Title: Nothing To Lose

Author: jebediah_12

Email:  jeb_12@hotmail.com

Feedback: Sure, but be gentle, this is my first fan fiction.

Summary: That would be telling…

Disclaimer: Alias sure isn't mine, I don't own nuthin'.


Distribution: Wherever you want, all I ask is that you tell me where and credit me.


Rating: PG

Classification: Angst

Author's Note: Alternate Universe.  The story takes place probably just after Rendezvous.  It's a standalone piece.

The sounds of my footsteps echo down the corridor.  To me the sound is deafening.  As I walk down the long empty hallways of the hospital it occurs to me that it's well after 9:00 pm.  God, I haven't slept in more than two days.  Time has been something that's passing me by at a breakneck speed and I still haven't been able to catch my breath.  It doesn't matter, though; there will be time for rest later.

The distinct hospital smell lingers in my nostrils.  The smell is a mixture of a variety of antiseptic cleansers, chemicals and of course, especially in this hospital, the smell of death.  I study the walls of the new corridor I turn down and I realize that this SD-6 hospital looks no different than any other hospital that I've been to, even the CIA hospital I've spent the last day and a half at.  The walls are white washed, casually populated with generic paintings, as well as pieces of machinery and gurneys sitting outside of the rooms. 

I make my way to the nurse's station and I stop at the desk, waiting for the nurse to look up at me from her clipboard.  When she looks at me I manage to give a weak smile.  Smiling is the last thing I want to be doing at this time.  She glances at her watch, noting how far past visiting hours it is, no doubt.

"Good evening, can I help you?"

"Hi, um, I know it's past visiting hours but I was wondering if it would be at all possible if you could direct me to Emily Sloane's room?  I'm a member of the family."

A lie, but it could let me slip in to see Emily and, hopefully, Arvin Sloane.  I notice the nurse's eyes seem to change and her shoulders slump slightly.  Her voice changes from a light to sad tone.

"I'm terribly sorry, Mrs. Sloane passed away nearly an hour ago from complications of her lymphoma."

Emily was in remission…

"No…" I stood there, shocked.  Arvin Sloane allowed Security Section to murder Emily, his wife.  How many innocents must die because of that animal?

"Would Arvin still be here?" I ask, trying to hide the hate in my voice at the sheer sound of his name.

"Yes, I believe he's in the private waiting area just down that hallway." She answers while pointing down the hallway behind my back.  "I think it would be better if he sees some family now, her passing has hit him quite hard."

I thank her as I turn around and make my way down the hallway towards the waiting area.  My mind is a whirlwind of thoughts.  How could he allow all of this to happen?  Too many innocents have died because of Arvin Sloane.  This will end tonight.

As I round the corner into the waiting area I see him.  He sits by himself in the middle of a row of lounge chairs facing a window overlooking the downtown.  He's sitting hunched over, with his face in his hands and elbows on his knees.  He looks like a weary, broken old man.  Who could guess that this man is capable of so much evil?  Emily couldn't.

I slowly make my way over to him and I sit down in one of the chairs next to him.  He doesn't look up from his position, I'm almost sure that he didn't notice me approach.  I clear my throat and prepare to speak.

"I'm sorry about Emily…"

I look at him sitting there, I wasn't sure if he heard me.  I then heard him let out a long sigh.

"Thank you."

We sit there for a moment, silent.  I watch him, well more like I watch the back of his head.  This man has taken from me so much, and he will pay for it now.

"Today I have lost someone that I love, as well." I say as I start to feel my throat tightening just thinking about the last two days.  "I lost the woman that I loved because of you."

I watch him.  I watch him as he slowly straightens his back and pulls his tear-streaked face out of his hands.  I watch him as he slowly turns his head to face me.  I watch him as he looks at my tear-streaked face and I see a glimmer of recognition in his eyes.

He recognizes me as the man in the pictures with Sydney Bristow taken by Security Section.

He recognizes me as the man who found Sydney's broken body on the warehouse floor.

He recognizes me as the man who spent two straight days pacing a hospital waiting room floor.

He recognizes me as the man who held her hand as she succumbed to the injuries his assassins inflicted upon her.

He recognizes me as the man who wept, wept bitterly for the loss of his very soul, for the woman that he loved.

"Who are you?"

I slowly rise and reach into my jacket.  I pull my revolver from my holster and I aim it dead center at his chest.  I look him square in the eyes and I bitterly reply.

"I'm your worst enemy, I've got nothing to lose."

BLAM!  BLAM!  BLAM!  BLAM!

As I finish unloading my clip into his dead body, I suddenly hear someone barge in through the stairwell.    Filing out of the stairwell are five guards, members of Security Section, no doubt.  If I was Sydney I would probably take them all out and make it out of here, but I'm not and I have nothing left to make me try.

I could have gone home and gotten some rest, like Eric suggested, but I didn't

I could have brought more clips of ammunition, but I didn't.

I could have worn a Kevlar vest, but I didn't

I could have made it to the warehouse before Sydney, but I didn't.

I could have told her how I felt when she could hear me, not at the side of her deathbed, but I didn't.

I could have ….

BLAM!  BLAM! BLAM!

-Fin