Disclaimer: All self-inserts belong to their respective authors. I don't own Brian and Melody, they belong to DarkMagicianmon, but he allowed me to borrow them. I don't know who owns Drake, but it's most likely DM.
A company of twenty knights traveled on horseback, across the land. Leading them was one of the youngest but best knights in the kingdom. "Company, halt!" Sir Roscoso shouted. There was a chorus of "Whoa" and "Hold it" from the knights as they brought their horses to a stand-still. Sir Roscoso looked into the sky, where the clouds had parted so suddenly.
A shimmering portal appeared in the sky, and from it, came a man in purple armor, with blue hair, screaming at the top of his lungs. When he landed, a puff of dirt was kicked up.
DarkMagicianmon stood up in the field where he had landed. "Ow. Where the hell am I?" About three seconds later, he found a spear pointing at his chest. He looked up at who was pointing the spear at him. It was a normal knight, but next to him was a familiar face "Ross? What's with the armor?"
"Silence!" the Pokemorph commanded. "I am Sir Roscoso to the likes of you. Men, arrest this mage!"
DM sighed. "Don't know what's going on here," he said. "But I'm sure we can work something out." Five knights jumped off their horses, and produced their various weapons, from swords to kunai to staffs. "If that's the way you want to do it." He whipped out his staff, and disarmed a knight with it, before going with his true forte.
"Dark Magic Attack!" A burst of dark magic came from his staff, and blasted a knight in the chest. "Fire!" Flames swirled around him, spooking the horses. He spun his staff around. "Magical Wind!" A great gust of wind knocked the rest of the knights off their feet. All except "Sir" Roscoso.
"Thou art a strong warrior," Ross said. "Where doth thou hail from?"
Couldn't hurt to have a little fun with him, DM thought. "I come from a far-off kingdom, known as Los Angeles."
"I haven't heard of this place before now," Ross said. "But if you are visiting here, then know this. The law of the realm states that all visitors must compose themselves in a proper fashion. Not, by dropping from the heavens." From a satchel hanging from his belt, Ross pulled out a purple gemstone. DM immediately recognized it as one of the Life Auras. Even if the sight of it hadn't made him remember it, Ross's next action would have jogged his memory in a hurry. "Chaos Control!"
Faster than you could blink, Ross appeared behind DM. "Shadow Ball!" He put his hands together, and a dark orb formed. It shot out, and nailed DM in the back. The Halfa went skidding across the ground, but stayed standing. He spun around to face Ross again.
"Dark Magic Attack!" he roared. A blast of magic shot from his staff.
Ross drew on the power of his Life Aura. "Chaos Shield!" The shield easily deflected the blast. "Chaos Blast!" An explosion of Chaos energy shot at DM, who dove out of the way.
"You are outnumbered!" Ross said, still looking ready to send another attack at DM. "Even if you defeat me, you shan't defeat all of my men."
DM looked around. All of the knights looked ready to join in the fight, at the word of Roscoso. "Fine. I surrender."
---
After surrendering, DM was taken to a huge castle, and sent down to the dungeon. He had his arms curled around the bars as he talked to the warden, since there wasn't much else to do. Much like how the Captain of the Royal Knights was Ross, the Warden was shadowDJ. Unlike Ross, who had been wearing armor, DJ was in his normal clothes.
"So Deej, where am I? What's this kingdom called?"
"This is the great kingdom of Gaia!" DJ said as he pounded his hand against his heart, and dropped his scythe in the process. He picked it back up, and quickly recomposed himself. "Ruled by King Brian the Magnificent, and Queen Melody the Alluring."
"Let me guess, with their son, Prince Nigel?" DM guessed.
"Nay, there is no prince of this kingdom as of yet," DJ said. "But, there is Princess Hikari Ino, bless her soul."
So Hime-chan is the princess, Brian's king, and Melody's queen. "So how long can I plan to be staying here? Maybe three, four years?"
DJ laughed. "It all depends on the King's choice. He is just, and will not dare to imprison somebody for an extended period on something that has yet to be proven. In a short amount of time, he will call for a prisoner--the only one now is you--who will present what crime they have been accused of. He will decide if this is truly a crime, and deliver the sentence. However, most find that less than a quarter of the arrested stay any longer than two days, as a warning."
"That's the first piece of good news I've heard in the past few hours," DM said. He sighed.
At the top of the dungeon stairs, the huge metal door flew open. Somebody called down "Hey! The King asks for the prisoner!" The person came down the steps, and it was yet another author, this one Jean Kazuhiza. "DJ!"
DJ grabbed the keys from his belt, and put one into the lock on DM's cell. With a quick turn, he opened it up, and Jean grabbed DM by the shoulder. He led the mage up the stairs, and through the halls of the castle.
"So, what are you? Servant?"
"I am not as low as a servant, knave," Jean said. As DM mouthed the word knave in disbelief, the wrestler continued. "It is my job to ensure that the castle runs smoothly. I can perform many tasks required, including the fetching of prisoners." He stopped in front of a large door, still keeping a firm grip on DM's shoulder. "Here it is. When you enter, you are expected to bow, and speak only when spoken to by his majesty or her majesty."
He looked over to the guard at the door, who looked suspiciously like Kakashi Hatake. He was even holding one of the "Icha Icha" books. In fact, the only difference was that instead of the leaf village symbol, his headband had a crown on it.
"If you don't mind?" Jean said to Kakashi. He looked up.
"Whatever you say," Kakashi said. He closed his book, and pulled down a switch next to him. The doors came open, and Jean and DM went through. After they had cleared the doorway, the door slammed shut again.
At the very end of the audience chamber was two thrones. As they came closer, DM could see that this Brian was older than his Brian, at least forty years old, but he still had the same strong aura to him. Melody was just as old as Brian, but was as beautiful as always. At least, she would have been, if not for what she was wearing. An old-style dress, with a dozen different layers. Despite the fact that it was probably the fashion, it looked absolutely ridiculous on Melody.
"Your majesty, I have brought the prisoner, arrested by Sir Roscoso," Jean said, bowing. He elbowed DM in the ribs, who then bowed as well.
"Thank you, Lord Kazuhiza," King Brian said. "You are dismissed." Jean backed away. Brian turned his attention to DM, and a strange look of curiosity entered his eye. "What is your name, and state your crime."
"Name's DarkMagicianmon," he said, standing up. "DM for short. My 'crime' I think has something to do with falling out of the sky."
Queen Melody's laughter filled the hall. "I apologize," she said. "But, it is strange. Who was it that arrested you again?"
"Sir Roscoso," DM replied.
Brian grimaced. "Strange man. Magnificent fighter and leader, but to arrest a man for falling from the sky." He shook his head. "I must apologize for his behavior." He narrowed his eyes. "You know, some consider it rude to stare at another man's wife."
DM's eyes returned to Brian. "Sorry, but I thought that Queen Melody would be very beautiful if she maybe had a smaller dress." Brian raised an eyebrow. DM realized what he said. "Not that she isn't beautiful! I'm just saying, that dress, she looks kind of ridiculous--"
"SPIRIT SABER!!!" Brian roared. His spirit energy came from his palm, forming a sword. Quick as a whip, he was holding it to DM's throat. "I don't care how familiar you feel, insulting Melody is a one-way path to death by my saber," he said through gritted teeth.
DM didn't move an inch. More than once, he had seen the kind of damage that the spirit saber could do, especially when Brian got mad(1).
"Please, stop!" cried a voice from the back of the audience hall.
Brian looked up. "Who speaks up?"
"`Tis I," said the person, who was a young woman. Through his peripheral vision, he could see that she wasn't very old, with long white hair, a blue robe, and a necklace with a light blue gemstone. "Kitten Hatchigamagutchi."
Brian moved the spirit saber away from DM's neck, but did not allow it to vanish just yet. "Court Sorceress. Why do you speak up for this man?"
"Did he not defeat many of your knights with his magic?" Kitten asked. "And nearly defeat Sir Roscoso?"
"This is truth," King Brian said. "But again, why do you speak up for him?"
"This may sound strange," Kitten said. She took a deep breath. "But I get the feeling that he may be who you have been looking for. One who can complete the quest that has taken some of your finest knights."
Brian took a deep breath. "We know nothing beyond his name and his style of fighting. How can we be sure that he will be able to accomplish this task?"
"You can feel it too," Kitten said. "Don't deny it. There's something special about this, DarkMagicianmon."
"What is it? What quest?" DM asked, utterly lost.
"You are truly not from this land," Brian said. "Three fortnights ago(2), my daughter, Princess Hikari Ino, was kidnapped. I have sent all but my greatest knights to rescue her. Only one has returned. He was stricken with madness beyond that which my healers can help him. Sir TemhotaTech." Everybody was silent for a moment, and muffled insane laughter could be heard outside the walls. Brian shook his head. "That poor man."
"Who kidnapped your daughter?"
"A traitorous knight to the kingdom of Gaia," Brian said darkly. "Drake Ebon Darkstar."
So Drake's behind this. Can't say I'm surprised, DM thought.
"But he still must prove that he can take on a warrior of that magnitude. There is a large difference between Sir Roscoso and Drake."
Kitten closed her eyes for a moment in thought. She opened them a moment later. "When are the Knights of Fictor set to return?"
"Right about now!" shouted a familiar voice to DM. The crazy Fictorian Ninja, Lunatic the 121st.
Both he and Kitten turned around, and she dragged him to the side so that the Knights of Fictor could bow to the king.
Each one was dressed little bit different from how they normally did. D-Dude wore a helm, a pauldron on each shoulder, and a breastplate. TL had his poncho on, which had a crown symbol on it like the one that was on Kakashi's headband. Lunatic, well, he was Lunatic. But he had a crown symbol on his shirt, over his heart.
"What's up, Boss King?" TL said goofily.
"I told you not to call me that!" Brian exclaimed. "You are still my knights."
Lunatic smiled at Kitten, who blushed.
D-Dude rolled his eyes at his younger brothers' actions. "So what's up?"
Brian looked to Kitten. "What about the Knights of Fictor were you about to mention?"
"Have DarkMagicianmon duel them," Kitten said confidently. "If he does well, then allow him to live, on the condition that he goes on the quest."
The King considered this proposition for a moment. "I suppose that this could work," Brian said. "Do you have any objections to it?" he asked the Knights. All three shook their heads no. "And you?" DM considered it. He might be able to fight his way out of the castle, but it was risky.
If I can knock them out before they can use their Ultima Forms, I might stand a chance against them, he thought. "Alright. I'll do it."
---
Outside the castle, in the training arena, DM stood on one side, his staff at the ready. At the other end was D-Dude, TL, and Lunatic, also ready to fight. Both sides were awaiting the signal from King Brian to begin. At his right was Queen Melody, at his left, Kitten. Watching the match was some of the guards and servants.
Brian held one hand in the air. He yelled "Go!" and activated a spirit gun at the same time. Both sides, ran at each other, yelling a battle cry.
Author's Note
(1) Okay, so I have absolutely no idea what kind of damage the Spirit Saber can do, but I imagine it can do some bad damage.
(2) For those of you who don't know what a fortnight it, it's two weeks. So three fortnights=6 weeks or a month and a half.
This fic was inspired by Sonic and the Black Knight. I call it a halfway parody, but it's not truly a parody, since the plot is original. I chose DM as the leading hero because I couldn't see myself as the hero--no significant other--and when I was thinking about it, DM was the first one to pop into my head, and thus this was born. This is going to be pretty fast-paced. Nothing extended, only about ten chapters or so.
So, how'd I do on the first chapter? Comments, questions, concerns? I'm going to attempt to have every Author Fighter have at least a small part in this, plus other random cartoon characters like Kakashi. If it makes anybody feel better, I'm going to have a rather small part, when it's my own fic.
