Various Storms and Saints

(AKA: Slumber Party Sisters)

Outside, the storm raged. It was a rough Nor'easter this year. Jude didn't mind it so much. She stood before the window in her chambers, staring at the lightning with little reaction in her brown eyes. Behind her, a fire crackled in the grate, and the chill was beginning to lift. She pulled at her wimple, letting barely tamed curls break into mane. They had a mind of their own, really - the curls. Becoming a nun had alleviated the responsibility. Convenient, just covering the mess every day.

It was late. Medicated and locked away, the lunatics would be quiet for the night. There might even be sleep. She sighed, hoping so. Wimple on her desk, she removed her chaplet and knelt before her crucifix, beads sliding through fingers as her nightly prayers poured. Tonight, after Hail Marys and Lord's Prayers and Glory Be's, a particular prayer:

"Graciously hear us, father,

When we call upon you,

And grant unto our supplications a calm atmosphere,

That we, who are justly afflicted for our sins,

May by your protecting mercy,

Experience pardon."

Over and over the penitent whisper. Over and over the beads slid. Soon, the words lost meaning, and the mind lulled. The past coalesced. The girl. The glasses. The blue dress. The bicycle. The beads…

A soft, hesitant knock interrupted her hypnotic reverie. She blinked at the wall for a moment, crossed herself before rising. "Come in."

The options for visitors were extremely limited. At this hour? Frank, trusted security. Which would probably be bad. Or… "Mary Eunice."

The sweet sister ducked a brief greeting. "Sister Jude. Forgive my intrusion."

"Nothing to forgive. Is everything all right, Sister?"

Mary Eunice's pale cheeks were exceptionally pink and a bit moist. A straight shank of blonde hair (not far from Jude's own color) escaped her wimple and Jude wondered what had her so unsettled. "Yes, of course, Sister!" A cacophanous clap of thunder shook the ramparts at that moment and Eunice muffled a small scream. "Oh!" Her cheeks grew even pinker. "Oh, forgive me, Sister! I'm so sorry for -"

Jude shook her head, a tolerant smile spreading. "Sit down, Mary Eunice." She gestured to a chair near the fire. "I think I know why ya here, now."

The little sister practically scampered to the offered chair, still muttering embarrassedly. "I'm sorry, Sister Jude! I know you've told me the storm is nothing to be scared of, but -"

"But yar still scared." Jude chuckled. She set about putting on a kettle at her little hot plate. "Did ya pray, Sister?"

"I tried," Eunice affirmed. Her hands wrung in her lap. "But the thunder was louder than God's word tonight."

Jude dropped tea bags into two white mugs. Chamomile. "Yar faith will amplify his word, Mary Eunice. You just have ta learn to listen properly."

"I'm sor-"

"Stop it." Jude turned sharply to the young nun. "How many times do I have to tell ya to stop apologizing?"

"I'm sorry!"

A frustrated groan and Jude cast her gaze at the ceiling. Mary Eunice winced and looked to the ceiling, as well. The kettle whistled and she jumped in her seat. "Ah!" The whistle was immediately followed by a sharp crack of lightning and another rumbler and Mary clamped her hands over her face.

Jude shook her head. She pragmatically set about preparing her tea tray with sugar and a little cool creamer from the kitchens. "Here. It's a pleasure to share my evening tea with ya." She set the tray on the ottoman, sliding another wingback a little closer to Mary Eunice. "Distract ya self."

"Thank you, Sister Jude." She shakily made a cup of tea. Watched Jude settle into the other chair. When the elder nun slipped off her shoes, Eunice did, as well. "I appreciate you having me." Jude waved her off. "I can tell you were about to retire for the evening." At this, Jude looked at her quizzically, and Mary gestured to her own head.

"Oh!" Now Jude blushed. An oversight. "No, no, I just...forgot to put it back on." She sipped her too hot tea.

Eunice put hers back on the tray. "I've never seen your hair before."

"Well, I've never seen yars, either."

"I guess we're even, then."

Jude grinned. "No. We're not even, Sister. Because you've seen mine now. This gives you an unfair advantage."

Eunice smiled a little. "Of course. I see what you mean." Uncertainly, hesitantly, her fingers tugged her own wimple. She tucked it into the seat beside herself. Silky straight to Jude's anarchic curls. "Now, we're even."

Jude's smile grew. "Exactly." She set her own tea beside Mary Eunice's and reached into her mane with both hands. Her favorite part of the day: a rough, satisfying scalp scratch.

Eunice gasped, then a genuine laugh. "I do that same thing!" And so she did. "It feels so good."

"A blessing from the Virgin," Jude agreed. "Just being able to scratch ya damn head." Eunice always covered her own mouth if Jude cursed. Which Jude did curse. Frequently. She secretly enjoyed watching her young charge cringe. "Now." Jude tapped Mary Eunice's arm rest. "Tell me how yar day was." She sought to distract, and to test.

"Well." Eunice cleared her throat as if delivering the world's most formal report. Jude leaned on her elbow, amused and entertained. "This morning during devotionals Peter peed in the chapel and Pepper wouldn't stop laughing about it. So I took them both to solitary for a while. I think that was during your meeting with the Monsignor. Then, we went to breakfast, and there were egg shells in my omelette. So I didn't eat it. So I was very hungry at lunch. And then -" a sheepish shrug " - you know what happened at lunch."

Jude knew, but was enjoying this far too much. "Please reiterate. I missed most of the excitement." And honestly, it was good for the novice nun to talk about these things. Toughened her up. 'Builds character,' as Jude's mother used to say.

"Well. Shelly got caught...um…"

Jude's brows rose. "Yes?"

Eyes squinted shut. "Performing an ungodly act on the young man who came to pick up the bread."

"Oral sex," Jude supplied. Eunice crossed herself. Jude continued. "Sistah. If you want to continue this work here after I'm gone, as you say you do -"

"Oh, but Sister Jude you'll never be gone!"

"God takes us all, Eunice. And sooner rather than later he'll take me." The little sister crumbled. Jude ignored. "Point being: you're going to have to be able to handle these situations. To report them properly. And to discipline appropriately."

"Yes, Sister."

"So then what happened?"

"Well. Then you brought Shelly to your office and made me come with you and told me to pick her cane but I didn't pick a big enough one and you said 'Eunice, ya gonna have to do betta than that because this one here might actually enjoy it' which I still don't really understand what that meant because how can someone enjoy being caned?" Jude hid a tightly bemused expression behind her hand. Eunice did a fair impression. "But anyway I did pick a bigger cane and you asked if I wanted to do the honors but I felt sick to my stomach and I ran out into the hallway and on my way downstairs I nearly knocked over the Monsignor and I vomited on his shoes."

Jude shot to attention. She hadn't known that part. "Good God, Mary Eunice! Was it really that bad?"

"No, I hadn't really had that much lunch so it wasn't very chunky."

"Oh, for crying - Not the vomit, Sister! I'm talking about -"

"The Monsignor was very forgiving."

"Of course he was." Jude sighed. "I'm asking if it's really that hard for ya ta tolerate. Sister, spare the rod and spoil the child. These children are already spoiled. Discipline is an important way of bringing them to penitence. Reminding them to turn their eyes to God. D'ya understand?"

"I understand, Sister."

Jude patted Eunice's hands. "Give it time, Mary Eunice. You'll...you'll come around. Find yar inner strength."

"I'll never be as strong as you, Sister Jude."

"Don't say that."

"I'm too soft. Too weak. At my foster home, before Mrs. Barnes brought me to the convent, I accidentally started a fire in the barn. Some cows died. Some baby sheep. I felt so bad, but…" Eunice shook the memory from her gold floss. "Mr. Barnes... He beat me with a belt, and I couldn't sit for a week. I didn't get any better, though. I never found all the eggs, so they would rot in the coops. One time I tried to milk a boy goat and it kicked me in the mouth. They had to pay a dentist a lot of money. Finally, Mr. Barnes said I was just too stupid to keep. And they took me to the Sisters." She shrugged, looking into the fire. "And then years later, you were there. And that's how I knew God had blessed me."

Jude had listened to Mary Eunice's unexpected confession with deepening horror. She took a deep breath and reached for the novice's hand. "I didn't know ya'd suffered so, Mary Eunice. A soul like yars doesn't deserve such treatment."

Eunice clutched the kind hand. "But it was a test, Sister Jude. Remember? You told me so. You said sometimes God tests us. And it's up to us to make ourselves worthy of his best judgment."

"Well, Sister. I'll certainly say you're worthy. Moreso than I am." A soft confession of her own.

"Oh, Sister you're most worthy!" Eunice scooted forward in her seat, refusing to let go Jude's retreating hand. "You taught me so much! You always stood up for me. I'll never forget you protected me when the convent wanted to send me to that mission in Africa and I was so scared because of the lions. And you brought me with you here. You gave me purpose, Sister Jude. And I promise." Her angelic features hardened for just a moment. Jude didn't particularly like it. "I promise you I won't disappoint you. And if God truly finds me worthy he'll help me become as strong as you. As smart and respected. I know I'm stupid now, but -"

"Goddamit, Mary Eunice!" Jude jerked her hand free and stood, frightening the other nun. "Stop fucking calling yourself stupid! I've told ya a hundred times I hate hearing ya say that!"

"I'm sorry, Sister!" From behind her hand. (Jude had cursed twice in a row - one curse the worst one ever, after all, and NOT the F one.)

Jude whirled away, frustrated. "And stop apologizing!"

"I'm -"

Jude's hand clamped over her mouth. "Don't." Mary Eunice's eyes bulged, glistening. She nodded behind Jude's hand. "Listen to me, Mary Eunice. Yeah?" A nod. Jude did not remove her hand. "I made far worse mistakes than you did and I was a grown woman. Understand? You were a child. In many ways, you're still a child. One of God's own purest children. And that's why I wanted ya, Sister. I need ya to balance me. Because they don't respect me, Mary Eunice. They fear me. That's my strength. And it's not always from God. Sometimes…" She swallowed. "Sometimes I think it comes from someplace much, much darker." Finally she took her hand from Eunice's mouth. A roar of wind and thunder accompanied and she stroked Mary's head. "You have yar own strength, little Sister. And it makes me a better person. You understand?"

Eunice nodded, slightly stunned by Jude's outburst. "I think so, Sister."

Jude sat again, tired from the day and the unexpected heaviness of the conversation. She sighed. "It's late."

Eunice nodded and stood abruptly, dropping her wimple and bending to retrieve it. "I should go now."

"Why don't ya stay here, Sister?" Jude looked up at her. "Sleep in my bed. I'll sleep here by the fire. I know ya won't sleep in this storm, Mary Eunice."

Eunice bit her lip, definitely tempted. "I can't ask you to give up your bed, Sister." Truthfully, Jude was stirred. Unsettled by their dialog. Her skeletons peeked from the closet. She doubted she would sleep herself, now. "Sleep with me, Sister Jude!" The invitation so innocent, so innocuous. "We'll both fit. I'm very tiny."

Jude patted Mary's arm, hiding her amusement. "I'm not certain that would be appropriate, Mary Eunice."

"Why not? We'll be much warmer, too! And I don't snore at all."

"Well, what if I do?" Jude asked, a small smile now.

"I'm a heavy sleeper."

Jude sighed. Was it worth argument? Not really. "Fine, Sister." She rose, stretching. "Go get yar nightgown. Ya can't sleep in a habit."

It was visible relief and excitement that sent Mary Eunice skittering in her stockinged feet out the door and down the hall, out of sight. Jude shook her head. Silently prayed for Eunice's discretion and that no one would ever know she'd invited a near-novice into her bed. She took the opportunity to change into her own nightgown - long, white cotton brushing the tops of her feet. Always just remembering a time when she'd slept in satins if anything at all…

Eunice knocked again, softly and unnecessarily. Jude had been ready, and flung her door open, casting a mildly annoyed glance. "Welcome back."

The little sister clutched a tight bundle inside her wimple. "I ran into Frank, so I hid my night clothes, Sister."

"Thank God for small favors."

"I told him we were having tea."

"That's fine, Mary Eunice."

"That's technically not lying, is it, Sister?"

Jude gestured to their discarded tea by the fire. "We did have tea." Mary Eunice trembled relief. "Besides...I'm not sure how Frank might have reacted if you'd told him you were headed up here to sleep with me tonight." She couldn't prevent her throaty chuckle.

Eunice darted into the tiny bathroom to change. "I guess that's true."

Jude flicked off overhead lights, leaving only the lamp on her bedside table lit. Stoked her fire one last time. She turned down the bed's sheets and thick quilts and sat, watched her unlikely bedmate tiptoe barefoot across the cold floor, hissing at the chill until she plopped down beside Jude. Their matching white gowns brushed familiarly. "Thank you again, Sister."

Jude shook her head, wondered if she would ever stop shaking her head with this one. Suddenly, inexplicably, she wrapped the little nun in her arm and kissed the top of her head. "What am I gonna do with ya, Mary Eunice?"

Eunice's hug was warm and purposeful, both arms squeezing Jude's waist. "I don't know, Sister." She mumbled into Jude's shoulder.

Jude settled under blankets and fluffed her pillow. She usually used two, but she'd sacrificed one to her friend this night. Mary Eunice sort of...burrowed into the blankets, snuffling around like a truffle pig until she got just the right spot. Jude bore this well, brow furrowed as it seemed Eunice's 'right spot' was right up against her left hip. A wince when an icy cold foot grazed her calf. But the little sister finally sighed, settled at last. And maybe that was okay, because suddenly peace fell and Jude thought that just perhaps sleep would come. She closed her eyes. Eunice was right. The bed was much warmer this way. And all was so blissfully quiet… Even the storm had dulled to a low, continuous, comforting rumble.

"Sister Jude?"

So much for that. "Yes, Sistah Mary Eunice?"

"What did Shelly mean when she asked if you were going to give her extra licks for swallowing?"

Jude's eyes opened to her ceiling. "Let's...let's talk about that tomorrow, Mary Eunice."

"Okay. Good night, Sister."

"Good night."