Chapter 1- Elections & Complex Emotions
This could not be happening. There was just no way, no possible way it could really be true. Surely this was a joke? It had, after all, begun as a kind of joke, but she had never dreamed it could ever go this far as to become a reality. But such is the nature of all things ultimately; everything is impossible until its done. Then it becomes inevitable. And as the night dragged on, and more and more of the state's returns came in, the election of Donald Trump seemed to continue to gain more and more of an air of inevitability.
Lauren began to feel the sting of salty wetness building up just behind her eyes as her vision went blurry, and she succumbed to the tears. The room was getting smaller and smaller as she felt the walls close in on her. It was becoming more and more difficult to breath. Dios Mio! How could this have happened? What did it mean? What was going to happen to her? I'm going to be deported, she thought to herself miserably. All of these friends that I'v made, my education, my future… It will all have been for nothing. I'll have to work the fields, and with Trump's new wall, there won't be any way for me to escape back into the country to see my friends again. I'll lose everything. How could these white people do this to me? Maybe Pina was right; maybe Communist revolution was the answer. She was afraid (mainly of losing her private property) but not as afraid as she was of Trump.
"Nothing is certain at this point in the night, but it does appear as if Trump will become our next President ladies and gentlemen", she heard Anderson Cooper announce over the T.V. in the MCC. The tears were flowing freely down her face now and there was nothing she could do to stop them anymore. She sat, alone, on the couch of the MCC silently crying to herself in a room full of people that she could no longer see nor hear. She was lost in her own miserable thoughts; there was nothing else.
This was the scene Francisco saw, as he came back to the couch where him and his very best friend were sitting, after getting seconds from the complimentary Pizza Hut that was being provided for the night. This Pizza is shit, he thought to himself. I wish they had gotten Dominos instead. But the quality of pizza was the least of his concerns that night. Trump was going to be president now, and he feared he may be deported and sent back to the labor camps of El Salvador, where he would be worked to the edge of death under the hot Central American sun. At least I still have two more months to enjoy with Lauren while Obama is president. Thats when he saw her crying.
"Lauren! Whats wrong?" The sight of her tears made his stomach churn. He couldn't stand the thought of her unhappy- She's my best friend. Of course I would be worried about her. I would feel bad if any of my friends were upset. There's nothing weird about this feeling… right? But somewhere in the back of his subconscious he knew this was something entirely different. No. He couldn't exactly say that he would feel this bad if he saw some of his other friends crying. This feeling was something else. Something… more.
"Its Trump!" she choked out. "He's going to be president and I'm going to be deported and I'll never get to see you again!" Something about the sight of Kiko, that she couldn't quite process in the forefront of her mind, made her lose all control. Her silent tears devolved into a full on fit. She was sobbing uncontrollably now. This was her very best friend in the whole world and the thought of never seeing him again made her heart clinch tightly in her chest.
Francisco placed his plate carefully on the ground and put his arms gently but tightly around her, pulling her into a fierce hug. "Don't worry Lauren. Maybe it won't be so bad? Its entirely possible that Trump has merely bamboozled the white electorate into voting for him and doesn't really intend to do any of this stuff, you know?" He told her softly, as he continued to soothingly caress her back. "Why couldn't the Democrats just nominate a halfway decent candidate! Why did they cheat Bernie?! His poll numbers were far better against Trump than Hillary's were. Curse the liberal elite's moderation and placation of the ruling bourgeoisie!" She cried back at him.
"I know what you mean." He lamented. "Perhaps Marx was right in saying that "The oppressed are allowed once every few years to decide which particular representatives of the oppressing class are to represent and repress them". Maybe we should think about joining Pina's communist guerrilla army to oppose American capitalism and neo-fascism."
"I was thinking the same thing actually" she responded, the tears becoming less and less frequent now, and her breathing more and more steady. Something about being in his arms just made her feel as if everything would be ok in the world. "Besides", he said "If you get deported, so will I, and Trump's wall is only suppose to keep people out of America right?" "Right…" she responded uneasily. "Well, that means theres nothing to stop us from going to the same place outside of America" he proclaimed warmly.
"Thats true!" she beamed joyfully back at him. He wiped the last few tears gently from her face with the back of his hand and smiled back at her. "We could go anywhere!" The possibilities were racing through her mind now. The rest of the room faded away for her, the impending Trump presidency forgotten in her mind, and all that was left was her and Kiko, together on that couch, with a world of possibilities and bright futures ahead of them.
"We could go to Australia!" Francisco suggested. "It seems like a pretty awesome place. Pina tells me Australian accents are pretty hot and theres this girl with massive tits who lives over there…" Lauren frowned. She didn't like the sound of Kiko talking about some other girl's tits like that. Wait.. What am I thinking? So what if he looks at other girl's tits? We're just friends… right? Then why does it make me so sad to imagine him with someone else?
"…Whats wrong?" He asked, noticing the change in her demeanor. "Oh… no… nothing. Nothing i'm fine." She lied, putting a smile back on and trying to shove these confusing feelings back into her subconscious. Kiko is just a friend… a really really close friend. Thats all.
"Well theres not just Australia, if you don't like that idea. New Zealand is right next to it and I'v heard its a beautiful place. They filmed Lord of the Rings there!" He said excitedly. By now, however, it was too late for her to push these emotions away. She couldn't help but picture herself and Francisco living together in a cute little Hobbit hole in the ground of some distant, gorgeous meadow somewhere in New Zealand, Of waking up to the morning sun and the smell of a home cooked breakfast waiting for her in her little Hobbit hole, and waiting in the kitchen was…
"I'v seen pictures of the beaches there. They look like so much fun. I haven't been to a beach in forever…" Francisco carried on, completely unaware of Lauren's ongoing inner struggle. His arm around her shoulder was now becoming increasingly difficult to ignore and she felt herself sweating, and the more she thought about sweating the worse it got. Now she was imagining themselves alone on a picturesque beach in some far off land. The sun shining, the waves rolling, the smell of salt in the air, the feel of Kiko's hands rubbing sun tan lotion onto her back, moving lower and lower…
"Oh god!" she yelped uncontrollably. "What? What's wrong?!" he asked worriedly. "I… I… I need to go." This was too much for her to handle. She disentangled herself from his arm and leapt up out of her seat. "Wait!" he protested. "Whats going on? Is something wrong?" He couldn't imagine what had just occurred. "Yes.. I mean No! I don't know… I need some air. I'll see you tomorrow" She leaned forward for a moment on impulse, as if to give him their usual goodbye hug but suddenly relented and awkwardly waved before rushing out of the MCC leaving her jacket behind.
"What the hell just happened?" He asked himself, glued to his seat, clutching her jacket in his hands.
"What the hell just happened?" She asked herself, as she stumbled down the street in the blistering cold of Sewanee, towards home.
