Disclaimer - I own nothing of RENT or Avenue Q. Both belong to their respected owners. 'Nuff said.
Italics are song lyrics.
A/N: I was listening to my Avenue Q soundtrack earlier today and thought that the song The Internet Is For Porn would be a funny songfic.
Summary: AU: Mimi is sitting at her new computer when Collins begins singing The Internet Is For Porn from Avenue Q. Rated M for language. Takes place in 2007.
Genre: Parody/Humor
Rating: M
"Finally, I'm at home with my new computer!" Mimi squealed, turning on her computer. She and Roger had gotten better jobs and could afford things like the Internet and a computer.
"The Internet is really, really great." Mimi sang as Collins came into the loft, a beer bottle in his hand.
"For porn." Collins sang. Mimi looked over her shoulder, ignoring him.
"I've got a fast connection so I don't have to wait." Mimi crooned, typing in a name of a sight she wanted to visit in the 'search' area.
"For porn." Collins belted.
"Huh? There's always some new sight-" Mimi sang.
"For porn!" Collins interrupted.
"I browse all day and night." Mimi continued singing.
"For porn!" Collins belted.
"It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light." Mimi crooned.
"For porn!" Collins shouted.
"Collins!" Mimi whined.
"The Internet is for porn." Collins sang.
"Collins!" Mimi warned.
"The Internet is for porn." Collins sang, ignoring Mimi.
"What are you doing?" Mimi asked. Collins came around to where Mimi was and stood next to her.
"Why do you think the net was born? Porn, porn, porn." Collins sang. Mimi rolled her eyes.
"Col-lins!" Mimi whined.
"Oh, hello Mimi." Collins greeted her.
"You're ruining my song." Mimi told him.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." Collins told her.
"Well, if you wouldn't mind please being quiet for a minute so I can finish." she told him, flipping her hair over her shoulder.
"I won't talk." Collins told her, zipping his lip.
"Good." Mimi said, turning her attention back to her computer. "I'm glad we have this new technology." Mimi sang.
"For porn." Collins sang.
"Ugh. Which gives us untold opportunity." Mimi crooned.
"For por--oops, sorry." Collins apologized. Mimi rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to her computer.
"Right from your own desktop." Mimi crooned, typing as she sang.
"For ---" Collins sang. Mimi put a hand over his mouth.
"You can research, browse and shop. Until you've had enough and you're ready to stop." Mimi sang quickly. Collins swatted her hand away and took a deep breath.
"FOR PORN!" he sang/shouted.
"Collins!" Mimi complained.
"The Internet is for porn!" Collins sang.
"Noooo!" Mimi whined.
"The Internet is for porn!" Collins sang, totally ignoring Mimi.
"Collins!" Mimi whined.
"I'm up all night honking my horn for porn, porn, porn!" Collins sang, sitting on the couch.
"That's gross! You're a pervert!" Mimi scolded him.
"Ah, sticks and stones, Mimi." Collins said, going to the fridge and got out a beer.
"No, really. You're a pervert. Normal people don't sit at home and look at porn on the Internet." Mimi told him.
"Oh???" Collins asked, looking at her funny.
"What?" Mimi asked.
"You have no idea. Ready normal people?" Collins asked. Mark, Roger, Benny and a friend of Roger's named Gary- came into the loft.
"Ready." Mark said.
"Ready." Roger said.
"Ready." Benny said.
"Ready." Gary spoke up.
"Let me hear it!" Collins told them.
"The Internet is for porn." Collins and the guys sang. Roger looked at Mimi apologetically and shrugged his shoulders.
"All these guys unzip their flies for porn, porn, porn!" Collins sang, smiling at the guys. Thank God that Maureen, Joanne and Angel weren't at the loft - they would've been mad (well, Maureen and Angel would be - Joanne, not so much).
"The Internet is not for porn!" Mimi exclaimed, but the guys ignored her.
"Porn! Porn P---" the guys sang when Mimi put a hand up. The five of them instantly stopped singing.
"HOLD ON A SECOND!" Mimi shouted. "Now I know for a fact that you, Benny, check your portfolio and trade stocks online." Mimi pointed at Benny.
"That's correct." Benny told her.
"And Mark, you check your status on Facebook." Mimi reminded him.
"Sure!" Mark responded.
"And Gary, you keep selling your possessions on Ebay." Mimi said, looking up from her computer. Gary nodded and smiled.
"And Roger, you sent me that sweet online birthday card." Mimi told him, smiling.
"True." Roger told her, smiling at his girlfriend.
"Oh, but Mimi - what do you think he did after? Hmmm?" Collins asked. Mimi got a disgusted look on her face. She could hear Benny, Mark, Gary and Roger snickering.
"EWWWWWWW!" she exclaimed, shutting the computer down.
"The Internet is for porn!" the guys burst into song.
"Gross!" Mimi told them.
"The Internet is for porn!" the guys sang.
"I hate porn." Mimi announced.
"Grab your dick and double click." Collins and the guys sang.
"I hate you men." Mimi told the guys, not believing that Roger would even dream of looking at a naked woman - except her.
"For porn, porn, porn." they harmonized.
"I'm leaving." Mimi announced, getting up from her computer and walked to the room that she and Roger shared.
"Porn, porn, porn, porn
Porn, porn, porn, porn." Collins and the guys sang, ignoring Mimi.
"I hate the Internet." Mimi told the guys.
"Porn, porn, porn, porn." the guys harmonized.
"The Internet is for." Collins sang.
"The Internet is for porn!" All the guys sang.
"Yeah!" Collins whooped.
Mimi told herself that she would never use the computer in the loft ever again.
