Let Me Be Good to You

Remy smiled as he leaned back from the table while nursing a root beer. He had gotten the urge to get out of the Acolyte base for a night and had quietly snuck out for a ride into town. Looking for a place to relax he stopped at a homely-looking bar in search of some pleasant diversions and possible feminine companionship. To his disappointment virtually all of the bar's patrons were male, but he discovered the bar also had a small band and stage where various entertainers could perform. Some of which Remy found more than acceptable and very pleasing to the eye.

Good thing Pyro isn't here, Remy thought as a pair of fire dancers finished their routine on stage. The patrons applauded their approval. He'd have given these people a real fire show. Not to mention several reasons to seek intensive therapy. He smirked while taking a sip from his drink. I gotta admit this place is pretty nice. Now if only they had more femmes performing here...

"Wasn't that a great show everybody?" A stout bar employee spoke into a microphone as the pair of fire dancers extinguished their torches and walked offstage. "Next up, let's give a big welcome to the Amazing Percy!"

"Thank you!" A lanky man came out brandishing a porkpie hat and cane. "This is for you mama!" He proceeded to do a very elegant soft shoe.

"BOO!" Several patrons hooted and began to hurl glasses, darts and lime peels at him.

"OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!" The Amazing Percy yelped as he quickly fled from the stage.

"Oh boy," Remy whistled. "Did that guy ever pick the wrong place."

"Uh, moving on," the employee at the microphone gulped as several patrons aimed their glasses at him in warning. "Back again by popular demand, here's one of your recurring favorites: the captivating Southern Belle!"

"Hey," Remy raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Finally some decent entertainment...huh?" Remy blinked as he recognized a very familiar figure.

"Ahem," Rogue appeared on stage wearing a black tank top, long dark blue skirt, black shoulder-length gloves, light blue dress scarf, black opaque stockings and black shoes. She gazed at the crowd as the band started up. "Dearest friends, dear gentlemen. Listen to my song."

"Huh?" Remy stared, completely stunned.

"Life down here's been hard for you. Life has made you strong," Rogue gave a wide smile. "Let me lift the mood. With my attitude!"

"I gotta be dreaming," Remy mumbled and slapped himself in the face a few times. He blinked and continued to see Rogue in front of him. "I'm not dreaming," he stuttered in realization.

"Hey fellas! The time is right!" Rogue began to prance around on stage. "Get ready! Tonight's the night! Boys, what you're hopin' for will come true! Let me be good to you!"

"WHAT?!" Remy nearly fell out of his chair.

"You tough guys! You're feelin' all alone!" Rogue purred while strutting her stuff. "You rough guys! The best o' you mutants and bums! All o' my chums!"

"Gah?" Remy's eyes glazed over.

"So dream on! And drink your beer!" Rogue sang while working her way across the stage. "Get cozy! Your baby's here! You won't be misunderstood! Let me be good to you!"

"I don't believe this," Remy's gaze was glued to the stage. "I never thought chérie would be into this...huh?" Remy's eyes bulged as the band picked up and Rogue began fiddling with her skirt.

"Hey fellas! I'll take off all my blues!" Rogue whipped off her scarf and skirt revealing a pair of black briefs.

"Homina...!" Remy succeeded in falling out of his chair. Several other patrons blew wolf-whistles. A few had to be restrained from rushing onto the stage.

"Hey fellas! There's nothin' I won't do! Just for you!" Rogue smirked and winked at the audience.

"Gah?!" Remy's eye began to twitch as he looked like he was about to have a stroke.

"Hey! We'd be willing to take you up on that!" A table full of burly patrons grinned at her.

"WHAT?!" Remy screamed glaring at them. "DIE!" He tackled the patrons and proceeded to beat the stuffing out of them. "SHE'S MINE! MINE YOU HEAR ME! MINE! MINE!"

"AAAGGGHHHHHH!" The patrons yelled painfully.

"Hey, break it up!" Several bouncers tried to subdue Remy, but quickly found they didn't stand a chance. "AAAHHHHHH!"

"MINE! MINE! MINE!" Remy foamed at the mouth while wailing on the patrons and charging everything that came within reach.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

"COME ON! LET'S GET HIM...AAAUUUGGGHHHHHH!" The remaining patrons jumped in to try and futily restrain Remy.

"MY ROGUE!" Remy howled insanely. "ROGUE MINE!"

"So dream on! And drink your beer!" Rogue sang as Remy continued to take on the rest of the bar. "Get cozy! Your baby's here!"

"HA!" Remy cackled as he kicked the last patron into unconsciousness.

"Oooh, butterflies," the beaten patron moaned.

"Hey boy, I'm talkin' to you!" Rogue pointed at Remy.

"Huh?" Remy snapped out of his craze and looked up at Rogue. "Me?"

"Your baby's gonna come through!" Rogue smiled and gave him a 'come-hither' look. "Let me be good to yoooooou!"

"Oh yeah!" Remy grinned and leapt up next to her. He reached out and brought her into a passionate embrace.

"Ready to accept and explore my offer?" Rogue purred as the rest of the bar seemed to fade away.

"That and more," Remy leaned in and dipped her.

"Hahahahaha! This is great!" Pyro whooped from somewhere close by.

"Shhh! Not so loud! You'll ruin the illusion," Mastermind hissed at him.

"Sorry," Pyro tried to sniffle his laughter. He and the other Acolytes huddled near the couch while watching Remy dance around in the middle of the recreation room. "You still got Gambit thinking he's off at some bar?"

"Yes," Mastermind's eyes glowed as he continued to use his powers on Remy. "And he'll keep thinking that as long as you keep quiet."

"Don't you think this has gone on long enough," Piotr blushed at Remy's latest actions. "He is going to be mad when he finds out he has been dancing with a sponge mop."

"Among other things," Pyro giggled uncontrollably. "I particularly liked it when he tore Mags' favorite chair apart and blew up the TV! That was priceless!"

"Says you," Sabertooth grunted somewhat angrily. "I still say you should have had him be the one prancing around while singing some stupid tune."

"I told you, my powers don't work that way," Mastermind frowned. "Besides, I thought we agreed this was more appropriate after what he did."

"Are you still mad at Gambit for feeding us an entire plate of lamb fries?" Pyro asked.

"Of course I am," Mastermind hissed. "Had I known what those things really were I would have had more. They're one of my favorites."

"Mine too," Sabertooth nodded.

"And that's why we're having Masty make this illusion for him," Pyro snickered as they continued to watch Remy. "So let's let Gambit enjoy it a while longer before having him crash back to reality."

"You know he is going to try and kill us when that happens, don't you?" Piotr asked.

"That's why we're getting it all on tape for insurance, blackmail and future posterity!" Pyro grinned holding the camera high. "Ya gotta love it!"


Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution or the song "Let Me Be Good to You".

I understand the comic versions of Gambit allow his powers to shield him from telepathy. However, in X-Men: Evolution Mesmero was shown to be able to mentally control Remy and affect him with psychic blasts. Also, Xavier was able to place a protective mental block in him. So I decided Remy should be vulerable to telepathy and mental illusions.