Title: Farewell to Myself
Genre: Romance/Friendship
Rating: T for mild adult themes and violence
Full Summary: The Keyblade is the key to unlocking Kingdom Hearts. The lock that stands in Organization XIII's way is Cerise, a girl whose origins can be traced back to Kingdom Hearts. She is a girl who has lived many lives. That girl became a Nobody. As Organization XIII moves to complete Kingdom Hearts, Cerise must come to terms with her fate as she learns what love and friendship are during her limited days with the organization.
Prologue
The sound of ocean waves crashing against the shore filled Cerise's ears as she slept. A distant voice could be heard, but she disregarded it and listened to the waves. She was immersed in sand. She could feel the sun-heated grains under her fingernails as ocean water licked her feet. It tickled. The waves grew stronger, reaching up to her neck before engulfing her whole. Solid land dissolved in an instant and she was now falling freely into water. As her eyes began to open, she saw a blurred image of a person. All she could make out were a pair of blue eyes before she awoke from her reverie and found herself lying in bed.
The voice she ignored earlier belonged to a Dusk that had poured a bucket of water all over her in attempt to wake her. It whispered into her ear, telling her to report to the Grey Area. She changed into a dry set of clothes, which consisted of two sheets of black fabric tied together at the shoulders and at the sides to form a loose, short dress. After tidying her long turquoise into two pigtails, she headed out.
Upon arriving at the Grey Area, she saw a bunch of familiar faces—Demyx, Luxord, Xigbar, Saix—and then a face she hadn't seen till today. There was a young man with pale pink hair among their number. Xigbar did inform her yesterday of a Nobody he found. This must've been him.
"You're finally up," Xigbar said, noticing her from the couch.
All members looked up.
As of late, it was uncommon for Cerise to make an appearance in public, at least in the Grey Area where members convened to receive their missions. Cerise did not go on missions. Her combat skills were deemed too petty to be useful, but she had exceptional healing powers. Even then, she wasn't allowed out unless supervised by a senior member. This included Xaldin or Xigbar. Since these two were usually sent on important solo missions, Cerise couldn't tag along—not that she wanted to, considering the type of company they provided. Xaldin was a man of few words, but he kept a strict eye on her, never letting her out of his sight and never extending her leash too far. Xigbar talked too much, said too much, and it "hurt" Cerise to be around him. And so, she spent most of her days inside the headquarters. Members had to rely on potions or spells during their missions. Any healing on Cerise's part would be done after.
Cerise hesitantly approached the small seating area.
"Got enough beauty sleep?" Xigbar cackled, reaching out to touch her arm.
She stepped back, avoiding his hand by a hair's breadth, and turned to Demyx who was seated in an armchair. "Hey! It's been a while," he said. "Looking pretty lively. What brings you here this morning?"
"A Dusk instructed me to come," Cerise answered.
"Looks like you should report to Saix," said Demyx. "He's actually in a decent mood."
Cerise took his words with a grain of salt and went to speak with Saix at the front of the room.
"May I ask why I was called here," she said.
Saix did not spare her a look before going to speak with Xaldin. She could hear a faint snicker in the background. It was only after Number III departed for his mission that Saix paid her any attention. She did not mind this behavior. She had gotten used to it. It's not like she had anything else to do anyway. Since the day she arrived to The World That Never Was, there was never a day where she was not sitting somewhere, whether in a chair or a windowsill, staring and waiting for something. Anything. She was always waiting.
"You were called here to meet Number XI," Saix said. "Go introduce yourself."
Cerise scanned the room again. Number XI was currently having a conversation with Luxord.
"You know the drill. Don't engage him too much," Saix said, eyes trained to his clipboard.
Cerise sometimes wondered what use there was in meeting members when she wasn't allowed to socialize with them as often as she might like. She was allowed small talk, but was not allowed to go around the castle with any of the junior members. It was always such a shame to turn down card games with Luxord. Cerise was once fond of card games.
She walked up to the pink-haired man.
"What a rare sight you are today, Cerise. How about a round of poker?" said Luxord. "I'll let you choose the game."
"I must turn down the offer." Cerise turned away from Luxord and faced Number XI. "Consider me the apothecary of the organization. Should you require healing, you may report to me after you've completed a mission."
"Such a lady." Luxord chuckled. "You forgot a few things in that introduction, love."
Number XI didn't say anything in return. He didn't seem to care.
It made no difference to Cerise. As far as introductions went, that was enough for her. She went to talk to Demyx on the opposite side of the room. To her luck, Xigbar had left. One by one, everyone in the room began to disappear, except for Demyx and Saix. Face held in her hands, Cerise watched Demyx play his sitar without a care in the world. Now that everyone was gone, it gave him more freedom to play louder.
"Can you play an instrument?" he asked.
She blinked. "You ask me that all the time."
"Well, we don't meet that often so by the time I see you again, I forget."
"No, I don't play an instrument," she replied for the sixth time. "I do enjoy listening when you play though." That was the honest truth no matter what others said. Then again, she hardly listened to music. Her judgment of what constituted as good music was limited.
Demyx grinned proudly like a child who just received his first compliment. His smile fell when Saix came over and whacked him across the head with a clipboard. Saix proceeded to explain to Demyx his mission for the day. He even wrote a note reminding Demyx of what he had to do. Reluctantly, Demyx went on his way, grumbling to himself.
Saix and Cerise were alone together.
"Vexen is waiting. Come." Saix waited for her to stand. He scowled when she didn't.
She shifted uncomfortably. Going to see Vexen meant one thing: experiments.
Saix yanked her up by her arm, but she held her ground.
"I don't want to go."
"What you want doesn't matter. Would you like to answer to Xemnas instead?"
"But you should understand more than anyone else!" Cerise exclaimed.
Saix narrowed his eyes, warning her that he would not tolerate further defiance. Cerise gave up trying to get through to him. He was as obstinate as ever. No. He just didn't care about what she had to say. As they began to make their way out of the room, they heard a dark corridor open. They looked back to see who had returned. It was still far too early for anyone to have finished a mission. Much to Saix's bemusement, a certain fiery red-head stepped out from the portal.
"Oh? What's going on here?" Axel smirked, feigning ignorance.
One who uses a dark corridor can eavesdrop on others before actually coming out. How much had Axel heard? Axel assessed the situation before him. Saix was holding Cerise's arm in a rather firm grip and the two were about to go somewhere. A light bulb went off in his head. Hissing in pain, Axel clutched his ribcage. He staggered over to the couch to support himself. Before Saix could voice an objection, Cerise went over to check on Axel.
"I got messed up pretty badly," Axel groaned. "That Heartless, man, I'm telling you. He's no small fry. Think Cerise can patch me up?"
"Very well. Cerise, as soon as you are done, meet me at the lab," Saix said.
Once Saix was gone, Axel relaxed. "Aren't you going to thank me?"
As much as Cerise would have liked to express her gratitude, he had not done much to help her. He had just postponed the inevitable and it wasn't as if Saix had bought that cheap act for one second. It was rare for Axel to help her though. His intervention came at a price. Cerise could only imagine what would be in store for her at the lab.
"Now that you're here, I might as well do something," Cerise said, her hand hovering over his abdomen to detect any weak spots. "Seems you've sustained some injury, nothing a potion wouldn't be able to cure." A warm light emitted from her palm and Axel was as good as new.
"Those powers of yours are no joke. I'm still waiting to see what you can really do," he said, throwing himself onto the couch for a nap.
"Are we done here?"
"I think my shoulders could use a massage. May have pulled a muscle."
Cerise sighed and headed for the hallway.
"Off to the lab already?"
"Saix said to come once I was done."
"You can pretend not to be done."
"Any more delays wouldn't be...appreciated."
"Is that so? Have fun then." Axel flinched when Cerise shot him a vague stare before going her way. His eyes lowered. Maybe he shouldn't have said that.
Everyone in the organization knew what experiments Cerise was used for. Axel did not grasp the entire picture, but he was aware that Cerise had close ties to Kingdom Hearts. Vexen believed she was born from the sea of all hearts. Axel didn't know what that entailed, but Cerise was special. While Cerise wasn't treated all too well, she was a valuable asset to Organization XIII, just as much as Namine. Both of them never had an X put into their name.
Cerise is afforded a little more liberty than Namine. Axel recalled multiple occasions where Cerise actively conversed with some of the members. Our top ranked member, Xigbar, hangs around her a lot...Why do I feel like those two go way back?
Back when they had hearts.
It was strange how someone believed to have been born from Kingdom Hearts lost their heart. No one had an answer to that. Scratching his head, Axel turned over on his side and took a nap.
Pushing open the steel door to the laboratory, Cerise saw Saix inside, along with Vexen and Zexion. Who she hadn't expected to see was Xigbar. She thought he had gone away on a mission. Apparently she was mistaken. He probably intentionally misled her too. This experiment could have been more bearable had Xigbar not been present. Going further into the room, she stopped next to the operating table. Large glass vials containing hearts were messily arranged everywhere, along with empty syringes. She remembered the first experiment they put her through. They had taken samples of her blood to check if her DNA contained anything that separated her from a normal human. To their disappointment, there was no difference.
"You know the standard procedures," Vexen said. "Remove your clothes."
What a crude order. She had done it many times before, but was humiliated all the same. Even a Nobody could understand how degrading it was. Most experiments called for her to be without clothing; thus, her makeshift dress which could easily be removed. Reaching for one of the knots that secured her dress, she slowly loosened it. Xigbar watched, shaking his head as he leaned against the wall. Zexion was cleaning out beakers, much to her relief. Suddenly, Saix stepped up from behind her and tugged her dress off, letting the sheets of fabric fall to her feet. That was his way of relieving his frustration and showing her that even though Axel might have tried to help her, in the end, there was no hope for her. "Just do as you're told" was the message. In the end, Axel hadn't helped her. He just added more fuel to the flame. Vexen cupped her face, forcing her mouth open as he poured a strange liquid down her throat.
Everything was a haze.
She was sent back to the sound of waves and the damp sensation of sand under her fingernails. She heard the rustling of palm trees and felt a light breeze. A sharp pain in her chest caused her to stiffen. Metal bands around her wrists and ankles constrained her, reminding her that she was not on an island, but on a surgical table. Another jolt of pain and she was back on the island, lying on the trunk of a fallen tree. Her left foot dangled off, hitting a pool of freshwater below. Suddenly, a hand emerged from the water and pulled her down into the water. Her lungs began to fill with water. Clutching her throat, she kicked around, searching for solid ground. Floating not too far from her was a young blond boy. She drifted closer to him. Her eyes struggled to stay open. With the last ounce of her strength, she extended her arm and grasped the boy's hand.
A sphere of light formed where their hands connected.
The light engulfed them and within the brightness, the boy faced her.
Blue eyes.
Ventus?
