Never Again Chapter 1
Post 2x06 "Keep Your Enemies Closer"
Disclaimer: Arrow, not mine.
"Because of the life that I lead, I just think that it's better to not be with someone that I could really care about"
It was 11:42 pm and Felicity tried really hard not snorting out loud, again! The point of the matter was that she misunderstood the sentence. When she first listened to the words coming out from those oh-so-gorgeous lips of his, she thought he was referring to her. Boy was she wrong.
It was quite embarrassing really, thinking that he was referring to her. She asked for a time off of the foundry, to mourn over their never-to-be-had relationship. She arrived at her apartment 6 o'clock on the dot, took a shower, dressed in her oldest pajamas, and after a short trip to the fridge, she lay down to start the moping campaign.
Halfway through her new lovers, Ben & Jerry, she started dissecting his sentence. At first she felt both sadness and happiness. Sadness because they might never be an Olicity in the near future. Happiness because she was flattered, who wouldn't?
But again, halfway through that icy-cold goodness, it was like she had a rush of cold to her brain, which then ignited her little grey cells to start working, at last. "The life that he leads?" she parroted his words. She knew him, all sides of him. Not only that, she was helping him on his dangerous crusade.
She might not be able to use a bow or leap from building to building, but don't let it be said that she did not experience any dangerous situations. On the top of her mind, she was given a beware-of-explosion necklace, had a wonderful one-on-one evening with the huntress, taken to the back of an underground casino for a little tete-a-tete with the boss of said underground casino, faced an earthquake alone whilst being underground, leapt from an airplane and accidentally stepped on a landmine, attacked by wanna-be vigilantes during office hour, and was on a highly dangerous shopping excursion buying the-doll-maker-bait moisturizer.
Having stated all of the above, she reached a conclusion; he definitely was not talking about her! He said that what happened between him and Isabel meant nothing. He was merely explaining that he did not care for Isabel. So while he's still donning the cape, he would only go for women with a one-night-stand nature.
As for woman (future woman who shall not be named yet) that he did care about, he would not start a relationship with her because of the danger he might bring, cause of the life he leads. This of course did not mean Felicity; since she knew firsthand the danger he might and already brought to her life. Either they have a relationship or not, danger was part of the job descriptions. She already accepted that. She might not look it, but she was not a coward.
The knowledge left her feeling bereft. Oliver never did consider her as his could-be someone. It was all in her mind. She created a new world in which Oliver and she cannot be together because of his sense of duty and his need for her safety. The harsh truth was that that "someone" was never Felicity in the beginning.
It was all her fault. Her fault for thinking that his half and sometimes hidden smiles he directed at her meant something. That the amused looks he had given her had a different meaning. That his gentle touches meant anything other than just innocent gestures. Felicity Megan Smoak always learned from her mistakes. Never again would she be stupid enough to think otherwise.
Oliver must be so confused with her behavior. She must rectify the situation first thing in the morning. She will be back to be the best Girl Friday/IT Girl/Arrow Team/Friend he had ever had! That to-do list will be executed tomorrow. Tonight, she will complete the ritual known all around the world for a girl with a broken heart.
Tomorrow will be better. She will close this chapter of her life. She will try to be as happy as she can be. She will open herself to the possibility of another could-be love. She deserves to be loved with as much passion as the love she could give.
She just has to remember her new mantra, never again.
Ellie:
Thank you all for reading!
Please review and share your opinions.
English is not my first language and this is my first fanfic. Please be gentle. ('',)
