one of your employees who is having a baby."
"You're not that."
"Really? Because every time I try to go up to your office, Jonathan gives me that look…"
"Jonathan always gives you that look," Jack interrupted.
"No… not *that* look; the look that he gives me that tells me that I'm subordinate to your wife and daughter, which is perfectly acceptable. That's how it should be. But, all this time, I've been Liz, your friend, so, I'm having a hard time being Liz, your employee. Basically, what it comes down to is the fact that I've resigned to the fact that I'm doing this by myself, and I'm happy."
"You're happy. You're doing this by yourself, and you're happy?"
"Of course. I've wanted to be a mother for a very long time, and look, I'm about to be a mother."
"But doesn't it make you sad to think you're going to be a single mother?"
"Yes and no. I'm a little scared of it, but I'm excited too."
"When were you going to tell me about this?" Jack asked her.
"I was hoping that you'd notice when I go on maternity leave. But, if you didn't notice by then, I figured a birth announcement would be adequate."
"Lemon, this is unacceptable."
"This is my life Jack. You have your life, and I have my life. I'm being guided out of your life, so, I'm guiding you out of mine."
"When do you go on maternity leave?"
"May 12th," she answered.
"Are you having a baby shower?"
"Jenna briefly mentioned something about throwing me one, so… no."
"Do you have a nursery ready?"
"Yup. It was finished last week."
"And do you have a birthing plan?"
"Jack. I've got it all in control. I've had to learn how to stand on my own two feet, and I'm doing well. Don't worry; I'm fine."
"Lemon, I don't know about that."
"You don't have to know. You just have to trust me when I say that I'm fine and I'm happy. That's what's important, right?"
"Right," Jack answered stiffly.
And when Liz went on her maternity leave on the 12th of May, it didn't cross her mind to go say goodbye to Jack. Instead, she began the second chapter of the biggest adventure of her life, alone.
****
When little Lucy Lemon was born, the only notification of her arrival was a birth announcement that Liz had sent to Kenneth and Kenneth had brought up to Jack. "Miss Lemon had her baby," Kenneth remarked with a goofy grin. "Lucille Olivia Lemon."
"LOL?" Jack remarked immediately.
"Sorry?"
"Lucille Olivia Lemon… her initials are L, O, L."
"That's right sir," Kenneth replied, setting the announcement down on Jack's desk before turning to leave the office.
Jack sat as his desk, not looking at the announcement for a few minutes before failing to maintain his willpower any longer. He slid the light pink, white, and green card with a picture and stats about the baby across his desk and then he took the card with him as he walked over to pour himself a drink. As soon as he began to nurse a scotch, he looked down at the card in his hand and smiled.
Lucy Lemon looked every bit like her mother, excepting the shark-eyes. Lucy Lemon didn't have her mother's eyes. She even appeared to have her mother's dark curls, even though she was… Jack looked for the date of birth, May 30th… nearly two months old. She truly was a gorgeous little girl, and he didn't think that just because that was what you were supposed to think or say when a baby was born. Unlike Bridget, Lucy didn't look perpetually angry or discomforted. Lucy appeared to be quite at ease, maybe just like her mother. He would have to meet this little girl soon.
"LOL," he laughed quietly. "Oh, Lemon… I hope that was intentional."
****
It wasn't until two days after Kenneth brought the birth announcement up to Jack's office that Jack called Liz to congratulate her on her daughter. He'd spent nearly the entire morning staring at the birth announcement, trying to figure out what he'd say to Liz when he got her on the phone. He'd really screwed up with this, and for whatever reason, Liz hadn't felt it was necessary to make amends yet. He hadn't even been sent a birth announcement.
He finally made the move to call. When she answered, she sounded surprisingly alert. "Hello?"
"Lemon, it's Jack."
"I know. I have Caller-ID."
"Right."
"I heard about your news. Congratulations on your daughter."
"Thank you," Liz replied awkwardly.
"How is she?"
"She's doing well. How is Bridget?"
"Stubborn and very much Avery's daughter."
Liz snorted with laughter. "Well, she's your daughter too."
They made plans to meet up for lunch at his apartment the next day. Though, as Jack walked away from his phone, he realized that Colleen will be coming into town the following morning for an obligatory visit to her granddaughter. He figured this would be satisfactory to his mother; she liked Liz, and Liz appeared to like Colleen in return.
The following day, Liz arrived five minutes early, toting a diaper bag. "One of the best inventions ever," she remarked as she set the bag down next to the baby carrier that Lucy was strapped into.
The picture Jack saw of Lucy must have been from when she was only a few days or weeks old, because Lucy now had a full head of strangely unruly brown hair and started to get Liz's Shark-Eyes. She seemed to be incredibly wise and alert for her age.
Of course, when Colleen saw Lucy, she gravitated to the baby and virtually disregarded her own granddaughter in favor for Liz's daughter. "Mom, do you want to hold Bridget?" Jack asked, offering his own daughter to Colleen like he was handing her a cat.
"She smells weird," Colleen said without breaking her focus on Lucy, who had discovered the brooch on her lapel.
"The nanny just changed her," Jack explained.
"Doesn't mean that she doesn't smell weird," Colleen replied dismissively.
Later on, Lucy fell asleep on Colleen's shoulder, and neither seemed the slightest put off by it. Liz and Jack resorted to the kitchen while Avery and Bridget went out for a walk because Avery was upset by Colleen's rejection of her daughter. "Colleen seems quite taken by Lucy," Jack observed.
Liz peered around the corner at Colleen and Lucy. "She does," she stated simply.
"How is it, doing it by yourself?" Jack asked as he handed Liz a sparkling water.
Liz took a swig of water and exhaled deeply. "I thought it was going to be a lot tougher than it actually is," she finally answered.
"Really? How so?"
"It's just Lucy and me. No husband, no ties other than work, it's nice and easy. There isn't all this fuss in raising Lucy like what you two appear to have put into raising Bridget."
"That would be Avery's doing," Jack corrected her. "She wants Bridget to have everything."
"I get that… I just don't know how you two can bear to be away from Bridget, letting someone else have all the fun that comes with raising babies," Liz remarked.
"You think the messes, the sleepless nights, the stress, the worry, and all the other hassles that come with raising a child are fun?"
"What's the point of having kids if you're going to have someone else raise them for you?"
When Liz left later on that afternoon, she knew that things between her and Jack were probably going to end soon. Motherhood had taken her life a different route, somewhere where she hadn't anticipated being at this point in her life, but for once, she's decided that she was going to let this run its course.
