Dan Schneider and Nickelodeon, they own Victorious. The Pharcyde owns "Passing Me By", the song this story is (sort of) named after. For anybody who's been reading and following "The Best Shower Ever" (and "The WhizGrunchShower Double Feature"), those will be updated at some point. It's just a matter of working out the different ideas and actually writing them down. Until then, there's this Robbie-centric piece of work to keep you interested. Hopefully you enjoy this as much as you apparently enjoy the raunchy, naughty, sex-filled crossovers I've already written.
(Friday morning, late spring/early summer 2012, 6AM)
As soon as I wake up, something feels horribly wrong when I step out of bed. But for the time being, I just chalk it up to possibly waking up on the wrong side of the bed, or something like that. I mean, it's Friday, it's almost summertime, and most of all, it's almost graduation time. This should be an exciting point in my life.
With that thought in mind, I head off to my bathroom so I can start getting ready for the day ahead.
At first, I feel fine, heck, I even feel great. So much to the point that I even hum "Forever Baby" for most of the time that I'm in the shower. But then, once I start getting dressed, something funny starts happening. All of the good vibes and general happiness that I was feeling kind of got sucked out of me.
For whatever reason, I started to think about all the relationships, or lack thereof, that I've had since I've been at Hollywood Arts. Now when it came to Jessica Wolfe, Gabriella, or even the girls that I tried to pick up when I was trying to be like that dickhead Ryder Daniels, I wasn't really stressing over it, at least not at that moment. What really bugged me was how I was viewed by the four girls, or better yet, the four women that I had been dealing with day in and day out for the last half-decade.
To start off with, my mind had drifted off to what it had been like with Jade over the years. It was kind of hard to figure out, because for one, it wasn't like I ever had any chance with her, for a lot of reasons, and I never really pursued her before, at least not that I can remember. So then what was the problem, you ask? Looking back on everything, I seriously had to wonder if Jade looked at me as a man, let alone as a friend. Granted, pretty much any guy that wasn't Beck practically got on her nerves, and hell, even he rubbed her the wrong way a lot of times. Still, even with that in mind, I still had to wonder if I had any type of value in her life, especially after she said she "only tolerated me" before she broke up with Beck. But that was only the tip of the iceberg.
After I got my mind off of Jade, I had started thinking about my relationship with Tori. Now, to be fair, ever since she got to the school a couple of years ago, Tori had been a good friend to me, and to everybody else in the group, even Jade, which had to be hard considering how she treated her a lot of the time. But even with all of that, I still was bugged by the idea that if I ever tried being anything more than that with her, she would look at me like, or think that I was crazy. Anytime I made a hint at, or brought up the idea of her being my girlfriend, it always made her act like I asked her, or said something that was a lot worse. Knowing how Tori is, I get that she wasn't trying to be hurtful about it, and for what it's worth, compared to how most girls rejected me, Tori, for lack of a better phrase, always let me down easy. But even with that in mind, I still was wondering what made me so unappealing to Tori. I mean, I couldn't have done any worse than Danny, Ryder or that asshole Steven, who had the nerve to two-time her and that girl Carly from Seattle. I may be a lot of things, but a cheater isn't one of them. Not that I've had anybody to cheat on, but...
Since I'm sticking to the Vega household, that brings me to the older sister, Trina. Now, before Tori came along, I had very little contact with Trina, and besides that, she had rarely, if ever, showed herself to be anything more than a conceited, self-absorbed, ego-tripped excuse of a woman, so it didn't make a lot of sense that I would ever think about her even a little bit. But then it happened. That fucking stage kiss for that audition for that play happened. Then all of a sudden, I was blown away, amazed, intrigued. Dare I say it, I was in love. At least I thought I was. So like a idiot, I went around thinking that Trina liked me, and maybe even wanted to go out with me. As a result, I went around like a fucking fool trying to make her my girlfriend, and all it got me was milk being spit in my face, my cabbage being stolen, and then a door being slammed in my face.
The pooka fish incident and being stuck with her because we had to work on the Grub Truck together should have been lessons right then and there that I had no business with her, or wanting to be with her, and the same thing goes for when I had to review her play. But like a dumbass, I kept on hoping, wishing and wondering what it would be like if Trina was my girlfriend. Even after getting sprayed with the flock gun when I helped with the Christmas tree, and getting duped into helping her with her PMA audition even though she didn't help with mine, I still hadn't learned anything. Up until a few weeks ago, when she told me that she didn't like me, even as a friend, it never really sunk in that I didn't have any type of chance with Trina. Knowing how she acted on a regular basis, and how she treated me most of the time, I shouldn't have cared that she didn't like me. But I did like her at one point, and even with all of her screw-ups and flaws, being turned down by her, it broke me a little bit. That wasn't the only reason why it hurt, but it still hurt just the same.
But the biggest, most difficult problem that I had that plagued me when it came down to relationships came in the form of a short, bubbly, cute, ditzy but still sweet, cupcake-loving redhead. My biggest problem was one Cat Valentine.
Words can't really describe how much I wanted Cat. I kind of felt that way the whole time I've known her, but it really started when she kissed me that one day during lunch. Oddly enough, that was while I still thought there was something going on between me and Trina, and even though I liked her, when Cat kissed me, I felt something different, way different. Right then and there, I started thinking that Cat was the one. Hell, I even asked her to meet my parents. You don't just ask any girl to meet your parents.
Still, no matter how much I tried, I still couldn't manage to get Cat to give me a chance. As far as I knew, she didn't want me, and if she did, she seemed to make it her business to try and hide it. It also seemed like out of all of the guys who wanted Cat, I was the only one who didn't get a shot to prove myself.
She went out with Danny, who as it turned out, was an ex-boyfriend of Tori's before she came to Hollywood Arts. As a result, they ended up kissing. Everything was only resolved after she punched Tori in the nose, which meant that Tori had to go to the hospital. Then there was the Jason guy who showed up to Sikowitz's house during the method acting challenge. As soon as he comes in and says something about a concert at the Moxie, she goes with him, even though she lost the challenge because of it. It made even less sense since they ended up with us at the Vega house.
After that came the Tug guy she supposedly went to Prome with. Apparently the guy really did exist, and he had showed up to be with her. But even if that's the case, it still kind of bugs me that she didn't wanna go with me. Going out with that Evan guy even seemed like a better idea than going out with me to her. Now that was even harder to believe than the whole Tug thing. I mean, he only approached her when he saw her wearing the blonde wig she wore for "The Blonde Squad", then when she found out that he only liked girls with blonde hair and blue eyes, it caused her to go into panic mode, which made her think that she had to keep a lie going by wearing the wig and blue contacts in order to keep dating him, even after Tori and I tried to talk her out of it. And even after he dumped her, and I had sung "I Think You're Swell", she still was considering dying her hair blonde just to get another chance with Evan.
Cat's lack of regard for the song isn't what I was worried about though. What really bothered me was that she wanted a guy, in Evan, who was more or less making her change to impress him, but she couldn't and didn't think that I deserved a chance, even though I had always liked her the way she was, and I wouldn't have asked her to change anything about herself.
But the worst thing that might have happened, out of all the things that happened that kept me from being with Cat, was what happened at the Cow Wow a few months back. Even though I went to that dance with Gabriella, somehow I ended up with Cat, while Gabriella was with Sinjin. Eventually, I started feeling brave, so I finally made a move. I kissed Cat. I didn't necessarily expect that we would be boyfriend and girlfriend after that, although I would be lying if I said I wasn't hoping for it. But what I really didn't expect was what happened once I kissed her. She ran away. Screaming. Then she left the dance on her bike. I thought that at best, she might kiss me back, and maybe even say that she wanted to go out with me, and at worst, she would have pushed me away, yelled at me, or maybe even slapped me. Instead, she ran away screaming, and rode off on her bike, presumably to go back home. Out of all the times I had been rejected, that felt like the worst one of all.
As I got ready, and eventually left for school, any positive, upbeat feeling that I had when the morning started was pretty much gone. The more I thought about it, the more frustrated and upset it had made me. It was good that I wasn't expressing any of this out loud, or otherwise Rex would have gave me all types of shit about it. Either that, or he would've asked me what I was bugging about, or he just would've said that I was acting wonky. But it had really bugged me for the last however many minutes.
I mean, I know that I wasn't the hottest guy, or the coolest guy in the world, or even in Hollywood Arts. I might not be the toughest or the strongest, and I understood that I had a bad habit of doing and saying things that weren't necessarily manly, but was I really that unattractive and repulsive? It was bad enough that Jade, Tori, Trina and Cat didn't think I was even a little bit appealing, but then that feeling spread to other girls around the school. Jessica Wolfe said that her date with me was the worst date she had ever been on, and when I called myself imitating Ryder, one of the girls I asked out said that she would rather "sit at home and do nothing" instead of going out with me. That kind of thing could crush the souls of a lot of guys, and right now it was damn near crushing mine.
On my way to school, while I was at a stoplight, I heard a old song playing in the car next to me. Normally I don't pay too much attention to what other people listened to in their own cars, but for some reason, the words I heard resonated with me.
"...'Cause then, I would let you know that I love you so/ and if I was your man, then I would be true/ the only lying I would do was in the bed with you/ Then I signed 'sincerely, the one who loves you dearly, P.S., Love Me Tender'/ the letter came back three days later, 'Return To Sender', damn! (damn!)"
"She keeps on passing me by. She keeps on passing me by..."
The last part of the song that I heard stuck with me the most, because it seemed to fit the description of how my love life, or lack of one, was going. All the girls I had ever wanted, no matter whether it was a total stranger, someone I kind of knew, or the four girls who were supposedly my friends, they all had one thing in common: none of them saw me as boyfriend material. Apparently, I was that unattractive and repulsive.
I was gonna dwell on it some more, but before I knew it, I was at Hollywood Arts, and I had to put all of the gut-wrenching, soul-killing, and just generally fucked-up feelings behind me, at least for now. While I was at my locker, I heard a "hey Robbie" coming from my right. It was Tori, and Cat was practically right behind her. I say "hi" to be nice, but deep down, I'm still a little frustrated because they wouldn't have understood how I felt. And they probably wouldn't have cared. Nope, they would just keep on passing me by.
And I thought my other stuff was bad. If this story seems like it isn't that good, or like it just flat out sucks, and like it's just a filler type of story, well, I don't blame you for thinking that, because that's kind of what I'm thinking. I came up with this out of the blue, and I thought I needed to write something a little softer to keep the fanfic police off my back.
For those who might be wondering, yeah, I'm still working on "...Best Shower Ever", and with any luck, I'll be done before or on Thanksgiving, and hopefully my updates will reflect that. For now, let me know what you thought of this junk here. See ya later.
