AN: Ummmm... I really have no explanation of my lazidaical (is that even a word?) ways. I'm just an extremely lazy person and thats why you all should be like... pissed at me now, as I'm sure you are... anyways, a nice little one shot i had written about a year ago, and decided, why the hell not...
Somewhere Only We Know
He looked outside the window and sighed. As if the day could get worse, he thought to himself, now it's going to rain. He strode down the hall and up the stairs; the twists and turns came to him naturally, as if ten years could seriously make him forget. As if 8 years of depression, of having to scrape together money found in sock drawers and on street corners could make him forget. He passed the bathroom, the faucet, he wished, was running again, Robin standing behind it staring in the mirror affectionately at his reflection as he gelled his hair to perfection.
"Save some water for the fishes," Beastboy would ask laughingly. Robin would turn to him, hands on his jet black hair rubbing the goop into his head. Then he would turn back to the mirror and spike his hair with extraordinary care.
"Beastboy," he would start as he finished with his locks, "The fishes have 90 of the world to swim in, I only have what comes out of this faucet. So let me get what I need and leave the fishes to their salt," Robin would reply jokingly, laughing when he turned off the faucet and patted his friend on the back, "That's my BB, always concerned for the common reptile," They would laugh and walk to the common room together.
"Well Robin, I don't believe fish are reptiles..."
"They're amphibians." He sighed and turned from the bathroom, unable to look at the dust filled room that used to be a host to so many constipated Titans. He was walking to the kitchen now, he could almost smell the nauseating stench of Starfire's cooking, almost hear the bubbling of gook from far off planets. He turned to the big screen T.V. that loomed before him, games of glee and happiness had once been played, for continuous hours, at this monstrous device. Joy was once part of this place. He picked up a time forsaken controller to a long forgotten obsession. It cracked in his hand from years of not being used. Rusted and old, he threw the plastic technology aside.
"Hey, Cyborg, turn it down. I am trying to read," She asked in a placid fever.
"One sec, Rave, I gotta win this game. Oh, wait, correction, I'm gonna win this game," Crash, the sound echoed an ego that had followed the same route of defeat, "In your face green genes!" Cyborg whooped victoriously.
"Hey, I only lost so you would listen to Raven. My ears are burning and I think my brains gonna explode!" He claimed.
"What little brain you have," She muttered under her breath.
"I heard that!"
Her, Raven, a constant in his life, until thirteen years ago, the one constant, the constant nagging, the constant annoying, the constant bickering, fighting and all other manner of obscene content. And, most of all, the constant feeling that she absolutely positively had to be happy, and that he was the only one who could do it. A constant shut-out, shut-in, and shut-down.
"If only we were here again, if only we hadn't lost track of what we were. We were family, and they ruined that. They all ruined it. Why did they have to go off and get lives? Wasn't I enough to make them stay? Wasn't I a good enough friend?" His eyes welled up with saline, his mouth became cottony and dry and his heart ached with tremendous pain, "Things weren't supposed to change, they were supposed to stay the same forever. We were supposed to grow up together, and Star and Robin were supposed to have little children running at our feet!" He screamed to no one. He thought back on when everything had first changed, the catalyst that sent the rock rolling. If only Cyborg hadn't left, everything might have been different...
"Hey, guys, listen. I have to go for a little while, there's a boy in Oklahoma who's been in an accident like the one I went through. S.T.A.R. labs wants to study me to see if they can use my father's technology to save him." Cyborg explained enthusiastically, his bags in hand, "I want to do whatever I can to save him, I hear he has telekinesis, and once he and I are fixed up, I'll ask him to join the team," He smiled triumphantly.
"So you will be back, correct?" Starfire asked fearfully. Cyborg smiled reassuringly back at her, and took her into a deep hug.
"Of course Star, when has good ole' Cyborg ever let you down?" He laughed and they laughed along with him, he wave goodbye and left.
They had waited months for him to come back, years even. Last Beastboy had heard of Cyborg, he had passed away in the operating room the third week into S.T.A.R. labs research. But he had helped the boy, he had become a famous villain known by the name of Tellico, he was not a very creative child. Beastboy cursed the boy a thousand times over; it was because of him that the world was the way it was today. Why was he allowed to live and Cyborg allowed to die? Beastboy had realized, without Cyborg's guidance and invitation to the Titans, the boy had not known what to do. Beastboy, no longer a boy, looked around him, Cyborg's father had created this tower, had created Cyborg himself. And, Beastboy had yet another revelation, the tower had fallen apart with either of the two. Beastboy had lived in it for seven years and then left, and at the age of thirty-three, he had finally begun to realize that this place was more significant to society than the world had let it seem. The world was not a joke and poor Beastboy had found that out the hard way.
"I have to go..." Every one of them started, each of them making a statement that changed his life forever.
"...Batman needs someone at his side," Robin had claimed and left without a single goodbye, not even to his Star.
"... There is a civil war on Tameran, the Far'eks are declaring that the royal family is lying, that the Citadel is not back. I must help," Starfire had claimed, her arms filled with everything she had ever owned on Earth. Her eyes not soggy, but full of determination. And lastly...
"... on a pilgrimage to return the control of my powers," Raven had pleaded desperately.
"I have to leave," He told the tower, his words echoing in sort of a gloomy goodbye from the building itself. The building that had watched a family come out of the womb, grow, and then die, "Because... because I don't want to see her face anymore," Beastboy had claimed, and then turned the lights off for the last time.
The tower had been left to rot, and the island that housed it began to infest it. Somehow, the amazing security system that Cyborg and his father had developed, the one that had kept out so many villainous evils, had not kept the rats and squirrels out, and birds had found nesting places among the cupboards filled with long forgotten plates and once loved souvenir cups of Mega Monkeys and Mickey Mouse. The city couldn't tear it down because of the economy crash in 2012.
Tellico had immense intelligence and power; it was increased so much more with the technology Mr. Stone had built to give his son a second chance, that he knew exactly how to make the economy collapse lastingly. Ever since Tellico had acted upon the government in revenge about the way he was treated for being a Cyborg, (In the year 2011, the trial of Perry VS Gable had decided that Cyborgs and other robotic types did not have the right to vote because they were not technically human.), the economy had been in a deep depression. Jump City had been broke and did not have enough money to hire a demolition team to destroy the tower.
Beastboy thought about the time before the depression, six years to be exact. That was the last year he had been in the tower with some one other than his reflection. That was the last year he had been with Raven. That year was his absolute happiest because Raven finally opened up and became his best-friend. After losing yet another friend to life, Raven and Beastboy threw themselves into routine. The city was hardly half safe with only two heroes on alert, so Raven would be constantly watching the computer screen for updates and alerts about the city's status. Beastboy, on the other hand, would be working himself to death surveying the city from ally ways and building tops, from the docks to the 'burbs, and from uptown to downtown to the ghettos.
After quite some time they both got tired enough to sit down and just stare at the T.V., they had finally worked the sorrow out of their systems, and decided to have fun with each other while they still could. From then on there were many late night movie marathons experienced in sweatpants and ill-fitting tee-shirts, forced carnival rides, and late night sleepovers, no matter how unlikely that all seemed for Raven to do. The tower was much too big for the two Titans; it felt like a mausoleum with white tiles and transparent ghosts of memory. It was filled with steel that made it feel like they lived in Switzerland, not sunny California. So the empath and the shape changer stayed together in the common room, sleeping bags and makeshift beds served as perfect sleeping materials. The buckets of ice cream were bought in the dozens for Raven, and the popcorn for Beastboy was bought by even larger quantities. There were many times of joy and carrying on that happened in that room. Back then, there was no one to stop them. The only thing that stopped the best friendship that had probably ever been seen in the history of the world was Raven. Their friendship was causing her to lose her powers, and she needed to control them, lest she lose Beastboy because of them.
"Beastboy I..." She started.
"You have to go, don't you? Don't act surprised that I know this. Raven, I've heard that same exact sentence too many painful times to not know what is going to happen when you say it. Do you need to help Batman too? Or is a little girl dying in need of your powers? How about Azerath is having a civil war! Why not, any excuse to leave, right Raven?!" He stood up and screamed, "What is so important that you need to leave me? What is it!?!" He yelled, anger coursing throughout his veins, pumping to his reddening face, to his tightening hands, to his tearing eyes. She stared at him, eyes stinging and throat full.
"My powers, Gar, they've been slipping lately. I... I really have to go on a pilgrimage to return the control of my powers," She cupped his cheek and he looked down. Tears were running down his cheeks in streams of pure sorrow. Raven's eyelids couldn't hold anymore and she let two droplets of gloom past, "You'll always be my best-friend, Gar, absolutely," She smiled woefully at him, "Don't forget me. I'll be back, I'll see you again, I promise," She smiled a little wider and kissed him on the cheek, "Bye Gar, Beastboy, bye."
"Yeah... see ya," He replied miserably.
And she left, gone, out of his life. That was thirteen years ago. They hadn't seen each other again. None of them, not Robin, not Starfire, not Raven, and, of course, not Cyborg had even tried. Now that he thought about Cyborg, they hadn't even had a funeral for Cyborg, even though none of them had known where his body would be found. None of them had tried to talk to each other again, seven years of being a family, of loving each other, not one of them had tried to stay friends. Beastboy too, he didn't try, not that he had the slightest chance of finding any of them. He wouldn't be able to find them because he wouldn't know where to look, and he wouldn't know where to look because heroes were an extinct species...
Heroes had been outdated by technology years before the Titans, but they kept on going until their inevitable demise. If anything the depression had started it, slowly and with extreme subtlety, but Batman had been the catalyst. With more people stealing, things like food and money, heroes were needed more than ever, but they couldn't keep up. One day, Batman had gotten sloppy, he had tried to stop the Joker, bang, and his brains were on a wall. Batman's brain was splattered on the wall, Batman was dead, the thought was inconceivable.
Shortly after Batman's funeral, Lois Lane's plane had gone down in the Mediterranean Sea on her way to Iraq; her body could not be found, not even by her x-ray vision enhanced husband. For months after her death, Superman had had horrible nightmares, seeing Lois's face as she went down, screaming for her husband, for Superman, but even he was not fast enough to save her. He had gone mad, the nightmares coming during the day, and the thoughts of his love plaguing his every moment, conscious or unconscious. One day, he just snapped, just... broke. Clark Kent was admitted to an asylum, and Superman disappeared. And the world needs a Superman.
Months later, mourning both Batman and Superman, Wonder Woman's sorrow was great. The other heroes felt her pain, mourned with her, and tried to comfort her as well. She exiled herself to Paradise Island, swearing to never step on man's land ever again. She beseeched the Gods, and they obliged, Paradise Island disappeared along with every Amazon that lived upon it.
And with the first superheroes, the ones every other superhero looked up to, gone, other heroes soon followed. The strongest were the first to go; The Flash got paralyzed from the waist down in a terrible car accident, his speed forever lost in his unmoving legs. The Martian Man-hunter disappeared and even the best detectives couldn't locate his whereabouts. Aquaman swam too close to toxic waters and they filled his lungs, suffocating him and drowning him. The Green Lantern was killed in a battle in space on duty near the Crab Nebula. And lastly, Hawkman was stabbed in the stomach, arm, and heart while in a fight against the Fatal Five, and was in critical condition for 13 days before he finally worsened far enough to where his heart failed, even 100 volts couldn't bring him back.
Every hero was awestruck, why couldn't they save the day anymore? What was wrong with them? With the original "Justice League of America" gone, then the JSA, some heroes gave up hope. How could there be hope when no one was there to lead them? When no one was there to guide them? Other heroes continued on, until they themselves got killed. Only a small few were left standing by the year 2020, and Beastboy was one of them. If any other heroes had survived the horrible onslaught of fate, he wouldn't know it. To him, he was alone. A lone superhero in a world where superheroes did not exist.
Crash! He whipped around, fighting stance set and ready. He thought he was alone, thought he could mourn his friends, his family, his love in peace. He suddenly became furious, this was his home! This was his family's place! How dare someone come in and ruin his chance to believe that life could be good again. He ran in the direction of the noise, he didn't need an animal to help him destroy this person, he could do it all with his own human hands.
As he turned the corner he realized where the sound had come from, Raven's Room. How dare they! He had been in love with that girl, woman, and he still was. How dare they even think of entering such a sacred place. He growled deeply under his breath and broke the door open. His rage getting the best of him.
When he entered a figure twirled themselves around. They were knelt down trying to clean up the mess they had just made. He growled ferociously at them.
"Who do you think you are?!" He asked viciously, "What is wrong with you, defiling the home of the only heroes to care about your shitty town in years. You should be getting this tower bronzed not destroying the only room in it that has yet to be ruined!!" He screamed at the person, his eyes welling up with tears, How dare they, he screamed inside his head as he broke down into tears, how dare they. Finally, he fell on his knees, his sobs overcoming him. He couldn't stop them, I'm a man, he thought, I'm a thirty year old man, stop crying, stop CRYING! He couldn't, he just couldn't. The figure walked over to him quietly, their feet so soundless that it was almost like they weren't walking at all.
"Gar, I know, I know Gar," They said, their voice deep and yet still very feminine.
"You know what?? How could you understand me at all?" He sniffled into her chest as she held him. He realized she was wearing all white and that she was holding him like someone he remembered he used to hug. But she didn't say anything more. Gar was thoroughly embarrassing himself in front of a complete stranger, almost baring his soul to someone who was squatting in the home of the titans. Yet, he didn't mind, he had been alone now for 13 years, and he wasn't about to give up the only companionship he'd had in that entire time. And even with all this strangeness, it all felt familiar. What was this feeling inside of him that was making his sobbing stop, his anger fade.
"Eight years Gar, I came back, and for eight years I waited in this tower... you finally came back. God how I missed you, my best-friend, how could you have left me?" She sighed into his hair. She began to quietly cry into his fur-like hair. The softness assuaging the pain in her old and tired eyes, "How could you leave me..." He didn't understand what this woman was saying, what did she mean? What could she mean, he never left anyone, everyone had left him. What could this woman mean?
"Gar," her voice was shaking uncontrollably now, "Garfield, its me, its your best-friend, have you forgotten me, too? Just like you forgot this tower, just like you forgot everything, have you forgotten me?" And she slowly petted his head, as though she were rubbing a good luck charm, wishing that he didn't forget, that he remembered the only relationship that ever meant anything to her.
The voice, it was so familiar, and the hug, and the softness of her chest... it was all so familiar. Best-friend? Which one could it have been, the only girls that were his best-friends were Terra, Starfire and... Raven. Raven? But why would she say he left her when in fact it was she that left him. He couldn't build the courage to look at her face. What if it wasn't her, what if he got his hopes up for absolutely nothing. He turned around, eyes cemented shut.
"Look," He explained as he stood up, "You should leave, I don't want to..." She softly opened his eyes with her thumbs. She quietly came closer to him, her face slightly red with streaks of tears. He took in a quick pocket of air and looked at her, his heart began to beat like a drum, so fast he couldn't breathe.
"I've missed you, little green boy." She smiled at him through the sadness in her heart. And then she leaned forward and kissed him, kissed him long and sweet. Nice and slow, a kiss filled with meaning and love, not with hormones like the ones he had gotten when he was young, but a kiss that was like... like adulthood. She put her head on his shoulder and held him close to her. He was breathing hard, his heart wouldn't stop. He was thirty-three years old, and this was the first time a kiss had ever made his knees go weak. He rested his head on the top of hers and sighed.
"I missed you too, little goth girl." And they stayed there, forever, in the loving embrace that would always be theirs. The embrace being the only place that they felt safe in. Something only they could experience, somewhere only they knew.
AN: Much love to all my reviewers who, for some strange reason, are still faithful.
MUCH MUCH MUCH love, DM
Ps. You'll strain yourself if you try to do the math with the years, trust me, i tried to make everything as plausable as possible. And this was written in 2006, so all the dates are taken from then on...
