Irrationality, a Eiichi/Nagi

Author: cutiexnagi (tumblr), mikkimikka (ff)
Rating: R or NC-17
Pairing: Eiichi x Nagi
Summary: Eiichi feels really guilty about it but he can't let Nagi go.


Part 1 - Eiichi

"Never have I ever fallen in love."

Because love was irrational and he had his life planned out anyway. Or so he thought.

Ootori Eiichi was going to hell. Really, regardless of anything else this shouldn't be happening but it was.

No matter how much Nagi claimed to want it. No matter how wide he spread his thighs or how vocal his pleas for more were, the fact remained that he couldn't consent.

Eiichi was an adult, 10 years older at that, and he allowed himself to submit. With each thrust he tried to black out his mind but he couldn't. The body was so small but without the curves of a woman. Wherever his hands roamed he could think of nothing but the boy underneath him. His scent was the only thing to reach Eiichi's nose His face and body the only thing he could see.

It was the best feeling in the world physically but the guilt was overwhelming. As he crashed from his high and buried his face in Nagi's shoulder he couldn't think anything but "Yes, this is it!" and "this is so wrong" simultaneously.

"Eiichi?" Nagi asked when the other still hadn't moved.

He nudged Eiichi's shoulder to get the other's weight off of him. Eiichi pulled back, a bit dazed and fazed upon the beautiful flushed body spread before him. He had been rushed, so wired from adrenaline and need that he hadn't paid any attention to what the boy wanted (or didn't want).

Nagi was stil hard and Eiichi felt ashamed for leaving the boy like that after what was his first time. He reached down, nudging Nagi's thighs apart and plunging two fingers into Nagi's moist hole, moving in and out.

"Stop, it feels weird," Nagi said, obviously very sensitive from the previous round, but he still parted his legs further, holding his own thighs.

Eiichi continued his movements, letting his lips land on the soft skinny thighs and then sucking on them lightly. Nagi mewled when Eiichi wrapped his hand around his erection, bucking up into it.

"So this is the advantage of a young partner," Eiichi thought dangerously as his face moved down to lap at Nagi's hole after having pulled his fingers away.

The act was so deplorable and erotic that Eiichi could already feel himself getting hard again and as Nagi was coming Eiichi backed away from the youth so he could roll him onto his stomach before plunging his now revived shaft in. Nagi's fingers clenched at the sheets.

"No," he gasped and Eiichi stopped without pulling out.

"'No' what?" Eiichi asked.

Nagi reached behind him and pushed back on Eiichi's pelvis.

"It hurts," he whined.

Eiichi sighed and pulled out letting Nagi's bottom half drop against the mattress. He supposed enough was enough. Nagi hadn't complained at all the first round but perhaps twice in a row was a bit much. He reclined beside Nagi and pulled him close for a spoon. Nagi didn't react aversely despite Eiichi's erection pressing against his back.

Eiichi was so dazed that the guilt was reduced to a background hum in his brain as he lay there. He let his hand trail across Nagi's smooth thighs and stomach.

"You feel so good," Eiichi whispered in his ear. "Even better than I could imagine."

He leaned over and pulled Nagi's face close for a kiss.

"I'm tired," Nagi whined when Eiichi let his mouth go.

"Sleep then, squirt," Eiichi replied fondly.

He reached down and pulled the sheets they kicked off over Nagi's shoulders. He waited until Nagi fell asleep before getting out of the bed and heading for the shower.

Eiichi let the hot water run over him. He knew it wouldn't was away the wrong that he had done. He also knew that if Nagi was willing he wouldn't stop. It felt so good and even if he knew it was wrong he also felt it somewhere in his heart.

He was utterly irresponsible letting himself fall like that. Even Kira would have been better and yet it didn't happen that way. The longer they spent time together the more he felt it. At first Nagi was just some cute little kid and he still was, but these weren't the proper feelings for some cute kid. No.

If Eiichi found one fan girl his age that thought half the way about Nagi as he did he'd be outraged. Yet, he couldn't stop himself.

Nagi's smiles shot right through him. His laugh was like the tinkling of bells. When he started telling one of his jokes the way his face lit up sent a fire into Eiichi's soul. There was the Nagi on stage and the Nagi at home. Both were precious. Eiichi cherishes though those quiet moments in Kira and Eiichi's dorm when he can see Nagi sprawled on the floor with a pillow working on some homework.

Eiichi turned off the water. That's right, Kira and Nagi's dorm. As the son of Raging Ootori, Eiichi had his own place but Kira and Nagi shared. As he dried off he debate between sending Kira a message to say Nagi fell asleep at his house or just taking him home.

Toweling off his hair he entered the room still naked and smiled to see Nagi in a similar state. The young teen had kicked off the sheets and was sprawled on his stomach still dozing.

Eiichi sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over to stroke Nagi's cheek. The boy's face was like soft smooth silk. He leaned further and kissed his cheek. Nagi still didn't stir. Eiichi smiled a softer expression than his usual smirk. Well, if the kid didn't want to wake then he wouldn't bother him.

He got up and pulled a pair of sweat pants on then checked his phone. There was a LINE message from Kira.

"Can't contact Nagi. Is he with you?"

It was sent about an hour ago. Eiichi typed his reply and pressed send.

"Don't worry. He's with me."

The reply was immediate, "Will you bring him back soon? He has school tomorrow."

Eiichi frowned. Since when was Kira such a mother? Despite the fact he knew Kira could see that he'd read it Eiichi set his phone down and moved to school Nagi back into his arms.

He knew he was being clingy but really couldn't help it. The boy was so cute and had finally, at least the once, became his. Nagi squirmed a bit and Eiichi loosened his hold.

"Eiichi," the boy murmured, eyes fluttering open.

"Yeah? Kira's wondering what time you'll be back."

Eiichi didn't know why but he definitely felt Nagi stiffen at the mention of their other member.

"Kira can go kick rocks," huffed Nagi.

Eiichi chuckled, pulling Nagi closer.

"You didn't fight with Kira did you?"

Nagi turned in Eiichi's arms so they were face to face and also giving his leader the full effect of his pout.

"He treats me like a kid."

Eiichi had to swallow the urge to tell Nagi that he was.

"But you don't," Nagi reached up and ran his fingers over Eiichi's collar bone. "Hey Eiichi?"

"Hmm?"

"If you want to do it again I don't mind. I think I rested enough."

"Really?" Eiichi's voice shook more than he's like it to.

Nagi nodded, rolled on his back and spread his legs. The way he did it so bluntly betrayed his inexperience, but it was exactly what made Eiichi want him more. He set himself into the space between Nagi's legs and began to kiss the boy senseless. Nagi's hands were pulling down his sweatpants so Eiichi paused to help kick them off.

Within moments Eiichi sheathed himself within Nagi's tight heat. He moaned as he rolled his hips and looked down at Nagi beneath him. The boy's eyes were squeezed shut and he was biting on his lower lip. Eiichi griped Nagi's hips and began to move faster causing Nagi's mouth to fall open with a gasp

Eiichi felt as if in a trance. He wanted nothing more than to stay in that moment and watch Nagi's face as he fucked him. Nagi moved to drape his arms over Eiichi's shoulders and gazed up at him with an intense flushed face.

"You're so cute," Eiichi said..

He really wanted to weep. It was just so good.

It was then that his phone began to chime. It was a phone call through LINE.

'Fucking Kira,' Eiichi cursed in his mind but refused to stop his rhythm.

He let it keep ringing and looked down at Nagi's mostly flaccid cock.

'Is he not enjoying this?' he thought as he reached down to stroke it.

It got hard quickly and he continued to stroke it, pausing all of his other movements. Nagi soon was panting and then he came, his whole body arching sharply and then relaxing into near mush.

'Yes, yes like that!' Eiichi thought as he watched him and then resumed his thrusts and followed quickly with an orgasm of his own.

The phone chimed again and Eiichi snatched it from where it sat cradled in the sheets as he pulled out.

"What?" he asked, a bit out of breath.

He looked over at Nagi who had curled onto his side with his back towards him.

"Nagi's here let him sleep.. No, I don't plan to take him to school. You know I have schedules in the morning."

"Kira?" Nagi turned his body and sent Eiichi a questioning look.

Eiichi nodded but continued speaking into the receiver.

"Fine. I don't see why you care so much about the brat but whatever."

"You should shower and dress," Eiichi said, ending the call and throwing the phone on a pillow.

"I'm going hom?"

"Yeah."

"But I wanna stay here with you," protested Nagi.

"Well too bad," Eiichi replied, though really he wanted it too so they could live out the rest of the night on some pretend honeymoon.

Nagi slid out of bed and disappeared to the connecting bathroom.

Eiichi flopped backwards in the bed, figuring he'd dress once Nagi got out. His mind reviewed the events of the past few hours and the past few weeks. Was Nagi being taken advantage of? Was the predator him? Eiichi knew about the dangers of showbiz though and rationalized it.

'It's better me and not one of those old creepy producers.'

He knew the type. He's seen some other idols go through it though being the son of Raging himself he was saved the burden of experiencing it on his own. They traded fame for sexual favors and in this industry people were starved for it. But Nagi wasn't ruined like that. Eiichi would see to it. He's take care of him the way he needed.

Frustrated, Eiichi ran his fingers through his hair. He was in so deep.

Nagi skipped out of the bathroom, hair dripping wet all over the floors and began to dress.

"You have to blow dry your hair," Eiichi instructed.

"Why? I'm just going home."

"Exactly. We don't want Kira to think you bathed here."

"Why not? If he doesn't know he'll just make me shower again."

Eiichi sighed. Nagi didn't understand and he didn't know how to push him to it. But he'd already slept with him and if he's old enough to sleep with he should be old enough to help cover his tracks.

"You know," Eiichi began. "No one can know about this."

"Hmmm?"

"About us. About what we did," clarified Eiichi.

"Oh, I know. Even though I'm totally mature so it shouldn't be a problem," Nagi replied.

"Umm… I meant it. Not even Kira can know."

Nagi got up and went to the bathroom where he began blow drying his hair. After a minute Eiichi followed.

"Why do you react like that when I mention Kira?"

"What?" Nagi turned off the blow dryer and Eiichi repeated his question.

"Well, Kira's one of us so I think he should know."

"One of us?"

"Group mate," Nagi said.

"OK," Eiichi began. "So then what are you and I outside of just group mates?"

"Boyfriends of course since we did it," Nagi replied simply and turned the dryer back on to resume work on his hair.

As much as Eiichi was glad to know they were official, he still wasn't convinced about letting Kira know.

Eiichi learned against the door frame until Nagi finished and then stepped back to let him out.

Nagi picked up his bag and looked at Eiichi.

"Well? Aren't you getting dressed?"

Eiichi nodded and Nagi rolled his eyes and went to wait in the living room. Eiichi dressed and soon they were in his car driving back to Nagi's dorm. It was silent, which was strange for Nagi and Eiichi began to feel guilt creep back up again.

"Are you OK?"

"Hmm?"

"You're so quiet."

"Yeah, I'm just tired," Nagi replied with a smile.

Eiichi wondered if he should press it. After schedules sometimes Nagi was so tired that he'd sleep anywhere his body landed.

"I hope you're not mad about me sending you home."

Eiichi mentally smacked himself as soon as the words left his mouth. That was not the way he normally spoke to Nagi. He usually tried to keep it authoritative. He was after all the adult, but now lines were so damn blurred.

"I'm not mad," Nagi replied, seeming to not notice anything strange. "Besides, I know I should go anyway since I have school and all."

"Yeah, you rarely have time to go as it is."

"You're so lucky all you have to do is work. You don't have to go to school."

"Yeah but I work more than you because of it."

"You work tomorrow too, right? Even before school starts."

Eiichi nodded and on top of early schedules he often worked late as well. Because of Nagi's age he wasn't allowed to appear on TV after 10pm which also freed the boy's schedule quite a bit. Eiichi felt it was probably the worst for Kira who had to balance university with a schedule almost as full as Eiichi's was.

They made it to the apartment complex and Eiichi parked where he could. Because of Nagi's age the dorm situation worked well for him. But it was a rarity seeing Japanese idols dorming together and most agencies didn't bother.

The place was secure and located on the 9th floor. Using Nagi's key card they entered and found the place dark. Nagi switched on the light.

"Kira! I'm home!" he called, stepping in.

The only answer was the sound of the shower running.

"Ah, he's in the shower. It'll probably take him forever then," Nagi commented. "Why'd you follow me up anyway? I know my way in to my own house."

Eiichi wondered the same thing and yet there he was. He grabbed Nagi by the waist and pulled him flush against him and when Nagi gasped in surprise Eiichi bent down to steal a Kiss. Nagi's arms flew up around his shoulders.

"You're so horney," Nagi admonished when they pulled away.

"Do you even know what that means?"

"Well if I didn't I do now, thanks to you."

Eiichi pushed Nagi against the wall and kissed his neck.

"Is this why you followed me in?"

"Maybe," Eiichi replied, lapping at Nagi's skin.

Nagi let his head fall back and Eiichi bit lightly at his throat.

"Fuck I could take you right now," Eiichi growled.

He hoisted Nagi up over his shoulder and marched deeper into the house. He threw open the door to Nagi's room and flipped on the lights scanning the area. Nagi's bed was not made; his blanket and pillow were haphazardly thrown around as well as the stuffed animals he still slept with. Everything was obnoxiously space themed and it was so juvenile Eiichi had to bite down his scoff.

He deposited Nagi onto the bed of pillows and plushies and then joined him. He was addicted and he only wanted Nagi to be addicted too. He moved down, tracing his finger along the inside of Nagi's clothed thigh. He nuzzled the boy's crotch and kissed at the fabric.

"Does it feel as good for you as it does for me?" he asked breathily.

"I don't know."

Nagi's answers were always so curt and even this situation didn't change that. Of course he didn't know. Eiichi sat up, leaning his back against the wall and running fingers through his hair and adjusting his glasses.

He wanted to ask so many questions like why him? What did he see? Not that Eiichi didn't consider himself to be a catch but for a 13 year old boy he didn't think he'd fit that standard. Plus he was afraid the boy would regret it, realize it was a mistake and he was being taken advantage of. And wasn't youth known for being fickle? What if Nagi lost interest? Maybe this was just for fun. How was Eiichi to confirm it wasn't? There was no way to confirm anything. Everything from his feelings to his consent were dubious.

And Eiichi had never been in love before but damn hanging out with this kid was making him wonder. There was nothing really innocent about any child in the entertainment industry but they were still children nonetheless. There were many times in a day when Eiichi's heart and stomach would flutter at some cute thing Nagi would do. Nagi was smart, he could keep up very well, but maybe not so wise. He made bad decisions often and getting involved with Eiichi would be another one of them.

Nagi said up and grabbed Eiichi's hand. Eiichi liked the feeling of it.

"I was really happy when you said you liked me," Nagi smiled. "I'm really happy right now too."

He beamed that beautiful cute smile and Eiichi's heart felt like mush within his chest.

"I'm glad I met you."

And in that moment it felt worth it.

-part 1 end-

AN: it says end but it's gonna be a threeshot. reviews would be lovely!