A/N: So this has always been something I've wanted to experiment with, but it might offend some people (whoops!). Basically uh, I'm gonna get high with Kendall. Through writing. Because why not, am I right? So if it bothers you, I'm sorry! The act itself isn't really mentioned much, but I just wanted to put a warning out there. If you don't like the thought of it, don't read, and skip along to some of my other stories (;
NOT promoting this at all, just something I had the idea to write! I'm hoping the flow through this kinda mimics the effects, from the high to the pondering of life and...you'll just get it, I hope.
It had taken tons of convincing from the moment he stepped through the front door, but finally, finally, he was going to give in. I had provided him with the argument of my parents' recent divorce, insisting that I needed some form of escape and this seemed like the best possible arrangement. He finally relented, noting the dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep and the tremors that shook my body at night, for his hands were the ones steadying mine. As soon as the words of approval fell past his lips, I voiced my thanks and gave him a tight hug. He understood that I needed this.
I walked down the hall to our room and rummaged through the middle dresser until I found my favorite pair of shorts, slipping off my sweatpants and shimmying into the denim that hugged my curves in all the right ways. Following that came a simple black tube top and the silver necklace Kendall had bought me on our first anniversary.
I made my way out to the backyard, the warm summer air settling on my skin as I lay down in the grass. Most people apparently felt nervous, but my body was alive and humming at the prospect of doing this for the first time with my boyfriend, someone I trusted with my life. I knew I was in good hands, and this seemed like the perfect evasion from my family problems.
Kendall stepped out into the yard, sliding the glass door to our kitchen shut behind him before taking a seat on the grass next to me. I sat up and let my hand linger on his cheek, feeling the heat of his face radiate through to my palm, answering his silent question. Yes, I was ready.
He nodded, his hand coming around to hold my neck as his lips met mine. I allowed him to take control, knowing it would make him more comfortable with what was about to happen. I let my hands slide down his body, deftly slipping my hand into the left pocket of his jeans and pulling out my prize. I nodded with a smile as I held up the joint in my hand, assuring Kendall more than myself. I was ready to do this.
I watched his vibrant green eyes fill with the reflection of the flame from the lighter as he gently touched it to the tip of the joint before cooling the top of it with his breath and slipping the lighter back into his pocket. Kendall inhaled the first puff of smoke, letting his head fall back with a small smile as he passed the blunt to me.
I allowed the toxin to fill my body, grinning at my boyfriend as he nodded his approval. His eyes were filled with surprise and delight at the fact that I had quickly picked up this skill before he took the cigarette back and filled his lungs with its offering.
Instead of handing it back to me, my boyfriend bit down on the opposite end and raised an eyebrow at me. Taking the hint, I opened my mouth obediently and waited as he placed the blunt between my teeth before closing my lips around it and inhaling the sweet smoke.
I placed one hand on his shoulder, the other holding the joint away from our bodies so I could properly kiss my boyfriend, the look in his eyes forcing me to gravitate towards him. I felt myself growing slightly lightheaded as Kendall dominated my mouth, the smoke definitely taking its effect. Pushing the joint into his hand to free up my own, I ran my hands through his dirty blonde locks, tugging on his hair lightly as he bit down on my bottom lip, hard. I gasped as the familiar metallic taste of blood danced across my tongue, registering what had happened seconds after the act itself.
I grinned back at him, leaning in to place kisses down his jaw until I reached his Adam's apple, sucking on it gently. He groaned in my ear, head falling back and granting me further access to his skin. I nuzzled my nose in his neck, taking in his intoxicating scent, aiding the electrifying buzz already present in my body.
Kendall tossed the cigarette aside after making sure it was out and immediately lay down in the soft grass, pulling me down on top of him. I struggled to keep my balance with the intense effects of marijuana abusing my petite body, but still not regretting my decision. I came down hard, my hands breaking my fall in the soft grass on either side of Kendall's hand. I winced as waves of pain shot up my arms, disappearing mere seconds after their arrival. I glanced down at my hands with wide eyed wonder, finding Kendall's gaze again and understanding the silent question in his eyes.
I pushed myself off him and stood up on shaky legs, offering a hand down to my boyfriend. He graciously accepted and used my support to stand up, tucking his right arm under my legs and lifting me into his strong arms. Kendall carried me into the house and we both kicked off our shoes at the door before making our way down the hall to the bedroom.
He gently lowered me onto the bed and I marveled at the feeling of smooth silk under my fingertips, lifting my hands up to my boyfriend's face and lovingly brushing my thumbs against his cheek bones. I daintily slid my hands down his face, nails lightly scratching his soft stubble, closing my eyes to ignore what my vision was telling me and to just feel. His large hands came over mine, pulling them to his mouth to place delicate kisses along my palms.
I laughed at the feeling of his facial hair tickling my hands, my heart filling with warmth at the sound of his deep chuckle above me in response to my own giggle. Kendall caressed my face lovingly as I began to massage his shoulders, one warm hand on each cheek, sending shockwaves through my body. I opened my eyes and smiled up at him, breath immediately taken away by the intensity of the color in his own.
As the sun dipped low, light bouncing off the cream walls of our bedroom, my man appeared more beautiful to me than he ever had before. It seemed to me that he was glowing, his smile bright enough to ward off my deepest, darkest fears, the brilliant vibrancy of green in his eyes flecked with heavenly golds and rich browns.
Perhaps it was the drugs taking effect, but that night, all was right in the world. I felt no pain, no fear, no doubt, no anguish, no regret for the choices I had made in my life. Because every single one, even ones that seemed infinitesimal, had led me to this moment. And suddenly I appreciated the difficulty of my parents' situation, and I was happy they had shown me it was okay to be wrong. I understood that no matter what was to come, they would be a source of strength for eachother, just as I had this beauty in my arms to support me through life.
I could only hope that the adoration in my eyes as I gazed into his own was able to convey my thoughts, hidden away from the world. I wanted to be his everything, to love him unconditionally and support him throughout his life, to thank him for his patience and reciprocate his kindness, to be the one to hold him on a lonely night and wake up with him by my side knowing he had slept soundly, my presence giving him comfort, to hold his hand, both literally and figuratively, and provide a sense of security, to help guide him on this rollercoaster we humans call life.
He glanced down at me, head tilted much like a puppy, questioning my silence. My only method of response was a smile. Words spoken could not show the emotions tucked away in my mind.
That night, there was no roughness or force between us, but rather gentle movements and delicate touches. We were content to simply be with eachother and live, no cares in the world. Before succumbing to the lull of sleep, tender hands explored the other's body, getting to know each flaw, blemish, and imperfection. Without any sound ever leaving our lips, we learned more about eachother that night than we had possibly in the last seven years.
Every day, we run around so fast, racing against the clock in an effort to make the most of our twenty four hours, for we are never aware of just how many twenty four hour packages are left on our personal calendars. But through this haste, this urgency to complete menial tasks, we tend to lose touch with the ones around us, and, especially, with ourselves. We fall into a pattern of sorts, always looking around at who is judging with watchful eyes, but never thinking to look within. But you never know when your last breath comes around, when the man upstairs wishes for you to join him in his safe haven.
Most would say the acts we had committed earlier were terrible, bad for our health and damaging to our reputation. But they gave me a chance to think, to live, to breathe.
We fell asleep holding eachother, lips mere centimeters apart, together in our own little infinity.
Even if it was just for one night.
