A/N: Hey all! Really sorry to those who were hoping for me to continue Hurting, but I'm having a bit of problems, so it will be on hold. This image of Ryan as an emoboy (You know the deal, floppy fringe, spikeyish back, eyeliner…) popped into my head and I decided to write a fic on it. If you do not like imagining Ryan looking different then what he usually does, then don't read. Hope you all enjoy! Reviews will make me continue both my fics!
10 years ago
"It's too bad we won't be seeing you next year geek."
"Yeah. But it's okay. Don't be too upset, we'll find some other kid to pick on!"
Ryan tried his best to remain calm as he strode as fast as he could out of his college campus. He hated it. So what if he was smart? The fat part he understood, but why condemn someone who's smart? There was no doubt he was glad to be leaving for another college. That way he could go on and live his life in peace, regardless of his IQ or appearance. He was just about to clear the final threshold. The foyer. But of course, he just had to bump into the one person he hated the most. Plus he was surrounded by his usual following of air headed bimbos.
"Oh my god! Ladies! You all had better run for cover! It's the fat, fugly Wolfe!" Eric Delko mock whispered loud enough for Ryan to hear. Ryan forced himself to walk calmly all the way out the gates, trying as hard as he could to ignore the shrieks of laughter of the girls. And the deep, amazing laughter from Eric Delko that never failed to give him butterflies.
Ryan sighed heavily. Why in all hells did he have to like Eric? Eric was older than him and way out of Ryan's league and he knew it. He also knew that with the way he looked, Eric would never feel the same. After all, Eric Delko was probably the hottest guy in school. And well, hot guys don't usually go with fat geeks. How much he would have wanted to be in Eric's circle of friends, to be able to laugh with him, eat with him, talk with him and even kiss him. It was a known fact that Eric was really bi, as were most of his friends.
He'd had enough of being laughed at and teased. He was going to change everything about himself. 'Someday, Eric Delko is going to look at me and beg to be with me.' Ryan promised himself.
Present day
Eric sulked. Horatio was hiring someone to take Speed's place. Sure. They'd had enough time to get over Speed's death. It had been over a year and he had pretty much gotten over it. But he still felt like he wasn't ready to meet the new guy. All Horatio had told them was that the new CSI was young. 'Probably some young punk who thinks he can fill the place of a highly experienced, top notch CSI.' Eric mused, as he made his way down to the conference room, where the team had agreed to meet the newbie.
As he neared the room, he caught sight of Calleigh's blonde, Horatio's red, Alexx's black and Tripp's…bald, or near bald.
"Hey…" Eric greeted, forcing himself to smile at his colleagues and boss. His greeting was returned and Calleigh motioned for him to sit at an empty spot beside her.
"Wow. I'm pretty excited to meet him. He should be here soon.." Eric didn't even have the chance to reply. Through the clear glass walls, he saw the receptionist- Claire? Clara?- leading a brunet to the door. All attention was turned to the young man coming in. He most certainly wasn't-actually was, since Eric thought him to be a punk- what everyone was expecting.
His warm brown hair was youthfully styled. His fringe was pulled to the left and reached to his jaw, but was layered so that it stayed out of his eyes. The back on the other hand was spiked back. His greenish hazel eyes were lined ever so finely- Eric was an expert at noticing it- with black. He wore black skinny jeans and a plain, fitting black shirt, both of which fit snugly to his slim body. And he finished it off with black sneakers.
To sum up, he made Eric's heart pump just that little bit faster.
"Hi. I'm Ryan. Ryan Wolfe."
There was silence for a while. Everyone was still taking in the sight of the man qualified to be a CSI. Horatio just smiled.
"Welcome to the team Mr. Wolfe." Horatio returned the greeting. "Horatio Caine and this is the team. This is Detective Frank Tripp, ME Alexx Woods, CSI Calleigh Duquesne and CSI Eric Delko." Horatio smirked, introducing the still stunned team.
Ryan smiled a sweet, shy smile that had- undoubtedly- all their hearts melting. "Nice to meet all of you…And uh, I hope I'll be able to do my job well with all your guidance."
Calleigh was the first to finally respond. "Pleasure to meet you too Ryan. I'm sure you'll do fine. If you need anything, we're always here." She smiled warmly, as she shook Ryan's hand.
Alexx returned a similar greeting, as did Frank, though the latter seemed to still be in shock.
Calleigh and Alexx both turned to look at Eric expectantly. There was something about that name and that voice that seemed so familiar, but he just couldn't put his finger on it. Giving up for the moment, Eric stretched out his hand and shook the long fingered hand offered to him.
"Eric Delko, I must admit I'm pretty surprised. Not quite what I expected."
"What were you expecting, honestly?" Those exotic eyes were fixed right on his and Eric couldn't believe that he, Casanova Eric, was struggling to put a sentence together. Those soft hands and delicate yet firm grip was also a distraction.
"Well, I was expecting some geeky kid, wearing glasses, maybe a bit overweight…" he was unconsciously taking his idea of a geek from somewhere in his mind, but he didn't really think much into exactly where.
"Would you have preferred that?" That youthful voice spoke of allure and triggered all remaining alarm bells in Eric's already screaming brain.
"Oh hell no. I like this."
"Well then, aren't you glad I decided to change."
Before Eric knew it, that warm grip was gone, and he was no longer under the spell of those hypnotizing eyes. But Eric couldn't help but ponder over what Ryan had meant. Sure, it could mean nothing, but somehow he knew it had something to do with him. But as most of his other thoughts on Ryan, they seemed to elude him.
Too caught up in his thoughts, Eric only snapped back to reality when Alexx snapped her fingers in front of his face. "Back to work. Calleigh's already volunteered to show Ryan around so I suppose you have to cover her side of analysis."
Eric groaned. This certainly wasn't a very good beginning to a day.
emoboyryanemoboyryanemoboyryan
Eric was close to tearing his hair out. They were going nowhere with the case. All the evidence they found led to one person who, during the time of the murder, had a solid alibi. So either the evidence was planted-which they found no proof of- or their prime suspect had the ability of mind control. Apparently a whole room of people had seen him at the party he said he was at. But that wasn't the only thing bothering Eric. He still couldn't put his finger as to why the new CSI seemed so familiar to him. At a party? No, he hadn't been with a male since he got out of college. College… No. He had 2 boyfriends during that time, both he remembered quite distinctly. So where had he seen the boy-yes, Eric thought he was much too young still- before? The results of his trace were nowhere near done so he decided to go get a coffee from the break room. It had been a long day of analysis for him and his back and eyes ached.
He felt his heart jolt as he caught sight of a pair of green-brown eyes watching him intently from inside the break room as he walked, all the way to the door. Their eyes never left each other and as Eric stepped through the door, he wondered why Ryan was sitting in the room alone when a bright chirp yanked his gaze from the brunet to a blonde.
"Hey Eric! I was just getting Ryan and myself a coffee. Wanna join us?" Calleigh asked, smiling sweetly as she handed a mug over to Ryan who smiled and said a soft thank you.
Eric felt his heart ache in a good way. Ryan sounded and looked incredibly innocent suddenly, holding the mug in both hands and blowing on it. It was a stark contrast to the man who had shook Eric's hand that morning. It made Eric fantasize. To have someone so hot, beautiful and intelligent who was also incredibly child-like and needed his protection and guidance. He jerked when Calleigh called his name.
"Sorry…Guess I'm really tired. Really long day, hard case." He tried to shift Calleigh's attention away from his short attention lapse. And thankfully it worked. She apologized and promised to help now that she was done showing Ryan the place and how they worked. This in turn brought Eric's thoughts back to Ryan-which wasn't a very good thing mind you. Eric went to get his coffee after making Calleigh promise to help. He couldn't help but listen in to their conversation as he poured himself his coffee.
"So, Ryan. No offense, but why the look? Not that it looks bad either." Calleigh giggled.
"It's just who I am you know. It's not like I'm breaking any rules, am I?" Ryan asked, feigning horror.
Calleigh laughed. "No you're not. It's refreshing. I was expecting you to be a real geek when Horatio told us you're the youngest CSI ever."
"I am? Wow.." Ryan said in a soft, somewhat shy tone which made Eric want to cuddle him.
"Were you always like this? I mean, emo just came 'in fashion' recently and I was just wandering if you were always like this." Eric was just about to pick up his mug and leave when Calleigh asked.
He was even more compelled to stay when Ryan hesitated before answering and he could almost feel the green-brown gaze on his back-he was pretending to look for something to nibble on.
"I. Before this I was a geek. As you'd predicted. I wasn't exactly this size either." He confessed with an embarrassed tone. Eric frowned. Ryan Wolfe used to be fat and a geek. And in that instant a taunt that he used when he was younger came rushing back into his mind. "Fat, fugly Wolfe."
Eric turned sharply to look at the boy who was still talking to Calleigh. Everything came rushing back. He couldn't believe that this Ryan Wolfe was the same as the one he used to know in high school. The one who he used to pick on with his gang. The same Ryan Wolfe, who was almost three times the size of the slight man in front of him, had bad hair and was a geek to boot. He must have been staring for sometime, because when he snapped back to Earth, both CSIs were staring at him. His eyes found Ryan's and for those few seconds, deep brown met intense hazel green. And Eric knew that Ryan knew that he remembered now. And god did Eric feel horrible for what he did.
Calleigh stood silently and left the room. They needed to settle something private and she knew it.
The sound of the door slamming shut jerked Eric from the staring battle they were having. He turned away and ran his hands over his face, sighing heavily. His thoughts were still racing. Why oh why did Ryan Wolfe get the job? Why did all this happen to him? Why couldn't it have happened to some of the other jerks who were also pushing Ryan around all those years ago? Why oh why did Ryan have to change so much? Why oh why was Ryan Wolfe so fucking different? Had he been the cause of Ryan's change? As he thought, something Marisol told him a long time ago when he was younger rang in his ears, "Always be careful what you do. Because karma is a bitch and it'll always come back to bite you in the ass." And as usual she was right. He had been horrible to Ryan and now he was getting his retribution.
Eric turned to look at the younger man and sighed again. Said man was leaning back in the chair, hunched slightly, eyes downcast and distant. Eric had no doubt that he was thinking back.
"Hey, Wolfe, look." Ryan turned to fixed him with an intense, unblinking gaze and Eric felt his words catch in his throat momentarily. "I… I'm really sorry. For what I did to you. How I treated you. I'm sorry. I really am."
The gaze didn't shift. He just blinked a few times before turning back to look down at his lap.
"Sure Delko. Sure."
"Look. I mean it. I'm sorry. I was an arse back then. But everyone was! I mean, you had to expect it! With the way you looked and acted!" Eric felt his anger rising. Here was trying his best to apologize nicely, there the kid was being sarcastic. A small voice in him told him to calm down and not say anymore, but he couldn't stop the anger. "Get over it Wolfe! I apologized! It's over, you've changed, I've changed. Just forget it happened. You're not the same person you used to be, and I'm happy for you!"
In that last sentence, a lot happened. The chair Ryan had been sitting on was lying on the floor. Ryan was standing right in front of Eric, so close their chests were almost touching. Eric stopped breathing as his eyes met Ryan's. Ryan may have been slightly shorter, but with all the emotions rolling off him, Eric felt overwhelmed. Had he said something wrong? Ryan's fringe had fallen out of place in his sudden flurry of movement and obscured his left eye slightly. Those soulful eyes shone with unshed tears of anger, hate and most of all-which surprised Eric- heartbreak. His breaths came in angry but somewhat controlled bursts.
"You don't know the first thing of what I went through. You have no idea how I felt. And how dare you judge me? You have no fucking idea what I was like before. So don't you dare tell me that I've changed. You haven't changed Delko. Not one bit. I can't believe I thought different."
And with that, Ryan was gone.
Eric was left in a daze. Inside he knew Ryan was right. He had no idea what Ryan was like before. But how dare Ryan say he hadn't changed? He had matured. Right? He works hard on his job. He socializes with everyone, not just his friends and pretty women. Right?
He wasn't sure how long he stood there, but after what felt like an eternity of thinking, he felt a hand on his arm. He turned and Calleigh was looking at him with a look of hesitant curiosity.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked. Eric shook his head.
"Thanks, but, I need to do this myself. With him. Just two of us."
