Hyper Responsibility

Title: Hyper Responsibility

Pairing: Palletshipping

Rating: T

w00t w00t! My first real shishi fanfic. Hyper Responsibility is quite angsty, and I envy those who can write Gary and Ash happy-go-flirty. Eh... No. My fic has to have alcohol abuse, drug experimentation, torture, arguing, pain and... Well, that's what angst is all about, no? Rated T for suggestive themes, violence, and language.

Shishi is AshxGary. SatoxGeru. Palletship. Dun like dun read. There names are the english dub because I know a lot of people find it easier to read that way. I DUN OWN POKEMON. Though if I did...

Hyper Responsibility

chapter one

"I'm sorry I couldn't come with you Ash, but I have some urgent research here that I really need to take care of." Oak blinked apologetically towards Ash as he boarded the small boat that would take him to Saida Island.

Ash turned to wave at him. "Don't worry about it Professor!" his last word was cut off as the boat lurched to a start.

The Professor didn't look convinced, but he smiled and nodded, yelling his answer over the sound of the motor. "Alright Ash! Tell Gary I said hello!" He waved as the boat started off, but since his lip-reading skills were zero to none, he was not able to catch Ash's answer as he left the mainland.

Ash sighed, thinking about the trip ahead of him. It had been Professor Oak's idea to visit Gary, and he was ashamed for not thinking of it first. Truthfully he had been secretly bitterly disappointed when Gary had not shown up to welcome him back to Pallet after completing another stretch of his journey. Even though every time before he had been there and gone, Ash always looked forwards to returning to his home town, knowing that Gary would be there.

The Professor had said that Gary was busy with research. At first that had been a fine excuse. Ash was happy to enjoy the welcome of Oak, Tracy, and his mother, as well as all his old friends in Pallet. But it had been the haunting silence of his countryside home in the blackness of night that had planted other ideas in his head on the subject of Gary's absence. What if he didn't want to see me? What if, Ash though miserably, He met someone during his research?

For Ash, who was paranoid of the worst, it seemed a likely thing to happen. He was never even sure where Gary and him had stood on their relationship. It was never pronounced -- maybe a fleeting kiss when no one was watching, secret messages in the barbed jabs of a rival. Holding his hand, and that one time . . .

He had put down the phone when those thoughts swirling in his mind. It was really stupid not to call ahead, especially when Professor Oak thought he had. But Ash didn't think he could bear it if Gary told him he couldn't come. And coming after he had been refused would have been a disastrously awkward, but inevitable. What if? What if? What if? He didn't realize that a low whimper had escaped his rose-coloured lips.

"Hey are you alright? You're looking kind of ill." The friendly voice of the researcher who was driving the boat who had introduced himself as Jared, called to Ash from over his shoulder, his voice tinged with an Australian accent. The raven-haired teen looked up groggily, waving his head to indicate he was fine, and gracing Jared with a fake smile. When the turquoise-haired man turned his head back, Ash clutched his stomach and held in tears -- it was so obvious. Gary obviously didn't want to see him, or he would have come.

Ash's stomach had grown no more resistant to his doubt in Gary when the island came into view. In fact, if all possible, it got worse. Ash wanted to ask Jared to turn back. He didn't want to -- he almost had. As soon as he opened his mouth the researcher had exclaimed how glad he was that they were nearing the island -- without refueling, he wouldn't be able to make it back to the mainland.

His breath quickened as they neared the dock, a lone figure standing to greet them. Despite all his misadventures, Ash's had never been serious enough to be hospitalized and learn breathing exercises, which may have been helpful now for his head was feeling light and dizzy.

"Ash?" he blinked, there was something about the way that Gary said his name . . . Like a slight accent on the a that he couldn't quite place. Gary had a slightly more rough, nasal voice . . . Maybe it was the slur between the a and the s.

"Ash? Ash are you alright?" The words Gary spoke snapped Ash back to reality, because starring at the ginger-brown haired teen so intently in public had to be a dream.

"G-Gary!" he stuttered, but Jared covered for his distraction.

"He didn't look too well coming over, but said he was feeling fine." said Jared, the driver, looking at the intense staring match happening between Ash and Gary with concern. "Gary, I have some more stuff to do on the mainland, I'm gonna go get some more fuel and head back, okay?" he didn't wait for an answer, but turned away.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Gary stepped forward, "Ash, I'm sorry I couldn't come home, I really wanted to, I promise . . ."

"You wanted to?" Asked Ash, blinking in surprise after he had convinced himself that Gary would never want to see him again.

"'Course I wanted to." Gary sighed, dragging a hand through his brown hair, and he grabbed Ash's hand to pull him towards the path that led through a dense group of trees. Ash allowed himself to be led, until Gary dropped his hand and Ash followed him silently. Gary had looked happy to see him, but as Ash glanced at his friend, he realized that Gary looked and sounded tired.

"Gary, are you okay?" Asked Ash, concern etched in his voice as he looked at Gary, who was staring ahead on the path unblinking.

"Yeah I'm . . . okay." he still sounded tired, his voice dragged slightly. But as soon as he turned and met Ash's eyes, the dark haired boy found himself dragged into the woods lining the path. He felt an instinctual panic as his foot caught and he fell, but Gary caught him and held him against the tree. The force of Gary's movement and the desperation in his eyes took Ash's breath away.

Gary didn't kiss him like Ash had expected, but just leaned on Ash, pressing his face into Ash's shoulder. Ash stood there, blinking is surprise as Gary clung to him, before speaking gently and hesitantly, "Gary?"

"I missed you." he murmured into Ash's jacket. And Ash relaxed, placing his hand on Gary's back. Was it possible that pokemon research was harder then it seemed? Ash had even thought that Gary was giving up, and had wanted to move onto something easier. Yet Gary had always seemed alive and confident when he was training, and now he seemed exhausted and worn out. Ash felt his shoulder going numb, "You just gonna stand here and use me as a pillow?"

"Huh." Ash felt a breath of air where Gary's mouth was as he lifted his head slightly. "You're almost as bad a pillow as you are a trainer." Ash's eyes widened, but Gary's telltale smirk confirmed that as usual, Gary was far from serious. "I need to get back . . ." he said few moments, with a resigned sigh he released Ash from the tree and stepped backwards, letting out a yelp as his foot caught on some ground plants and he tumbled backward. Ash reached for his hand instantly, but the other teen was also off balance and they both crashed down in a flurry of leaves and clothing. Gary opened his eyes and laughed, as did Ash once he knew Gary was alright. Their laughter dissipated into something weak, and Gary pulled him up off the ground.

"Come on Ash, I want you to see the lab!" he said, showing the first enthusiasm he had since Ash had arrived.

"Race you!" Ash cried, running forward while watching behind his shoulder. His words echoing in his head, emerging from a time long ago when they were both just children in Pallet Town.

"If you think I'm losing to a loser like you, you're wrong as usual." Gary growled, catching up with Ash.

"Not like it hasn't happened before." Ash said, meaning it playfully as he passed Gary, but Gary's eyes flashed darkly at his words, and by the time they reached the white building that Ash assumed was the lab, Ash was in the lead, with Gary lagging behind. He stopped to admire the way that Gary's white lab coat flared after him, kept dancing by the wind as he ran. "You look good in the lab coat." he said to Gary with a smirk, and Gary shrugged it off as he got close enough and attempted to wrestle Ash into the white coat with the words, "I bet you'll look better!" A women's voice cut through Ash's sounds of protest as he was smothered in the jacket.

"Oak?"

Gary turned around abruptly, shoving Ash (along with the coat) forcefully to the ground. "Professor Scymore! Sorry Professor, we were just, um, fooling around." Gary stuttered, bowing his head slightly.

"Oak, I feel I don't need to remind you that this is a professional establishment. "Fooling around" as you so tastefully put it, will not be tolerated." Her voice was high pitched with a wheezy puff behind each syllable. As Ash's head escaped the stranglehold of Gary's labcoat, which he was sure had the intention of taking his life, he saw the women who Gary referred to as Professor Scymore. She had pinched eyes and poorly dyed blond hair, whose colour still failed to disguise the obvious aging and silver-gray unerdeath the layer of grease on each strand. Ash felt a protective growl rise in his throat at the way she looked at Gary with sparkly pale blue eyes.

"Who is this Oak?" she snapped, pointing a long and skinny finger at Ash's body and the crumpled lab coat. Gary moved in front of Ash slightly, as the black haired boy struggled to right himself and dust off Gary's once pristine coat.

"I'm --" Ash began, but Gary quickly cut him off. "This is Ash Ketchum, my old friend."

Scymore stepped forward, forcing Gary away from Ash. She narrowed her eyes and thrust out a hand, of which Ash took hesitantly. Her grip was firm, and Ash felt her overly long nails grate the soft flesh of his hand. "Your friend." she said, and Ash shivered internally at the glance that passed between the Professor and Gary, before she turned back to Ash. "I expect that your friend will not disturb your work, Oak." Ash felt as if he has missed out on something as he noticed a faint blush appear underneath Gary's brown hair, and Scymore's face lit up gleefully as she brushed past him into the building.

Ash was, to say the very least, unnerved by his introduction to Professor Scymore. He felt worse however, when Gary spoke next. "That's Professor Scymore. My boss. The head researcher of Saida Research Center." his voice sounded totally defeated and resigned, unlike the challenging and confident Gary he had been as a trainer. With a sinking feeling of loathing and fear, Ash understood who was changing Gary so much . . .