Something Different : A Vocaloid Talk Show!

I suck at summaries. Yaddayaddayadda. And don't blame me if my humour sucks too. Blame fishballs. And onions. The green ones. FYI, I talk a lot of crap. Vocaloids don't own me. I did. Oops. Blegh, you geddit. Oh yeah, I left the '123' out from my name. And this is just me being a forever loner and bored. BTW, HAVE A MEOW-Y DAY EVERYONE! *LE FLAILS*

STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY: LENYAN IS NOT MY REAL NAME.

LeNyan: *high, squeaky voice* Hello, minna! Welcome to the... Tom & Jerry SHOW!

*AUDIENCE APPLAUDS*

LeNyan: Okay, so in this show we will have chit-chats with the biggest, and hottest popstar in da woooooooooooorrrrrrrrlllllll lllddddddd! *waves chair up and down* We have RIN! We have LEN! We have MIKU! We have MeiKaiGak! And we also have, the most popular, well-known, and well-loved by the TunaVille peeps artist of da year...wait for it... TAKOLUKAAAA!

*CROWD CHEERS*

LeNyan: Before we start this talk show, I would like to deeply apologize with pure sincerity of my... *slowly puts down chair* ... Bad behavior. Actually, something happened over the weekend which made me... Is that a butterfly?

*AUDIENCE LOOK TO THE RIGHT*

LeNyan: Poor Buttie. Let's hope he'll find his owner soon. Okay! Back to the main topic! So who do you want to come out to the stage first?!

Guy No. 1: MIIKKKKUUUUUU!

Dude No.3: MMEEEEIIIIKKKOO-CCHHHHHAAAAANNN!

Unicorn No.16: BAAANNNAAAANAAA!

LeNyan: Okay, okay... We get it. Shut up now. *smiles* Now, *looks at little card* we shall invite the newest Utauloid of all, HONOKA MIRAI-CHAN!

Crowd: *whispering* Who the fak is that?!

LeNyan: Now, now. Calm down. And, please, no swearing *looks at little card again* Oh wait. I'm sorry peeps! That was a mistake. *muttering* isn't the initials H.M. stand for Honoka Mirai?

*AUDIENCE SWEARS AGAIN*

LeNyan: Okay then, now let us invite... HATSUNE MIKU-SAN!

*Miku appears on stage, waving like a supestah. Before she could even sit down...*

LeNyan: Miku-san! You are the biggest pop star right?

Miku: Uhh... That's what they called me... Nice meeting-

LeNyan: GREAT! Cause I'm your No.1 fan! Everybodeh gimme a "whoop whoop!"

*CROWD WHOOP-WHOOPED*

LeNyan: That's it! Miku, why don't you sit down? You can do that without being asked right? *laughs maniacaly*

Miku: Well, you interrupted me when-

LeNyan: I did?

Miku: There you go agai-

LeNyan: Really?

Miku: *pissed* Yes! Can't I just finish my senten-

LeNyan: So how many songs have you sang?

Miku: *blinks* at least more than 5000? Sorry, I can't remem-

LeNyan: REALLY?! How about music videos?

Miku: Uhh-

LeNyan: Wait, lemme guess. 50?

Miku: *ultra-pissed* I'm outta here. *walks- no, stomped towards backstage*

LeNyan: And there goes the teal-haired supastah. A big clap for her everyone!

*AUDIENCE CLAPPED*

LeNyan: As you all know, which I think you don't, I am a big fan of Kagamine Len. *stands on chair* SO NOW, LET ME PRESENT YOU...

Audience: LEN! LEN! LEN! LEENNN!

LeNyan: KAGAMINE RIIIINNNNN!

*CROWD WTF-ED*

*Rin shows up, smiling elegantly*

LeNyan: So Rin, how do you got into Crypton Media Future? *neko face*

Rin: Oh, hi there LeNyan. Well, regarding that question, it's kinda an interesting story-

LeNyan: *drinks coffee* And it sure was.

Rin: *stares at LeNyan unbelievably* uhh... I haven't finished talking-

LeNyan: So I heard you and Len were twins.

Rin: Yes, we wer- Wait, what's with the past tens-?!

LeNyan: *sigh* Oh really. So what is he like?

Rin: Well, Len is a nice person. He's kind, understanding and a gentle guy.

LeNyan: *nosebleeds* KYAHAAHA! REALLY?! What does he like to eat besides bananas?

Rin: *uncomfortable* Um... He likes sweet stuff and- *realizes* Hey! Isn't this supposed to be about me?! Why is Len-?!

LeNyan: I'm afraid that's all about the time we have for Rin today. Goodbye! *waves at Rin, dismissing her without looking at her* YOSH! WE SHALL NOW INVITE KAGAMINE LEN-KUUN!

*Len walks casually, hands in his pockets*

*AUDIENCE BECOMES CRAZY PEOPLE*

LeNyan: Uhh... Rin? You can, like, go away now. Len needs to sit. Hasta la vista, baby.

Rin: *glares at LeNyan and walks away, still glaring*

LeNyan: Oh glob! I can't believe I'm standing in front of THE Kagamine Len!

Len: *laughs* Of course. Nice to meet you too.

LeNyan: *sits down and takes out phone*

*AWKWARD SILENCE. A LONG ONE.*

Len: *laughs nervously* uhh... LeNyan-san? May I ask? What are you doing?

LeNyan: Oh me? I'm updating my Twitter account. Don't you have one Len? *realizes and smiles sheepishly* umm... Len?

Len: Yes?

LeNyan: GIMME YOUR TWITTER ACCOUNT OR I CALL BEAT THE CRAP OUTTA YOU, YOU *censored* DUMBASS.

Len: Whaa?! Why- Isn't this a talk show?! *looks at LeNyan neko face* Okay FINE.

*A FEW FRICKIN SECONDS LATER*

LeNyan: EVERYONE! I GOT LEN'S TWITTER ACCOUNT! WHO WANTS IT? I'LL SELL IT FOR 100 BUCKS!

*AUDIENCE CHEERED AGAIN*

Len: *gasps* HEY! What are you doing! That's so low man!

LeNyan: I'm sorry. Okay back to where we were. So Len, how long were you in Crypton?

Len: *calmed down* I'm not sure actually, 10 years maybe? *hand on his chin*

LeNyan: Oh really? Ok next question.

Len:*smiles* Fire away.

LeNyan: Len-kun, can I rape you?

*THE STADIUM SUDDENLY IS OVERFLOWED WITH BLOOD*

Len: *shock* BAKA LENYAN! WTH are you talking about?! Don't go off saying things like that! *blushes*

LeNyan: Aww, look everybody, he's blushing.

*EVERBODY AWW-ED*

Len: Oh come on! *Still blushing*

LeNyan: So, anyway, Len-kun- *pooff*

*SUDDENLY A PUFF OF SMOKE COVERS THE STAGE. WHEN THE SMOKE FINALLY RESIDED, LENYAN (ME!) WAS NOWHERE TO BE SEEN*

Len: *gasps*

Audience: *gasps*

Unicorn: *gasps* MOTHER OF MAIDEN SHE'S GONE!

*AUDIENCE STARES AT LEN*

Len: Whut? You guys are suspecting me? Oh great. What happened to my loyal fans?

*A VOICE SUDDENLY APPEARED OUT OF THE BLUE*

Voice: 'Tis I, who have solved many crimes using magic, and now, I have saved a supestah from getting raped by a perverted monkey. *laughs madly*

Len: Who are you?

Unicorn: OH MY GOSH THE SMOKE HAS SPOKEN!

Len: *looks at Unicorn* SHUT THE HELL UP UNICORN.

*THE SMOKE REAPPEARS AND CLOUDED THE STAGE ONCE AGAIN. WHEN THE SMOKE STARTED TO FADE AWAY, THIS TIME, A BLUE FIGURE WHO WAS WEARING A WHITE CAPE WAS STANDING ON LENYAN'S SEAT*

Dude: OH MY GLOB IT'S MAGIC KAITO EVERYONE! MAGIC KAAIIITTOOOO!

Len: *snaps his head at the direction the voice came from* UNICORN, SHUT- Oh, its the dude. Sorry, we're cool.

Kaito: Yes, 'tis I, Kaito, who came to save the damsel in distress, Rin! And to prevail justice!

Len: Uhh, dude? You kinda got the wrong person here. I ain't Rin. And whut kind of justice? And where's LeNyan?!

*CROWD AWW-ED AGAIN*

Kaito: Hey, hey, hey. One question at a time dude! First, where is Rin? Second, this is supposed to be my section now and third... IDK.

*LENYAN APPEARS FROM BACKSTAGE, HOLDING A BANANA.*

Len: *sweats* I-is that a banana?

LeNyan: *talking with mouth full* yeah, what's with it?

Voice: LEN! THERE YOU ARE! I WAS LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU!

*THE OWNER OF THE VOICE SUDDENLY APPEARS FROM BACKSTAGE*

Len: *gasps* K-kuroneko?! *sweats nervously*

96neko: *Jumps on Len* Yeap, it's moi. Come on! I need help with the tapiocas at Taiwan! *pulls Len away from the stage*

*ANOTHER AWKWARD SILENCE*

Kaito: *pissed* HEY, HEY, hey... Isn't it MY turn now?!

LeNyan: Aw man, already? *swallows banana* okay, everyone. Please welcome KaiMeiGak. *I'm saying this in a boring tone*

Kaito: *waves superiorly*

*CROWD CHEERS. SOME EVEN FAINTED*

LeNyan: *looks at audience* Wha?! You guys, really? And I thought we were friends! After all we've been through... *sobs*

KaiMeiGak: Lolwhut? Do you really hate us that much?!

*AUDIENCE BOOS LENYAN*

LeNyan: Oh come on! FINE, fine. Okay, okay, so- *looks at Meiko* uhh... What's with the Santa outfit?

Meiko: IT'S CHRISTMAAAAAAAAAAASSSS~!

LeNyan: O-okay... And Gakupo? Why are you half naked?

Gakupo: I'm just back from a *censored* club, baby!

*SILENCE*

LeNyan: *takes out phone* yes, producer? It's me. Rate this talk show M please. We have a stripping eggplant here.

Kaito: *suddenly begins talking in an unknown language*

LeNyan: uhh... I guess that's all for them... GIVE 'EM A BIG CLAP EVERYONEE!

KaiMeiGak: *disappears by falling down the stage*

LeNyan: And now, we have the last person to stand on this stage today... Who do you think it is?

*DRUM ROLLS. AUDIENCE CHEERED*

Crowd: LUKA! LUKA! LUKAA!

LeNyan: You're correct! We have Luka just backstage... *cheers*... Before she ate too much tuna and got a stomachache.

*CROWD BOOS*

LeNyan: Okay, okay, calm down peeps. At least we have TAKOLUKAAAAA! A ROUND OF APPLAUSE EVERYONE!

TakoLuka: Nyan~

LeNyan: Awww~ how adorable! Can you speak Chinese?

TakoLuka: Nyan~

LeNyan: *nosebleeds and faints*

*AWKWARD SILENCE AGAIN*

Kaito: She fainted.

Miku: So now we don't have a host.

Rin: Yeah we don't. Hey have you guys seen Len? I need him to carry the road rollers.

Guy: A DUDE RAPED HIM!

Meiko: I suggest we partaay!

Audience: WOOOHHHOOOO!

AND THE NIGHT ENDED WITH UNICORNS FLYING OVER THE RAINBOWS. AND, OH, HAPPY NEW YEAR.

THERE. I KNOW. IT'S STUPID. I JUST, LIKE, TYPED ANYTHING THAT COMES OUT FROM MY MIND. MY FRIEND DARED ME TO UPLOAD THIS. NASTY REVIEWS ARE WELCOMED. HEE HEE.