A/N: Hey there, this is my first HP fanfic. I've always loved the character of Snape even though some people completely abhor him. Yet I can't help but feel that his importance to the story has always been vastly underrated. To me, in terms of plot mind you, Snape is the third most important HP character, behind Voldemort and Harry himself.
I wrote this story, not to convince you to like Snape but rather to highlight the importance of his character. This story will be at most a three-shot, not longer than that. Some characters may seem OOC and this story may drift to becoming an AU but rest assured, there's more to it than meets the eye so do give it a read!
Disclaimer: I own not a single property of HP as all of it belongs to Robert Galbraith.
The Importance of Being Snape
"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine." – Lily Evans, The Prince's Tale
1971
"GRYFFINDOR!"
Never had a single word sent shockwaves throughout Snape's body. He was bewildered, to say the least, as he glanced at the Slytherin table. Most of the faces there glared at him as Snape recalled how he had bumped into several of the older students on the train and talked to them about his desire to be a Slytherin. Lucius Malfoy looked at him with disgust as Snape felt a hand on his right shoulder. It was the Transfiguration Professor and newly-appointed Head of his House, Professor Minerva McGonagall who was ushering him off the seat towards the Gryffindor table.
The applause had been muted, seeing how many expected someone who looked like him and who had been talking about the joys of Slytherin on the train to be in Slytherin and yet here he was. Severus Snape was a Gryffindor! A bloody, brawns before brains, no-good Gryffindor! Merlin, how embarrassing!
Snape racked his brains as he walked towards the table, trying to figure out just how someone like him could ever have been a Gryffindor. He then saw Lily Evans, patting the seat beside her as she was beaming with joy. That was it! Snape thought. He recalled seeing Lily being sorted to Gryffindor, seeing how James and Sirius were trying to get her to be their friend and a rush of anger had flown through Severus. Lily was his friend and he would be damned if anyone, let alone James and Sirius, were to steal her away too. He had willed himself to be there for her and for that reason, the Hat must have placed him there.
Taking his seat next to Lily, Severus felt a wonderful rush of emotion as she smiled and sat closer to him.
"I thought you wanted to go to Slytherin. Sorry, you didn't get in but I'm glad you're in my house, Severus." Lily said as she beamed at him, her flowing red hair and beautiful emerald green eyes stirred something inside his stomach.
"Yeah, me too. I'm glad to be here with you, Lily." Severus replied as he glared at James and Sirius, both who were sneering at him.
"Really?" Lily asked, surprised to see his reaction. "Why the change of mind?"
"More of a change of heart," Snape replied as he stared at the Gryffindor crest high above the ceiling.
…..
1973
"I have had it here with you, James Potter!" Lily yelled across the common room as the four boys stared blankly at her. Snape was cursing under his breath as he tried to pick up his books that had been shoved from his arm when James accidentally bumped into him.
"You're nothing but an arrogant toe-rag! Just because you're on the Quidditch team and have your gang of blind followers does not mean you get to treat Severus the way you do. It's been going on for four years now and I've had it up to here! Tell me, James, why do you treat Severus as such? Is it because he's poor?"
"That's barmy, Lily! Snivellus just annoys me, that's all!" James said as Sirius, Remus, and Peter, James's friends, nodded in agreement.
"How exactly does he annoy you, might I ask? And his name is Severus, you prat!" Lily replied icily as she put her hands on her hips.
"He takes digs at us too, Lily! Don't you…Snivellus?" James said as he spat out Snape's name, refusing to give an inch. Snape wanted more than anything else to snap back a retort and hex James stinking Potter to oblivion but looking at Lily, Snape kept his mouth shut. For the past three years, Lily had been looking out for Snape just as he had for her. Adjusting to Gryffindor had not been easy for him but Lily had made it all worthwhile. Their friendship meant so much to Snape and he wouldn't throw it away for anything. Especially not when Lily was trying to defend him against the big bully known as James Potter.
"Of course he does! You really expect him to not insult or take action if someone does the same to him? Try being in his shoes, James if you're even capable of that. Don't you think if you acted just a little nicer to Snape, he wouldn't be retaliating the way he has."
"Be nicer to him?!" Sirius cried out incredulously as Peter gave a laugh. Remus, to his credit, had fallen silent.
"Oh, so this is how it is? Hiding behind your woman, eh Snivellus? You really think someone like her would actually be with someone like you?" James retorted, ignoring Lily as he glared at Snape. Sirius laughed out loud as Peter threw insults at Snape while Remus continued to look slightly embarrassed. Snape felt his face burning as he turned to walk away only for a soft hand to grab at his arm. Turning around, Snape saw Lily glaring daggers at James as her face went red with fury.
"That's it. I'm reporting you to McGonagall and if she doesn't take any action, I'm going all the way up the Headmaster. I've had enough of you, James Potter. You've disgust me. It doesn't matter to me how popular you are or how close you are for your friends or how loyal you can be to them. If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats those he thinks are inferior to him, not his equals and you, James Potter, are much less of a man than Severus Snape. Let's go, Severus!" Lily yelled, leaving the four boys in shock as they contemplated her words. Lily marched through the portrait as she and Snape left the Gryffindor common room for the sanctuary of the corridor.
"Arrogant prick," Lily growled as Snape walked alongside her, watching her reaction. Despite how much he hated James, Snape couldn't help but agree with him on one particular point. Lily was too good for him. Snape sighed as he stopped walking as Lily turned back to look at him.
"Severus, what's wrong?" Lily ask with concern as she saw his morose expression.
"I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble, Lily. Not that I'm not grateful for you defending me."
"Well, you certainly took it better than you did the last time I defended you from James and his goons. I recall you shouting at me, saying you didn't need my help." Lily said with a smirk on her face.
"I was young and stupid. Felt embarrassed having a girl defend me, like I couldn't stand up for myself. Not that there's anything wrong with that!" Snape said hastily as Lily cocked an eyebrow at him. "I mean…I just…thank you, Lily."
"No need to thank me," Lily said as she smiled at him. "No one gets away with bullying my best friend. You've always been there for me when we were younger, Severus, especially when I felt like a freak."
"You're not a freak!" Snape exclaimed with a shriek.
"I know that," Lily said as she laughed at his reaction. "That's because you had my back and I'm always going to have yours. Listen, this can't go on. James is getting out of control and one day, he's going to go too far. We have to stop this now, Severus. I'm going to McGonagall and I am going to demand that she does something besides simply punishing them." Lily said with such passion that Snape felt his stomach turning inside out.
"He is popular though. And he's the star of the Quidditch team. I doubt he'll stop doing what he does." Snape sighed as Lily grabbed his hand.
"Severus Snape, look at me."
Snape stared into those beautiful emerald eyes of hers.
"I mean what I said to James. You're far better than you give yourself credit for." Lily whispered before planting a peck on his cheek. Snape felt his cheek burn as his entire body stood still for the moment. Butterflies were flying about in his stomach as he felt a wonderful burst of joy and warmth spreading throughout his entire body.
"Come on, let's go," Lily spoke as she turned around to walk down the corridor. As Snape followed her, his mind was fixated on only one thought. The same thought that had been around from the moment he spied Lily and his sister, Petunia at the playground many years ago.
He was in love with Lily Evans.
…
"Merlin, this stinks!" James complained as he scrubbed the walls with soap. Snape kept his mouth shut as he continued to mop the floor. Professor McGonagall had asked both Snape and James to come to her office for mediation session. As expected, this led to a blazing row between the two resulting in the explosion of a cauldron from a misfiring hex. McGonagall had been furious and ordered both boys to clean her office with no magic as part of detention. She then threatened to give them detention over and over again until both her students could behave in a civil manner towards each other.
"How many more detentions do we have, Snivellus?" James drawled as he flung his brush to the side.
"Until we learn to get along," Snape replied curtly as he dropped onto a chair, exhausted at the work that had taken them three hours and was still not even halfway done.
"Merlin, we're going to get detention until we graduate. Hope you're happy with that, Snivellus!" James snapped as he glared at Snape who glared back.
"I rather do these detentions than become friends with you, Potter!"
"Right back at you!"
"It's your fault we're in this mess anyways! Firing a Stunning spell?! Don't you know how to control your wand, Potter?" Snape growled as James glared at him. Snape noticed James absentmindedly trying to reach for his wand only to realise that he had forgotten McGonagall had confiscated both of their wands. Crunching his knuckles, James sneered back at Snape.
"You're lucky I'm too tired right now to do anything to you, Snivellus. Otherwise, I'll hit you so hard in the face that you might actually look good for once."
Snape let out a mocking laugh. "Do your worst, Potter. You think this is the first time I've been threatened with violence. I can take a hit. I've been taking hits all my life!"
James looked stunned. "What do you mean?"
"Never mind." Snape snapped as he went back to his mop. He had nearly revealed the truth of his upbringing to his most despicable foe. Not even Lily knew how bad it was back at home.
"Did someone hit you before?" James asked, not wanting to let it go.
"Drop it," Snape growled.
"You said all your life. I've only hit you once and that was in Hogwarts. Who else takes shots at you, Snivellus?"
"Why do you care?!" Snape retorted as James flinched for a moment before glaring back at Snape.
"Fuck it! Whoever hitting you must have had a good reason to, then!"
Snape threw the mop down with such force that it split into two. He never felt such anger, such fury rushing through him before. Usually, James's insults would hit a sore spot with Snape but none had been quite as personal as this. Snape glared with all his might at James who had momentarily looked startled at his reaction before glaring back defiantly as well.
"A good reason, you say? Tell me then, Potter, what good reason does a parent have for hitting a son? Or a father for striking his child just because he didn't have his fill of alcohol in his lungs? Perhaps you think there's a good reason for my father abusing all my life, calling me names like freak and hitting much anywhere he can with a fist or a bottle or a belt! You have no idea, no fucking idea just how bad my life has been, Potter. You come from a family who loves you, cares for you and adores you with clothes and food and riches while I suffer each and every day. If not for magic, who knows what I would become? So yes, praise my father for beating me up. Praise parents who abuse their children. Praise them all, Potter! I expect nothing less from the likes of you."
Snape could see that James was stunned. Not wanting a reply, Snape grabbed the top half of the broken mop and proceeded to mop the other ends of the room. He wanted to get as far away from James as possible.
"I'm sorry."
Nothing but the shock at hearing these words coming out from James of all people could have caused Snape to look up. He could see James staring at him as his face held a strange expression, one that Snape could only presume to be sympathy though sympathy was the last thing he expected James would feel for him.
"Why didn't you do anything? You're a wizard, aren't you?" James asked curiously as Snape snorted in response.
"I'm underaged, for one thing, and wizards can't use magic against Muggles. That's against the law."
"Yeah, but he hit you. Screw the law." James said as Snape looked away.
"It's not how I do things," Snape said as he continued to mop.
"Well, you're a Gryffindor aren't you? Live up to the name then. Stick for yourself. Heck, report him to the authorities or something. Tell McGonagall! Merlin, grow a backbone will you?"
Snape bit back a retort as he continued mopping. James yell out a growl of frustration as he walked towards Snape and grabbed the broken mop, flinging it to the side.
"Do you want to know why I pick on you so much? It's because you're a stinking hypocrite. You may wear a Gryffindor tie, have Gryffindor robes and eat at the Gryffindor table but you're no Gryffindor, Snape. You're a stinking Slytherin in Gryffindor robes. You've always been one."
"Well, screw you, Potter!" Snape growled as he stood toe-to-toe with James.
"Don't try to deny it! Is your father the reason why you hate Muggles so much? Maybe that's why you hate Muggleborns too!"
Snape gave a derisive laugh. "My best friend is Muggleborn."
"And you think that matters!" James yelled as he glared at Snape. "Lily is the ONLY one who you set aside your prejudice for. I've seen the way you look at Muggleborns and how you talk about people who aren't wizards, like werewolves or vampires or elves! If there was a sign-up sheet to join You-Know-Who, I won't be surprised to see your name on it! I recall how Avery and Mulciber bully members of our house like Bryan Thomas for being Muggleborn and what do you do when you saw it happening? You just stood there, doing nothing until Sirius had to intervene! You should listen to what Lily said about being a man and how he treats his inferiors. Just because you got a hard-on for Lily doesn't excuse your behaviour towards others who are just like her! That's why I pick on you because when the time comes to stand out and be counted as a Gryffindor, you skulk away like a Slytherin. Which is what you are, deep down. You may have fooled Lily but you haven't fooled me. My dad always told me that you are who you choose to be. So choose!" James said as he shoved Snape to the floor.
Every fibre of his body wanted to fling himself at James and continue to pound on his face and yet, for the first time since meeting James Potter, Snape couldn't help but feel that this time, maybe James had a point.
…..
"Give that back!"
Snape was walking down the fifth-floor corridor when he heard a shriek emanating from around the corner. Snape crept towards the corner before sticking his head to see what was happening. Mary Mcdonald, a third year in his house was crying as she tried to grab her books that Mulciber and Avery, two Slytherins from the same year as Snape, were throwing about in the air. Lucius Malfoy, a seventh-year prefect was yawning loudly as he chuckled at the sight of a distraught Mary trying frantically to grab at her books.
"Oh, the Mudblood speaks!" Avery snarled as he pushed Mary to the floor. "Trying to learn to be a real witch, eh Mudblood?"
"A real witch?! Mudbloods can't be witches. Not unless they steal it from someone else." Mulciber growled as Mary continued to cry.
"Please, I just want to get to class."
"Shut up!" Mulciber snapped as he threw her books all around the corridor. "I heard you singing some stinking Muggle song. Maybe I should teach you a lesson. Like, sew your mouth shut." Mulciber said as he pointed his wand at Mary. Fortunately, Lucius decided to intervene.
"No magic is permissible in Hogwarts walls, Mulciber. The Headmaster can detect it." Lucius said as Mulciber and Avery took a step back. It was clear, to Severus, that Lucius was the one calling the shots.
Snape thought back to what James had said to him the day before. Indeed, Snape had only defended Lily when it came to other wizards or witches who tried to take shots at her. He had often walked away and turned a blind eye when it came to anyone else and yet for some reason, Snape couldn't feel his feet moving. He stared at the sight of Mary cowering under Avery, Mulciber and Lucius who were laughing evilly as they advanced upon her. Snape looked towards Lucius Malfoy when suddenly, a strange thought appeared in his head.
Snape saw his father.
For some reason, Lucius had become the splitting image of Tobias Snape, advancing upon Mary who now took on the appearance of an eight-year-old Severus as he cowered under the belt that Tobias was holding in his hand. Noticing a window in front of him, Snape saw, in the reflective glass of one of the window panes, that he had turned into Eileen Prince, his mother, who often did nothing as she watched her husband lash out at her son. Snape felt his blood started to boil.
All this time, Snape had hated Muggles. Muggles who had no understanding of magic and chose to lash and strike out at their kids for being abnormal. Muggles like his father who liked to belittle and abuse those whom he deemed inferior under him. Snape recalled how in his second year, he had snuck out, hidden under a Disillusionment Charm, to the Forbidden Forest to sit with wizards and witches, most of whom were in Slytherin, to hear the talks that Lucius and a few other Slytherin students had given about the importance of being pureblood and how they were willing to follow in the steps of Lord Voldemort and wipe out all the Muggles and Muggleborns of the world. How Snape admired Lucius! How he wanted to be like him!
But now…
Now, all Snape saw was just another bully. A bully just like his father, just like James, who sought to take out their frustrations on others they felt were inferior to them. It was not lost on Snape that it took a bully like James to help him see the light. Blood didn't matter! None of it did! Shouldn't someone whose blood was as pure as Lucius treat others with respect and kindness? How different might the world be? Yes, Snape may have believed in pureblood supremacy but attacking an innocent girl was it was all about then Snape wanted no part of it.
If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats those he thinks are inferior to him, not his equals
Lily's words rung inside his head as Snape reached for his wand. James was right. Snape was a hypocrite. He was a coward. He would defend Lily with all his might and yet, why didn't he do the same for others who needed his help as well? What was it he said to Lily all those years ago?
"Does it make a difference, being Muggle-born?"
Snape hesitated. His black eyes, eager in the greenish gloom, moved over the pale face, the dark red hair.
"No," he said. "It doesn't make any difference."
So why did it matter if Mary McDonald was Muggleborn?
"We don't need magic to sew up that mouth, do we lads?" Lucius said icily as Avery and Mulciber chuckled sinisterly.
No.
It did not matter.
It never did.
Yet here she was, Mary Mcdonald, his fellow Gryffindor being bullied by three large and despicable Slytherins. And Snape despised bullies.
"HEY!"
Snape saw Lucius's head spinning around as Avery and Mulciber turned away from Mary to look at him. Surprise registered for the moment before Avery and Mulciber glared at the Gryffindor crest on Snape's robes while Lucius gave him a smirk.
"Ah, Severus, come to join?"
"Leave Mary alone. Leave her alone and walk away. This is my only warning." Severus said coldly as he walked towards Mary.
"You sticking up for your Mudblood friends?" Avery growled as he tried to advance towards Snape only to be blocked by Lucius.
"Now, now, Avery. Severus here hates Mudbloods just as much as us, don't you Snape? I recalled how you first spoke about them during the ride in the Hogwarts Express. Such a pity that the Hat placed you in Gryffindor. You would have made an excellent Slytherin." Lucius drawled as he winked at Severus who wanted nothing more than to curse his face to oblivion.
"Don't use that word. Mary's Muggleborn and there's nothing wrong with that. You guys are nothing but monsters and bullies."
"Nothing wrong with that?" Lucius exclaimed crossly as he glared at Snape. "Did you spend too much time soaking in the Mudblood air of your common room, Severus? She's a Mudblood! There's all that is to that!"
"SHE'S A MUGGLEBORN AND THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!" Snape yelled so loud that the other three wizards were startled by his tone. Lucius was the first to compose himself. He sneered at Snape, the disgust evident on his face.
"You disappoint me, Severus. But then again, I can't be surprised seeing how you chose to associate yourself with that Mudblood whore."
STUPEFY!
Lucius flew back as soon as he felt the impact on the curse. He crashed into Avery who gave a yelp as he collapsed under the weight of the much larger seventh year. Mulciber, however, managed to dodge both of them as he threw one of Mary's books towards Snape, causing the latter to drop his wand. At the sight of the wand falling, Mulciber threw himself onto Snape as they grappled on the floor.
"Get out of here, Mary!" Snape shouted as he wrestled with Mulciber. Unfortunately for Snape, Mulciber was twice his size and used his large weight to pin Snape to the ground. Mary looked at Snape with fear before nodding and running off.
"You're nothing but a filthy Mudblood lover, half-blood. Since you don't care about blood, you won't care that I take it from you." Mulciber spat as he threw his fist onto Snape's face. Snape heard the crack of his nose before a blinding pain seared throughout his face. Any other person might have screamed with pain but pain was no mystery to Snape. He had harder punches before. Squirming his left leg from under Mulciber, he raised it with such force that his knee connected with a very important part of Mulciber's body.
"Ahhhh!" Mulciber screamed in pain as he doubled over with his hands firmly between his thighs. Snape got up and proceeded to go for his wand.
Expelliarmus!
Snape watched as his wand flew in the air towards Lucius who caught it with his right hand. Seething in anger, Lucius ordered Avery to pin Snape down. The pain from his broken nose was getting to him.
"You pathetic little worm. You tried to stun me? ME?! I should report you for using magic. Perhaps that is the Gryffindor way. But we Slytherins do things a little different." Lucius whispered dangerously as he pointed Snape's wand at him.
"Pin him down good, Avery!" Lucius barked as Avery complied. "I'm going to use the Cruciatus curse on him."
Avery's eyes popped out of his head as Snape looked at Lucius with fear.
"But…that's Unforgivable! You would be sent to Azkaban, Lucius!" Avery whispered loudly as Lucius rolled his eyes.
"Not if I'm using his wand, Avery. We can just say that Severus here attacked us with the curse but we managed to subdue him and turn the curse on himself. The school won't bother with our memories, they'll just check whose wand the curse came from and that's it. No one will know." Lucius replied grimly as Avery nodded his head. Lucius turned his attention to Snape.
"Looks like you chose the wrong side," Lucius whispered before taking a breath. "Cruc – "
SLAM!
All Snape could see was a large shadow throwing themselves onto Lucius as he toppled over. Snape suddenly felt his hands able to move as Avery was yanked off him.
"Get away from him."
Once again, nothing could have pulled Snape away from the pain except for the sound of a very familiar voice.
James Potter was here. And he was throwing Avery to the wall as Remus and Peter pointed their wands at Avery and Mulciber. Snape turned to see Sirius Black grappling with Lucius who pulled himself off Sirius.
"Potter, Black! What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Beating the shit out of you! What else do you think?" Sirius growled as he circled Lucius Malfoy.
"You mess with one Gryffindor, you mess with all of us," Remus added as he glared at Avery.
"Yeah.." Peter whimpered as he struggled to point his wand at Mulciber who was still groaning in pain.
"So get lost!" James shouted as Lucius Malfoy took another look before calling Avery and Mulciber to follow him. Snape watched as the Slytherins disappeared from his sight.
"Peter, go to Madam Pomfrey and tell her one of the students had an accident. Remus, help gather the rest of Mary's things. You all right there, Severus?"
Snape, who had been holding his nose, stared up at James Potter who held out his hand as Sirius Black lifted Snape from his back. Together, the two boys managed to lift Snape up and each took an arm as they walked with Snape towards the hospital wing.
"What did you call me?" Severus asked as James grinned at him.
"Well, can't really call you Snivellus after what you just did."
"That was totally bad-ass!" Sirius hooted out loud.
Severus glanced at James, taking in the smile that James was giving him. Surely, it must have been a dream. Only a dream could explain why his most hated foe was smiling and helping him, saving him from what could only be described as incredible torture.
"I guess I owe you an apology, Severus. I was wrong. You're not a coward." James said.
"Then what am I?" Severus asked randomly, still surprised that James was helping him.
"You're a Gryffindor and more importantly, you're a hero. If Mary hadn't found us and told us what was happening, I wouldn't have believed it. But seeing you standing up to Lucius and those imbeciles, it really changed my mind. Though, mind you, we're not like best friends or anything!" James added as Sirius chuckled.
"We should give him a new name."
"What's wrong with Severus?" Snape said with a frown as James gave him a thoughtful look.
"Nah, too long and too close with Snivellus," James replied before beaming with pride. "I know! We'll call you Sev! Has a nice ring to it."
As Severus walked with James and Sirius towards the hospital wing, he couldn't help but agree on his new nickname.
…
1974
"Sev! Wait up!"
Snape stopped in his tracks as he saw James running at him on the grounds, no doubt coming from the Quidditch Pitch. Each time he looked at James smiling at him, Snape could not help but believe that he was somehow dreaming. A year ago, they wanted to tear each other apart and now, James had become one of his closest friends, together with Remus, Sirius, and Peter although the last two had taken some time before accepting it.
"What's up, James?" Snape said as he smiled. James had such an infectious and passionate personality that Snape could not help but be drawn towards him. He knew now why James was indeed so popular. He chuckled at the thought that Lily had once said that even though she was Severus's best friend, she sometimes felt jealous at the two boys chatting and laughing away. Their friendship had been good for James as well. After that fight with Lily a year ago and Snape standing up for Mary, James no longer had a vindictive bullying side except maybe towards the Slytherins who still tried to rile them up with their pureblood speak.
Purebloods! Blah! Snape no longer had the same sentiments he did a year ago. He had changed quite a bit.
"Wanted to thank you for your help with my Potions, mate! You and Lily are just naturals, I tell you." James said as he brushed off the dirt that had gathered on him during his Quidditch training.
"Happy to help. Slughorn's good but he can be quite pompous sometimes." Snape said as James nodded in agreement. Looking around him to see that no one was watching, James motioned for Snape to get closer.
"Listen." James whispered as he looked around him once more. "There's something I need to tell you and this has to stay secret between us, okay? No one outside the Marauders know about this."
Snape nodded his head. It was a well-known fact that one thing about James that was special was his devoted loyalty towards the Marauders, the name James came up with for himself, Sirius, Remus and Peter. To have James place his trust on you was not something to be taken lightly.
"I don't know if you notice but Remus, well…err… he's not just a wizard." James said as he looked expectedly at Snape. All of a sudden, a light bulb clicked in Snape's head as he realised what James was saying. Back when they weren't friends, Severus often insinuated that Remus, especially with his disappearance coinciding on the appearance of the full moon, was indeed a werewolf.
"I think I know what you're talking about," Snape whispered as James gave him a curious stare. "Do you need me to make the Wolfsbane Potion?"
James's eyes widened in realization. "So you know…"
"I've suspected."
"And you know how to make Wolfsbane?! Merlin, Sev, you should be teaching the class!" James said in awe that a fourth year would know how to concoct such a complex potion. Snape blushed at the compliment. It wasn't every day that James Potter was impressed with you.
"This is brilliant! But no, we're not in need of it. Dumbledore's already seen to it." James said as he patted Snape on the back. "What I wanted to tell you is that well, Remus, when he's in his furry state, often gets quite lonely. So the rest of us decided we wanted to spend more time with him. So we were thinking, seeing that you're brilliant at charms as well, do you want to…become Animagus?"
Snape did a double-take as he comprehended what James was saying to him. Using Animagi to become animals did make sense as werewolves don't normally attack other animals but it was a difficult spell to master and more importantly, illegal if done without the proper registration. Yet the lure of James Potter, who constantly broke the rules, trusting him with something like this attracted Sev greatly. Furthermore, Remus had been the nicest out of the four even back when they hated each other and helping him only lead to Snape nodding his head fervently.
"Excellent! We'll make a Marauder out of you yet."
Snape's jaw dropped. "You want me to be a Marauder?"
James chuckled at the sight of Snape's expression. "Well, you did pass the one-year probationary measure. And you're my friend, Sev! You were a Marauder long before this."
Severus felt a rush of joy throughout his body. It was one thing to have Lily as a friend but having James by his side made him realise just how happy he was that the Hat chose to send him to Gryffindor.
"Anyways, I know you're close with Lily," James said as he awkwardly rubbed his hand behind his head. "But for obvious reasons, you can't tell her about this. The less people who know, the better."
"My lips are sealed," Snape said as James beamed at him before giving him a wicked grin.
"So… speaking of Lily, why haven't you made a move on her yet?" James asked as Severus blushed deeply.
"She's with Tom Davies now. The sixth-year Ravenclaw." Snape said with a grimace as James cringed at the mention of Tom's name.
"That prat?! He's a randy git, is what he is. Lily deserves better. You should take her away from him. I heard their relationship is on the rocks." James said as he patted Snape on his back.
"Be that as it may, she's still with him," Snape said with a sigh as James rolled his eyes before grabbing Snape's arms.
"Look, Sev, you can't be Lily's white knight forever, mate. You either got to man up and tell her how you feel or someone else might come swooping. I mean, Lily is really pretty and quite the catch!"
Snape gave James a confused look, one mixed with fear. Was James interested in Lily? James, the popular and handsome boy of Gryffindor who girls often swooned as he walked by, would no doubt be a much better option than himself. Seeing the look on Snape's face, James gave a laugh.
"No! Don't worry about me, mate. Yes, I'll admit that I do find her quite attractive. I mean, which bloke wouldn't?" James spoke before raising his hand as Snape looked ready to protest. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to go for her, even if she does want me in that way. You're my mate now, Sev and that means more to me than anything else. No matter how I feel, I won't get in the way. What's that saying again? Willies before lilies?"
Snape cringed at the innuendo as James laughed once more before saying goodbye as he made his way back to the castle. Snape let out a sigh and a smile as he watched James disappear from his sight. No doubt, James meant what he said and it gave a small comfort to Snape that he didn't have to compete with James for Lily's affections. Walking towards the patch of grass that stood away from the Whomping Willow, Snape was surprised to see Lily seated on the ground crying.
A rush of protectiveness came over Snape as he hurried towards Lily's side. Seeing her tear and knowing his best friend better than to instantly pry information out, Snape took out his hanky and passed it to her while he seated quietly by her side.
"Thank you." Lily sniffed as she wiped her tears. For the longest time, they sat there in silence. Snape racked his brains trying to figure out the best way to approach the subject when all of a sudden, Lily broke the silence.
"Tom and I broke up. Or rather, I dumped him."
"Oh," Snape replied, hoping his tone hadn't given way to the rush of elation knowing the prat was no longer the centre of Lily's affections.
"I saw him and Susie Peterson going at it in a broom closet. Needless to say, he got caught with his pants down in the literal sense."
What was once happiness had turned to anger as Snape realized what Tom had done. He had hurt his Lily! Snape growled in anger as he balled his fists, thinking how lucky it was for Tom that it was Lily and not Snape that caught him.
"I'll kill him. How dare he? How bloody dare he!"
"Severus, stop. It's okay. I wasn't crying because of him." Lily sniffed as she cleared her throat.
Snape was surprised. "Then what are you crying about?"
Lily sighed out loud before giving Snape a bittersweet smile and staring at him in such a serious manner that Snape felt a shudder.
"Severus, what's love?"
Perhaps it was the randomness of the question that caused Snape to hesitate. Perhaps it was the fact that this was Lily, Lily Evans, who was asking the question. The girl whom he became friends with, went to Gryffindor for. The girl whom Severus Snape loved with all his heart.
"Err… is that question rhetorical?" Snape said, unable to give out an answer. To his relief, Lily chuckled softly as she smiled at him.
"I suppose it is. Severus, I'm not upset at Tom for doing what he did. Merlin knows I've heard the rumours that he likes to flirt with other girls and that his last two girlfriends were cheated on by him as well."
"Then why did you date him?" Snape asked, curious that someone as level-headed as Lily could fall for a bloke like Tom.
"I suppose it's the girly nature in me. Tom's kind of like a bad boy and he is good looking. Plus, he's the captain of the Ravenclaw Team and a prefect."
"So you like Quidditch players…" Snape trailed off as he thought bitterly of another familiar Quidditch player who so happens to have a thing for Lily as well.
"I like boys who aren't afraid to be themselves around me. I'm not attracted to Tom because of the way he looks or what he does though I have to admit that those are a bonus but it's the way I could be around him. Not having to worry that Tom would be so enamoured with me that he would change himself to become the guy he thinks I want him to be. There's nothing more unappealing to a girl than a guy who's clingy, Severus, and Merlin knows that I've had my share of bad dates. The thing about Tom was that he was this rebel with a devil-may-care attitude, unafraid of anything. Strangely, he was more Gryffindor than Ravenclaw." Lily mused.
"But what's wrong with a guy that just wants to be there for you? Make sure nothing bad ever happens to you?" Snape said as Lily smiled at him.
"Girls want to be loved, Severus. They don't want to be saved. Not all of us are damsels in distress. Girls want guys who love them and guys who they can love but how can you love someone who changes who he is for you? I don't need a protector, Severus."
"Then why were you crying?"
Lily sighed as she plucked a flower from the ground.
"Because I changed, Severus. I was so love-struck by Tom that I changed who I was for him. Look at what I did, Severus. How I neglected my studies, my work, and even our friendship. Don't try to deny it. If not for James and you becoming such close friends, I might have destroyed what we had." Lily sniffed as she laid her head to rest on his shoulder. Snape felt his stomach twisting once more as he put his arm around her and pulled her close.
"I'm always going to be your friend, Lily," Severus whispered as he pulled her close. The whiff of her rose shampoo always made the toes of Snape tingle as he felt his heart beating faster and faster.
"Well, see that you do. Because Sev, if any guy ever comes between us, then I rather be single! Your friendship means more to me than anything else."
As Snape looked at Lily who was leaning on his shoulder while trying to brush her long strands of red hair off her face, he couldn't help but wonder what his life might have been if she hadn't existed. He couldn't imagine a world without Lily Evans. As she looked up to smile at him, Snape thought back to the most beautiful things that he had ever seen. Hogwarts in the distance as snow fell from the sky. The comet that was streaking across the sky as seen through the telescope of the Astronomy Tower. The Patronus that he created during a Patronus Charms class. All of it paled in comparison as Snape held his breath at the sight of the gorgeous redheaded beauty on his side, without a shadow of a doubt, the most beautiful thing his eyes have ever laid their eyes on.
Tell her
Snape could hear James's voice, egging him on inside his head.
But what if she just wants to be friends?
What if she wants something more?
I cannot lose her as a friend. Not Lily. Never Lily.
You won't lose her, Sev, you got to know that.
I…..I can't…I'm sorry
"Sev, you okay?" Lily asked, her green eyes staring curiously at Snape
"Yeah, just thinking about your question," Snape said hastily, eager to not let Lily suspect a thing.
"Which one?"
"What is love to you, Lily?"
Lily raised her head from his shoulder as Snape felt a slight disappointment in her action. She turned to look at Snape, a wide smile etched on her face.
"Love to me, Severus, is the most beautiful thing in this world. Anyone can fall in love, mind you, but true love, now that's rare. To truly love someone, I believe, it means to care for them more than you care about yourself. Don't get me wrong, Sev, it doesn't mean you change who you are but you love them for everything that they are, flaws and all and you would do anything to make them happy."
"But what if they don't love you back?"
"Then you move on. Or you don't." Lily replied after a thought. "But in the case of true love, you don't stop loving them, even if they leave you or they hate you. Love transcends everything. Time. Space. Death. There's nothing in this world more special than having someone feel true love towards you. But like I said, it's rare. Not even the longest marriages can say that they feel such a way. Why do you want to know?" Lily asked curiously as she looked at him.
"Nothing. Just wanted to know. So I guess you didn't feel true love for Tom, huh?" Snape chuckled as Lily made a face.
"Merlin, no! Eww… Tom can go to hell for all I care. It's just attraction, after all."
"Attraction?"
"Yes, attraction," Lily said passively as she waved her hand. "You can't be in a relationship with someone without attraction. If there's no attraction, there's no chance."
"Could you love someone who wasn't attracted to you?"
"Of course. But without the attraction, it all comes to naught. So if you want to get a girl to notice you, Severus, you got to make sure she's attracted to you first."
"So you change yourself?" Snape said with a grin as Lily laughed.
"Image is important but even if attraction doesn't happen straightway, it can come later. Why are you asking me all this? Is there someone who you fancy, Sev? Tell me!" Lily giggled as she shook his arm eagerly.
Tell her!
No!
"Err… no. I was just curious." Snape said as Lily looked strangely disappointed before perking up with a grin.
"Well, I know someone who fancies you. Mary McDonald."
"Mary?!" Snape cried in astonishment. "But why would Mary fancy me?"
"Because you stood up for her?"
"I thought you said girls didn't like to be saved?"
"Not all the time!" Lily cried indignantly. "It's nice to have someone stand up for you and well, Mary always had a thing for brave and smart boys. If you want, I could put in a good word for you."
"You'll do that?" Snape said, still unable to get over the fact that Mary liked him.
"Of course. What are friends for? I'll expect the same thing from you if a guy likes me. Not now though but when I'm ready to date." Lily chuckled as she stood on her feet. "Got any guys for me, Sev?"
"Hahaha…" Snape forced a laugh as he tried to ignore the pang of jealousy that coursed throughout his body as his thoughts turned towards a certain raven-haired rebel and well-loved Quidditch player.
…..
Leaving it here for now. Will update soon!
