This is a total crack fic. There is OOC-ness, no plot, historical accuraccy is thrown out the window and the grammar is not my best. It was inspired by an Avenue Q song and I take most of the dialogue from said song. I had fun writing it though, so I hope you enjoy it!

I don't own anything.

William Turner II, Port Royal's finest blacksmith sat down on a comfortable armchair in his house next to his smithy.

"Aah, an evening alone with my favorite book, Robinson Crusoe," Will said to himself. "All my work is done, Jack's not here to bother me. How could it get any better than this?"

As soon as he spoke, Jack Sparrow burst through the door. "Hello Will!" he greeted the blacksmith.

"Hello, Jack," Will dully said. Why had Jack come to bug him today?

"Will, you will never deduct what happen to me at a tavern yesterday."

Will grunted before attempting to start reading his book. He didn't care what Jack did at taverns. For the sake of what was left of his innocence, he didn't want to know.

"This man was smilin' at me and talkin' to me," continued Jack.

"That's very interesting," commented Will, not sounding interested and opening his book.

"He was being real forthcoming," Jack pressed on. "I think he was coming on to me! I think he might have thought I was gay!"

"Ahem, so why are you telling me this?" asked Will. "Why should I care. I don't care! I am going to read my book."

"You don' have to get so defensive about it," said Jack, innocently raising his hands up.

"I am NOT getting defensive!" snapped Will. "What do I care about some gay guy you met? I'm trying to read!"

"I didn't mean anything by it!" said Jack keeping up his innocent mask. "I just anticipated that this we could be able to talk about."

"I don't want to talk about it," said Will simply. "This conversation is over." He returned to his book.

"Yeah, but…"

"Over!"

"Will, alright, but so you know," Jack paused before adopting a sing-song tone. "If you were gaythat'd be okay. I mean 'cause, hey, I'd like you anyway. Because you see, if it were me, I would feel free to say that I was gay (But I'm not gay.)"

"Jack, please! I am trying to read...." said Will, going back to his book.

Jack walked over to Will and poked him on the shoulder. "What?!" snapped Will turning around.

"If you were queer."

"Oh, God!"

"I'd still be here."

"Jack, I'm trying to read this book," Will tapped the book to emphasis his point.

"Year after year!"

"Jack!"

"Because you're dear to me!"

"You must be drunk." Will decided to do the mature thing and walk away. He tried to walk to his bedroom, but Jack was faster than him, and sauntered over to the door way. He effectively blocked Will's access to his own bedroom.

"I know you, would accept me too!If I told you today, 'HEY! Guess what, I'm gay!' (But I'm not gay.)"

"I would?" asked Will, leaning back when he smelled Jack's disgusting breath.

"So what should it matter to me what you do in bed with other men?"

"Jack, that's revolting!" Will tried to walk out the front door, but Jack blocked him again.

"No it's not! If you were gay I'd shout hooray!"

"I am not listening!" Will walked back to his arm chair and flopped back on it.

"And here I'd stay." Jack tried to sit on Will's lap, but Will pushed him off, disgusted and confused

"I give up!"

"But I wouldn't get in your way."

"Argh!"

"You can count on me to always be beside you every day, to tell you it's okay, you were just born that way, and, as they say, you're gay!"

"BUT I'M NOT GAY!"

"If you were gay."

"Aaaah!"

Review, please. Critique is welcomed.