Before anyone complains, this story will be a series of One-Shots that will be uploaded together. Also, this story is being told in the mind of a woman who is in too deep in love with the idea of a man who she thought loves her too; do not make any hate comments on this if you cannot understand that. Thank you.

Does Love really have boundaries? Is there really so much hurt a person can take before they explode? When does a heart really break? But, what if something that should break your heart didn't. What if you brought it on yourself?

While my infant daughter, Emily, played with her dolls in her crib, I sat on the rocking chair while rubbing my baby bump. Dimitri and I had made her room before we even knew we were having her. When we moved in together last year after I graduated high school, I told him I wanted at least one room in the house to be painted white and left alone. He found it as an odd request, but he listened anyway. Did I say Dimitri and I made her room? I take that back. I made her room. I decorated the white walls with a mural that touched every inch of the small space. The walls were woven with an ocean theme. It wasn't the typical under the sea or beach theme, though. Instead, it was more of an above the water theme. I created an island on one wall, then the ocean and what would live under the island in the sea along with the sky. My boyfriend had found it funny that I wanted a room to be decorated like this. I just brushed off his comments like one would shake off a fly. It didn't matter if he found the room a bit tacky. I just wanted a piece of the Ocean with me, because he took me out on his boat on our first date.

I was a junior and he was a sophomore in college. My older brother, Ivan, introduced us after he and Dimitri met in school. They got along quite well until Ivan found out that Dimitri and I had mutual feelings for one another. But, never mind that for now. I'll get back to it later.

We've been together for almost three years, now. He is still in college, working on his last year at a university, while I stayed home and took care of our daughter. Emily had been a surprise for both of us. I found out I got pregnant at the beginning of my senior year. It was scary to say the least, because I only found out because of a blood test from my doctor. He ordered the blood test to see if I had my Anemia under control before I could donate blood. Well, it turned out it is under control, but I still couldn't donate because of my pregnancy. I didn't even find out from the doctor; the doctor told my mother and she "told" me. Well, yelled at me is more like it.

I had been on birth control for about a few months before Dimitri and I actually did it for the first and only time, at the time. The condom we used broke, but we weren't really concerned because I was on Birth control. Well, if it worked, I wouldn't have Emily. After what happened, I cut ties from my mom. She dragged me down to the clinic to get an abortion, which as it turns out, she wasn't allowed to do legally without my consent, which she didn't have. Dimitri bought our house from his Aunt Alberta, who immediately made us move in because my Mom tried once again to abort my baby; this time she would do it personally.

I knew having kids at a young age was wrong and that I should have been more careful, but did that mean that my mother could kill her own grandchild if she wanted to? How would she have felt if my grandmother did the same thing to her when she was having Ivan or me? Janine had me at sixteen! I gave birth at seventeen. She didn't even know who our father is because she apparently slept with two different guys at the same time. Or maybe it was because having us at a young age didn't let her do certain things growing up. Perhaps, she just didn't want me to make the same mistakes as her. One way would have made sense, but how she acted on it did not and for that I couldn't find it in myself to forgive her.

Now, Ivan was a different story from my mother. He was my best friend and brother. We cut ties as well. He didn't get along with Dimitri once he found out he knocked me up, which is how he found out we were secretly seeing each other. They got into constant fights about how Dimitri only took advantage of me, didn't really love me, and would leave at the first chance he got. Dimitri got sick of what he said and made me choose between him and my own brother. At the time, I was thinking of what was best for my child, and I chose Dimitri. I didn't want to explain to my baby why his/her father wasn't around because I told him to leave. So, I said goodbye to Ivan. Even though he was hurt, he said I could always go back to him once I came to my senses.

I didn't understand what he meant at the time until now. After we moved into the house, Dimitri changed. He went from being sweet to sex-crazed, actually. I refused to have pregnancy sex because I was scared of hurting Emily while she was still growing in me. Dimitri became irate and frustrated with it. He said if he wanted to be constantly cock blocked, we could have just stayed with Ivan. I once again just brushed off his comments as nothing and stayed with him because once our baby was born, he would go back to becoming my sweet, caring Dimitri.

Right after Emily was born, Dimitri constantly pressured me for sex. I said no for the first few weeks because the doctor said my body was still healing. He growled and slammed me against the wall. All I can remember from that was fabric ripping, his growling, my whimpering, then black out. I woke up in a hospital bed and Dimitri told the doctors I had fallen down the stairs. When he left the room, the doctors informed me that some parts inside of my vaginal wall ripped. They couldn't determine what it was from and assumed it may have been because I had just given birth. Oh, what stupid doctors. I already knew what it was!

Once those wounds healed, Dimitri went back to pressuring me. I gave in because I was afraid of what would happen. We constantly did it. We had sex at any given time of the day and night. We would even do it in any place deemed possible; we even did it in Emily's room!

It was long before I fell pregnant again and because of my trauma to my vaginal wall, it was doctor's order not to have sex. Dimitri became abusive, abrasive, and quite frightening. One time, I could have sworn while he bathed Emily, his hands lingered way too long on her bottom area and she cried out. He did something to my baby and once again, I did nothing because I was too afraid of him. When she cried, I took her from him and told him never to bathe her, change her diaper, or even go near her without me around. He only rolled his eyes and said: "Who wants a fucking brat, anyway?"

It got so bad that I actually called up a friend, Natasha Ozera, for help. She is my best friend ever since Vasilisa Dragomir died in a car accident with her brother Christian, with Dimitri as the driver. Dimitri was the only one who survived. She would call on behalf of Ivan, since Dimitri had all our phones blocked, our emails blocked, and online profiles blocked from him as well. I told her everything that happened and she was horrified. She couldn't understand why Dimitri changed all of a sudden.

She theorized that perhaps something inside of him snapped after the accident. She thinks that sex was probably the only way for him to forget about the accident, which he blamed himself for. I only said that I agreed with her, but since I couldn't give into his requests, I don't know what else to do.

That was when I got the idea of calling his ex girlfriend Avery Lazar. Since I couldn't comfort Dimitri, then perhaps she could. That has been going on for months now. I'm about seven months into my cycle and Avery has moved in with us so that she would always be here to comfort Dimitri right away. We didn't even sleep in the same room anymore; it was now their room while I slept in Emily's on the floor. I didn't trust Avery around Emily, seeing as she saw her as some shiny new toy; no one touches my daughter but Ivan, Tasha, or me.

Dimitri and Avery had left earlier to go on a date, while I chose to stay home to watch Emily. They left in a flash. It must have been a relief for them to only spend time along doing only God knows what while his pregnant girlfriend and infant daughter stayed home.

Why do I continue to stay with him if he acts his way, you ask? It's simple. I love him. I love him so much it hurts when he isn't around and I don't want to feel that way. Perhaps I'm just so stupid that I didn't even think of all the bad things he has done.

Well, now I have and I have made a choice.

I hope you guys enjoyed the first part. This is the first thing I've written in a really long time and honestly; this was only a spur of the moment kind of the thing.

Love,

Julie