Matt groans softly as he open his eyes, he sit up and gently rub his eyes sleepy. He cover his mouth as he yawn softly, reaching towards the side of the bed where he have a small table which he use to put his goggles when he sleep only to feel an empty space. His eyes widen as he look around the room which is definitely not his, he narrow his as he remembered what happened yesterday. Damn Mello! How dare he kidnap me! Matt growl angrily as he got out of bed quickly and rush towards the door only to be stopped by the collar around his neck that's chained to the bed. He growl when he saw that there's a lock on the collar and was going to take out the pin he keeps in his pocket only to see that he's only in his boxers. He sighs as he looks around the room to see if there's anything he can use to unlock the collar. His eyes widen when he saw the key sitting innocently on the table next to the door. He tried everything he could think of but there's nothing he could use to get it and it's to far for him to grab it himself. He closes his eyes and took a deep breath before rolling up the blanket and tries to get the key. Just as the blanket landed on top of the table and he was about to sweep the key towards him, Mello open the door and walked in.

Mello smiled softly and picked up the keys from the blanket. "Hey, Matty. What are you doing with the blanket like that?"

Matt smile nervously as he pulls the blanket back towards him and wrap it around himself tightly. "Nothing..."

"Are you sure? Seemed like you were trying to get something...He shrugs and moves closer to Matt. "Anyways, enjoying your stay? If you're a good boy, I might let you off the leash for a bit..."

Matt smile slightly. "Why don't you just let me out of the leash right now?" He asked hopefully.

"No. I know you, Matt, I'm not a retard. You'd attack me or try to leave. I don't want to lose you. I tied you up so you can hurt yourself again..." His eyes soften slightly. "Matty...You're my best friend, I need you..."

Matt smile softly. "I won't leave so please release me." He lied, the minute his free he's going to run as far away from Mello as he can and hide until he's such he won't kidnap him and lock him up again.

"I'm sorry, I can't believe you...you've lied before...I won't lose you."

Matt bite his lip as he curl up, making himself look as small as he can. "You won't lose me..."

"You've said that before, Matt. Then you've tried to kill yourself again." Mello sat on the edge of the bed and ran a hand through Matt's hair. "You're my best friend, why do you want to die..?"

Matt looks away. "No reason. I was just being stupid." He gently plays with the blanket.

"But you're not that stupid. You're so smart, you could even be smarter than me, what reason would you want to kill yourself?"

Matt look away as he shrug his shoulder, not saying a word.

Mello leaned down and kissed Matt's temple softly, whispering. "Mail...What have I done to my friend..? Why do you want to leave me, break my heart?"

Matt listens to him quietly as he look down sadly. "I'm sorry, Mello" he whisper softly.

"Don't be sorry...Nothing's wrong, just...Why do you want to die? Did I do something? I want to help, and I'm tired of all your bullshit lies, Matt, tell me the truth."

"I-I don't know..." He lied but what was he supposed to do? He can't tell him that he's depressed because of his and Near's relationship. How can he tell him that it hurts to see the person he loves with all his heart love someone else?

"...If you ever find the reason, tell me. I'll do anything to make it go away, I don't want to lose you..."

Matt nods quietly even though he knows he would never tell him the reason.

"Sleep some. I'll send Nate down later with some food for you."

Matt nods as he lay down and close his eyes, waiting for Mello to leave.

"You're my brother, Matty. I won't lose you." Mello stood and left, taking the keys to the collar with him.

Matt frown as he open his eyes slightly and curl up, he whimper sadly as he pull the blanket over his head, hiding his whole body. It hurts knowing that the person you love so much only think of you as a brother...

After a few hours, there's a light knock on the door before Near comes in with a tray of food. "Matt. Mihi sent me with some food, he asked me to be sure you ate it..."

Matt pull down his blanket and look up at him lazily before rolling to the other side with his back facing Near. "I'm not hungry." He said softly, he doesn't hate him, after all love is blind and uncontrollable.

"You have to eat it. Mihi said that if you don't I'm supposed to get him...I doubt he'll be too happy if you don't eat, he claimed that you should love the food but...Mihi can't cook..."

Matt curls up and pulls his blanket over his head. "Tell him I'm sleeping and that he should stay out of the kitchen."

"Matt, eat. He won't believe you are asleep, please just eat some, at least then I can say his cooking was horrible..."

"Why don't you eat it for me? It's not like he'll know who ate it."

"Matt, you haven't a clue how Mello works. He can tell easily if I ate it and not you. Just eat, you've done enough just by being so depressed, can't you just listen to Mello for once?" Near glare at redhead, considering to allow Matt to starve himself.

Matt sighs softly as he sat up and looks at Near. "Can't I just listen to Mello for once? Near...you do know I've been doing nothing but listen to him ever since we were still little kids at Wammy's right? Is it wrong that I want to do things my own way now?"

"He's trying to help you, we both are. But your constant depression and threats of suicide obviously aren't helping anything." He frowned slightly. "Why do you do that? Why do you want to die?"

Matt look down at his hands and gently caress his wrist that he would love to cut open just to see the blood flow down his arm again. "Maybe I'm just a messed up kid." He matter softly

"There is a reason. What you tell Mello can't work on me, please tell me, Matt..." he moved closer and held the tray towards Matt. "Eat too."

Matt shakes his head as he lay back down onto the bed. "Like I said, I'm a messed up kid."

"Matt, you can trust me, I wouldn't tell Mihi unless you wanted me to." Near smiled very faintly, hoping Matt would believe him.

Matt sighs knowing he can never tell them the real reason no matter what happens. "Look Near, I like you. You're a nice kid but like I said, I'm a messed up kid." He said, sticking to his story.

The albino sighed and sat the tray down. "I have an idea...But I can't act on it..."

Matt rolls his eyes. "Whatever you're planning isn't going to work on me."

"I won't do anything to you, its Mello I'll be worried about..." Near looked down and his voice became the usual emotionless monotone again, "Eat. I'll be back later to clean the dishes..." He silently walks out, making sure to close the door behind him.

Matt frown as he ignores the food and pull the blanket over his head, what's the worse Mello can do? He's already locked him up like he's some animal. What the worst he can do to him?

Matt fell asleep soon, not waking when Near took the uneaten food out of the room. An hour after Near took the food away, Mello silently comes in and sits on the bed. He shakes the other shoulder, "Matty, wake up..."

Matt pull down the blanket and look at Mello sleepily. "What do you want, Mello?" He hopes he isn't going to ask him to do anything. He's been so tired lately...

"Why didn't you eat? You seem really skinny, you need to eat..." he runs a hand softly through red hair.

Matt sigh softly, not this again. "I'm tired, Mello. I would like to sleep now."

Mello thought for a moment before he moved to sit on Matt's hips, kissing his neck softly. "Matty...I'm trying to help you..."

"And I'm trying to get some rest." He was getting tired of talking about the same thing over and over again. So what if he doesn't want any help?

He pouts. "This isn't over. We'll talk more tomorrow. Goodnight, Matt. I love you." He kisses the redhead deeply before standing and leaving.

Matt frown as he close his eyes and tries to sleep, he clutch his fists after a while and glare at the wall. "Stupid Mello...now I can't sleep..."

Again, Matt heard a light knock on the door as Near came in. "Matt...Are you awake..?"

Matt groans softly. "What is it now, Near?" He sits up and looks at Near. Hoping he doesn't look as tired as he feel.

"...I am 97% sure my hypothesis is correct...It's not the story you claim, please tell me what made you depressed..." He twirled his hair and sat against the far wall, keeping his head low despite the darkness of the room. "Even Mihi believes you've been lying about the reason..."

Matt stare at him "But it is not 100% there's a 3% chance that what I'm saying it the truth. If you've checked my family history then you'll know that almost everyone fall into depression so it'll be no surprise if I too fall into depression."

"Yes...but I've looked back and noticed one flaw I cannot tell you. If you refuse to tell me the truth, I can't tell you, it's a flaw I've found in one other situation..."

Matt tense slightly as he narrow his eyes, fully awake now. "Flaw? There is no flaw, you're just lying to get the answer you want to hear." He crosses his arms.

"No. I would not lie, not about this. I just want the truth, if I'm correct, I know how to help...And I'm sure Mihi would be happy to hear you won't be sad any longer. Just tell me the truth..."

Matt sighs softly as he covers his face. "Just drop it, Near. I'll be alright. Just give me some space and rest and I'll be better soon."

"I doubt that...tell me, Matt, please...I can't act on a thought, not unless I'm sure it true..."

Matt lies down and rolls over so that he's facing the wall, ignoring Near as he tries to sleep.

"I'm sorry, Mail..." Near stands and leaves again, allowing Matt to sleep.

Matt close his eyes as he took a few deep breath and soon falls asleep.

No one bothers Matt most if the next day, just Near coming down with food and leaving silently.

When Near brought down the last meal Matt could eat, he stayed, sitting against the wall as he had the night before.

Matt continue to sleep through the whole day and even when Near bring him his meal he stubbornly stay asleep.

After a while of sitting, Near stubbornly shakes Matt. "Mail, wake up...You've slept a lot, you can't sleep forever."

Matt groans softly as he move away from him, can't he see how tired he is?

"If you won't wake up, Mello will come and find some way to wake you up. I doubt you'd like that..."

Matt curl up, sleep sleep sleep he needs to sleep. Why is he still so tired after so much sleep?

Near sighed and took the food, "Mello will be here in a while. I did warn you..." He walks out, closing the door behind him.

Matt relax slightly, thinking he has won and continues to sleep peacefully.

Just a bit later the door opens again, this time Mello sits on Matt and slaps him. "You're being mean to me, Matty...Why?"

Matt wakes up in shock as he stare at Mello with wide sleepy eyes. "What?" He stare at Mello, looking like he's about to fall asleep again.

"You begged me for the key before, remember? Don't you want to be free? You're not even trying! Matt, what the hell is wrong with you? Tell me what the fuck I did to you, I don't want some bullshit lie!"

Matt sighs softly as he gently rubs his eyes sleepily. "Nothing Mello. You don't do anything to me so please calm down."

"Then why did you try to kill yourself? You won't fucking eat and you're not even trying! I thought you hated being called a dog, being tied up and restrained like this. This is degrading and you're not even trying to prove to me you deserve to be unchained." Mello tries to glare, but all he can do is try to blink the tears away.

Matt smile sleepily as he rub his eyes again, trying to stay awake "I'm sorry, Mello but I am really really tired lately so I sleep longer then I usually would. I'll prove to you that I don't need to be tied up when I'm feeling well rested."

"You've slept all day...What's wrong..?" He frowns slightly and nuzzles Matt. "Are you feeling okay..?"

Matt shrug as he tries harder to stay awake. "I don't know...I'll find out what's wrong once I'm feeling better." He matter softly.

Mello nods and kisses Matt again, softly licking his bottom lip. "I don't want you to die...Feel better soon, Matty..."

Matt shiver slightly and pull away from Mello "I'll try Mello" he said softly as he close his eyes and falls asleep again.

Mello leaves a piece of paper on the dresser and leaves, hoping Matt would feel better soon.

Matt wakes up and gently rub his eyes, he's still tired but he's feeling better than before, he looks around and saw a paper on the dresser and pick it up.

In Mello's very neat handwriting, reads the note. "I haven't an idea what your reason is for everything, but I know there is something between you and Nate...He's withdrawn now, if you want to prove to me you deserve to be unchained, tell us the truth next time we ask you. Love, Mello."

Matt frowns as he read the paper. Well this is just great I'll have to tell them what's wrong and Near is now withdrawn. He's annoyed and pissed off now. Is this a trick? They know I'll feel guilty about it...whatever I'm getting out of here /right now/.

Within a few minutes, Near came in with his usual tray of food. "Good morning, Matt...I did not expect you to be up..."

Matt shrug. "I just woke up not long ago and I'm thinking of going back to sleep now." He said as he lay back down and cuddle into the blanket.

"Matt should eat...you're very skinny. It would not help if you got sick, Mello would not take you to a doctor..."

Matt sigh softly as he run his hand through his hair. "I don't need to see a doctor if I get sick. I just have to sleep it off...I'll eat...later."

"...Something's wrong...What is it?" He tilts his head slightly. "Does it have to do with Mello?"

"I have just been tired lately so I've been sleeping more."

He nods. "Okay...If Mello bothers you, please tell me. It isn't like him, especially since Matt is his friend..."

Matt smile softly. "It's fine, Near. Even if he's bothering me I'm already used to it already."

"Still...Mello should not be mean...It would not do anything to help except make things worse...Please eat, Matt. You are very thin and it could become dangerous."

Matt look down at himself and was surprised to see how thin he is. "Wow...I didn't notice I've gotten so thin." He matter softly.

"Yes...Now eat please, I doubt you'd enjoy Mello when he's gotten up too early..." Near twirled his hair and sat against the wall, keeping his head low and face hidden.

Matt sigh softly as he got up and look down at the food, eating a little of it before pushing it away. "I'm full."

"Matt, you need to eat more."

Matt frown as he bite his lip "But I can't eat anymore."

"Why not? You barely ate anything, Mello will be worried for your health..."

Matt shrug as he lay back down. "Don't know. I just know I can't eat anymore." He glance towards Near lazily. "But at least I ate something right?"

"I suppose...Matt, can I confide in you a secret?" He looks up slightly to the redhead.

Matt nods. "Of course. You know I'll never tell anyone peoples secret or use it against you that's why I have the most secret of everyone in Wammy's right here." He said as he gently tap his head.

He nods slightly and looks away. "I'm leaving soon...Mello has become...err...boring, he never talks to me anymore or even acknowledges my existence unless it's for..." He blushes lightly. "Physical things...But aside from that...I have found comfort with a friend who I shall not disclose..."

Matt nods. "You should talk to Mello about it first before you do anything rush, Near. You know how Mello can be maybe he doesn't realise he's ignoring you." He said softly.

"I'm tired of talking. He realizes it, he refuses to act on it. Everything I say is essentially ignored unless it involves you, I've tried talking to him and it seems the last action it to remove myself seeing as I am a problem..." He tugs his hair slightly, his irritation showing only slightly.

Matt shakes his head. "You're not a problem, Near. If anything I should be the one that should be leaving seeing as I'm the reason he's ignoring you...unlock the collar and I'll be out of your life forever."

"I can't do that. Mail, I am 100% sure now...I am the problem...Trust me, you'll be happy one day, I promise." He shows Matt a true, but sad, smile. "Mello won't care if I leave, neither should you."

Matt frown. "Near...why won't I care if you leave? I am the one that's the problem, if it wasn't because of me you'll be having a happy relationship with Mello. I should be the one to leave...once I leave he'll look for a while before giving up and you'll be able to live your life peacefully without any worry."

"No...I am the reason. The flaw, you were never depressed when you had Mello, before he wanted me...As soon as he admitted to you he was with me, you changed...I am the problem. He will never give up looking for you, even if you died, I'm sure he'd be quick to follow you..."

Matt close his eyes. "...You're not the problem, Near and if you leave Mello will be upset."

"He will have you so it doesn't matter. He...has proven he cares for you...more than really anything..." He drops his head again.

Matt got out of bed and walk towards him, he gently cup his face and gently lift it up. "He loves you, Near. Don't you ever doubt that. Every time I'm with him you're all he talk about."

His eyes seem lifeless and dull. "I doubt that. He loves you, Matt, not me...I want you both to be happy, I'm willing to leave."

Matt shake his head and lay his forehead on Near's. "No...he does love you very much and it'll break his heart if you leave."

"But he has you, he wouldn't care about me..."

"Then I'll leave. Then he'll be yours and he'll care about you again."

Near sighed and leaned up, kissing Matt and cutting him off. "How long would it last? I found someone else, Matt. I found him weeks ago, it's only a matter of time before Mello finds out. I want to leave, you and he can be happy now."

Matt frowns as he listen to him. "Alright...but you should at least tell him before you leave or leave him a letter."

"Perhaps...I'm not entirely sure...I can't tell him to his face, there's too much to admit and more likely than not he'd become violent..."

Matt nods. "He will...write him a letter and leave it with me. When he comes in looking for you I'll give it to him."

He nods and pulls out a paper. "I haven't a need for it, you can have it. I wrote it a while ago...when things first began...I could never admit the words on there to his face. I don't mind if you choose to read it, however Mello will be in here before he leaves for work. Once he leaves I will begin my leave also...please say nothing..."

Matt nods as he took the letter and hides it under the pillow. "I promise I won't say a word about it to him." He smile softly. "Be careful, Near and good luck."

"Thank you. Be careful too." He smiles and kisses Matt's cheek before taking the tray and leaving.

Matt nods as he watch him leave quietly before crawl into bed and pull the blanket over himself as he lay down.

A while later the door opened and Mello came in. "Hey, Matty. How are you feeling?"

Matt looks up at him and smile slightly "I'm fine. How are you?"

"Good I suppose. Do you know what's wrong with Nate? He wouldn't even talk to me this morning..."

Matt shakes his head. "I'm not sure. He was pretty quiet when he came in just now."

"Okay...I'm going to work. If Nate says anything, please tell me when I get back, okay?

Matt nods. "Of course I will, Mello. Take care and stay safe."

"You too." He smiles and kisses Matt again, licking the others lip pleading for entrance.

Matt shiver but keep his mouth stubbornly close.

Mello pouts softly as he pulls back. "You're my best friend and brother, Matty, you know I'd do anything for you to be safe." He smiles softly before leaving.

Matt groans softly as he covers his eyes and sigh softly, he really miss his goggles. He hopes Mello will give it back to him soon.

As time passed, Matt drifted in and out of sleep. Only after 3 hours since Mello had left, Near come back in. "Matt, I have something of yours...As a parting gift I suppose..." he held out the orange-tinted goggles Matt usually wore.

Matt grin sleepy as he took it from him and put it over his eyes. "Thank you, Near. Are you leaving now?"

He nods. "Gevanni has already packed most of my stuff into his car...I wanted to say goodbye. Good luck with Mello, I'm sure you'll both be happy."

Matt nods. "Alright. Good luck with your new life, Near. I hope you'll find happiness. Good bye I hope we'll meet again."

"I am sure we will. Let it not be when you're put in jail." He smiles softly and turns to leave. "Be careful of Mello, he's violent..." Near leaves soon after saying that, intent to start his new life.

Matt laugh softly as he shake his head. "Oh Near...I've grown up with him I'm sure I know better than anyone how violent he can be." He gently plays with his goggles.

Exactly 2 hours after Near left, Mello returned. The door slamming as usual before a shout of the albino's name, though when realizing Near wasn't there he went to Matt. "Matty? Have you seen Nate?"

Matt nods as he quietly takes out the letter from under the pillow and hands it to him.

Mello sits on the bed and reads it. Once finishing he hands it back to Matt. "So...he cheated on me, lied about it, and then left me for that guy? Well he's a fucking bitch..."

Matt shakes his head "Don't say that, Mello. He's not a fucking bitch..."

"How not?! He fucking lied to my face! He's arrogant, he randomly decides to leave for some fag who probably won't even stay a week. How does that /not/ make him a fucking bitch?"

Matt bites his lip. "Mello please clam down. It's not as bad as it looks."

He sighs softly and lays back. "How? Explain it then, Matt, if you know everything..."

"He said you never acknowledge his existence and you ignore him unless it's something about me." He said softly. "It's true that he shouldn't have lie to you and leave you like this but in a way you're also at fault."

"I do acknowledge him, I don't speak up because usually he never talks much." He sighs softly. "I don't care. It doesn't matter anyways...is that all he said?"

"...He said that you love me not him and that he wants us to be happy so he's willing to leave."

"...I love you both...So yea, I do love you. More than a brother I guess." He laughs softly. "What kind of person would try to make out with their brother?"

Matt shrugs. "I don't know...will you be alright, Mello."

"The better question is do you plan to ditch me just like that albino twit did?"

Matt shakes his head. "Why would I do that to you?"

"I don't know, why'd you try to do that before?"

Matt shrug. "You had someone with you before and now that you're alone I won't leave you."

"..." He sits up and kisses Matt hard, forcing his tongue into the other's mouth.

Matt mew softly in surprise and tries to push him away.

The blonde is much stronger than Matt, he pins the boy to the bed and pulls back to glare at him. "This entire time...you were fucking jealous of Near?!"

Matt look at him in surprise. "Wh-what? I'm not jealous of Near!" He was telling the truth, he isn't jealous. He's a pretty understanding person and it only hurts to see them together.

"That's what it sounds like." Mello sighs and moves to kiss his neck. "What were you so upset about? I love you, Matty, nothing will ever change the way I feel about you...Nor will you change meaning behind everything we've done together. Please never doubt I love you."

"I've never doubt that, Mello and I am really not jealous at all." "Then why were you depressed? Tell me the truth, please..."

Matt looks away and sighs. "I guess there's no point in hiding it anymore... It hurts...it hurts to see the person you love, love someone else. I didn't wanted to tell you before because I was afraid it'll end up breaking your relationship with Near so I tried to handle it myself." He chuckle softly. "But as you can see it didn't work, I ended up like this and the two of you broke up anyway." He look down and close his eyes "I'm so sorry, Mello. This happened all because of me..."