Chapter 1- Lost and Found
Stumbling down the dark alleys scraping bleeding fingers across grimy stone walls. Feet threatened to buckle beneath him but he continued stubbornly forward, tripping over clattering obstructions until he landed face first in the muddy dirt. He shoved the mud off his face as he rose, clawing his way up the bricks in a futile effort to support himself. Breath came shallow and quick, feeling something constrict in his stomach reminding him of starvation. He wasn't sure what to think at this point, unable to grasp a single thred of thought amongst the masses whirling inside his empty head. He reached out for one and tumbled forward again cracking his head against unyielding cement wiping his senses with ripples of white hot pain. Nothing made sense anymore. What was he doing here, where the hell was he to begin with?
Above the moonglow throttled his head with another assault of pain, the dimmest of lights seering what sight remained in his retinas. Slowly he rolled over onto his back, scraping at the loose grains of asphalt dotting the sidewalk as if he were gathering up the pieces of himself he'd scattered. Roxas screamed, clawing viciously at his wrists tearing at his hair, convulsing and bucking, contorting this way and that like he were a rubber snake. Everything hurt so fucking bad he couldn't even begin to imagine waking up from this nightmare. There was no waking up. He was trapped, trapped! He screamed again as darkness engulfed his body and fingertips spouted blood tearing them against invisible walls desperate to find a break in the abyss that would allow for escape.
Strong arms seized his shoudlers roughly pulling him from the throes of the nightmare's grasp and shaking him back to reality. His head lolled limply back and a swift smack burned his cheeks. Roxas moaned weakly, the only sound he could manage. There was no telling what state his beaten little body was in, he wasn't even sure what was going on anymore. Touches checked his vital signs only to find nothing. He was heartless after all. There was nothing to sense, nothing to feel. He wasn't supposed to feel. That's what he was supposed to be anyway.
"--y...-ey! ..ou... kay..?"
"Mnghh..." Roxas couldn't respond, he couldn't barely make out the voice speaking to him. It was male, he could tell that much. He felt himself beginning to fall again. Down, down, down into the darkest of descents. He couldn't will himself to open his eyes, to wake, to live. All he wanted to was succumb to this numbing darkness around him. It would be so much easier that way. To just give up and die, to just forget about it all and lose himself to the darkness.
His nerves shot awake as some sticky substance poured over his face flooding his nose forcing him to his knees to cough and sputter up the foreign substance. It stank like ancient whiskey potent after sitting for some numerous decades. Finally coaxing his eyes open enough to see straight Roxas saw it indeed was a bottle of whiskey clutched in a slender bony hand. He traced thick veins up to fair skin even farther up to slender shoudlers supporting a head crowned with flaming spikes inset with mischievious emerald eyes slightly glazed from inebriation.
"You alive now?" the man asked, reaching down to yank the smaller boy to jelly legs wrapping an arm tight around his waist in attempt to keep him up. The way he stumbled and staggered it was a mircle the man could even hold himself up. Roxas shied from his touch, throwing off the man's grasp only to fall back to the ground again. He could feel his nerves slowly starting to crawl back into his control. The buzzed man leaned against the wall and settled for letting the stubborn ingrate pick himself up despite his efforts to be selfless. Roxas slowly did pick himself up, leaning back against a telephone pole and clinging to it desperatly to keep himself upright.
"T-Thanks.." his tongue felt two sizes too big to fit his mouth and it slid sloppily everytime he tried to speak.
"Sure." the redhead eyed him appreciatively. "Long night?" Roxas felt his face burn indignantly once he finally came to realize what the other was insinuating. The boy's pants were undone and hanging very loosely on his hips aching to expose the boy to the world. The shirt he wore had been torn in several places covered in grime and mud and blood, haphazardly buttoned and his hair had fallen from it's uniform plume to tangle and stick up at odd angles as if he'd just come from a sweaty bedroom.
"I'm no slut." Roxas slurred.
"Nah." the redhead took a long swig from his bottle. "Just a stoner."
"And you're just a drunkard." he countered, "so we're even." To that Roxas expected a furious retort but all the redhead did was shrug and flash a smug, satisfied little grin.
"Yeah, I guess we are. So, kid, you wanna come back to my joint and sober up before you become part of the road?" he jerked a thumb over his shoulder to bright headlights flying down the road. Roxas clenched his eyes against the vicious assault, whispering a meager agreement. It wasn't like he had anywhere else to go.
"And it isn't kid." Roxas snarled, "I do have a name. It's Roxas."
"Axel." the other pressed a finger into Roxas's forehead. "Commit it to memory."
The redhead's apartment, if one wanted to be so gracious enough to call it that, stank of alcohol, tobacco, and rough sex. There was a torn up old couch pushed against one wall in front of an ancient television faintly buzzing as if threatening to implode at any given moment. A claustrophobic kitchen area was to the right of the door and through there was an even more cramped hallway leading to what the blonde boy assumed was a bathroom. Axel kicked his shoes off and left them where they landed, throwing himself down on the couch kicking up a long leg over the side letting the other drape off the side. Roxas couldn't help but flush, the man was flexible.
Axel pointed to the hallway. "The bathroom's in there. Not much to it but it's there. Next to it is the bedroom." here he paused mustering the most elfish grin he could, "hope you don't mind close quarters. I share it with another guy." Roxas didn't want to exactly know what he was implying by that. Seconds later a huge man lumbered out from the tiny hallway, his bald head practically shining with sweat sparkling under the flickering overhead lights. He didn't so much as glance in their direction before taking his leave.
"Who was that?" Roxas ventured that must have been Axel's roommate.
"My roomate's fuck toy." he replied nonchalantly, rising to his feet and throwing off his shirt and pants down to a pair of tattered red boxers. "It's safe to go to bed now." It wasn't a comment, it was a command. Roxas rose and followed the lanky redhead into the other room as best he could. His body had begun to shut down at this point, exhausted beyond the point of breaking. He shuffled into the bedroom and crawled slowly into the messy bed, barely acknowledging the presence of another man already occupying the tight space. All he could see of the man was a scratched up black and a trail of long crimson hair. His sweaty flushed skin rose and fell with the rhythm of deep sleep. It suited Roxas just fine. He wasn't feeling particularly social at this point.
Weight bounced the bed as Axel nestled himself beteween Roxas and whoever the other man was, talking idely to himself ashe drew up the silky blankets and drifted into lazy respite. Roxas slid his eyes shut, laying awake in the darkness of his eyelids unable to coax himself into rest though his body ached. The stench of fresh sex stung his nose, he couldn't imagine what he'd just gotten hismelf into. Anythign was better than that place though.. better than being raped every night. Fixing one addiction in order to recieve another. It had worn him more this time.. he needed it so badly. For tonight all he could do was grace his body with some degree of care and allow himself to willingly sleep. Until the morning rose and the vicious cycle began again.
