So, this, as you can obviously tell, is a Simon & Jeanette little one-shot. I've been debating for some time whether or not to have written this for Alvin & Brittany (only because I absolutely adore them), and I finally made up my mind. Honestly, this situation fitted Simon & Jeanette a lot better...
Anyway! I hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Alvin and the Chipmunks.
If only for just a second, he'd give her a glance. That's all she needed.
Her small heart couldn't reach many—it was too shy. That's what she believed, and she didn't mind it much, for as long as she reached just one person, she'd be fine. But in all reality, it reached further than she ever was capable with her vocals; even through speakers, her heart reached out more than her own voice could echo.
The attention didn't bother her, but it wasn't appraised in her present. She never felt disgraced about herself, yet she never seemed to find the confidence that ran through her veins. Some thought and viewed her as a shadow; they viewed her as the shadow in her sisters' walks. Yet what they never saw was that she stood on her own podium, just like her sisters. They each had their own spotlight. Sure, sometimes the spotlight was the shadow of the moon on some, while other times, it was the shadow of the sun. But they each had and were their own.
No one truly ever saw this—no one. But he did…and she didn't know it. She was too blind to notice. Despite the glasses that cleared her blurred sight through her emerald irises, it didn't clarify the tunnel vision that veiled her eyes.
Any time she'd get the chance to walk by him in the halls, she'd take it. Holding hands was something she wouldn't mind, but walking side by side as simply friends didn't bother her either. Just as long as he saw her…noticed her…she'd be fine.
She didn't need anything fancy. She didn't care much for those things. Her appearance was the one thing that comforted her. Whenever she looked in the mirror, she could see her true self. Whenever she saw the echoed image, she knew that this was who she was, and that she had nothing to hide.
But even though she always showed her true colors and she saw her own beauty that emerged from her soul—all of those things didn't affect her poise. She was so sure about who she was, yet she wasn't sure about what others saw when they looked at her. And that was the only thing that stopped her. She didn't want to be something that she knew wasn't her…but what if what others saw when they actually looked at her wasn't who she saw when she looked at herself?
She was afraid that the girl she viewed and respected as herself wouldn't be seen and treated the same way by others. And that's what stopped her from ever detecting the confidence that always was inside of her.
Sighing, she stared down at the ground. She could hear fading voices chattering. She heard everything. She knew what people said whenever she walked by, and she knew what people thought of each other.
Some days she wished she could just turn the sound off.
Bringing her gaze up, compressed by all the sounds—all the voices, speaking so loudly in her ears—she finally was able to find her silence. As soon as he walked into view, everything and everyone got tuned out. He was walking by his brothers like he usually did during this time of day at school.
She couldn't help but tug lightly at her attire. Pursing her thin lips, she clutched her books tightly to her chest. As she planned everything out in her mind, getting prepared, she quickly halted in her steps and turned on her heel. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea. She shook her head. But all she was really planning on doing was saying "hello." So why shouldn't she? They were fairly good friends…so it was normal to greet one another whether it be in the halls of a school or on some plane to New York. So why was she getting all…nervous? He always said "hi" to her. So why couldn't she? She should be comfortable to talk to him by now. How long was it she's known him? Ten, nine, or eight years?
Biting her bottom lip, she looked up at the talking people. She needed her sisters. Where were they? Maybe if she was walking by them, she'd feel more comfortable and be able to find her voice when she passed him…
As she scanned the crowded groups of people, talking with big broad smiles, she finally caught sight of her two sisters. They were standing by their lockers and watching her…waiting. She beckoned them with her eyes for help. All her sisters, Brittany and Eleanor did, was: for Brittany she crossed her arms and cocked one eyebrow while Eleanor grinned brightly and motioned for her to go on. Their mouths began to move, communicating with one another, but her ears couldn't catch their words 'nor could she read their lips.
Tilting her head lightly at them, she could catch one word that both of her sisters finally mouthed to her once they noticed she still stood there like a statue: "Go on."
She could feel her leg muscles straining her to turn around, but she forced them to stay put. After a few more seconds, she finally gave up on her sisters and exhaled out a panicked breath, relieving her hunched shoulders from pulling up to her ears.
Feeling her heartbeat catch up to the thousand words that echoed after each other, leaving no space or room for a bit of silence, Jeanette finally gave in and turned around. As her eyes scanned the crowded halls, she froze. He was getting so close… Her heart began to panic, locking her voice in her throat. As she mustered up all the courage she could find in her, she straightened herself and stood as tall as she could, walking towards him.
Almost instinctively as soon as he was in range for her to reach out and touch him, she glanced around for an escape. Anything would do for her—if she really needed to, she'd walk right into the Men's Restroom if she needed to! As her desperation began to break under the pressure and her realization soon became her worst nightmare, her body became paralyzed—the only thing moving: her legs. To her dismay, all of her exits and escape routes had already passed right by her. She'd already crossed the line, and there was no going back.
He was getting so CLOSE!
She couldn't believe how much fear that was building up around her—she was practically drowning! How was she even breathing?
Her voice. Where was her voice?! She needed her voice. She felt as though she couldn't remember how to speak. She felt so helpless. Was her so called "plan" really going to end this way?—was it not actually going to work at all? Saying "hello" really shouldn't have been this hard for her…she used to always say it to him after all. In fact, she said it to him practically every day of her life.
He was practically right next to her now!
"Hi Simon!" her voice shot out along with an uneasy smile (any kind of smile would do for her—just as long as her face didn't look so constipated or in pain…).
Her arm brushed against his lightly.
He was past her now.
Blinking her eyes shielded by her glistening glasses, her pace slowed. She couldn't believe it. Her voice actually spoke out… Just in the nick of time, too! She let out a relieved breath of air…but a frown soon began to tug at the corners of her lips.
He didn't even look at her… She could've sworn she managed to catch a "—oh, hey, Jeanette—" through his conversation directed towards his brothers, but that was it. That was all that came out of his mouth—and it almost sounded robotically, too. Lightly shrugging her shoulders, all of her adrenaline released itself from her blood, and her heartbeat settled down. Pursing her lips, not daring to look back, behind her shoulders, she bravely walked on.
It was okay. She still had tomorrow…and the day after, to walk on by him.
All she could hear were voices in her mind—and not one of them were his. It broke her heart a little, but she was fine. Her heart wasn't scarred or anything. Her heart breaking a little didn't hurt her because she knew it would be fixed. And at the moment, she didn't need any fixing because she already did it. She may not have known her heart like the back of her hand, but she was learning.
This is what came with love—having her heart break. Not every love was perfect, and she knew that. Of all the things she understood, love wasn't exactly considered one of them. In fact—in all of her honesty that consumed her, she didn't even know why she even loved him (at least that's what she was figuring it to be). She didn't exactly have reason to…love, him…did she?
She let a soft sigh escape her lips. Maybe she should just give up on him…
Sure, he recognized her—but did he look at her the same way she looked at him? It was fine if he didn't…after all, he did have a choice. It wasn't hers to make it for him. And who would she be if she was controlling what wasn't hers to start with? As long as they were friends—that would satisfy her enough.
If only he could read all of the secrets that whispered in her eyes…
As she sucked in a new breath of air, filling her body with a new found confidence, she managed to grace her lips with a small, gentle smile.
What was she talking about? She did have every reason to love him. And that's why she'll never stop. She could never stop caring for him… After all: she'd rather be friends with him than nothing at all.
As she walked on, she kept that thought close to her frail heart with more strength that ever was consumed by any other. She had every day to be able to walk past him. She had so many opportunities.
And even if he never blinked twice, or even once at her—she'd keep walking on by him.
Now if she only hadn't pushed her urge to turn around away, she would've seen that he did hear her soft voice clearly—and that he did turn to glance back at her, hoping with every bone that stabilized his body that she'd turn around just so he could see her smile.
If she turned around, she would've seen him run into the many people that crowded the hallways, making a big fool of himself.
If only she knew he looked forward to everyday because she always was there to walk on by.
So, I'm obviously no expert in this couple-but I really hope you weren't gorging your eyeballs out because of this!
Reviews are highly appreciated!
Thanks so much for reading! :D
