A/N: Before you start: ONE SHOT! I do not want this to be the way things happen. It's just something funny that showed up in my head one evening once long ago and has sat on my brain and consequently my computer for an indeterminable amount of time (approximately seven months :P ). I will not be expanding on this. No, "but Mousey-" No. "But I-" "No." "Please?" NO! ONE SHOT! No soup for you!
. . . .
. . . Well, maybe if you asked really, really nicely in a review. . . but odds are, unless one of you comes up with enough inspiration or I suddenly get struck by lightning and am divinely inspired to continue forward on this track. . . the answer is probably no. I've got too many abandoned projects and stories that I should be returning to soon instead of expanding this one. If someone else wants to try adding to this, contact me and I'll let you. But This. Is. A. One-Shot. =D Sorry. *shrugs* I seem to be convincing myself of this more than anyone else. . . .
Disclaimer: I own the beginnings of what could be an interesting story if I let it be, but even that is small in comparison to the macroscope of who owns what in the Superman universe. So, without further ado. . .
*****S*****
"Clark, come on. Please?"
"N-no Lois," he stated, flustered, but firm.
"Why not? What's the big deal?"
"Everyone will s-see me," he spoke quickly, not thinking entirely straight.
"So? You can't look any worse underneath that god-awful suit than you do wearing it. Besides, it's beach day, and it's a hundred and three degrees out with seventy percent humidity. And the entire rest of the staff from the Daily Planet are participating, too. Off with the shirt."
Clark sighed. As it was, he had already forgone the suit- both of them- and was now wearing a mere tee shirt and swim trunks. He didn't like this. In the past, he'd always found an excuse not to go. But since technically this was a celebration over the survival of Superman, and there happened to be no need for Superman at the moment- and especially since Clark needed the R&R more than anyone else- he had reluctantly agreed to come.
Now he was beginning to regret that decision.
He would have been fine, if it weren't for Lois bugging him. The more she asked him to get in the water and enjoy himself, the more he wanted to, and the more attention he was attracting. But he knew how people's minds worked. And although he could fool people in a frumpy suit and giant glasses as he stumbled over nothing in the bullpen, well-chiselled abs and a strongly built frame wasn't going to fly. Well, metaphorically speaking.
Not to mention the fact that he had a pretty nasty scar on his side.
How much evidence would they need to put all of the pieces together? Was it really just the glasses that hid it all? Would it take him flying across the bullpen in his regular work attire to convince them all of the truth?
"Earth to Clark?" Lois raised her hand and waved it in front of his face. He blinked a few times and snapped out of it. "Come on," she cried impatiently. "And people say I'm uptight about work."
"Lois, I c-can't."
"Why not? Allergic to taking your shirt off? Or, I know, you forgot you had some errand to run to some obscure location and it has to be done within the next half hour, right?"
Clark looked even more flustered than before. Everyone knew Clark was famous for his excuses and running off at odd times throughout the day, on a daily basis. Some people took bets on it- what time he'd be back by, whether his excuse for the day would be about something he left on in his house or inside his nonexistent car, whether he'd come back smelling of smoke or with lipstick on his collar (usually it was the former). Of course, Clark was oblivious to this innocent gambling, but he always figured that somebody would guess right someday. He just didn't want it to be in his lifetime.
"N-n-no," he stammered. "I-it's j-just that. . . I-I'm scared of the water." He looked down sheepishly, embarrassed that he still hadn't told Lois the truth about his identity. In situations like this, it would be helpful if she knew.
Lois looked at him with her jaw hanging open. Clark Kent? Afraid of water? Of guns, bad guys, being late to anything other than his job- sure. But water? "That's absurd, Clark."
"What's absurd?" Jimmy asked cheerfully as he walked up behind them, joining the conversation.
"Clark here's afraid of the water, and he refuses to get in."
"Who refuses to get in what?" Perry approached, hearing the voices increase in both volume and in curious nature. Clark groaned. This was getting to be too much.
"CK's scared of the water," Jimmy explained to their boss.
Much to his surprise, Perry White merely shrugged. "I can't say that shocks me," he stated simply.
"What?" Lois exclaimed.
"Lois, honey, think about it. Have you ever, in all the years you've known him, seen Clark in anything other than his baggy three piece business suit? He's always covered head-to-toe." Clark shifted uncomfortably under Perry's scrutinous gaze and simple statements. "Makes since, really. He never came to the beach parties before. Probably avoiding the pressure. Leave the poor kid alone."
Lois, Clark and Jimmy were all equally stunned. Jimmy recovered first. "I guess he did grow up in Kansas. I take it there's not much water there," he joked.
Clark still seemed flabbergasted, contemplating if his boss knew about his secret and was quietly coming to his rescue.
Lois shook her head. "Nuh-uh. I don't take no for an answer, for anything. Even Jason's out there, splashing around in the water. There's gotta be a better reason, Smallville."
"There is," he said quietly, recovering. "When I was a kid, back on the farm, we had a pond. It froze over in the winter time, and I used to go skating out on it. One time I went during school and no one knew I was out there, and I went out on the ice-"
"Wait a minute," Lois broke in. "Did you just gloss over the fact that you were skipping school? Clark Kent was a bad boy who skipped school?" She grinned.
Clark instantly reddened. "Yeah, well it just so happened that I hated my fourth grade gym teacher." Jimmy burst out with laughter, Lois and Perry following suit. "Anyways, I went out on the ice and it turns out it wasn't as thick as I thought it was and I broke through the ice in the middle of the pond and went under. I couldn't get out, I had somehow gotten away from the hole I had fallen through and I began to panic. Luckily I managed to find my way back and pulled myself out. But it was a pretty big scare for me and my parents. I almost died out there, I was under for almost two minutes."
Lois looked surprised by the story. "I'll say they were scared. They think their kid's at school one minute and the next he comes in drenched in ice cold water and crying, having almost drowned? I'd be furious if Jason pulled a stunt like that," though she thought to herself, he could probably survive that sort of situation, given that he was the son of Superman. She suspected he never would have any trouble with getting stuck under some ice. "Did you get in trouble?"
Clark shifted. "Sort of. They were torn- glad I was alive, and angry that I'd do something so incredibly stupid. And of course, the whole skipping school thing only compounded it. They grounded me for a week."
"And I'm sure you were a good boy and never skipped school again your entire life," Lois piped up with a good-humored, mocking tone.
Clark grinned wickedly. "Not for ice skating."
They laughed, Jimmy nudging him in the elbow mischeviously. "Well," Perry finally spoke, "On a more serious note, I guess that explains the fear of water. I guess we'd better leave you to have your peace." His boss clapped him on the shoulder good humoredly and walked off, leaving Clark wondering once again if he knew.
"I guess that does explain a lot," Jimmy agreed. "But how come you never told us about this?"
Clark looked down, a brief flash of fear entering into his eyes that puzzled Lois slightly. "It's not something I like to talk about. Almost dying. It's not exactly a conversation starter."
"Nonsense," Lois quipped. "It's the perfect way to break the ice." She was gratified by another burst of laughter from the young photographer next to them. Clark, however, was not as pleased. "Seriously, though, Clark. What other stories have you kept from us? Nothing news-worthy, I suppose?"
He smiled, but flinched in the slightest. He hadn't told them the whole story of that as it was. That his higher body heat had melted the ice underneath him when he'd stopped for a second. That, having released his breath under the ice in his state of panic, he refroze the surface of pond and couldn't get out. That it had taken an extreme burst of super strength to get himself out of there and he had gone into his house staring at his parents with a look of bewilderment and fright.
"No, nothing really news-worthy, Lois."
Satisfied, she continued as Jimmy walked off and began to eat his lunch. "Good. But Clark, you've got to get over this stupid fear of the water. And I'm just the person to help you with that." She shot him a cheeky grin.
"N-no Lois. I can't."
"Clark, let me ask you something. You take showers, don't you? Or baths?"
"Yes," he grumbled, knowing what she was doing. She wasn't Perry's favorite reporter at the Planet for nothing.
"And you wash your hands after using the bathroom?"
"Ye-es."
"And you've stood in the rain before, right?"
"Yeah, Lois, I have. But this is different."
"This is no different, Clark. When's the last time you actually got into the water, apart from these occassions?"
He opened his mouth, then shut it promptly. He couldn't exactly tell her he had nearly drowned in these very same waters a week ago, thanks to Lex Luthor and his green kryptonite dagger. That was the last time, though, and he felt bad about lying to her too much. So he went with the closest thing to the truth possible. "The last time I almost drowned."
"Clark! How do you even know that you couldn't handle it, then? It's been years since then! Decades! Get your sorry little a-"
"Surprisingly, Lois, that wasn't the last time I almost drowned," he cut in, noticing the worried glances that were turning their direction.
She appeared floored. "Seriously, Clark? How? How many times does a person have to almost drown in a lifetime, before you learn your lesson and learn how to swim?"
"Four times," he admitted with a blush.
"F-four?" she spluttered. "Four times? Clark, how is that even possible?"
He shrugged. "I told you I had a good reason for not liking water." If truth be told, about half of those times had been because someone had tried to kill him- Luthor only being the most recent. The other two were when he had been attempting to freeze and melt the same pond with his breath and heat vision, and the other was when he had his first real encounter with kryptonite- after which he lost his ability to fly and crashed into the Pacific Ocean. His head had been too dizzy to try to swim, and he was lucky those fishermen picked him up when they did.
"No. Unacceptable. I am teaching you how to swim, and you are going to get over this fear of water. Geez, Clark, it's a miracle you haven't drowned in the bathtub by now. I mean, I always knew you were clumsy, but this is ridiculous."
"L-Lo-"
"Don't you 'Lois' me, Clark. I'm not letting you out of my sight until we've broken this bad habit. You just got back from your stupid five year trip around the world. I can't lose my best friend and partner again just because he slipped and fell into a pool and couldn't get out."
Clark opened and closed his mouth repeatedly. He didn't know what to say to that. For one, he was flattered that she cared about him so much that she was going to teach him to swim- even if it was in typical Lois Lane fashion. On the other hand, he was kind of bummed that she didn't look on him as more than a friend. He shook his head. She wasn't looking for that right now. She had only just broken up with Richard- saying only that they needed a break, but everyone knew it was the beginning of the end for them.
So Clark would content himself with the title of "best friend" for now.
He found himself being pulled towards the water, and complained loudly. If she only knew that it wasn't the water he was scared of. It was getting found out.
Unluckily for Clark, he couldn't resist following her to the water. After all, it was Lois- and she was in a bathing suit. Offering to teach him how to swim. Also unlucky was the fact that she argued for his shirt to come off once again, protesting that if this didn't go well, which she had no intention of happening, he would at least want to have some dry clothes.
Luckily for Lois, Clark finally gave in.
She hadn't been looking when he had removed the shirt itself, respecting his very modest Midwestern values, but once it was off she permitted herself to look. And hot damn.
Somewhere in the very back of her mind she was aware that she was staring, probably with a look of shock and amazement occupying her features. But really, when a guy looked that good, did it matter? Eyes wide, she followed the muscular pattern- from his broad shoulders to his pectorals and down across his incredible six pack abs, right up to the waistband of his swim trunks. Drinking in the sight of perhaps the most gorgeous body she had ever seen. Ever. Even Superman didn't count, because she didn't remember that time- though she imagined the two men would be neck in neck.
Hot damn.
Clark politely cleared his throat as he shifted his weight. That broke Lois's reverie, and she quickly turned to face the water to hide her growing blush and stalking off firmly, knowing that he would follow. The revelation stood out in her mind: Clark Kent was a hunk. How could she never know this? The man had worked at her side for years, and he had always had a hopeless crush on her- if she had only said yes, maybe just one time, then maybe things would have been different with her life. . . and she might have been with the sexiest man on earth. How could she ever think of him like a little brother ever again? Clark was someone that needed protecting, huh? Yeah right. With that one look, gone was Clark Kent- mild mannered reporter, replaced by Clark Kent- sexy beast. How could she have never seen it? Even his face was good-looking, when he wasn't in that gaudy suit and tripping over himself every two seconds- was it really just the outfit that hid that beautiful body, his beautiful features, and very fine physique from the rest of the world?
And why the hell would he try to hide it? When you got something like that, you flaunt it.
There was something familiar about it all though. It was beginning to hurt her head, seeing him like this. She had the distinct feeling that she had seen him like this before, years before, but could not for the life of her imagine why she felt this way. She closed her eyes briefly, trying to picture a better looking man, and an image of Superman flashed through her mind. First clothed, then not-so clothed. She opened her eyes, and let out an inaudible gasp as she was greeted by the same image as the one in her head. Only, she discovered as she looked up towards his face, Superman was wearing Clark Kent's glasses.
He was saying something to her, his lips moving effortlessly as she stared at them. She heard her name vaguely, and shook her head as though to clear the sight of him from it. "I'm sorry. What were you saying?"
He frowned. "Lois, are you alright? You look kinda pale. You don't look too good."
"You do," she said, before she was able to stop it from escaping. "Whoa. What's going on?"
He looked at her strangely. "Are you okay?" he repeated, getting a little bit nervous.
"You tell me," she whispered, a strange note in her voice.
"Lois, you're not making any sense. What's going on? Are you feeling lightheaded? Is it a headache? Heat stroke? Tell me, please."
"You're the genius with x-ray vision. You tell me," she repeated, a certain hardness entering into her tone. Clark paled dramatically, shifting on his feet, but not removing his frightened gaze from her own. There was a tense silence between them for about a minute.
Then the catcalls started up.
"Kent!" Cat Grant called out, after whistling at him. "Where've you been all these years? Hiding from me, were you?" She grinned wickedly.
They began attracting more and more attention. Lois shot her coworkers an irritated glance. Clark blushed ferociously. He turned around to face them, provoking more calls and whistles from his coworkers as he presented them with his front side. Even his back is muscular. . . no, Lois firmly corrected herself. I'm mad at him right now. He didn't tell me. He should have told me. Why didn't he tell- Wait a minute. What is that? She found her eyes drawn to the recently healed stab wound that had scarred over- a darkened mark that marred his otherwise perfect body. She had pulled that out of him- saved his life, she remembered- only it wasn't him at the time. Er, it was. Not. Was. What the hell?
"Clark," she whispered, so quietly that no one could have possibly heard her, except the man of steel himself. "I know you can hear me. Is there anyway you can get us all out of here before this gets any worse? Without letting them know everything about you, and us, if you don't mind."
He gratified her by inclining his head slightly.
*****S*****
A/N: I didn't know how else to end it. Sorry. That's all I'm giving you (for now. . . if you can make a convincing enough argument in your review, I might return to this. . . but that's a super-sized "if". . . ) Please read and review!
