I obviously own neither Harry Potter nor Doctor Who. My friend also helped me come up with the concept for this fic, so half credit goes to her, for the story and part of this chapter as well. I take no ownership over the few and far between dialogue and events taken from The Half-Blood Prince, only used in this story for accuracy, and context, when it's relevant.
Luna Lovegood was completely immersed in sketching a thestral. So immersed, in fact that she did not see the first years walking into the Great Hall, nor did she hear them.
On the contrary, Eleven was nothing but wide eyes and a wonderstruck expression as he took in the Great Hall and the hundreds of students all waiting for the first years.
As was to be expected, a few Slytherins snorted and guffawed at the eldest student by far, emerging from the pack. Standing at an gangly 6 ft 3 inches of pure awkward flaily limbs, he was impossible to miss.
" 'Ey Luna, look at that!" a Ravenclaw girl elbowed Luna, knocking the Spectrespecs onto her nearly finished drawing.
Luna put her Spectrespecs back on her face, and turned to see what the commotion was about. An gawky person with the aura of an overgrown schoolboy was standing opposite a clump of anxious-looking first years. His head was filled with Wrackspurts.
"Hm, he must be new," she commented vaguely. "Looks a bit old, though,"
From the Gryffindor table, she could hear Seamus Finnegan's boisterous Irish tone telling an (odd) story to whomever would listen.
Though most wizards were a bit strange, compared to Muggles, at least, this new boy seemed to be a different kind of strange. More eccentric, really. And a bit of an outcast. Like Luna. She had to admit, he also looked rather handsome, (and also rather like a giraffe). He had long hair, and a pale, square face, and eyes with secrets and dreams in them. Eyes like hers.
"I hope he's a Ravenclaw," she whispered to herself.
"May I have your attention!" Professor McGonagall asked, quieting the din.
The Doctor jumped and looked at the professor. His eyes had been fixed on the Great Hall's starry ceiling.
"Intimidating," he thought to himself. Secretly, beneath his three-sizes-too-small robe (issued at the request of the large man named Hagrid), he pulled out the Sonic Screwdriver to see just what "she was about". "Hmm... cat. Interesting. I pegged her as a platypus, really."
"Oi! Watch out, freako! They're calling us up," A rather rotund 11 year old boy
exclaimed.
The Doctor lowered himself down a full two feet, "I do not like being referred to as freako, sir, and I'd appreciate you honoring my request."
Sadly, it wasn't honored, and suddenly the first years were chanting.
"Down with Freako!"
It wasn't long until Slytherin table picked up the incantation.
"Silence!" Professor Dumbledore stood from his center chair at the table at the front of the Great Hall. "I do not appreciate new students being taunted before they even have a chance to be sorted. Or at all, for that matter."
He continued, "You may all have more than likely noticed that we have an…older student in our midst. This is John Smith, and he has transferred to Hogwarts from a wizarding school in Ireland, Gallifrey Academy of Wizardry and Technology."
The Doctor raised a hand and wiggled his fingers in nervous greeting. "Hello…!"
"Now, Professor McGonagall, let us please commence with the Sorting ceremony." Dumbledore sat back down and smiled expectantly.
Professor McGonagall set a stool in front of the first years, and the Doctor. She set the Sorting Hat, as filthy and patched as ever, on top of it.
The Hat gave a jerk, and began to sing through a rip in its brim, as it did every year. The Hat sang of the four Houses and their founders, and ended by advising the students to stay united in the face of danger.
Then, the Sorting began.
"Asvor, Arundel!" McGonagall called.
A skinny boy clambered up to the stool. The Hat was placed upon his head, and without hesitation, Arundel was sorted.
"HUFFLEPUFF!"
The Hufflepuff cheered as they welcomed their newest student to the table.
"Atkinson, Quimby!"
The Hat sorted Atkinson, Quimby into Gryffindor after a short consideration.
"Brixton, Holly!"
The Hat fell over Holly's eyes, and decided she was a Ravenclaw.
Luna clapped along with the rest of the Ravenclaws as Holly sat down.
"Carlton, Phillip!"
The rotund boy who had instigated the uproarious chants of 'Down with Freako!' sauntered up to the stool and sat on it imperiously. The hat was dropped on his head.
Promptly, the Hat screeched, "SLYTHERIN!"
The Doctor fidgeted nervously, thinking about the possibilities of sorting. Of course I can't be a Slytherin, but what if that's what the Hat sees… No offense to Gryffindor, but that's too much pressure. All I want from this is—
"Smith, John!"
Woken from his daze, The Doctor noticed that he was the only one left unsorted.
"Oh… So… it's my turn…" The Doctor approached the Sorting Hat with a inelegant, overconfident strut. Professor McGonagall placed the Hat on his head, and it fell halfway over his face.
"Oh, I see. Another complicated one," the Hat mumbled in his ear. "Haven't had one like you since the Potter boy…"
"Just anywhere where I'll have a friend, please, Mister Hat," the Doctor requested.
"Oh, but you could have friends in any of the houses. A brave one like you, the weight of the universe on your shoulders, so very bold, you could be a Gryffindor. But of course, such a friendly boy, so very inviting, always helping, always working… those are the traits of the Hufflepuff House."
It had been at least a minute since the Doctor had sat down. He rubbed his sweaty palms together, and struggled to slow down the anxious beating of his hearts.
The Hat continued. "And then there is the incredible rage you bottle up inside. The shrewdness that so often saves your life, and those of the ones around you. And of course… the fact that you, not a wizard, not even human, here for your personal gain. Someone of Slytherin house would take such actions. You would do well there."
"It sounds so bad when you say it like that," the Doctor said. "I just want a friend, someone who understands me, someone I can talk to."
"Indeed… and such intelligence, the ambition, oh you foolish boy, your ambition and reputation precede you. Your subtle humor in wit included, Ravenclaw might just fit you."
"Yes!" The Doctor exclaimed internally, "That one! Ravenclaw! Put me with the nerds and the weirdoes who are strangely ambitious, there."
"Are you sure? I still stand at Slytherin being your most compatible house…"
"Of course I'm sure! RAVENCLAW!" As the Doctor stood up from the stool, he knocked the Hat onto the ground. The entire student body was staring at him with very confused looks on their faces. Then he realized the issue. He had shouted that sentence, and not internally.
Ravenclaw's house table stood up in an uproar and waved down the strange, outdated new student. All except Luna, who took off her Spectrespecs and smiled invitingly at The Doctor.
The corner of the Doctor's mouth twitched in reply. He bent down and picked up the Hat, thrust it back on his head, and sat down again.
"It seems you are sure," The Hat observed. "Well, then, I suppose… RAVENCLAW!"
The uproarious Ravenclaw students sheepishly reseated themselves, and hid their heads in shame.
Luna Lovegood leapt up, and clapped vigorously.
The Doctor stood up once more, removed the Sorting Hat, and placed it gingerly on the stool.
"Sorry for dropping you," he murmured.
The other house tables cheered and clapped, mostly out of thankfulness that the eccentric new student wasn't part of their houses. The Doctor started towards the Ravenclaw table as Professor McGonagall rolled up her scroll and took the hat away.
"Oh, and Mr. Smith?" Dumbledore called after him.
The Doctor took a few more steps before he realized that it was he who was being requested. He hadn't quite gotten used to being called John Smith yet. He froze and turned back on his heel. "Yes, Professor?"
"Why don't we put you in sixth year classes? Unless you'd rather be a first year…?"
"Oh no, sir, sixth year would be lovely, thank you," The Doctor bowed his head appreciatively.
"Very well,"
The Doctor continued his journey to the Ravenclaw table and made his way to the far end of the table where the only student who seemed pleased that he was a Ravenclaw was sitting alone.
"May I?" The Doctor gestured to the empty seat beside Luna.
"Oh, of course," Luna replied.
The Doctor sat in the chair on Luna's left. "What's your name, then?" He asked, putting his folded arms on the table and leaning forward on them, and smiling at her.
"Luna Lovegood," she replied.
"Lovely name, Luna Lovegood. I'm th—"
"The new student, John Smith. Yes, I know."
The Doctor was grateful for her interruption. He had nearly blown his cover.
"Yes. Yep. That's me." He made a relieved expression as she turned away to face the High Table.
Professor Dumbledore rose from his chair. "Welcome, students," he began, "To a new year at Hogwarts. Before we tuck in to the splendid meal the House Elves have prepared for us all, I would like to like to inform you all that earlier in the day I purchased the most wonderful pair of socks at Zonko's Joke Shop. They feature dragons that fly round and tickle your toes. I highly recommend them. That will be all." He sat back down.
The Great Hall filled with the sounds of clapping and cheers. The Doctor made a note to find a pair of such socks during a Hogsmeade visit in the future.
A feast appeared on the plates lining table in the Hall. The Doctor put hearty servings of everything in front of him on his plate.
The Doctor dropped his gaze to Luna's sketchbook. "I like your drawing," he said. "Is that one of the creatures pulling the carriages? I saw them on the way in."
Luna looked at him as she spooned potatoes on her plate. "Yes. They're called Thestrals. Visible to only people who have seen death."
The grin that was on his face melted off. "Cheery, that," he muttered, and ate a bite of Yorkshire pudding
"They're very gentle creatures. They can be domesticated and used in place of broomsticks or Apparition. They can take you anywhere you want to go quite quickly," Luna said, lifting a dinner roll from a basket by the peas and putting it next to her potatoes. "But they're often misunderstood. They're thought of as bad omens sometimes, due to the whole death thing. And some people think they're scary, because they look so different. "
"I think they look beautiful." The Doctor's grin returned.
"So do I."
Luna and the Doctor briefly partook in small talk with the new students sitting near them. But soon, they began talking to each other again.
"So, how long have you been at Hogwarts, Luna?"
"This is my fifth year."
"And how do you like it here?"
"It's lovely. I've made some friends, and the classes are very interesting. You'll like it here, too, I think."
The Doctor smiled. "I think you're right."
Luna adjusted the Spectrespecs on her head and smiled.
"What do those glasses do?" The Doctor pointed at them.
"They're Spectrespecs. They enable me to see Wrackspurts."
"Wrackspurts?"
"The float through your ears and make your brain go all fuzzy."
"And do I have…Wrackspurts?" the Doctor wondered.
"A whole head-full."
"That," he said, "Explains so much."
"You don't think I'm crazy, then?" Luna was used to people's skeptical reactions when she told tales of creatures people normally couldn't see.
"Maybe a bit. But it's alright. I am, too. How do I get rid of them?"
Luna tilted her head with a little smile. "It's simple, really. Just think positive thoughts."
The Doctor smiled, too. "I think I can manage that."
Over heaping plates of dessert, Luna told him about Nargles and the Crumple-Horned Snorkack. The Doctor was completely immersed in the conversation, and almost didn't hear Dumbledore signal for silence so he could make announcements. The Doctor noticed that Dumbledore's right hand was blackened and looked rather dead. However, the Professor waved it off airily.
"Now that we've all been fed, I'd like to make a few brief announcements. Students should keep in mind that the forest is forbidden to all students. Also, Mr. Filch would like me to remind students that magic is not to be used in corridors between classes. He also would like me to inform you that all products of the joke shop Weasley's Wizard Wheezes are banned. On a cheerful note, Quidditch trials will take place the second week of the term. Students interested in playing for their Houses should contact the Heads of their respective Houses. We are also in need of new commentators, who should do likewise."
The Doctor wondered what position he might be good at in Quidditch.
"Lastly, I would like to welcome Professor Slughorn back to the Hogwarts staff. He shall be resuming his old post as Potions master," Professor Dumbledore announced.
The Great Hall filled with the surprised mutterings of students.
Dumbledore rose his voice to carry above the din. "Meanwhile, Professor Snape shall be taking over the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."
"No!" A student said loudly. The Doctor turned to see where the exclamation had come from. Many heads were turned towards the Gryffindor table, where a boy with black hair, round glasses framing green eyes, and a scar in the shape of a bolt of lightning was staring indignantly up at the High Table.
"Is that…?" the Doctor murmured.
"Harry Potter." Luna finished his thought. "He seems to be upset about the new teaching arrangements."
The Doctor followed Harry Potter's gaze up to a man dressed in all black with dark, greasy hair, a hook nose and a smug expression on his face. That must be Snape, he thought.
The Hall buzzed with conversation, only to be hushed by Professor Dumbledore clearing his throat. He gave a warning about Lord Voldemort and his followers gaining strength once more, and reminded students to abide security restrictions, and to report any suspicious behavior in or around the castle to a member of staff.
"But now," Dumbledore smiled again. "Your beds await, as warm and comfortable as you could possibly wish, and I know that your top priority is to be well-rested for your lessons tomorrow. Let us therefore say goodnight. Pip pip!"
The Doctor stood with the rest of the students, contributing to the great scraping noise of all the benches being pushed back at once. He walked with Luna to Ravenclaw Tower, where their House's dormitories were located. He would have liked to talk with her some more, but the feast had made him full and quite drowsy.
Luna, however, was glancing attentively at the moving paintings at the wall, watching the staircases move, drinking in all the things she'd missed about Hogwarts over the summer.
When they'd finished their trek up the long spiral staircase leading to Ravenclaw Tower, they stopped at a door, which had only a knocker in the shape of an eagle. The Prefect knocked once, and the knocker gave her a riddle, which she answered easily. The door swung open, and all the Ravenclaws clambered through the open door.
All the students walked to an entrance behind a marble statue of Rowena Ravenclaw, their House founder, which led to the dormitories.
"Goodnight, John," Luna said as she started towards the staircase leading to the fifth year girls dorm.
The Doctor yawned. "Nighty-night." He followed the other sixth year boys to the dorm.
The Doctor found a trunk at the end of one bed with the initials J.S. and opened it. It contained the sixth year uniform of black robes with the Ravenclaw crest, a pointed hat, and some of his clothes from the TARDIS wardrobe. He found his pajamas and put them on, then climbed into bed, pulling the sky blue silk eiderdown up over his chin, and fell asleep.
