"Tribby, its dinner, get your sister and come inside" I called my son, Tributa inside for dinner. We had named our son Tributa, tribute in Latin because that`s what both me and his father are, tributes. He was young, so he didn`t yet understand what importance his name carried. His little blond curls appeared by the door holding the hand of his younger sister. Peeta always said that Ember was a living replica of me, but I disagree. At first glance we are almost identical but if you notice, she has Peeta's eyes. I smile as Trib takes a seat at the table and I scoop up Ember in my arms. "Peeta, could you hold Ember for me while I set the table?" I ask as Peeta stands up from the sofa he had been sitting on. "Sure thing Katniss" he says sweetly as he kisses me on the forehead. We named our daughter because Peeta insisted that she looked just like me so we should name her after me, or rather my time as the girl who was on fire.
As I through dinner on the table I smile at our happy family. I`m sitting across from my wonderful husband who is laughing and bouncing our beautiful daughter on his knee. Beside me is our colorful, caring and crazy son playing with his fork and knife and making spaceship noises. I sigh at the pleasure it brings me to be here and think back to a time where I doubted I would live another day let alone this many years.
I would like to say I`m fully healed and that the past is behind me, but I can`t. Though Peeta was able to heal fully I`m still working with baby steps. Peeta says that it all comes with time and that I`ve made a huge improvement. I sometimes wonder if I`ve really healed at all. Sometimes, in my nightmares I find myself sixteen again and back in the hunger games, quarter quell and in the rebellion. Whenever I wake up screaming I`m thankful to have Peeta beside me, just like when I really was sixteen. I`ve heard it said that when you`re sixteen, you`re living the dream. Not for me and Peeta.
I`m determined to help my children have the best possible childhood they could have, for the both of us. Right now Ember is three and Trib is five. Life is really easy for them, we make sure of it. Trib started school and Ember nursery school here in district twelve and they have lots of friends. They are never hungry like I was or get abused like Peeta was and when they turn twelve they won't need to be in the hunger games like we were.
I`m not sure when and if we should tell them about the way things used to be. I think about it all the time but feel that right now they are too young and innocent. They learn about it in school but not to the extent we are capable of explaining it at. Peeta thinks that when they turn sixteen we should tell them. Ironic isn't it for my husband to pick the age we were to explain it. But I guess if they are the age, they will be able to handle it better and understand it better. One thing that the school will never tell them is who the mocking jay was. I asked for my own personal grief to keep myself anonymous.
"Katniss, are you okay" Peeta`s voice breaks my train of thought and I realize I`ve started to tear up. I wipe the tear stains off my face and smile and laugh to cover up my grief. After a long awkward dinner Peeta and I put the kids to bed and go to bed. I lie so I am resting my head on his chest. I look up at him with my tear filled eyes. "What`s wrong?" he asks concerned. "It`s her birthday" I squeak out between what are now full out sobs. He looks at me with a confused look until realization clouds his eyes. "Oh, Katniss" he says comfortingly, pulling me into a hug, as I cry into his chest "it`s okay".
We stay like this for a little while until I finally calm down and he starts rubbing my back. "Oh god Peeta I miss her so bad" I say. "I know" he comforts "I miss her too, I miss everyone. But I don`t think she wants you to still cry over her. It`s okay to miss her but you have to move on. We have kids now, we have responsibility". I fall asleep cuddled up to him, the way we used to on the train.
I wake up later in the night and see Peeta walking around talking on the phone "Thanks Haymitch we really appreciate this". I`m so tired from crying I fall back asleep almost immediately after. When it`s morning I wake up to a smiling Peeta. "What" I ask as he notices I`m awake "hey, you`re up" he says.
The morning plays out as usual and after breakfast Peeta pulls me aside. "I have a surprise for you" he said smiling slightly. Next there was a knock at the door and Peeta went to answer it. He pulled opened the door to reveal Haymitch. I smile and go over to greet him "Hi, what brings you here Haymitch" I say pleasantly. "Peeta called me to babysit" he says. I choke, sputtering my coffee all over the floor "what" I ask in disbelief, sending a concerned look at Peeta who just smiles back.
When I had debriefed Haymitch about the children and locked up all of our liquor Peeta led me outside and covered my eyes. We walked for about an hour until he finally uncovered my eyes. We were standing in a graveyard and looking down on a single grave stone. She had been honored in a war memorial and her grave sat apart from the rest. As soon as I had seen her grave I had started to cry again. I buried my head in Peeta`s chest and only looked down at the name one more time, just in case it had changed but to no avail. It read as it always had,
Primrose Everdeen
