Author's Note: written after struggling for fic ideas for the whole day and ending up with 'hey what if steve was thawed earlier and somehow got involved in thor's story' and that led to a series canon divergences ideas of the movies. so yeah, a lot of plots of this story probably had been used in current and older stories, though I am still excited to write it because it will lead to an actual story. there would be two 'parts' of this story, the first one is canon divergence of movies from thor to civil war, while the second part will be a new plot set after ragnarok and ignoring infinity war lol. thor/jane will still be a part of this story, though not enough to warrant a tag because the first part of this story will be mostly from steve's pov. i hope you will enjoy the fic and if anyone is willing to be a beta reader, please contact me! english is hard, you know.
Steve glanced around, wondering if he should stay in the city or if he should go on his journey, visiting other cities. It didn't look like there was anything interesting about New Mexico, and yet he thought he would like this place. The area he was in was not as suffocating as other cities, especially compared to New York. It was also not as modern looking as the other cities he had visited, making him feel more at ease. New York was too overwhelming, he remembered so clearly how it used to look like so the difference was striking.
He sighed, finally concluding that he was tired and that he should stay there for at least a day. He pried his phone from his pocket and sent a message to Fury, informing where he was. He felt like a kid again, having to report where he was to an adult, being watched from far away. He hated that he had to depend on strangers ever since he got thawed. He wished he could just run away, but he couldn't because he had nothing. Everything he had now, even his money, was managed by S.H.I.E.L.D. He knew no one or anything.
It was a compromise. He decided that in order to learn about this new century; he needed to get out, to explore the country and adapted into how different everything was, instead of being holed in an apartment where all he did was learning on how to use gadgets and reading about history. Apparently, the people in the upper positions didn't want to let go of him and Fury's hands were tied. After several attempts at breaking out and running away though, they finally agreed to his demand and let him go on a tour with a motorcycle, as long as he reported once a day.
He was pretty sure he was being followed, but he still reported. He tried hard to think all of this was not really a big deal, that they were just looking out for him even though he knew they would want something from him. He waited for an answer, getting lost in his own maze of mind and forgetting the cup of tea he had ordered.
He was taken out of his reverie when he heard something broke, making him almost jump. His heart raced and his body went frigid—maybe it's a little pathetic how easily surprised by little sounds, now. He looked around again, finding the others surprised, too. He heard a woman talking loudly, turning his attention there. The woman was scolding a man with long blond hair for breaking a mug on purpose. He watched, observing because he had nothing to do. The man seemed to not understand what he did wrong, which was weird because in what kind of place breaking something was normal?
He ended up studying the man, speculating why the man seemed out-of-place even though he looked normal. The way he talked, some words he spoke, felt foreign. His accent—didn't sound British, but Steve was sure he was not from here. Steve shook his head, wondering if he was creepy for observing a stranger.
His phone beeped, notifying him of a reply from Fury. He frowned as he read the text because Fury was telling him that a S.H.I.E.L.D team was coming to New Mexico to check out an unmovable hammer and asked him if there was anything he needed so the team can bring it to him. He didn't reply right away, wondering if he should cancel his 5 minutes old plan and ran away as far as possible from there. But then he suddenly missed his shield, unable to take it with him on his journey because it would be suspicious. It was the only thing that came along with him from the past. He bit his lip and typed out his reply.
Steve managed to book a room in a low-rent hotel near to the little diner he visited earlier. He went to his room and put down his stuff before deciding to lie down and take a little rest. His shield was on the way, along with a S.H.I.E.L.D team and Steve said he would go to them to check his shield. He was not planning to bring it with him, he just needed to see and touch it.
After a while he finally got up again, deciding to buy snacks in case he got hungry late at night. His metabolism still working too well even when his body has slept for almost 70 years. He went to the nearest mini market and was greeted with an argument between the cashier and one customer. He recognized the customer as the man who broke the mug at the diner earlier.
"I am sorry, Sir, you have to pay for that."
"How do I pay for this?"
"Using money?"
Steve went past them, going to the snacks and bread area to choose which ones he should buy. He tried to focus on choosing the snacks, but he could still hear them talking, though.
"I don't have money."
"Then you can't take this away."
"Is there anything I can trade for this?"
"Hmm, money?"
"I don't have money."
"Then you can't have this."
Steve shook his head a little because the conversation went nowhere, and the cashier slowly grew frustrated. He picked up more snacks, deciding that he should just buy several days' worth of snacks, and then went to the cashier. They still argued, now the man really tried to trade anything for the mug he was holding. Not only the cashier, the man slowly started to look frustrated, too. But he seemed so earnest and Steve thought maybe he really didn't have anything to pay for the mug.
Steve stepped forward, put his snacks on the table and said, "I will pay for that mug and these."
The man frowned, clutching his mug possessively and claimed, "This is mine."
"Yes, you can officially have that after I pay for it," Steve explained and then turned to the cashier, "How much?"
The cashier scanned the mug and then all the snacks before finally answering, "That will be 20 dollars."
"Here you go, can I have a plastic bag?" Steve handed the cashier the money he already put out of his wallet and then took the mug and handed it to the man, "And here's your mug."
The man looked very confused and Steve waited as the cashier put all his snacks into a bag and then handed it to him. He started to walk away from the market and the man followed him, asking, "Do I need to pay you for this?"
"No, you don't need to," Steve responded, making the man looked very grateful. Steve wondered if he was wasting money as the money he has now was not even his but S.H.I.E.L. D's. He stopped walking on the sidewalk and looked at the man, "But you really don't have money, right?"
He wanted to make sure he didn't waste his money on a liar.
It was only now, when they were close to each other, he realized that he was looking at the man's shoulder instead of his face, making him realize that the man was much bigger and taller than him. It was weird, he barely met anyone who was taller than him after he got the serum. He ended up having to look up a little to see eye to eye to him, to see if he was being honest.
"No," The man answered, "Do you know where I might acquire a horse?"
"A...horse?" Steve repeated, taken aback by the question. Why would someone need a horse? He tried to think if he had seen any horse around and on his way here, but he couldn't recall if he had seen any, so he shrugged and answered, "I don't think you can get a horse from around here."
The man looked disappointed, but he lightened when he saw something behind Steve.
"Ah, please wait," the man said, patting Steve's shoulder before walking away to approach a woman who Steve recognized as the owner of the diner. Steve realized that the mug was probably to replace the one the man broke. He thought the owner asked for a replacement, but as she looked surprised that the man gave him a new mug and seemed grateful for the new mug. So, the man did it on his own accord and when he said he didn't know that it was not okay to break something to show gratefulness, he really meant it.
"That's nice of you," Steve commented when the man came back to him. He was glad that the person he was helping seemed like a nice guy.
"Huh?"
"Nothing," Steve said, changing the topic. He looked at the man, wondering why the man seemed as out of place as him, "So...I assume you are not from here?"
"No, I am not from here, I am from a distant place. I am...displaced," the man said, contorting his face in a way that told Steve that he didn't even really understand his situation. Steve could relate to that feeling.
"Oh, I am from a faraway place, too. Do you have any place to stay?"
If he was from a faraway place and didn't even have money, how big was a chance of him having a place here? Unless he was here with his family. Suddenly, he wondered where the people who were with the man earlier went. They couldn't just leave him here, right?
"No, but I need to go to retrieve something of mine. I know where to go, I just need a horse, so I can go."
Oh right, they were talking about a horse earlier. Somehow, Steve got sidetracked.
"Uhm, we don't use a horse to travel, not anymore."
Where did this man come from? Where in the world was a horse still a normal transportation? Even in Steve's era, they used cars. Steve's current knowledge of the new century was not enough to predict where this man was from.
"Then what can I use?"
The man looked so lost, Steve wanted to pat him. The man was even more lost in this world that Steve was; it seemed. He never thought he would find someone with less knowledge about this world than he was, making him felt even more curious about who this man was and making him felt the need to help the man. He knew too well how it felt like to know basic things that everyone else knew.
"A motorcycle. Cars. These are very expensive, though, if you have no money you can't get them."
"Oh. Then I really need help to travel to that place."
Steve was curious now and wondered, "Where do you need to go? What do you need to retrieve?"
"Fifty miles west of here. I need to retrieve and reclaim my hammer, Mjölnir."
A hammer? Fifty miles west of here? That was exactly where Fury told him to go to get his shield. Was the hammer this man talking about was the same unmovable hammer people were talking about? If that was so, Steve could help this man if that hammer was really his. He wondered if he could take the man there along with him or if he needed to ask for permissions first. He had a feeling that he would be denied, though.
"I might be able to help you," Steve declared and cursed himself at his inability to walk away from the possibility of helping someone. It didn't help that the man lighted up and smiled so widely upon hearing what Steve declared.
"Really?"
"Yes." Steve answered, he decided that he needed to ask questions first before he helped a stranger again, "But you need to answer my questions first and convince me before I help you."
He hoped that he wouldn't regret this.
Thor stared at the man who helped him, wondering if this man would require something from him after helping him. But he had said nothing about that, even after Thor refused to let the man bought a meal for him, not wanting to be in debt more especially if this man would bring him to his hammer. He really would want to try eating what Darcy called pop-tarts again, perhaps later.
"So, what's your name?" the man asked, almost finishing eating his food in a matter of minutes.
Thor wondered whether he should answer the question of no, if he should explain everything as it was. Being puzzling and secretive didn't help him with Jane Foster, leaving him more stranded and lost, not knowing how to navigate this realm more. Perhaps he was fortuitous that he met this mortal.
"I am Thor, Thor Odinson," he finally introduced himself. He wished that this meeting would go better than his previous meetings, that he wouldn't end up in strange places again. He disliked the feeling of being lost, the feeling of being someone who knew nothing.
"I am Steve," the mortal finally introduced himself and it felt wonderful to finally know his name, though it was curious how he didn't tell Thor his family name, "So, you said you are from a distant place, where exactly it is?"
"Do you know of a place named Asgard?" Thor asked though he wondered if it would be dangerous to tell this Steve about his home.
The man shook his head, making Thor felt disappointed, "No."
"I am from there."
Steve frowned and then take something from somewhere Thor couldn't see, something square and played with it. Thor had seen it several times during his stay here, but he couldn't remember what it was called. It was not something that was common in Asgard. He waited for Steve to say something, but Steve kept looking at the thing and frowned even more because whatever it was he saw on that.
"Asgard? Uhm...Asgard is from a mythology. Part of Yggdrasil?"
Thor smiled. Whatever that thing was, it was telling Steve about Asgard. Perhaps it knew how to go back there too?
"Yes!"
"And Thor is a god of thunder," Steve said. He finally looked at Thor again, his expression was full of doubt and confusion.
"Yes! So, you Midgardians do have tales about us!"
That was a delight to know, that the tale of Asgard was known among other realms. Though now, Steve was giving the same look other people gave him before, a look that told Thor that Steve might think of him as a madman. Thor supposed he should prepare himself to run away.
"So, you are saying that you are a god and a prince of Asgard."
"I am."
Steve raised his eyebrow, "Can you summon lightning then?"
Thor fretted. His hand clutched around nothing, really wishing he had Mjölnir with him. He was certain that having it would make it easier for him the deal being sent here. He needed to go there and pick up the hammer. At least, he knew no one else would be able to pick up the hammer, so he didn't have to worry about it getting misplaced somewhere else.
"I can. But...not now. I need to reclaim my hammer, Mjölnir, it can help me summon my powers and show you what I am capable of," Thor explained, knowing he sounded desperate. He was desperate. He wanted to come back to Asgard, wanted to explain his side of the story properly. He still felt it was unfair for Odin to banish him.
"I see," Steve nodded but still looked unconvinced, "Please wait, I need to check on some things."
Thor nodded too, and Steve seemed to be reading something on the box of wonder. Thor was quite intrigued with this mortal—he felt different from the other mortals around them and Thor felt a kinship with him even though they met not long ago. He just could not place what it was he felt kinship about.
"How about you? Where are you from?" Thor wondered out loud. If Steve would really help him, then he wanted to know the good man.
Steve looked up at him, seemed to think about something. There was a pause before he hesitantly answered, "The forties."
It was Thor's turn to frown, trying to remember if he knew of the place. He had to admit that his knowledge about Midgard was very limited. He apologized and admitted, "Ah, I have never heard of such a place."
"Yeah, it's really far from here," Steve shrugged, "I am travelling. Trying to live my life again."
"Trying to live your life again?" Thor repeated because Steve made it sound like he had lost his world, once.
"Yeah, I was in a war but now the war is over, I need to adjust."
Ah, now Thor could recognize what kind of kinship he felt towards the man. He could always recognize a fellow warrior, even if it took a while for him to realize. For a Midgardian, Steve was well-built, it was no wonder he was a warrior here. It was great to meet someone who was alike to him.
"You were in a war? Then you are a fellow warrior like me! How many wars have you been involved in?" Thor asked, curiosity taking over him. Steve flinched a little and Thor wondered if he asked a forbidden question or if Steve regretted disclosing that information to Thor. Thor hoped that he didn't overstep his boundary.
"Just one," Steve ended up answering while fiddling with the box, looking at the outside. He looked downcast and Thor wondered if the war brought Steve pain or if he lost in the war.
He couldn't help but ask, "Did you win?"
Steve shrugged, "Well, people said we won."
"That's great then, but why do you look so sad about it?"
Steve smiled, but it was such a bitter smile that Thor felt a little hurt for him. It was clear that Thor was digging something he probably shouldn't have, that he might have brought bad memories for him. Thor didn't really understand though. A war won should be celebrated, a triumph. He had always felt so proud about winning a good fight, proud of proving himself as a capable warrior.
Steve answered, "Because personally, it doesn't really feel like a win."
"But you won."
"But I also lost a lot to wars. I lost my family, friends, and, in a way, I even lost my own life."
Oh. Thor could understand that. It was just that he had never lost so much during wars, his friends were a capable warrior who always survived. When he did lose a fellow warrior, he mourned and felt the loss deeply, so he at least knew how grief felt like. There was no event that had made him felt like he had lost his life, though, and perhaps that was his weakness but also his strength. This was the most lost he had ever felt in his life.
"Do you regret it, then?" he wondered. He wondered what a war meant to people on this realm, if the way Midgard perceived a war was different to how Asgard perceived it.
"I wish that there are no wars anymore, that all people can be free. But, if it means saving lives, if it was the right thing to do, I will do it again.," Steve said with no doubt, despite the sadness and grief that were clear on his face. He sighed, "I am sorry, I am suddenly dumping all of this on you."
Why was he apologizing even though Thor was the one who asked the questions? Thor shook his head and apologized earnestly, "No, I apologize for reminding you of your grief."
Steve said nothing, just taking a sip of his drink. He stared at Thor for several seconds, seemingly compartmentalizing. After that, he decided, "Anyway, I will bring you to your hammer."
Thor was taken aback even though he had been hoping that Steve would help him. He didn't know what made Steve finally came to that decision, but he didn't want to question that too much in case Steve changed his mind.
"Truly?"
"Let's go."
Steve stood up and Thor followed him to the counter to pay for the meals and then went out of the diner. Steve turned to him and said, "Please wait here, I need to get my key first. I will come back, I promise."
Before Steve could leave him, a car stopped in front of them and Thor's eyes widen when he recognized it and when Jane Foster showed, yelling at him, "Hey, you still need a lift?"
"Jane Foster!" Thor exclaimed, feeling joy at seeing her again, "You can take me there?"
"Yes, I will take you there," Jane agreed. She looked at Steve, who was looking at them both in confusion, and wondered, "Who is that?"
"This is my new friend, Steve. He is going to take me there," Thor introduced them.
Steve waved his hand, "Uhm. Hi."
"Ah, so you don't need my ride anymore?" Jane frowned, seemingly disappointed. Thor wondered what made her changed her mind about helping him, but he was glad she changed her mind. Now he was confused though, because there were two people willing to help him and he didn't know what to do.
Thankfully, Steve decided for him.
"Oh, I guess you can go with her, you will feel more comfortable riding a car. I have a motorcycle."
Thor nodded, a little hesitantly opened the car's door and climbed up. He looked at Steve and said, "Thank you for offering your help."
Steve nodded, "It's alright. You should go before it's too dark."
"Farewell, Steve."
"Farewell."
When Fury said S.H.I.E.L.D. was checking out the hammer, he expected them to really just checking it out, not building a whole a camp with guards everywhere to inspect it. He probably shouldn't be so surprised, but he still didn't know everything about S.H.I.E.L.D. and what they were capable of. After the surprise, he started to wonder if Thor had arrived and how the hell he was going to enter here and reclaim his hammer. That became his first important question, replacing the question about how Thor would get the hammer if it was unmovable. That became the second question.
He went here not that long after Thor and Jane went. He didn't see Thor and Jane anywhere, but he didn't have time to search for them before Agent Coulson greeted him and brought him inside. There were many people there and Coulson brought him to a discreet area where only high-level agents were allowed. Apparently, not many people knew Captain America was alive now. He was glad for that but also wondered if one day, people would know and he had to become Captain America again instead of just Steve Rogers.
Steve looked around, wondering why they needed to have a discreet area here. He was lucky that he arrived before the rain poured. He could hear thunders in the distance and he was not sure if he could handle driving a motorcycle in the rain amidst thunders.
Coulson, who was getting his shield, coughed to get his attention and made Steve turned to him. He handed him his shield, looking giddy holding it in his hands. It was weird seeing an agent like him being flustered, Steve was used to the stoic agents and soldiers. And apparently, Agent Coulson was not usually like this, only in front of Steve, which made him feel weirder.
"Here's your shield, Captain."
Steve accepted the shield, putting it on his hand. He felt a little at home at least with the shield; it felt like a part of him sometimes. He smiled gratefully, and then finally asked, "What are you doing, here, exactly?"
"We are just investigating the hammer," Agent Coulson said, smoothly. Steve had a feeling they wouldn't tell him much, after all, he was not an agent. Fury tried to include him in some things and probably had plans for him when Steve was ready, but Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D itself had a ton of secrets. Steve didn't need to know them well to know that.
"That hammer, it's really unmovable?"
"Yes, many people had tried to pick it up and failed, not even a truck could move it," Coulson explained, "Do you want to try picking it up?"
"Oh no, Sir, no," Steve refused in a hurry even though he doubted that Coulson was really offering. He was not interested, anyway, if a truck couldn't move it, why would he? That would be fruitless. Before Coulson could say anything, he continued with, "Thank you for bringing my shield, I will stay here for a while and then return it to you."
He had to wait until the rain stopped pouring anyway before he could come back to the hotel.
"Take all the time you need."
Steve nodded and once again said, "Thank you."
Coulson looked lost on what to say and they just stood awkwardly, facing each other. Steve was not sure what to say too, so he wished that Coulson would say something. Thankfully, Coulson retreated while muttering, "I…need to go, if there was anything you need you can call me."
"Okay," Steve said. When Coulson was gone, he felt relieved at being left alone. He touched his shield and feeling lost. After he was done with his tour, what should he do? He still felt doubts about joining S.H.I.E.L.D, his only motivation for that was because Peggy founded it. But was that enough? If he didn't join, what should he do? Maybe it was something that should be talked about with his therapist, though he hadn't seen her since long ago and they only met twice before Steve ran away for his tour. He was still struggling to convince himself that he was okay and just needed time to adjust. He just needed time.
Thunder suddenly stroke loudly and Steve threw himself to the floor and hid behind the shield, surprised at the sound. His heart raced in an instant and his mind flashed back to the explosions in France, to the time when a bomb exploded. He shut his eyes and flinched, making himself smaller when he heard another thunder, lips praying for it to end. He breath ragged until he had almost a hard time breathing. He tried to calm himself, fully realizing that he was safe and not in the war, though his mind kept replaying the scenes he saw and his body seemed to forget.
He let go of his shield, trying to absorb his surrounding, trying to convince himself that he was safe, that he was just surprised. He was dizzy, his sight swirling, and for a moment he was grateful that no one was around to see him like this. He sat, put his legs up to his chest and hug it, burying his head in between his arms.
Get it together, Rogers. Get it together.
He didn't know how long it took before his heart raced at a normal pace and he could breathe easily again. It felt like a long time before he stopped feeling so dizzy. It was not the first time this happened, but it still wasn't easy. Though at least he knew a little what to do with himself.
As he pulled himself together, he heard a loud wail that made him get up. He looked outside as the room he was in could see where the hammer was, and he was certain that the wail came from there. He could see clearly again and he didn't need time to see that it was Thor wailing in front of the hammer, somehow managing to get inside despite the many guards.
Thor sounded so grieved, it hurt Steve to hear.
To Be Continued
