"Remind me how old you are, again?"
"Umm... three?"
"You know, based on your behavior I might believe that, James. Since when do sixteen-year-olds engage in silly prank wars? What kind of–"
"Hey! I'll have you know that it was not a silly prank war, it was a brilliant, genius operation!"
"Putting cream cheese in your cousin's shoes is a 'brilliant, genius operation'?"
"It's not my fault! She deserved it. And you should have heard the way she squealed...Wait, why am I even justifying myself to you?"
"Know anyone else who would listen?"
"All right, what have you done now?"
"... What makes you think I've done anything?"
"You've always done something. And besides, you have what appears to be blood smeared on your hands, and you're trying to hide behind me. Wait, is that Lucy coming over here? Why does she look so mad? Lucy never looks mad. What have you done to her?"
"Well, I may have tranquilized her hamster and put raspberry jelly on it. She probably thinks I killed it. Oh no, she's coming! Hide me, please?"
"No way! You deserve everything she–"
"Ellie! I was just looking for you. Do you know where James is?"
"Umm, no, Lucy... probably off hiding somewhere..."
"So he's not hiding behind you and peeking over your shoulder to make sure I don't see him?"
"No, that would be a figment of your imagination."
"Well, in that case... I'd appreciate it if you could pass it along to the figment that if I ever find him within 8 feet of my hamster again, I'll get a restraining order put on him."
"Um, sure. I'll tell him if... if I see him."
"Good."
"Is she gone?"
"What would you do if I said she wasn't?"
"Uh, hide? Run screaming?"
"Hate to break it to you, Jamie, but your hiding skills leave something to be desired."
"Don't call me that! Anyway, that's only because she's scary when she's mad. I don't know why, but she only seems to get mad at me..."
"I can't imagine why."
"Oh! James, this is beautiful! How did you find this place?"
"Ask no questions, and I'll tell no lies."
"Oh, don't be silly. Well, it's beautiful, however you found it."
"What if I said finding it involved flirting with pretty cashiers and getting free pizza?"
"Only you could connect pizza and beautiful clearings."
"I'll take that as a compliment."
"Only you..."
"Fine! I'll be insulted and go and sulk in my room. Happy?"
"Did you just giggle?"
"I don't know. Did I?"
"Yes! You did! Fred owes me 10 cents now!"
"What?"
"I said, Fred owes me 10 cents now."
"No, I heard that, I just... 10 cents? And more to the point, you and Fred have been betting on my laughing habits?"
"No, Fred bet me that I couldn't make a girl giggle."
"Sorry, but you didn't really make me giggle. I giggled on my own."
"Well, fine! Then I'll make you giggle!"
"Stop! Enough! No... more... tickling! I concede!"
"Oh my gosh."
"What?"
"Oh. My. Gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh!"
"What? What is it?"
"It's you. Your... your hair is neat. Your clothes are unstained. And... nobody's glaring at you. Who are you, and what have you done with James?"
"Hey, I can go for ten minutes without offending someone!"
"..."
"Fine! Five minutes!"
"You know, until now, I wouldn't have believed it. But you have! I'm so proud of you! You're all grown up!"
"Cut it out."
"Will you marry me?"
"What?"
"I said, will you marry me?"
"I heard you, I just... what?"
"Well, you're kind, smart, funny, and patient, you put up with my 'ridiculous schemes', and I've finally managed to go ten minutes without offending someone. So I figured that now I'm all mature, I can ask you to marry me!"
"I... You... That was the silliest proposal I've ever heard. But– don't interrupt!– it was also very sweet. I think I... wait, have you ever even asked me out?"
"Well, no... but you're my best friend, and I love you! So, please?"
"Well, since you put it that way... all right."
