Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim and other, lesser, characters. They are
copyrighted to J-j-j…uh… whoever they belong to. ^_^ Other characters that
aren't IZ original characters are just Irkens/people that I used to fill up
empty slots in the story, so they are free character. They are free to be
themselves and live a happy life while laughing at other characters. And I
also do not own Romeo and Juliet. That is copyrighted to Shakespeare… I
think. Most of the lines are taken form my Lit. book. Please don't sue me!!
Author's Note: This is a parody of Romeo and Juliet. I thought it would be cute to do. Uh… I should also list who is playing whom. I would also like to say that, I guess, this is a semi GAZR, or a Gaz and Zim romance. Well what would you think Romeo and Juliet would be?? That's what I thought. Also I would like to note that in any of my other Zim stories, if I ever get to writing them…, Gaz and Zim will not like each other. Does Gaz actually like anyone?? Tanky you for reading my long note.
Cast of Characters:
(Okay here's the key to the characters.
Example: IZ character-Actual character- Info {if needed})
The Irkens (aka Montagues):
Tallest Red- Lord Montague
1.1 Tallest Purple- Lady Montague- Don't worry, he's a guy in this!
1.2 Zim- Romeo
Lan- Benvolio- Friend of Zim (An Irken)
Robot- Balthasar- Servant of Zim (not GIR)
Naven- Abram- Servant to The Almighty Tallest (an Irken)
1.2.1 The Human Worm Babies (aka Capulets)
1.3 Prof. Membrane- Lord Capulet
Janet- Lady Capulet- A reporter (remember this is just to fill a spot)
Gaz- Juliet
Dib- Tybalt- Gaz's brother
Daisy- Nurse- Kid who does Gaz's bidding, or else
Peter- Peter- Daisy's brother
Bob- Sampson- Lab assistant for Professor Membrane
Bill- Gregory- Lab assistant for Professor Membrane
Old man- Old man- ??
The Others:
Mrs. Bitters- Prince Escalus- ruler of uh whatever the city Dib lives in.
Gir- Mercutio- friend of Zim
Friar Laurence -Friar Laurence- a priest
Friar John- Friar John- a priest
Josh - Count Pairs- young rich kid who, for some strange reason, likes Gaz
A Pharmacist
Page- Page- Messenger of Josh
Chief Watchman
Three Musicians
An officer
People of Verona, Relatives, Maskers, Guards, Watchmen, and Attendants
2 The Tragedy of Zim and Tak
2.1.1 Prologue-
Chorus- Two households, both alike in dignity…
Dib- I am nothing like those aliens!!!
Chorus- It's just the prologue! Anyways…*ahems* In fair Verona, where we lay our scene, …
Dib- We don't live in Verona!!!
Chorus- Oh if your so smart, where do you live?? Hmm?
Dib- Uhh… good question. I guess Verona won't be such a bad place…
Chorus- *rolls eyes* As I was saying. From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. Got a problem with this you bigheaded boy??
Dib- My head is NOT big! But no carry on.
Chorus- Good. From forth the fatal loins of these two foes a pair of star- crossed lovers take their life; whose misadventured piteous overthrows do with their death bury their parents' strife.
Dib- Huh?
Chorus- It means that two lovers kill themselves, which ends their parents' feud.
Dib- Ohhh.
Chorus- The fearful passage of their death-marked love, and the continuance of their parents' rage, which, but their children's end naught could remove, is now the two hours traffic of our stage; the which if you with patient ears attend, what here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.
2.1.2 Act 1: Scene 1: Part 1
{Verona. A public place}
[Enter Bob and Bill, of the house of Membrane, with lasers swords.]
Bob- Bill, on my word, we'll not do dirty work.
Bill- No, for then we should be men with dirty jobs.
Bob- I mean, if we be in anger, we'll draw.
Bill- Ay, while you live, draw your neck out of the hangman's noose.
Bob- I strike quickly, being moved.
Bill- But thou art not quickly moved to strike.
Bob- A dog of the house of Irken moves me.
Bill- To move is to stir, and to be valiant is to stand. Therefore, if thou art moved, thou run'st away.
Bob- A dog of that house shall move me to stand. I will take the wall of any man or maid of The Tallest Red's.
Bill- That shows thee a weak slave; for the weakest goes to the wall.
Bob- 'Tis true; and therefore the doomed, being the weaker vessels, are ever thrust to the wall.
Bill- The quarrel is between our masters and us their men.
Bob- 'Tis all one.
Bill-They must take it in sense that feel it.
Bob- Me they shall feel while I am able to stand; and 'tis known I am a pretty piece of flesh.
Bill- 'Tis well thou art not fish; if thou hadst, thou hadst been Poor John.
Bob- Wait… what were we talking about again??
Bill- I have no clue. Draw thy tool! Here comes two of the house of Irkens!
[Enter two other serving… uh… thingies, a robot and Naven, servant of The Almighty Tallest]
Bob- My laser sword is out. Quarrel! I will back thee.
Bill- How? Turn thy back and run?
Bob- Do not distrust me!
Bill- No, I fear thee!
Bob- Let us stay on the right side of the law; let them begin.
Bill- I will frown as I pass by, and let them take it as they list.
Bob- Nay, as they dare. I will bite my thumb at them, which is disgrace to them is they bear it.
Naven- Do you bite your thumb at us, you disgusting stink-human?
Bob- I do bite my thumb, sir.
Naven- Do you bite your thumb at us, you stink-worm dirt…thingy?
Bob- (aside to Bill) Is the law on our side if I say ay?
Bill- (aside to Bob) No.
Bob- No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you sir; but I do bite my thumb, sir.
Bill- Do you quarrel, sir?
Naven- Quarrel, you stink-thingy?
Bob- But if you do, sir, I am for you. I serve as good a man as you.
Naven- No better.
Bob- Well, sir.
[Enter Lan and Dib]
Bill- Say "better." Here comes one of my master's kinsmen.
2.2 Bob- Yes, better, sir.
Naven- You lie.
Bob- Draw, if you be men. Bill, remember thy swashing blow.
Naven- Were not men you dirty worm… thing!
[They fight. Yes the Irken and the robot have laser swords too.]
Lan- Part, fools! Put up your swords. You know not what you do.
Dib- What, art thou drawn among these cowardly hicks? (Dramatic pause) Turn thee, Lan; look upon thy death!
Lan- I do but keep the peace. Put up thy sword, or manage it to part these men and Irkens with me.
Dib- What, drawn, and talk of peace? I hate the word as I hate hell, all Irkens, and thee. Have at thee, coward.
[Dib pulls out his laser sword and Lan fight]
[Enter an officer, and 3 or 4 citizens with boards, bats, and other useless weapons.]
Officer- Strike! Beat them down! Down with the Membranes! Down with the Irkens!
[Enter Prof. Membrane and a reporter, Janet]
Prof. Membrane- What noise is this? Give me my long sword!
Janet- But Prof. Membrane, you do not fight!
Prof. Membrane- My toast I say! The Tallest have come and they flourish curly fries in spite of me!
[Enter Tallest Red and Tallest Purple]
Tallest Red- Thou villain Membrane! Hold me not; let me go!!
Tallest Purple- Why don't we just insult him with curly fries?
Tallest Red- Good idea.
[The Tallest take out curly fries]
[Enter Mrs. Bitters]
Mrs. Bitters- Doomèd subjects, will they not hear? What ho! You men, you doomed beasts. If you doomèd things ever disturb our doomed streets again, your doomèd lives shall pay the forfeit of doomed peace!
[Exit all but Prof. Membrane, Janet, and Lan]
________________________________________________________________
Hope you all like this first part to act 1:scene 1. Review! Or not. I do not care.
Author's Note: This is a parody of Romeo and Juliet. I thought it would be cute to do. Uh… I should also list who is playing whom. I would also like to say that, I guess, this is a semi GAZR, or a Gaz and Zim romance. Well what would you think Romeo and Juliet would be?? That's what I thought. Also I would like to note that in any of my other Zim stories, if I ever get to writing them…, Gaz and Zim will not like each other. Does Gaz actually like anyone?? Tanky you for reading my long note.
Cast of Characters:
(Okay here's the key to the characters.
Example: IZ character-Actual character- Info {if needed})
The Irkens (aka Montagues):
Tallest Red- Lord Montague
1.1 Tallest Purple- Lady Montague- Don't worry, he's a guy in this!
1.2 Zim- Romeo
Lan- Benvolio- Friend of Zim (An Irken)
Robot- Balthasar- Servant of Zim (not GIR)
Naven- Abram- Servant to The Almighty Tallest (an Irken)
1.2.1 The Human Worm Babies (aka Capulets)
1.3 Prof. Membrane- Lord Capulet
Janet- Lady Capulet- A reporter (remember this is just to fill a spot)
Gaz- Juliet
Dib- Tybalt- Gaz's brother
Daisy- Nurse- Kid who does Gaz's bidding, or else
Peter- Peter- Daisy's brother
Bob- Sampson- Lab assistant for Professor Membrane
Bill- Gregory- Lab assistant for Professor Membrane
Old man- Old man- ??
The Others:
Mrs. Bitters- Prince Escalus- ruler of uh whatever the city Dib lives in.
Gir- Mercutio- friend of Zim
Friar Laurence -Friar Laurence- a priest
Friar John- Friar John- a priest
Josh - Count Pairs- young rich kid who, for some strange reason, likes Gaz
A Pharmacist
Page- Page- Messenger of Josh
Chief Watchman
Three Musicians
An officer
People of Verona, Relatives, Maskers, Guards, Watchmen, and Attendants
2 The Tragedy of Zim and Tak
2.1.1 Prologue-
Chorus- Two households, both alike in dignity…
Dib- I am nothing like those aliens!!!
Chorus- It's just the prologue! Anyways…*ahems* In fair Verona, where we lay our scene, …
Dib- We don't live in Verona!!!
Chorus- Oh if your so smart, where do you live?? Hmm?
Dib- Uhh… good question. I guess Verona won't be such a bad place…
Chorus- *rolls eyes* As I was saying. From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. Got a problem with this you bigheaded boy??
Dib- My head is NOT big! But no carry on.
Chorus- Good. From forth the fatal loins of these two foes a pair of star- crossed lovers take their life; whose misadventured piteous overthrows do with their death bury their parents' strife.
Dib- Huh?
Chorus- It means that two lovers kill themselves, which ends their parents' feud.
Dib- Ohhh.
Chorus- The fearful passage of their death-marked love, and the continuance of their parents' rage, which, but their children's end naught could remove, is now the two hours traffic of our stage; the which if you with patient ears attend, what here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.
2.1.2 Act 1: Scene 1: Part 1
{Verona. A public place}
[Enter Bob and Bill, of the house of Membrane, with lasers swords.]
Bob- Bill, on my word, we'll not do dirty work.
Bill- No, for then we should be men with dirty jobs.
Bob- I mean, if we be in anger, we'll draw.
Bill- Ay, while you live, draw your neck out of the hangman's noose.
Bob- I strike quickly, being moved.
Bill- But thou art not quickly moved to strike.
Bob- A dog of the house of Irken moves me.
Bill- To move is to stir, and to be valiant is to stand. Therefore, if thou art moved, thou run'st away.
Bob- A dog of that house shall move me to stand. I will take the wall of any man or maid of The Tallest Red's.
Bill- That shows thee a weak slave; for the weakest goes to the wall.
Bob- 'Tis true; and therefore the doomed, being the weaker vessels, are ever thrust to the wall.
Bill- The quarrel is between our masters and us their men.
Bob- 'Tis all one.
Bill-They must take it in sense that feel it.
Bob- Me they shall feel while I am able to stand; and 'tis known I am a pretty piece of flesh.
Bill- 'Tis well thou art not fish; if thou hadst, thou hadst been Poor John.
Bob- Wait… what were we talking about again??
Bill- I have no clue. Draw thy tool! Here comes two of the house of Irkens!
[Enter two other serving… uh… thingies, a robot and Naven, servant of The Almighty Tallest]
Bob- My laser sword is out. Quarrel! I will back thee.
Bill- How? Turn thy back and run?
Bob- Do not distrust me!
Bill- No, I fear thee!
Bob- Let us stay on the right side of the law; let them begin.
Bill- I will frown as I pass by, and let them take it as they list.
Bob- Nay, as they dare. I will bite my thumb at them, which is disgrace to them is they bear it.
Naven- Do you bite your thumb at us, you disgusting stink-human?
Bob- I do bite my thumb, sir.
Naven- Do you bite your thumb at us, you stink-worm dirt…thingy?
Bob- (aside to Bill) Is the law on our side if I say ay?
Bill- (aside to Bob) No.
Bob- No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you sir; but I do bite my thumb, sir.
Bill- Do you quarrel, sir?
Naven- Quarrel, you stink-thingy?
Bob- But if you do, sir, I am for you. I serve as good a man as you.
Naven- No better.
Bob- Well, sir.
[Enter Lan and Dib]
Bill- Say "better." Here comes one of my master's kinsmen.
2.2 Bob- Yes, better, sir.
Naven- You lie.
Bob- Draw, if you be men. Bill, remember thy swashing blow.
Naven- Were not men you dirty worm… thing!
[They fight. Yes the Irken and the robot have laser swords too.]
Lan- Part, fools! Put up your swords. You know not what you do.
Dib- What, art thou drawn among these cowardly hicks? (Dramatic pause) Turn thee, Lan; look upon thy death!
Lan- I do but keep the peace. Put up thy sword, or manage it to part these men and Irkens with me.
Dib- What, drawn, and talk of peace? I hate the word as I hate hell, all Irkens, and thee. Have at thee, coward.
[Dib pulls out his laser sword and Lan fight]
[Enter an officer, and 3 or 4 citizens with boards, bats, and other useless weapons.]
Officer- Strike! Beat them down! Down with the Membranes! Down with the Irkens!
[Enter Prof. Membrane and a reporter, Janet]
Prof. Membrane- What noise is this? Give me my long sword!
Janet- But Prof. Membrane, you do not fight!
Prof. Membrane- My toast I say! The Tallest have come and they flourish curly fries in spite of me!
[Enter Tallest Red and Tallest Purple]
Tallest Red- Thou villain Membrane! Hold me not; let me go!!
Tallest Purple- Why don't we just insult him with curly fries?
Tallest Red- Good idea.
[The Tallest take out curly fries]
[Enter Mrs. Bitters]
Mrs. Bitters- Doomèd subjects, will they not hear? What ho! You men, you doomed beasts. If you doomèd things ever disturb our doomed streets again, your doomèd lives shall pay the forfeit of doomed peace!
[Exit all but Prof. Membrane, Janet, and Lan]
________________________________________________________________
Hope you all like this first part to act 1:scene 1. Review! Or not. I do not care.
