Beyond the Pleasure Principle

typed by the.Merines

started: 5.16.06 20:09

finished: 05.18.06 14:36

published: 05.22.06 (Happy Birthday and Congratulations, Anno-san)

disclaimed: I do not own Evangelion, its characters, or the ideas presented in them. Evangelion is owned and copyrighted by studio Gainax. The scenario and characters belong to Anno Hideaki. I claim nothing for myself.

Introjection; This is My Life

Shinji collapsed onto the couch, starving and tired. His feet ached, which was understandable since he had been standing for the past eight hours. His stomach started to relax and began growling, but he was too worn out to make anything too ornate. Instant stuff would have to do. "Even though I ate that sandwich on lunch, I'm still so hungry," he sighed. No one was listening, mainly because no one else was there. "At least I have a couple weeks of paid vacation coming up... even if it is only for final exams."

He sighed again in the darkness of his apartment, unpinning his namebadge from his work shirt. He would have to do laundry again in a couple days, even though pay day was five days away and last week's check had already disappeared. A third sigh escaped Shinji's dry lips. On the bright side, there wasn't any homework tonight. He reached up and stroked the sorry excuse for facial hair protruding from his chin.

Surely he would receive a lecture from his supervisor soon. A recurring problem for Shinji was his inability to deal with ... well, as he put it, "stupid people." Of course his position in the customer service center of a supermarket was probably not the best job choice for him, but Kensuke had worked there for almost two years and loved his job. However, every so often someone would irk Shinji so badly that he would begin to lose control of his professionalism. Naturally, the source of such feelings would react to Shinji's evident anger until he either caved in to their improbable demands or simply walked away.

Tonight he had been forced to walk away. Unable to see or think straight because of frustration and adrenaline, he called for help and walked into the store's adjoining cash office. Out of the public view, Shinji was able to calm down as another associate handled the mess he'd left for them. It had been a particularly stressful night for him. The store was understaffed and busy. He was the highest ranked associate for most of his shift, leaving him to keep both customers and cash flowing smoothly. It had happened before and would happen again. There were just some days which seemed harder than others, no matter how well he performed his function.

After sitting for nearly half an hour with no particularly important thoughts running through his head, besides the residuals of a headache combined with aspirin, Ikari decided it would be best to put the day behind him. He eventually prepared his bento for the next day's lunch, eating the leftovers in a poor emulation of dinner. Shostakovich played through his apartment's stereo. Shinji had been playing the cello again in his free time, trying to learn more than the one piece his teacher from so many years ago had pounded into his head. Thus far he had experienced little success, mainly due to his lack of free time. When the summer came... well,...

Shinji had mixed feelings about the fast-approaching summer. After taking his entrance exams, it would be the final summer vacation of his life. He wanted to pursue a degree, of course, and attend a prestigious university. The money for such an endeavor would surely be provided for him by the Japanese government. After all, he was Ikari Shinji. There was the slight problem of choosing a major. Shinji had no idea what he could possibly enjoy doing for the rest of his life. He couldn't even think of something he could do easily, if not for enjoyment but for convenience.

In his mind, asking the government to put him through university while declaring his major as 'undecided'... It was too embarrassing. That is, if he did well on the entrance exams. Everything was up in the air, but at the same time his life was very monotonous. Monday through Saturday he would wake and eat breakfast, attend school, work until eleven, then try to sleep. Sunday was his single day of respite, though it didn't really seem to help much on a Wednesday night. Maybe the mixture of chaos and calmness was what he desired and hated the most.

Brushing his teeth, he couldn't help but stare at himself in the mirror. He hadn't changed much, in his own mind. Sure... He was a couple inches taller, his shoulders broader, his face a bit more masculine... but all he saw were those scared blue eyes. The look which had haunted him since a certain day four years ago still bothered him a great deal. As much as he tried to concentrate on his present life and forget those horrible things he'd experienced in the past, his eyes were always the same. Always frightened, always waiting for the phone call that would come, inevitably, from his father.

"No... That man is dead," Shinji whispered. "He isn't here anymore."

Ikari changed into his pajamas and put an end to his day. Laying in bed, staring at the familiar ceiling of the place he had called 'home' for three years, he felt comforted by the silence which surrounded him. Besides the music which still quietly played in his living room and the occasional car driving by, his breathing was the only sound. He felt himself begin to drift off to a welcomed sleep.

---

Thunderstorms had suddenly shown up on the radar screens over the Hakone region. The violent shaking and deep bass caused by the phenomenon known as 'thunder and lightning' were little consolation to the other people attempting to enjoy Tokyo-3's vibrant downtown night life. However, a young woman with vibrant golden red hair was more troubled than most. She would be embarrassed if anyone paid her enough attention to see beyond the curves in a yellow sundress, beyond the perfect skin tone and exotic hair, to the sadness and loneliness in her azure eyes.

This was perfectly fine with her, of course. Any such accusation would be met with a furious denial, a denial which truly was a mere programmed response to a deeper, repressed problem. Asuka knew too much for her own good. She realized that she could not let go of the events which happened in 2015.

But now here it was, the late spring of 2019. In her recent travels Asuka had been lucky enough to see a cherry blossom tree in bloom. Of course it was in an ecologically-controlled greenhouse, basically a tourist attraction. It was a staple of traditional Japanese heritage; she wasn't very interested in it. She often wondered why she hadn't simply moved back to Germany. Her father was there, and it was where she had been raised...

Soryu Asuka Langley now found herself virtually penniless and homeless. She had managed to hitch a ride from New Yokosuka to Tokyo-3 more than a week ago. Although she failed to admit it to herself, this city felt like home to her. It had been renovated after the Angels stopped attacking. No longer a mere fortress to protect NERV headquarters, the once-modern safety precautions which moved shelter-buildings underground had been painstakingly removed. Tokyo-3's population swelled along with its size, and it soon became the nation's capital.

She had plenty of time to go around and see the sights, but of course most things cost money. That was economics. After being convicted of simple battery against her roommate, she had been quickly evicted from her apartment. Her last yen were paid towards fines from that crime, along with a number of other incidents which had happened during her tenure in the city.

After a while the rain became too much of a nuisance, and she ducked off the sidewalk into an arcade. She was confronted with a choice as she found a 50-yen coin on the ground. She could approach the payphone in the room's far corner or play a UFO-catcher game. Although she knew it was foolish, it actually took her a moment before realizing that the intelligent thing to do would be to contact someone via phone. Maybe it was time to stop playing games.

"Lucky," she whispered sarcastically when she found a dual-language digital phonebook screen next to the phone. Only one name came to mind, but it was something she had hoped to never do. She dialed the number quickly, before any worries or anxiety could start to bother her. She was a little amused as she realized that he hadn't changed his cell number in the past four years.

---

"Shinji, it's time."

"No, I can't do that anymore! There's no point in asking because I won't do it!"

"You cannot argue with me. You will do as I say. There is no choice."

"Is that really how things are? Do you think I'll just do as you say!"

"Yes."

Shinji sat up quickly, a cold sweat coating his body. Another damn dream... His father still haunted him, after all this time. He took a deep breath and looked at the digital clock on the floor next to his futon. He had only been asleep for an hour. Not often did he fall asleep so easily, but twice in one night was unheard of.

A crack of thunder caused him even more dismay. He had always experienced trouble sleeping during thunderstorms. He got up, used the bathroom, and drank a small cup of water. For some reason he always felt thirsty at night. Shinji also changed the SDAT in his stereo to Chopin before returning to his room.

Either by chance or luck, he realized his cell phone was vibrating on the floor next to his bed. Who would be calling at this time of night? He checked the number on his outdated cell's screen; it was a local but unfamiliar number. "Hello?" he asked sheepishly. He froze immediately at the answer, his widening eyes the only immediate response he could muster.

"So, it's probably quite sudden for me to contact you after all this time," Asuka said gingerly, chuckling a little to mask the shakiness in her voice. She looked around the arcade to make sure no one was paying attention to her actions. "Yeah, I know. So, not saying that you owe me or anything, but I have just a small favor to ask."

Her clenched fist loosened slowly as the response came. "OK, you know how to get here? I'll be expecting you." Asuka set the green phone back on the receiver gently, sighing raggedly. How low had she fallen, asking for help from him? Of all people, why was his name the only one that came to her mind? Why did she remember his cell number so clearly?

The payphone suddenly released a 50-yen piece because of an undiagnosed mechanical error in the coin acceptor. "Lucky," she said again with just a hint of happiness. She gazed over at the UFO-catcher machines again. Upon finding one which housed small, plush penguins, an idea dawned in her muddled head.

---

"Just why am I going out in a heavy downpour at one A.M. on a Wednesday night, or Thursday morning, to an arcade?" Shinji wondered aloud as he pulled on his shoes. As luck would have it, he happened to own two umbrellas. He took a deep breath before venturing outside the safety of his apartment.

To face her once more, after four years, was something Shinji was decidedly undecided on. One of his oldest friends, if she would allow him to label her as such, was in need of assistance. She would never come out and say so, of course. That just wouldn't be Asuka.

"Asuka." He smiled as he spoke her name for the first time since those days. "I'm on my way."

End; Introjection.