Breaking Yawn.
Basically Sherlock ranting about Twilight. Enjoy!
Breaking Dawn? More like Breaking Yawn. Was Molly out of her mind!? I wasn't going to sit through hours and hours of that supernatural romance crap for anyone. Even if she had promised me that it would be worth it afterwards.
Why on earth would I want to see Breaking Dawn Part 2 with her? She made me sit through hours and hours of Bella staring vacantly at Edward with her default expression of constipation before and that never went well.
The only person in the whole Saga I had any respect for was Renee. That right get married and send the preposterous girl to the wolf infested forests of Forks, get rid of her whilst you still can! Quickly before the great depression comes when she sits in that chair for 3 months straight without food or water… hell even a shower for god's sake. With that personal hygiene no wonder he left her.
And that Edward Pattinson can just stop. Who in their right mind would marry her? For one she can't even speak properly without drooling, leaving a large puddle of spit in her wake every time he's around. Not to mention that slouch she's developing with all that time spent hunched over her laptop going through all those fake Vampire sites that offend my eyes.
Pathetic.
I wouldn't mind at all but apart from being hideously inaccurate it says nothing for feminism. The woman can't live for two seconds without Edward, and then as soon as he leaves she leeches onto the shiny wolf boy with the tendency to strip every few scenes, leaving Molly speechless except for a few muffled squeals. (Bit like some of my crazy fans really.)
Jacobs another person who should get out while he still can, before Bella pops out the Loch Ness monster he becomes obsessed with. (Which might I add looks incredibly fake also.) Bella was quite right to push him into a tree. Bit creepy really, not like a 'wolf' thing at all.
Plus Molly compared me to Edward. Edward 'Shiny vampire' Cullen. Apparently he's sullen and romantic like me and she thinks that's why she never sees me in the sun. Just because I have 'sensitive skin'. If I were a pretty vampire like that then bursting into flames would be a much better fate then marrying her, and being shiny. Ugh.
And she wants me to see Twilight with her. How ridiculous.
Well that was fun. Hope you enjoyed it!
By the way, this may surprise you but I actually do like a bit of Twilight, but I thought it would be fun to think what Sherlock thinks about the series! Leave a review if you do so wish!
Thanks guys.
