2 AM
(Recommended Listening: 2am by Alexz Johnson)
The city was asleep. The stars shone brightly against the dark sky. There was no sound, except for a soft crunching, breaking the serene silence.
Silently, the figure walked through the snow. The ever present winter wind provided a stark reminder of what she left behind and she began to walk faster. The snow was falling faster now, but it was as gentle as always. She pulled back her hood and let the flakes fall into her long hair.
"You don't love him!"
The memory scorched her mind and she whipped around as though it had been said aloud. She walked backwards for a moment, her eyes searching everywhere, although for what, she was not certain. Seeing nothing, she continued to walk.
"You love me! How do you not see it?"
She shook her head and walked faster, as if trying to leave her memories behind her, far away. But the faster she walked, the faster the memories came.
"When are you going to wake up?"
She could barely see now, as both the tears and the snow fell faster and faster. She tripped and fell into the snow. She stayed there, and let the white and pain engulf her.
"Are you seeing what he does to you?"
Of course she did. The bruises told her what she couldn't remember. What she refused to remember, or even entertain.
"I love you. I want to help you!"
Help. Like anyone could help her now. Like anyone could stop him. She was too far gone, too far along. No one could help her now. Besides, she barely noticed it anymore. She had been afraid the first time that he had hit her, but now it was a part of her daily routine. Like breathing, it was something that happened without her knowledge.
"You deserve it." His cold, heartless voice after every time he did it rang in her head. She managed to pull herself under the shade of a tree in the park. Sitting against the trunk, she gently pulled up her sleeve, running her fingers along the clumps of black and blue.
"You deserve it."
"You deserve better.
The two conflicting thoughts were ranging eternal battle in her mind. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't defeat either.
"I love you." He said his voice emotionless, as if that was the reason that he did it.
"I love you." He said his voice gentle and full of concern for her.
She turned her body, as if turning away from the problem. If only it was that simple. She tried to push the thoughts from her head, instead watching the snow fall, gentler now, white on white. The city clock struck then, startling her. 2 a.m. Had she really been out that long?
Quietly, she again looked at the bruises. The tears flowed faster. She pulled her knees up to her chest as the sobs racked her body. She had to get out. She knew that. She just didn't know how.
Suddenly, she heard a tree branch snap and her head shot up. She could make out the slight outline of a lone figure, several feet away. Fear gripped her heart, but it quickly evaporated the minute the shadow spoke her name.
He came and sat next to her. She moved to cover her arm before he saw, but he was faster. His hand shot out and grabbed her arm. Silently, he turned her arm over and over in the moonlight studying the scars.
"Don't." She begged. "Whatever lecture you have, save it. Okay?"
He sighed and moved to wrap his arm around her, pulling her closer. "I don't want to lecture you. I want to help you."
She pulled out of his embrace. "I don't need help."
"So you're just going to let him keep hurting you?"
"He's not hurting me!"
Yes he is!" He cried in frustration. "When are you going to wake up and see it?" She turned away from him angrily, but he continued. "Sure not all of them leave physical marks. But I know you, I'm your best friend remember? I've seen the scars; physically, mentally, emotionally-"
"Why are you doing this?" She interrupted him. "Why do you even care?" It was a dumb question for sure. Not only was he her best friend, but he had just told her, hours ago, the answer.
He sighed. "You know why."
His response hung in the air. She tried to block out his presence and concentrate on her thoughts. But all that came up were the wretched memories that she had tried to bury earlier.
"You deserve it."
"You deserve better."
Her hand snapped up. "What?"
"You deserve better." He repeated as if it was the most obvious statement in the world.
She shook her head. "Y-you don't…"
"Yes, I do! Listen to me! Regardless of what he tells you, and I know that he does, you don't deserve it!" She started to object but he cut her off. "Nobody deserves it. Least of all you! I'm not just saying it because I," he faltered slightly before continuing, "love you. It's much more than that."
She sighed and rested her head against the tree trunk. "Please, don't. You have no idea what you're getting yourself into."
"I do. And I don't care."
"No, you don't!" She argued. "I-I'm not worth it."
"No," she whimpered as she moved to cover her face. "Please stop it!"
He took another step towards her, his hand raised to slap her again. "You worthless little slut." He growled. "You had this coming. You are worthless."
She cried out again as he came towards her. There was a sharp blast of pain, and then… nothing.
She had woken up on his bed. She attempted to get up but a sharp pain in her side caused her to fall back against the pillows. She glanced down at her body and gasped. Her arms and legs were covered in red gauze. Slowly, she removed the first aid wrap from her skin. What seemed like hundreds of fresh wounds covered her body. Shaking, she hid them again. Another movement reminded her of the pain in her side and she pulled up her shirt, a long ugly gash stretched nearly ribs to ribs.
"What happened?" She asked aloud. But only silence answered her. She glanced out the window, and the snow falling calmed her enough for her to come to her senses. She continued to watch it, silent.
"Get out." A voice inside her head–the voice of reason, most likely—ordered her and she quickly obeyed. She stumbled in the darkness for her shoes and hurried towards the front door. A white wonderland greeted her when she yanked open the door. She stood in awe for a moment before shaking her head and stumbling through the snow. For a brief instant she felt unworthy to even walk amongst the pure white. White stood for pure, clean. All the things that she was not.
This was how she found herself out in the middle of City Park at 2 a.m. She had freed herself. But for how long? And at what price? He said her name, and she shook her head, trying to clear her mind of the earlier memories. But something in her face must have given her thoughts away, because he was now looking at her even more intently, and with even more concern.
"What did he do to you?" He asked his voice soft. "Even if it's bad, I want to know. Please."
"No, you really-" She started, but then cut off. He looked at her with such concern that perhaps… 'No.' she mentally told herself. 'No…' The next thing that she knew, she was in his arms, and he was gently touching her cheek.
"I can help you." He said his voice barely above a whisper. "I can. But you have to let me. You need to get out. I'll protect you. I promise." But what was a promise?
"You said you wouldn't do it again!" She cried, her whole body shaking. "You promised!"
He gave a low chuckle. "What's a promise? People promise a lot of things that they don't mean. You also promised that you would never see him again."
"I-I tried. He's my best friend! I just can't…"
"You can. And you will. Best friend or not. I'll let it slide this time, but next time," he leaned down so that he could stare her squarely in the eye. "Next time, I won't be so generous. Next time, it will hurt even more. And that is a promise that I am willing to keep."
But his promises were different, weren't they? He kept his, unlike someone else who- She shook her head again, angry at herself. How did she get into these things? So many different decisions could have changed this. Where did she give up her control?
He waited patiently for her answer. He wouldn't hurt her, she knew that. He couldn't live with himself if he did. "Trust me." He whispered.
That stopped all trains of thoughts. Trust him? Of course she trusted him. But did she trust herself enough to stop this? She shook her head. "I don't want you to get involved." She took a deep breath. "You can't be Superman. I don't need you." With that, she hoisted herself up and began to walk away from him. But before she was out of earshot she heard him say, "I'm not going to give up on you." Tears were falling freely and she hurriedly wiped them away as she disappeared into the swirling white snow.
I actually found this story on my old blog and thought I'd publish it after all this time! Thanks for reading! -Lissie
