Light in the dark
Disclaimer:- Don't own them just borrowing!
Episode:- Dark Matter
Pairing:- Jean/James
Rating:- M
Achieve:- http(:/) . /group/rebeccafrontlewisffarchive/
Summary:- She has become his ever present pilot light meaning that no situation is ever too dark, that he knows is worth clinging to and he has no intention of ever letting go.
Author's Note:- I love the little end scene of Dark Matter when Laura and Jean watch James and Robbie walk away and it's so obvious that Jean's really worried about James so I have been thinking about doing something with it for ages. This is what happened when I did! It is probably more of a "ficlet" than a fic since the story itself is exactly 800 words long but I think it turned out ok. Enjoy and reviews would be lovely.
"You didn't have to come." Opening the door he tries to hide his relief, the surge of gratitude that he knows she already senses.
"Of course I did, I wanted to follow you, but you didn't need me right then you needed to talk it out with Robbie."
"I always need you I didn't expect you to come though it's late you should be…"
"I should be here."
"How will you….."
"Let me worry about that I need to know you're ok and when you tell me you are I need to find out for myself." A gentle hand on his chest, deep hazel eyes searching his, the briefest of kisses and instantly all conversation again becomes irrelevant.
Fingers lace, small steps now so familiar are taken again and the darkness shed by the events of the night finally seems to lift. He knows for all her protests there'll be a price to pay for this unscheduled dalliance, for taking a step away from the carefully choreographed nature of their relationship and yet one touch from her and he ceases to care just as she knew he would.
Whispered words of pleasure and encouragement become the only soundtrack in the room as desire becomes their puppeteer once more. It governs their every reaction, their every touch, their every kiss until hot flesh meets cool cotton and the never ending dance of love that cannot show itself outside the confines of the four walls surrounding them begins once more.
The quite sounds she makes as he takes time to enjoy every part of her, to make this time even more worth the risks they take, the bigger risk she's taken that night, worth it spur him on. He needs to lose himself in her now more than he ever has a fact she knew in spite of his attempts to hide it from her. She always knows just as he knows when the roles are reversed. They have spent months, years even, tuning in to every tiny change in the others mood and learned well when to stepping in will help and when it will only heighten the agony of any given situation by highlighting the fact they can never be this to each other in real life.
The simple act of making love to her is the one thing that can truly balance the scales in his mind between good and evil. It's the thing that in moments when what they live day in and day out weighs so heavily on the side of damnation for the human race can remind him there are things worth delaying that damnation for. The feel of her skin on his, the smell of her perfume, the way she tastes as he kisses her desperate to make the moment last as long as possible all add another grain of sand to the counter argument for beauty, brilliance, love and light in the darkest of situations.
When she grants his that final wonder, when she lets go to the way he makes her feel and he watches every ounce of the pleasure he's given her dance across her face that's the second that he knows as long as she is in the world it will forever be a world worth saving, a world worth living in. When he is lost in his own pleasure and she clings to him telling him how much she loves him he knows they the words he knows he will hear even in his darkest hour.
"Thank you, for knowing I needed you I mean." He knows it doesn't need saying, he knows she knows just as he does when he's the one who goes in search of her but it feels right to say it now. "Do you have to leave right away?"
"No, sleep I'll be here when you wake up." He doesn't ask how, what bargain she's made with herself to allow them a whole night together, right at that second he knows she'd not tell him even if he asked. Some things can never be spoken, not even in the confines of a place that's completely theirs and he's learned to respect that to accept that things have to be as they are. He's realised since this started, if he hadn't before, that for her he is willing to accept anything, for moments like this he would gladly give up all knowledge and control of what makes their relationship work. How could he not when by just turning up she can turn the darkest, most claustrophobic nightmare into a flood of light and joy. She has become his ever present pilot light meaning that no situation is ever too dark, that he knows is worth clinging to and he has no intention of ever letting go.
