I received a copy of Winnie the Pooh's Rumbly Tumbly Adventure on the Playstation 2. I love Winnie the Pooh. Every night I pray to him for spiritual guidance. He is my Father. But then, there was Pokemon. I fucking despise pokemon with a burning passion. Pikachu is yellow, like winnie the pooh. He is obviously cashing in on Winnie's dandelion yellow fur. Soft to the touch and absolutely irresistible. But pikachu, I will kill the mothertrucker. As I was saying, I received Winnie the Pooh's Rumbly Tumbly Adventure from my cousin who has aspergers, I love him. He's too good for me. I take his picture in my Winnie the Pooh shaped locket to work every single day, I always get so teared up at that picture. I loved that game as much as Winnie the Pooh himself, I kissed it on its plastic cover every night before going to bed. I always had a nightmare every night. Pikachu, pistol in those horrible chubby hands. I woke up at 3 AM and feeling Pikachu's presence, I had to play Winnie the Pooh's Rumbly Tumbly Adventure for PlayStation 2 to calm my nerves. The game booted up as normal, but that beautiful angelic music was lost as the Disney Interactive logo showed up. It was yellow and black as opposed to a simple rouge. Strange… The Ubisoft logo also played, yellow and black with no music. Perhaps this was some sort of easter egg, given to me by the game for my dedication to our Lord and savior Winnie. Although, I would assume that dedication to winnie would yellow and red. Weird. The game was real fucking weird. Everyone was there but Winnie the Pooh. Why not Winnie? The best bear of all the bear.
I shouted at the tv, "did I do something wrong, Winnie?!"
"I killed Winnie." Laughed a strange, deep, emboweled voice straight from Satan's lair.
An image of Pikachu covered the screen. He had a Hitler mustache and Nazi memorabilia proudly tied to its chest.
"You thought you'd see Winnie on your shitty game, but it was me, Pikachu!" It laughed.
"Hitler didn't want any fags, and Winnie was in love with you!"
I screamed a repulsive scream so loud the tv monitor shattered. I ran to my room, thinking only Winnie could save me. I opened my bedroom door to all of my Winnie the Pooh toys and shrines, slashed, burnt, and filled with bullet holes. I stopped to the ground, shocked, no idea where I should go or what I should even do.
Knock knock Said the door.
"Who's there?" I asked.
"Heil Hitler it's the motherfucking Nazi's!!!"
I tried to jump out of the window, but pikaHitler dashes in and pushed me to the ground.
"Heh, you can never hope to defeat me, Johnathon bon tallathan!" Yelled pikaHitler.
"No! I have the power of Pooh's love deep inside me!"
My eyes lit up us all the Winnie the Pooh merchandise glowed, no longer dead by pikaHitler's attack.
"Super ultimate love form!" I screamed pridefully.
"N-Nani?!" PikaHitler exclaimed, "how can this be?!?!"
"Open your eyes." I raised my fist, "maybe you'll see."
And with that I killed every Nazi with bare fists alone. However, I was still alone. I grasped the copy of Winnie the Pooh's Rumbly Tumbly Adventure one last time.
"We had a good run, pal."
"I'm sorry it had to be this way. Thank you for your dedication, johnathon. I love you."
And with that, it was all over. The plastic cover drifted in the wind.
The end
