Dedication to the song "Potato-head in Wonderland"

I feel eyes all over me, as if they were crawling onto my skin….as if they were sewed onto my skin.

My life is nothing but a fraud…..my boyfriend Axel is only using me...isn't he?

I heard him having sex with Larxene the other day and today he's trying to seduce me, he's nothing but a whore in the organization.

March 13th, 2011…

Both of my hands were clenching my hair tightly. I was just thinking

"It doesn't stop, it doesn't stop. It doesn't stop. It's cold. It's cold. It's cold. It's painful, it's painful, it's painful."

"But it's not my fault" I said out loud. I was sick of it all, I wanted Axel to pay…I wanted him to feel the same kind of pain I was feeling deep into my "Heart". Oh that's right we don't have hearts. Even if we cannot feel sorrow, why do I feel jealousy and hurt? I wanted Axel to pay. So I ran out my room and knocked on Demyx's door. Demyx would always comment on how hot and adorable I was and sometimes he would sexually touch me. So why not give Demyx what he wants?

Demyx opened his door and was wearing a black T-shirt that said "Girls dig me" With a shovel behind the words and black pajama pants.

"Oh hey Roxas, is there something yo-nnn!" Before Demyx had a chance to finish his sentence, I latched my lips onto his, at first Demyx looked surprised but he soon succumbed to the kiss and I opened my mouth for a better access for him. Demyx broke the kiss and said "Why don't we finish this in my room?"

I smirked and nodded and we both went into his room.

For the rest of the night the only that could be heard was moaning, Demyx calling my name and me calling Demyx's name.

March 14th, 2011…

I woke up next to Demyx cuddling me. I smiled as if I accomplished something. Something in my stomach told me Axel was jealous yet hurt at the same time. I smirked and pulled Demyx closer to my body and lolled away back into darkness. When I woke up again I saw Demyx getting dressed. So I put my clothes on and headed for the door but I was stopped when I felt two strong hands pull me towards their chest. I figured it was Demyx.

"Hi Demyx.''

"Hello Roxas, aw leaving so soon?" He sounded as if he was just playing around when he said that, so I smirked and said "Yeah I am.'' I opened the door and before I left I said "Demyx will you be my lover?"

"Of course I will.'' He spun me around and latched his lips onto mine. I responded to the kiss but after 5 minutes I pulled away and left the room. I headed towards the showers and I heard Axel and Xigbar talking, I wasn't able to hear them clearly but it sounded as if they were saying

"You know Xemnas…..s…...Roxas is the whore of the organization now.'' That sounded like Xigbar, and what did they mean I was the whore of the organization.

"I know what you mean Xiggy….he fucked Demyx last night…and he fucked Saix and Marluxia.''

Wait a sec, no I didn't! Demyx was my first. I turned the shower water off and wrapped a towel around my waist and ran towards them, but when I got there they were both smirking at me.

"Hello my little whore.'' Axel said with a smirk, even though he had a smirk on his face his eyes were hurtful.

"I am not a whore! I never fucked Saix or Marluxia!''

"Oh? But that's why Demyx told us.'' Xigbar said, when he said that I felt my heart shatter.

"Really?" I said with a hurtful tone.

"Yep, and he's telling everyone in the Grey room that you screwed me and Axel.''

"But I never done that.'' Both Axel and Xigbar walked up to me and pinned me to the walls.

"But you will in a sec, Roxie.''

"It doesn't stop, it doesn't stop. It doesn't stop. It's cold. It's cold. It's cold. It's painful, it's painful, it's painful."

March 15th, 2011…

I am sick of it all, I was raped by my ex boyfriend and his friend. Then when I left the shower room Larxene and Luxord walked past me and started calling me names like "Whore.''

I couldn't take it anymore, so I grabbed a pair of scissors that was on my desk and sliced my wrist a bit.

"Ouch!" I yelled and accidently dropped the scissors...but the pain started to turn into pleasure…it felt…good? So I grabbed the scissors again and started to slice my wrist over and over and over again. The pain felt so good that I just couldn't stop...but it wasn't enough.

"Goodbye world, hopefully I have more fun in the afterlife.'' I stabbed myself in the "Heart" and collapsed on my chest thus pushing the scissors deeper into my chest…I was alive for a good 15 seconds until…I heard nothing anymore…I saw nothing anymore….I felt nothing anymore.

Saix's POV~

March 16th, 2011

''It appears that number 13 has committed suicide. Oh well no one really admired his presence into the organization anyway. Before Axel had asked Roxas out, he told me his plan in order to eliminate number 13. So I had helped him, I told Demyx that if he went according to plan I would make sure he had a yearly vacation and he happily flirted with Roxas. Larxene asked Axel for sex and Axel was already horny so he had happily accepted the offer, he knew Roxas was still inside the castle and decided to screw Larxene to make sure Roxas listened. Everything went according to plan as Roxas asked Demyx for sex….and because of his mistake into joining the organization it had cost him his own life.''

From Saix, to Xemnas.

I closed the journal and headed to sleep with a smirk.

"But they all fell for my own plan, I want Axel all to myself.''

I chuckled to myself and fell asleep to the darkness.

End