Title: We Are Not Getting Any
Rating: M/R
Genre: Humor
Warnings: Language, post s5
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.
Summary: "Can I sleep with you and Justin, Daddy?"
A/N: Kind of a second part to We Are Out. Posted also in lj.
"What do you mean we can't have sex?"
"I mean, we can't have sex."
"And why the hell not?"
"Your son is sleeping right there in the living room!"
"So? He's asleep, it's like 10 meters to him and you can bite the pillow, right?"
"Brian!"
"What?"
"What would Lindsay and Mel say?"
"Nothing, you are not telling them."
"And what if Gus wakes up and sees something?"
"We'll just tell him Daddy and Justin have a new hobby."
"And what would that be?"
"Naked Roman wrestling."
...
...
"Don't touch me! We are not having sex!"
"You expect me to keep my hands off your lovely derriƩre for two whole weeks?"
"Yes."
"I might as well cut my dick off and become a lesbian!"
"Why? Mel never cut her's?"
"Ha. Ha. Ha."
"Daddy?"
"Oh, sonnyboy, what are you doing here?"
"Told you so!"
"I can't sleep. I miss Mr. Wonky."
"Mr. What?"
"His teddybear, Brian."
"Oh, that."
...
...
"Can I sleep with you and Justin, Daddy?"
"Ah, well you see sonnyboy..."
"'Course you can Gus, hop in."
"Justin..."
"I will suck you-know-what in you-know-where tomorrow."
"Voldemort?"
"Volde-what?"
"No Gus, no Voldemort here, go to sleep."
"What the fuck?"
"Nothing, Brian."
...
...
...
"You're fucking serious?"
...
...
"Justin!"
"Yes, I'm serious, so stop the wandering hands! Your son is right here!"
...
...
"So who is this Voldemort dude? Some new twink you had?"
...
...
...
"No, I don't do mentally loopy."
"You did me?"
"Yeah, must have been on something."
"Now you are just being rude."
"I'm not. Your hand should not be there!"
"Says who?"
"You 7 year-old son, who is RIGHT HERE!"
"You don't love me anymore, is that it?"
"What the fuck are you on?"
"Sadly, nothing."
"Well, then for fucks sake, go to sleep and I'll make sure we have time to fuck in the hallway before Gus wakes up in the morning."
"Promise."
"Yessssss."
"I love you too."
"Go to sleep, Brian."
...
...
...
"You are supposed to say it back to me."
...
"I love you."
