A/N: So I went a bit absent again and I am sorry, but sometimes I just can't help it. Of course I was away at a festival over Xmas/New Years and very accurately predicted that I would be needing a week to get over that. The problem is I didn't get it. Things started 'happening' VERY soon after I got back and I have been physically and mentally run off my feet ever since. All the things happening are good, don't get me wrong, they are just very draining to someone who was already pre-drained. ;-) But I am now starting to feel a bit more human again.
A/N 2: I have actually tried to sit down and write several times in the last week but unfortunately 'distracted' would be a light word for my current state with everything that has been happening. I still have hope that things in my world will settle down before too long, allowing my mind to return to a state more conducive to concentration and creativity. But until that happens I dug this up to tide you guys over. I wrote this quite a while ago and hadn't actually realized until re-reading that it was fairly well ready to post. It is quite different for me, the result of writing with a glass of red beside me instead of my usual coffee. Feel free to comment of whether you think I just drink more or less. ;-) But be kind, there's nothing wrong with trying something different, right?
Warnings: Sensual situations. ;-)
LSLSLS
Rachel couldn't believe how good this felt…it had been so long…so very long. And she wasn't even talking about sex. Yes, that had been a long time also, but she had not missed it as much as this. Touch. Human contact. Someone touching her…a man…a very handsome and beautiful man…touching her because he wanted to…for the sake of the pleasure in the act itself.
It wasn't an accidental brushing by someone. It wasn't an obligatory handshake in a professional setting. It wasn't even a tight reserved hug, something that had inexplicably raised in popularity as an acceptable greeting for even friendly acquaintances. All of which barely counted as true human contact in her mind, because of the complete lack of true feeling and desire behind any of it.
But this was different in every way. The reasons for the contact were different…they were desire. The feelings caused by the contact were different…they were pleasure. The emotions behind the contact were different too…they were love…at least on her side.
As the man behind her continued to slowly and gently run his fingers through the loose tendrils of her hair, she lost control of her reserve and a loud highly sensual moan escaped her lips as her eyes drifted shut and her mouth opened in an "O" of pleasure.
Tom had been enjoying their quiet moment, their brief interlude to enjoy on the pretense of close friendship, a platonic love…but the, highly below the belt stirring, noise the woman before him had just had just made, made him think that pretense wasn't going to be able to last much longer…for either of them. But he didn't stop. No way was he going to stop.
They had been sitting here, side by side, in his office, at this late hour, working. Taking a small mental health moment to focus on something or anything other than the dire situation of the entire outside world. A sick world that it was their job to try and fix, he had taken a moment then to really look at her. And in doing so, took a belatedly timed moment to consider her welfare and her mental wellbeing, in this prolonged engagement with their mutual invisible enemy.
When he had really studied her, he had easily seen how very drawn, tense and bone tired she had looked. Guilt had overwhelmed him. He was working her too hard, and not just today, but for months now. It was unfortunately easy to do. She worked herself so very hard, always forging on and on, even when getting nothing back from no one in return. He thought he had somehow silently obtained the idea that she was some kind of superhuman who didn't need regular human things like sleep or emotional support. That had been in error.
He had watched her roll her shoulders and wince at the pained weariness that was clearly in them. He had decided right then to call it a night, but he had still not wanted her to leave his presence. Frankly, he thought that was partially the reason this night and so many others had continued to drag on into the early hours so often. As hard as the work and planning they were doing was, her presence was sustenance to him. One thing acted to, at least partially, counteract the other.
He had had a thought then…a desire actually…and before he could even consider it properly, something that would certainly had dissuaded him from actually acting; the words had been out of his mouth.
He had offered her a shoulder massage.
It was very late and they were both very tired. He suspected the weariness in both of them was having a inebriating like effect on them. For that reason he had very much suspected that her inner monologue wasn't working very well either. After he made his sudden offer, before the usually reserved and long considering woman could have possibly had time to actually consider his words, she had freely pronounced hers.
"Oh god, yes." Had been her response, but immediately she had looked embarrassed by her unreserved and passionate answer. However, as far as he had been concerned, he had been given permission, so he had acted fast before she could move to modestly withdraw it… Words, probably to that effect, looking like they were sitting on the cusp of her shocked lips as he maneuvered her into position to sit on the floor between his legs.
He had already had his hands kneading at the extremely tight trapezius muscles of her shoulder and upper back when she had finally gotten her vocal function to return.
"Tom…you don't have too…I spoke hastily…" She argued lamely, all the while becoming increasingly distracted by his wonderfully warm and talented hands spreading themselves over her shoulders.
Tom leant down until his mouth was just beside her ear, and whispered to her… "You spoke honestly, as did I, I like it…now relax." And then he continued in his self-assigned task without missing a single beat.
That took them back to now. He had indeed continued in his set task of working the knots out of her shoulders for sometime, and she had indeed relaxed into his touch, at least some. It was when his finger had traversed the skin of her upper neck, just below her hairline, that he had sensed the change in her…a positive one. Her breathing got heavier. She made small slight moves; pushing her neck into his hands…she probably wasn't even aware she was doing it. Regardless, he took the involuntary hint and let his fingers travel higher…into the long unrestrained tresses of her silken locks.
It was clear he had read the signs well. Her breathing increasing again, it was now quite loud in the otherwise quiet room. As he took stock, he realized that the sound of his own increased inhalations and exhalations were now dancing with hers in the otherwise silent space.
He slowly and sensually let his fingers roam and enjoy the entire expanse of the soft curves, usually buried and hidden under her long dark tresses. Enjoying this unexpected free access, he tried numerous things, testing out what she liked best. That was how he made the discovery, that it was having her hair gently played with, right at the roots, that was giving her the most pleasure. She clearly also liked it when he moved his finger over her skull in a more traditional head massage, but it was when he gently trailed his finger all over her skull, especially the area that extended from her spine, that he garnered the most enthusiastic response from her.
Rachel was in heaven and his fingers were pure bliss. Below the feeling of utter pleasure and ecstasy that was erotically traversing her whole body was the slow and muted realization that this had stopped being a friendly massage to sooth sore muscles at some point. Some point quite a while ago actually… Not that she was actually complaining, hardly, she could barely focus on anything except the exquisite pleasure his talented and knowing fingers were sending to every nerve ending in her body.
She was just vaguely aware of their current circumstance and mutual actions holding…implications. She just couldn't quite put her finger on what they were or why on earth they would matter right now. What could possibly be more important than this long overdue stolen moment for self and soul?
When his talented fingers once again traced an especially sensitive spot at the base of her skull, and then upwards…she let out a soft mewling moan at the exquisite contact and resulting sparks in set in motion coursing through her blood.
Her head drifted backward of his own accord, her head practically resting in his lap, cradled slightly by his hands and slightly by his legs. Her eyes had long since drifted shut and her mouth had parted in a breathy sign that had come on the heels on her last intoxicating mewl.
In this new position Tom could not massage her back, shoulders or neck so well…even if that had long since become only a pretense. He shifted his attention to running is fingers lightly through the strands at her temples, and in doing so discovered yet another pleasurable zone for him to touch and caress and be rewarded with those wonderful sounds she made. The changed position of her head, that he was sure was inadvertent on her part, was actually highly advantageous for him. He could see her, not just hear and touch her...as amazing as both of those things were.
He again let his fingers caress that sweet point on her temples, and then continue down lower and up again in a smooth oval pattern. Despite his own pleasure at the proceedings, despite the ease he himself could get lost in these moments, he took care to use just the right degree of alternating pressure on her. At some points he was massaging her, at others he was simply letting the sensations of his finger playing with the roots of her hair do their work. Again, he was rewarded with her soft sighs and moans at his ministrations. He let the pressure of the balls of his fingers increase for a moment, let his whole hands delve into the smooth velvet of her unrestrained tresses. He then withdrew the pressure, gave all his fingers free reign to explore and discover, and discover they did.
Several new locations that acted to free her pleasure were discovered, and several sighs and long moans were both his evidence and his reward. With her face tilted up towards him as it was, her eye lashes still softly feathered against her lower lids, he could see the pleasure his small actions were bestowing on her and it in turn aroused him…a lot.
In fact, it was very fortunate her head had not fallen any further back towards the juncture of his thighs when she had dropped it there in ecstasy. That's not to say he was embarrassed by his body's reaction. Under the highly sensually charged circumstances that events had headlong descended into, it would have been more embarrassing if he had remained unaffected. Still, they were lost in their own little world right now, more so her than him, and he didn't want to bring her out of it just yet…preferably never… And he feared that the evidence of his desire for her could shock her back into reality and have her call an unfortunately premature end to the delicious human contact they were both enjoying after such a long and forced absence.
Besides it was innocent, right? Despite the fact that what they were engaging in, and both thoroughly enjoying, worked as a surprisingly realistic tactile facsimile for sex, that could still be innocent…right?
Rachel again let out a low but fervent moan as the amazing fingers that were trailing hypnotic patterns in her hair, once again seemingly quite deliberately, trailed over and lingered on particularly pleasure invoking spots.
The physical sensations coursing though her simply belied explanation, but they were not limited to the points of contact between fingers and skin. No, each and every actual point of physical contact seemed to send shooting sparks of white-hot pleasure shooting out in a thousand different directions before splitting again and then again, encompassing her entire body in white-hot arousal.
It was when a spear of that white-hot heat hit her core with a vengeance that she was momentarily startled back to some semblance of sense. What was happening? What were they doing? Because as much as they may have danced around each other in recent months, she did not remember either of them taking any steps away from the innocent boundaries of their relationship…and yet nothing about his touch or her heated, pulsating, heavy breathing body said that they were in innocent waters now.
Still languishing in the blissful sensations and warmth of their virtual embrace, Rachel took a moment to more fully come back to herself, to once again feel like it was her inhabiting her own body and not some sensual nymph who livid in a sea of pleasure and passion.
With effort she withdrew her mind from its eminently more pleasant surrounds of warmth, comfort and love. She tried to focus on anything but his hands and the pleasure they were causing…they were far too delicious and distracting to contemplate focusing on them as well as thinking.
With yet more effort her eyes blinked open…and her already parted lips opened further in a gasp of shocked awe. From her position with her head tilted back, a position he supported her in and that she could not remember getting into, she gazed up at the look of longing on his face…as he looked at her.
His fingers had stilled when her lids had drawn open, but they had not withdrawn from their position resting in her tresses, nor had she moved from hers.
The moments that came after their new mutual conscious awareness of each other, and the new and confronting circumstance they found themselves immersed in, drifted by slowly. Each just started at the other, their gazes seeming not to separate long enough to even blink.
After a long moment, still held steady, cradled by his hands and lap, Rachel was the one to speak first…a single words uttered in such a way as to infuse it with the essence of everything she was feeling and yet still not able and still too scared to put more specific words to.
"Tom..."
The single word, his name, came out on such an emotive sigh that he could have sworn than a tear nearly followed it. Such was the openness, longing and yearning he could read on the features staring up at him now.
It was no struggle to return the gesture in kind. He was wearing all his feelings for this woman on his sleeve right now. After being allowed to finally touch the object of their ardent affection, they had all escaped unbidden to adore her as closely as they were able.
Moment passed, with him just staring at the woman before him in wonder. She never broke eye contact with him, as confronting as it was on one level, it was also deeply comforting on another. Those beautiful eyes spoke to him, encouraged him… It was with his whole heart that he spoke, when he finally did. Again, only a single word, but contained within it was the immense magnitude of emotions that he was finally feely admitting existed between them.
"Rachel…"
Yes, they may have taken a few too many steps forward too quickly. But they had taken them and reading eyes others eyes, they could see they were both pleased by that. They would not go backwards now, neither of them. Steps had been taken and forward was the only way to proceed. The only way they both wanted to proceed. If they were both honest with themselves, this had been coming for a very long time. They both wanted this but more than that they both wanted to do this right, but mostly they just wanted to do it. To move forward, so many hurdles had been put in their path. So much pain had been their everyday for so long. But they had a chance at happiness with each other, and they both knew now was the time to take it.
THE END
A/N: Good? Bad? I know it's different for me, so I'm particularly interested to see what people think. Like I said, I am trying to get my act back together to continue on with my WIP's but until then I might be able to dig up a few old one shots like this that might not need to much work to become post ready. :-)
