Disclaimer: The Lizzie Bennet Diaries belong to Hank Green and Bernie Su. I don't own any characters, in anyway, shape or form.
A/N: Hey everyone, just decided to write a short one shot about what Lizzie could be feeling after the Lydia incident. Had this in my head a couldn't get it out I guess.
I think its sad but I let you guys decide.
After she leaves Pemberley she doesn't mention him at all.
It is easier on her that way.
It hurts less.
She unfollows Pemberley Digital on twitter, because it reminds her of him and what could have been. She is going to unfollow him as well but she decides against it, she does not want to give him any more reasons to dislike her as much as he already does.
She has watched episode 84 enough times to know that he wants nothing to do with her.
X
It's when she is filming her 87th video when he is mentioned for the first time, since she has returned home.
Lydia's blaming herself for what was happening with George and what viewers were saying about her.
"You took Lizzie away from Darcy and Gigi, where she could have been happy." were Lydia's words.
She brushes the comment off with saying that the people who said that are wrong.
X
After the website has been taken down, Jane asks her about why she hadn't talked about her time with Darcy and Gigi at Pemberley.
"I saw your videos while you were at Pemberley and it seemed like you got on really well with Gigi. And Darcy. Why haven't you mentioned them or your time there?"
"No reason" she says as coolly as she can, "Other things have been on my mind lately. Anyway, how's that job hunt of yours going?"
Jane takes the hints and stops mentioning Pemberley, and him.
X
Lydia is the next one to bring him up.
She is talking about how she saw some dude wearing a bowtie the other day and it reminded her of him.
Lizzie just got up and left when Lydia asked her if she had heard from him.
X
Next it's when she is talking on the phone with Charlotte.
She goes on and on about how Lizzie flirted with Darcy in episode 83.
Lizzie just keeps on insisting that Charlotte is being immature and there was no way in hell that she'd flirted with the guy she hates.
Charlotte's response was "You don't hate him though."
Lizzie then changed the subject.
X
After that it's when her mother is ranting about Bing being back in town, at a family dinner.
"He will always be welcome here, even with that ridiculously proud and arrogant friend of his. It doesn't matter, as long as he is here."
Then Lizzie finds Jane's, Lydia's and even her fathers' eyes on her. Looking anxious about her reaction.
She gives nothing away and just takes another bite of her food. Now all the eyes on her seem to look elsewhere and their owners all look relaxed.
She just says nothing and takes another bite.
X
As soon as the table has been clear, she excuses herself, runs to her room, throws herself on her bed and cries.
She cries about she hates to hear his name because it makes her feel awful and guilty inside.
She cries about how she doesn't want to do her videos anymore because they just remind her of him.
She cries because she can't even look at her twitter account, because she doesn't want to know if he is happy because she is out of his life.
She cries because now whenever he is mentioned, her family looks at her to see if she is going to have a breakdown.
She cries, because she knows she can never have him.
And that just hurts.
A/N:Thanks for reading, I hope you guys liked it.
Feel free to leave a comment good or bad, I'm always up to constructive criticism.
Hope you're having a good day or night where ever you live :)
Rach
