Something Different : A Vocaloid Talk Show!
I suck at summaries. Yaddayaddayadda. And don't blame me if my humour sucks too. Blame fishballs. And onions. The green ones. FYI, I talk a lot of crap. Vocaloids don't own me. I did. Oops. Blegh, you geddit. Oh yeah, I left the '123' out from my name. And this is just me being a forever loner and bored. BTW, HAVE A MEOW-Y DAY EVERYONE! *LE FLAILS*
STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY: LENYAN IS NOT MY REAL NAME.
LeNyan: *high, squeaky voice* Hello, minna! Welcome to the... Tom & Jerry SHOW!
*AUDIENCE APPLAUDS*
LeNyan: Okay, so in this show we will have chit-chats with the biggest, and hottest popstar in da woooooooooooorrrrrrrrlllllll lllddddddd! *waves chair up and down* We have RIN! We have LEN! We have MIKU! We have MeiKaiGak! And we also have, the most popular, well-known, and well-loved by the TunaVille peeps artist of da year...wait for it... TAKOLUKAAAA!
*CROWD CHEERS*
LeNyan: Before we start this talk show, I would like to deeply apologize with pure sincerity of my... *slowly puts down chair* ... Bad behavior. Actually, something happened over the weekend which made me... Is that a butterfly?
*AUDIENCE LOOK TO THE RIGHT*
LeNyan: Poor Buttie. Let's hope he'll find his owner soon. Okay! Back to the main topic! So who do you want to come out to the stage first?!
Guy No. 1: MIIKKKKUUUUUU!
Dude No.3: MMEEEEIIIIKKKOO-CCHHHHHAAAAANNN!
Unicorn No.16: BAAANNNAAAANAAA!
LeNyan: Okay, okay... We get it. Shut up now. *smiles* Now, *looks at little card* we shall invite the newest Utauloid of all, HONOKA MIRAI-CHAN!
Crowd: *whispering* Who the fak is that?!
LeNyan: Now, now. Calm down. And, please, no swearing *looks at little card again* Oh wait. I'm sorry peeps! That was a mistake. *muttering* isn't the initials H.M. stand for Honoka Mirai?
*AUDIENCE SWEARS AGAIN*
LeNyan: Okay then, now let us invite... HATSUNE MIKU-SAN!
*Miku appears on stage, waving like a supestah. Before she could even sit down...*
LeNyan: Miku-san! You are the biggest pop star right?
Miku: Uhh... That's what they called me... Nice meeting-
LeNyan: GREAT! Cause I'm your No.1 fan! Everybodeh gimme a "whoop whoop!"
*CROWD WHOOP-WHOOPED*
LeNyan: That's it! Miku, why don't you sit down? You can do that without being asked right? *laughs maniacaly*
Miku: Well, you interrupted me when-
LeNyan: I did?
Miku: There you go agai-
LeNyan: Really?
Miku: *pissed* Yes! Can't I just finish my senten-
LeNyan: So how many songs have you sang?
Miku: *blinks* at least more than 5000? Sorry, I can't remem-
LeNyan: REALLY?! How about music videos?
Miku: Uhh-
LeNyan: Wait, lemme guess. 50?
Miku: *ultra-pissed* I'm outta here. *walks- no, stomped towards backstage*
LeNyan: And there goes the teal-haired supastah. A big clap for her everyone!
*AUDIENCE CLAPPED*
LeNyan: As you all know, which I think you don't, I am a big fan of Kagamine Len. *stands on chair* SO NOW, LET ME PRESENT YOU...
Audience: LEN! LEN! LEN! LEENNN!
LeNyan: KAGAMINE RIIIINNNNN!
*CROWD WTF-ED*
*Rin shows up, smiling elegantly*
LeNyan: So Rin, how do you got into Crypton Media Future? *neko face*
Rin: Oh, hi there LeNyan. Well, regarding that question, it's kinda an interesting story-
LeNyan: *drinks coffee* And it sure was.
Rin: *stares at LeNyan unbelievably* uhh... I haven't finished talking-
LeNyan: So I heard you and Len were twins.
Rin: Yes, we wer- Wait, what's with the past tens-?!
LeNyan: *sigh* Oh really. So what is he like?
Rin: Well, Len is a nice person. He's kind, understanding and a gentle guy.
LeNyan: *nosebleeds* KYAHAAHA! REALLY?! What does he like to eat besides bananas?
Rin: *uncomfortable* Um... He likes sweet stuff and- *realizes* Hey! Isn't this supposed to be about me?! Why is Len-?!
LeNyan: I'm afraid that's all about the time we have for Rin today. Goodbye! *waves at Rin, dismissing her without looking at her* YOSH! WE SHALL NOW INVITE KAGAMINE LEN-KUUN!
*Len walks casually, hands in his pockets*
*AUDIENCE BECOMES CRAZY PEOPLE*
LeNyan: Uhh... Rin? You can, like, go away now. Len needs to sit. Hasta la vista, baby.
Rin: *glares at LeNyan and walks away, still glaring*
LeNyan: Oh glob! I can't believe I'm standing in front of THE Kagamine Len!
Len: *laughs* Of course. Nice to meet you too.
LeNyan: *sits down and takes out phone*
*AWKWARD SILENCE. A LONG ONE.*
Len: *laughs nervously* uhh... LeNyan-san? May I ask? What are you doing?
LeNyan: Oh me? I'm updating my Twitter account. Don't you have one Len? *realizes and smiles sheepishly* umm... Len?
Len: Yes?
LeNyan: GIMME YOUR TWITTER ACCOUNT OR I CALL BEAT THE CRAP OUTTA YOU, YOU *censored* DUMBASS.
Len: Whaa?! Why- Isn't this a talk show?! *looks at LeNyan neko face* Okay FINE.
*A FEW FRICKIN SECONDS LATER*
LeNyan: EVERYONE! I GOT LEN'S TWITTER ACCOUNT! WHO WANTS IT? I'LL SELL IT FOR 100 BUCKS!
*AUDIENCE CHEERED AGAIN*
Len: *gasps* HEY! What are you doing! That's so low man!
LeNyan: I'm sorry. Okay back to where we were. So Len, how long were you in Crypton?
Len: *calmed down* I'm not sure actually, 10 years maybe? *hand on his chin*
LeNyan: Oh really? Ok next question.
Len:*smiles* Fire away.
LeNyan: Len-kun, can I rape you?
*THE STADIUM SUDDENLY IS OVERFLOWED WITH BLOOD*
Len: *shock* BAKA LENYAN! WTH are you talking about?! Don't go off saying things like that! *blushes*
LeNyan: Aww, look everybody, he's blushing.
*EVERBODY AWW-ED*
Len: Oh come on! *Still blushing*
LeNyan: So, anyway, Len-kun- *pooff*
*SUDDENLY A PUFF OF SMOKE COVERS THE STAGE. WHEN THE SMOKE FINALLY RESIDED, LENYAN (ME!) WAS NOWHERE TO BE SEEN*
Len: *gasps*
Audience: *gasps*
Unicorn: *gasps* MOTHER OF MAIDEN SHE'S GONE!
*AUDIENCE STARES AT LEN*
Len: Whut? You guys are suspecting me? Oh great. What happened to my loyal fans?
*A VOICE SUDDENLY APPEARED OUT OF THE BLUE*
Voice: 'Tis I, who have solved many crimes using magic, and now, I have saved a supestah from getting raped by a perverted monkey. *laughs madly*
Len: Who are you?
Unicorn: OH MY GOSH THE SMOKE HAS SPOKEN!
Len: *looks at Unicorn* SHUT THE HELL UP UNICORN.
*THE SMOKE REAPPEARS AND CLOUDED THE STAGE ONCE AGAIN. WHEN THE SMOKE STARTED TO FADE AWAY, THIS TIME, A BLUE FIGURE WHO WAS WEARING A WHITE CAPE WAS STANDING ON LENYAN'S SEAT*
Dude: OH MY GLOB IT'S MAGIC KAITO EVERYONE! MAGIC KAAIIITTOOOO!
Len: *snaps his head at the direction the voice came from* UNICORN, SHUT- Oh, its the dude. Sorry, we're cool.
Kaito: Yes, 'tis I, Kaito, who came to save the damsel in distress, Rin! And to prevail justice!
Len: Uhh, dude? You kinda got the wrong person here. I ain't Rin. And whut kind of justice? And where's LeNyan?!
*CROWD AWW-ED AGAIN*
Kaito: Hey, hey, hey. One question at a time dude! First, where is Rin? Second, this is supposed to be my section now and third... IDK.
*LENYAN APPEARS FROM BACKSTAGE, HOLDING A BANANA.*
Len: *sweats* I-is that a banana?
LeNyan: *talking with mouth full* yeah, what's with it?
Voice: LEN! THERE YOU ARE! I WAS LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU!
*THE OWNER OF THE VOICE SUDDENLY APPEARS FROM BACKSTAGE*
Len: *gasps* K-kuroneko?! *sweats nervously*
96neko: *Jumps on Len* Yeap, it's moi. Come on! I need help with the tapiocas at Taiwan! *pulls Len away from the stage*
*ANOTHER AWKWARD SILENCE*
Kaito: *pissed* HEY, HEY, hey... Isn't it MY turn now?!
LeNyan: Aw man, already? *swallows banana* okay, everyone. Please welcome KaiMeiGak. *I'm saying this in a boring tone*
Kaito: *waves superiorly*
*CROWD CHEERS. SOME EVEN FAINTED*
LeNyan: *looks at audience* Wha?! You guys, really? And I thought we were friends! After all we've been through... *sobs*
KaiMeiGak: Lolwhut? Do you really hate us that much?!
*AUDIENCE BOOS LENYAN*
LeNyan: Oh come on! FINE, fine. Okay, okay, so- *looks at Meiko* uhh... What's with the Santa outfit?
Meiko: IT'S CHRISTMAAAAAAAAAAASSSS~!
LeNyan: O-okay... And Gakupo? Why are you half naked?
Gakupo: I'm just back from a *censored* club, baby!
*SILENCE*
LeNyan: *takes out phone* yes, producer? It's me. Rate this talk show M please. We have a stripping eggplant here.
Kaito: *suddenly begins talking in an unknown language*
LeNyan: uhh... I guess that's all for them... GIVE 'EM A BIG CLAP EVERYONEE!
KaiMeiGak: *disappears by falling down the stage*
LeNyan: And now, we have the last person to stand on this stage today... Who do you think it is?
*DRUM ROLLS. AUDIENCE CHEERED*
Crowd: LUKA! LUKA! LUKAA!
LeNyan: You're correct! We have Luka just backstage... *cheers*... Before she ate too much tuna and got a stomachache.
*CROWD BOOS*
LeNyan: Okay, okay, calm down peeps. At least we have TAKOLUKAAAAA! A ROUND OF APPLAUSE EVERYONE!
TakoLuka: Nyan~
LeNyan: Awww~ how adorable! Can you speak Chinese?
TakoLuka: Nyan~
LeNyan: *nosebleeds and faints*
*AWKWARD SILENCE AGAIN*
Kaito: She fainted.
Miku: So now we don't have a host.
Rin: Yeah we don't. Hey have you guys seen Len? I need him to carry the road rollers.
Guy: A DUDE RAPED HIM!
Meiko: I suggest we partaay!
Audience: WOOOHHHOOOO!
AND THE NIGHT ENDED WITH UNICORNS FLYING OVER THE RAINBOWS. AND, OH, HAPPY NEW YEAR.
THERE. I KNOW. IT'S STUPID. I JUST, LIKE, TYPED ANYTHING THAT COMES OUT FROM MY MIND. MY FRIEND DARED ME TO UPLOAD THIS. NASTY REVIEWS ARE WELCOMED. HEE HEE.
