~When Everything is Breaking Apart~
My life was whole and complete when I was living with my big brother.
I believed it would always be this way.
But it started to fall apart when I was in middle school.
It began with my brother's death.
A fake smile was always on my face after meeting Tatsuki.
She protected me from forces outside,
but she didn't know about the storm waiting idly inside of me.
Then I met Ichigo.
He always had a frown on and got into fights,
but he was still kind.
I fell in love with him.
But I knew that he didn't love me.
It stung but I still smiled.
Then I discovered my power.
I trained so I could go to the Soul Society with Ichigo, Uryu, Chad, and Mr. Yoruichi.
We went to save a death sentenced Rukia,
the girl who I envied.
For she was the one who has Ichigo's heart in her hands.
She was my friend,
yet she was also my rival.
The cracks started to widen and pieces fell into darkness,
never to return when I caught a glance at the goodbye smile that two had before we headed home.
Then Grimmjow and his "friends" came.
Then Ichigo left to become stronger.
Then I learned that I wouldn't fight in the war to protect my hometown.
Ulquiorra came to take me to Aizen.
I saw it as a chance to finally protect those who I love.
But they still came to get me.
Ichigo, Chad, Uryu, Renji, and Rukia.
I had always had faith in them
But this time I wasn't sure anymore that they would make it.
But I kept my doubt buried.
I got to see Ichigo again when Grimmjow "kidnapped" me.
A large cracked piece of my heart disappeared when I stared into those lifeless eyes.
I healed Ichigo and found relief that he was alive again.
Then he found against Grimmjow and Nnorita.
Captain Kenpachi and Yachiru came and ended the last battle.
I was running to Ichigo when a man appeared in front of me.
He was an espada and took me back to the place where I was taken from.
Ulquiorra tried to kill me at Aizen's order.
Ichigo saved me again.
A small bit broke away again.
Wasn't I suppose to be the one protecting him and everyone else,
not the other way around?
My saving knight unleashed his dark side,
a side that scared me.
When Ulquiorra turned into dust,
the signal that the battle has ended,
Ichigo turned back the one I grew to love.
My heart ached to feel whole again,
to love Ichigo with all my heart,
but most of my heart was in a never ending pit of black and was unreachable.
I still smiled for Ichigo after the Winter War,
even if he wasn't a soul reaper anymore.
Even if he still had feelings for Rukia.
The petite girl actually came back a few months later for him.
Ichigo got his powers back and the two started to go out, soon getting ready to marry.
I watched quietly from the sideline.
I soon found myself in this white padded room that I'm still in today.
I'm 26 now.
Not even my Shun Shun Rikka fairies can help me get out.
People think I'm crazy.
They think that I leave scratches on my skin because I feel no more pain.
I leave the lines of crimson in my skin to feel something, anything, everything.
They want that sweet, bubbly, sweet hearted girl that I once was ten long years ago back.
She can never come back to the surface.
When they ask me what happened to that lovesick teenage girl,
I smile sadly and reply,
"Everything fell apart in front of her eyes and her heart couldn't take it, so it broke into pieces and fell into never ending darkness."
