author's note: ancient fic request from fanfic user theycallmeruthless who asked for "caliborn and calliope are handing out candy on halloween; caliborn keeps scaring the kids or blatantly ignoring the doorbell and calliope is not fucking amused" uploaded on my tumblr but never here


"Hard to believe you had this much candy left over after all the knocks I've heard from the door," Calliope says, picking the bowl off Caliborn's lap, her skirt swinging. She glances at her roommate, sprawled on the couch, picking at his eyelashes while staring at his hand mirror.

"I haven't been opening the door." He smirks and she turns the bowl over, dumping Starbursts and Skittles all over his lap.

"You think I didn't know?" She drops the bowl on his painted head, green and free of his usual piercings to attain a skeletal look. He whips it off at an instant, and gets off from the sofa, brushing the candy off his legs.

"I wasn't done yet,Cal," he growls.

"Please, as if you haven't been working on that costume since last year— agh!"

Thwap! Thwap! Thwap!

"Stop throwing that at me," Calliope says, raising her arm as she dodges candy."Stop it!"

"Maybe you shouldn't have thrown it at me first then, haa haa!" He picks up another violet box of Nerds just as someone started knocking at the door. "Oh, fuck."

"Go on," Calliope says, "Answer them. I'm a bit occupied here, you know,cleaning up your mess."

Giving a moment to stick his pale tongue out to her, he walks to the door and opens it.

"Trick-or-treat, scum," he says.

"No, idiot, they're supposed to say that!" Calliope shouts from inside.

The parents on the doorstep eye Caliborn, and shift their kids away from the doorstep, who eagerly hold their bags up.

"Yeah, that's right. No candy here. Now. Fuck off, will you?" He slams the door and turns to find Calliope, the bowl filled again. "Bit too late for that, huh."

Shoving the bowl in his arms, she walks towards her room. "I want all that gone before we go out tonight. Get it?"