DISCLAIMER: All things Harry Potter belong to JKR.

~ The Dark Lord and the Lisping Baby Basilisk ~

Voldemort should have had enough sense to resist the impulse to buy a live baby basilisk from a stranger in a shady bar.

And now he had a baby basilisk which he could talk to, and which talked back to him - in the language of snakes - with a lisp. How in the Seven Hells did a snake - whose language consisted almost entirely of sibilant sounds - manage to have baby-talk lisp to its speech?

But the basilisk - or, as he preferred to refer to himself, "baskaliss"- did lisp when he hissed. And on top of that, he had nothing particularly interesting to say.

Of course, the Dark Lord quickly tired of caring for his new pet.

"Baskaliss hung-ee. Baskaliss need noms! FEED BASKALISS."

Voldemort was particularly tired of this conversation, and after having it for what seemed to him like the 77-millionth or so time, he snapped at it, "Oh, shut up and find your own food!"

"Fiiiiiiiiiiiine," hissed the basilisk. "Baskaliss gonna go nom Nag-neeny, see how you likes that!"

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Baskaliss likesssssss to eats nother snakessss….."

He should have known.

"Avada kedavra."

~end~

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